The Game Changer
by 2damnpretty2die
Summary: They were both constantly at the receiving end of loss; what is it going to take for that to change? CANON: Set after season 9
1. Without a leg to stand on

**The Game Changer**

_**They were both constantly at the receiving end of loss; what is it going to take for that to change?**_

**A/N: **So my friend and I had been talking quite a lot about what happened after the perfect storm. We ended up writing a little story which grew and grew (and grew). We are at least 70-80% complete so we thought we'd let chapter 1 out into the ff world to see what you think.

I've enjoyed working with Nic, it's been good fun having a writing partner. Hopefully a good mix of our personalities will come through. My lovely Zoe is here as usual with her _awesome _brain powers but we have a little family going here and Gene has been gracious and offered her beta powers for us too.

Our little labour of love, we do hope you enjoy it as much as we have enjoyed writing it cause that's what fan fiction is all about.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters I am borrowing from Grey's Anatomy or any other TV programme or Film that I may reference. I am writing this purely for my own sanity, I do not intend to gain anything else from it. All mistakes are mine and spell-checker's, they do escape no matter how hard my wonderful Beta tries to squash them with a fly swat.

* * *

**Chapter One: Without A Leg To Stand On**

**The Case Of The Missing Legs...**

"MOM! Have you seen my leg?" Arizona stood awkwardly in front of the empty wardrobe compartment looking bemused. "Actually … any of my legs." She sighed to herself. She was willing to even go with her high heel leg except that, too, was missing from its resting spot. Four freaking legs and all four were missing.

The door slammed shut, revealing her reflection staring back at her in the mirror. Leaning most of her weight on her cane, she looked at her towel-clad image. Scanning down to the missing appendage, the void no longer reminded her of what was cut off, but now it represented the loss of her heart. For so long it had always came back to the leg, but it wasn't the leg. She just never had the chance to explain. Callie just shut off from her and every time Arizona tried to talk to her, she could see the pain just chipping away at her wife. The hatred that had come that night was a year's worth of built up, buried issues. They never talked about anything and she knew they were both to blame for that. Arizona loved staying in a bubble and that bubble most certainly burst that night, leaving them where they were today.

"Hey, Sweetie. Why are you not ready for your date yet?" Barbara stood leaning against the doorframe, watching her daughter battle her inner demons. The same demons she watched Callie fight with whenever she helped out at Callie's, too.

"My prosthetics are missing. All of them. And don't you go telling me you moved them for cleaning again in the short time I was in the shower. It was Sofia, wasn't it? Again with the fricken disappearing leg trick … Sofia! SOFIA ROBBIN SLOAN!" Arizona wiped the water from her forehead as she shouted sternly and loudly enough that she knew her daughter would hear her regardless of her wearing her device or not.

"Sweetie, you finish getting ready I'll go ask her it she's seen them." Barbara put a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder, giving her reflection a small smile. Arizona looked sad as she nodded her head in agreement, grabbed for her crutches, and moved over to her dressing table to start drying her hair.

Barbara gave the rainbow-colored door a sharp rap before she entered. Miniature versions of her mother's eyes looked up, pleading with her Gramma. Plastic feet attached to what she knew would be left legs poked out from under her a canopy of blankets with some cushions trying to hide them by way of a pillow fort.

"You know if she comes in here, she's going to find them and then what are you going to do? You can't keep doing this. You have to let your moms get on with their lives, Darling." Barbara took a seat next to her granddaughter, taking her hand.

"They still love each other. I know it. Mommy keeps a picture of the three of us in her office from when I was a baby and Mama, she's just sad all the time, but whenever she sees Mommy pass when we're Skyping, she lights up, Gramma. I can see it in her eyes. They don't want to date other people; they want to date each other. Mama can't go on a date with the poo-poo head; she's not Mommy." Sofia buried her head into Barbara's chest, cuddling into the older woman.

"You know, Sofia, sometimes I forget you are just seven when you talk. You have such an older head on you, but then 'poo poo head' hits home and you're still my baby. You see more than your mothers do and you're right: it's time for the_ poo poo heads'_ dates to stop. Come on. Let's sort this." Barbara smirked as she got up off the bed, picking up more blankets to better camouflage her daughter's legs. She knew encouraging her granddaughter wasn't smart, but she understood where Sofia was coming from. She was an active part in everybody's lives and she knew exactly what Sofia saw because she saw it herself.

* * *

"Mom, I thought you were going to get my legs from Sofia?" On her crutches, Arizona hobbled into the living room to see her mother sitting on the couch reading the newspaper.

"Yeah, she didn't have them. You've probably misplaced them. You have been pretty distracted, Sweetie." Barbara nonchalantly spoke to her daughter without looking up and having her eyes give the truth away.

"Really!" Arizona huffed and made her way into her daughter's room, taking in the view in front of her.

"Hi, Mama. Have you come to play with me in my fort?" Sofia smiled up sweetly at her mom. "Would you like a cup of tea with us in here? There's plenty of space." Crawling out further, Sofia's head poked fully out of the opening of her recently improved fort, now giving her mother a wide, cheeky grin.

"No, Sofia, you know very well that I am going out. Now tell me where they are!" Arizona looked crossly at her daughter while scanning the room for her missing prosthetics.

"Mama, but you don't have your leg on. You said that you would never go out without it on. Have you misplaced your leg again?" Sofia answered her mother straight faced trying not to crack under the pressure of Arizona's stern look.

"You know very well I can't find any of my legs, Sofia Robbin Sloan! Now where are they? Abby is going to be picking me up soon. " Sofia cringed at the use of three of her four names, a clear indicator of just how much trouble she was in as Arizona bent down best she could while balancing on her crutches and looked into the fort.

Coming up empty, Arizona sighed when she realized she was getting nowhere fast with her daughter and she left the bedroom to return to where her mother was still staying tight lipped. Making eye contact with Barbara, she overemphasized hitting Abby's number into the keys of the telephone.

After apologizing for having to cancel their date so late, Arizona made her way back into her daughter's room. As she turned her back on her own mother, Barbara smiled as she returned her gaze to her newspaper.

"Okay, Sofia. You win. Give me a cup of tea." Arizona expertly dropped to the floor after years of practice with a grace she never figured she'd have being one full-limb short. She scooted herself into her daughter's newly made den and instantly got tangled in the mess of sheets. As she unraveled herself from the bright pink material, she realized that the structure of Sofia's fort had toes with red painted nails.

"Sofia! Really? Why would you do that?" Arizona tried to keep her face straight. She was angry, but she did find it kind of funny. Deep down, Arizona knew herself that she didn't want to go out on the date and miss out on a night with her daughter and mother.

"Mama, I have to go back home soon and I just wanted to spend some time with you. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just one our last night together,_ just us._ I'm sorry." Arizona looked at her daughter when she heard the spare bedroom door shut, realizing that her mother slipped away to give them proper time together. Her own heart sank at the thought that they'd soon be separated again.

"You and your gramma both conspired against me, didn't you?" Arizona's annoyance and anger melted a bit more when her daughter crawled into her lap, cuddling into her arms like she did as a toddler. "Okay, Sweetie. You have me to yourself. What do you want to do?" Arizona gave her daughter a tight squeeze as she pulled both of them further into the depths, settling in on the cushions of the fort, what would be her daughter's makeshift bed for the night.

**Once Upon A Twisted Time ...**

"Mama, will you tell me the story?" Sofia yawned, cuddling deeper into Arizona's embrace. Being one of their last nights together, Arizona couldn't help but feel guilty that she almost gave these special moments up to go out on a date. She could date any time; she only had such limited time with her daughter. That guilt made it hard for her to refuse, but she still sighed and instead reached for a storybook shoved under the fort blankets. "Why do you want that story, Baby? It doesn't have a happy ending. Let's read some Amelia Bedelia."

"No, Mama, maybe one day it will. Please tell me the story." Sofia's smile held hope that Arizona couldn't bring herself to squash. Hope she maybe secretly harbored herself.

"Okay. First, did you brush your teeth?"

Sofia nodded eagerly and opened wide for Arizona to inspect.

"Wash your face?"

Again Sofia nodded. She'd done her nightly routine properly just in case Mama didn't react well to the missing legs and she needed to portray an angelic child.

"Use your machine?" Arizona looked over to the table in the corner, everything was neatly put away with a towel covering it from view. Her daughter would leave toys out, shoes in the middle of the room, half eaten pieces of pizza in her bathroom but never would she leave her breathing machine out for anybody to see. She hated being tied to the stupid thing, it embarrassed her. She didn't want anybody to know about it. She got enough crap for everything else, and she didn't want to add that to the mix.

Embarrassed, Sofia nodded again looking anywhere but at her Mama.

Tickling her daughter to bring her mood back up, she raised an eyebrow."Did you by chance hang your towel back up in the bathroom?" She knew that her daughter always forgot that step of her nightly routine without question and teasing her about it was a nice change of subject.

"Gramma!" Sofia yelled loudly and Barbara quickly appeared in the doorway.

"Your wet towel is hung up. Don't worry." She smiled when her daughter shook her head.

"You spoil her, Mom. How's she going to learn if you do it for her?"

"Like you learned when I would clean out from under your bed for you before room inspections because you thought out of sight, out of mind? You were fifteen and I was still racing your Dad to make your room acceptable," Barbara countered before disappearing, leaving Sofia to tease her mom over her childhood antics.

"So where were we? Right, once upon a time …" Arizona quickly began, only to be interrupted.

"How come you were messy but I can't be?"

"Because I'm the Mom. That's why!" Arizona choked as the words she promised she'd never say came spilling out of her mouth. When she heard her Mom chuckle in the other room, she knew she'd get hell for that statement later.

"You sound like Mommy." Sofia feigned a pout.

"Yeah, well, your Mommy is a very smart woman." Arizona felt her cheeks redden and her heart speed up. Quickly changing the subject, she returned to their argument at hand. "So do you want story time or do you want to tease me?"

"Both!" Sofia giggled, pulling the book from her Mama's hands, throwing it out of reach so Arizona had no choice but to continue with_ the_ story.

"Story time and then sleep." Arizona kissed her daughter's forehead, getting comfortable once more.

"Once upon a time in the small village of Graceloanem Orial, there was a beautiful maiden with long, yellow locks curling all the way down her back, crystal blue eyes shining of pure love, and a dimpled smile that could turn the most sour people into happy again. This maiden loved life so so so much; she was such a happy person. Some of the villagers said she could make flowers bloom on dead plants and turn hay into the finest gold just because of her loving personality."

"What color flowers?" Sofia yawned again. Her eyelids were getting heavy but she refused to succumb to sleep because it was her favorite story.

"Red. The most amazing shade of ruby red."

"I like red."

"I know, Baby Girl. So this maiden lived in the village where everyone else was kind and nice, too. They all loved each other and looked out for each other and were the best of friends."

"I wish I lived there, too." Sofia could imagine the wonderful place so happy and nice and it made her happy thinking about it.

"Oh, but then a wicked witch came and released her wild enchanted beasts into the village. But the maiden wasn't scared because the villagers had already overcome so much in their history and she knew they'd pull through and triumph over this wicked witch. There had been intruders armed with bows who couldn't break this village apart. An awful carriage collision where lives hung in the balance only to come out on the sunny side once again. They were a united bunch, except this time was different because the witch's powers were so much stronger than they'd ever encountered. Her evil ran so deep. One day, the maiden was out in the forest, picking wild berries for the pies she was going to bake later that day …"

"I heard the maiden's Mommy is a better baker." Sofia giggled, curling deeper into Arizona's side to hide her face from her Mama.

"Hey, the maiden does just fine with her baking." Arizona feigned insult, tickling her daughter until she threatened to pee herself.

"So one day, the maiden was picking berries when she got cornered by one of the witch's beasts. He attacked her, trapping her in his jaws and almost ending her life, but then the beautiful princess from the village came and saved her from the beast. Killing the beast with her bravery and courage, she also saved the village from the witch's spell."

"How'd she kill the beast, Mama?"

"She had special princess powers; her love for her villagers was so strong, her love saved everyone. The princess always only ever wanted to save people. She was beautiful inside and out and everybody loved her even before she freed the village, but the maiden in particular loved the princess very much. But after her awful fight with the beast, she was now maimed in what she saw as the most horrible way and feared no return of her feelings. Except the princess didn't care because she also loved the maiden regardless of the damage left by the beast. She saw that her physical deformities only added to her beauty."

"Because it's what's inside that counts, that makes you beautiful, right?" Sofia was raised to know the difference between good and bad and what constituted pretty and ugly.

"Yes, the princess knew that the maiden was a good person and that alone was what made her undeniably beautiful in her eyes. The two women started a life together when they sealed their true love for each other with a kiss and a promise of forever."

Sofia giggled, clapping her hands together in glee. "Cuz kissing means they love each other for ever and ever and ever." She smiled. She loved the part when they kissed. When the prince kissed Sleeping Beauty in the Disney film, their daughter, starting at age four would swoon as if she were the recipient of the kiss. Sofia loved fairy tales; their daughter was a true romantic.

Arizona smiled at Sofia's reaction. The same reaction she had every single time she heard this story. "Yes Baby, they would_ always_ love each other." Her smile faltered momentarily as pain shot deep into her heart. She cleared her throat and focused on her daughter's joy. "So they were wonderful together and loved life and each other very much except what they didn't know was that the beast's bite released poison into the maiden's body that slowly ate away at her. Within time, it started to change the maiden slowly and she no longer could make pretty flowers grow. Instead, her touch killed everything it came into contact with, including the princess' soul. The princess tried to fight it, tried to bring her maiden back from evil's clutches, but it was too strong and one day, the maiden was as evil as the wicked witch. Completely changed for the bad, with all her powers of evil, the maiden lashed out cruelly, banishing the princess to a faraway land never to be heard from again. The poison eventually ran its course, leaving the maiden and returning her conscience again, but after her actions, the maiden felt as ugly inside as she thought she looked outside. With the princess gone, no contact between them, the maiden forever promised to right her wrongs and maybe one day they'd be reunited and she could be forgiven."

Arizona looked down and saw that her daughter had fallen asleep. Kissing the top of her head, she slowly crawled out of the fort, expertly hopping up onto her crutches once again. The fort needed her legs more than she did for the night and she was okay with that. Looking over at a small sniffle, her own mother was standing in the doorway watching with love and adoration on her face, a few tears marking her cheeks.

"I don't know why she likes that story. It's morbid and I wish I'd never made it up," Arizona whispered to her mother as she reached the door.

"Mama?" Sofia waited for her mom to turn back around.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Do you miss Mommy?"

Arizona froze momentarily in shock that her daughter had_ finally_ caught on to the fairy tale's underlying story. Tears welled in her eyes and she grabbed onto Barbara's arm for support. "I do, Baby Girl, I do," she whispered and quickly exited the room before the tears could fall in front of her family.

**Go Away, Don't Go...**

There weren't many things in life that could shatter Arizona's heart into thousands of pieces like her daughter pressing the issue of her ex-wife and her feelings toward Callie. Both Arizona and Barbara knew this. Her decision to let Callie go, make Callie go to Pennsylvania, wasn't an easy one and it had been the most selfless act she'd done in her entire life. It was Arizona trying to make things better because there was no way she could make things right between them. Her ultimate act of betrayal soiled any chance she had at a future with her family, so she did what she could and she packed up her ex-wife and daughter and sent them worlds away, all the way across the country.

That didn't mean it was what she wanted, because it wasn't. She didn't want to play whose holiday was it with her ex-wife in regards to her daughter. She didn't want to have to wait months on end to hold her daughter in her arms. It wasn't ideal that she got to talk to Sofia through Skype in order just to see her growing face. Clothes that her daughter had just worn on her last visit home to Seattle no longer fit, requiring another shopping trip each and every time because Sofia grew like a weed and Arizona was missing it. None of it was what she wanted, but she made Callie go. She went behind her back and cemented her transferring of hospitals without consulting her ex-wife because while it wasn't what she wanted, it was what Callie needed.

"She'll understand when she's older. She's still a baby and she's confused." Barbara tried to get through to her daughter, who sat lifeless on the couch recounting the past as if she could do something to change it.

"What? She'll understand her mama destroyed her family and she'll hate me just like Callie?"

"Callie doesn't hate you, Arizona." Barbara cupped her daughter's chin in her hand, turning her to face her. "Callie doesn't hate you," she repeated.

"Mom, we've barely spoken in over five years. She even got Sofia her own phone so I didn't have to go through her to talk to my daughter. When I call the landline, Callie immediately passes me off to Sofia. She emails me updates on her education or health or to set plans for the next custody switch off. If I Skype, Callie stays completely out of the room or if she has to go through the room, she speed walks so I barely get sight of her. If she has something that needs my immediate attention, she texts me whatever she has to say. I think we've had a handful of actual conversations in five years and I haven't seen her since I put them on the plane to Pennsylvania. Callie hates me. Five years has done nothing to change those feelings," Arizona explained. "I should have never let her go."

"You made her go," Barbara reminded her.

"What choice did I really have? She was suffering, dying in Seattle. At least there she had opportunity to do something, to be something. If she'd been around when rumors spread about why we really divorced, she would have been humiliated aside from everything else."

"So you saved your wife even though she couldn't save you?" She pushed. Barbara was a smart woman and knew exactly why Arizona made Callie go to Pennsylvania. Arizona felt like a hopeless case, but that didn't mean her wife, her ex-wife, needed to be taken down with her sinking ship. Not only could Callie's career really do something in Pennsylvania, and while Arizona no longer could take care of Callie, could no longer be what she should have been to Callie, her parents could take over where she left off so long ago. Callie wouldn't be alone out there. She wouldn't be putting her life on hold for a woman whom Arizona didn't feel deserved it, herself, and Arizona could give her back some of the future she'd stolen from her when she slept with that other woman. When they started dating,_ if_ they started dating, they wouldn't be in each other's faces with it. And though Sofia was shuffled between two coasts, spending every other holiday with Arizona and most of the summers, they figured it out for the best. Barbara was a lifesaver flying Sofia to and from, staying in Seattle during her granddaughter's entire stay to help Arizona out with childcare while Sofia was in her care, and then doing the same with Callie so their daughter wasn't raised by nannies and babysitters but instead by her own family. Callie going to Pennsylvania was Arizona's decision. She'd set the wheels in motion.

**_The difference between Promises and Memories is we break Promises while Memories break us... _**

_Looking back at what she thought was her relief, it was now very obvious to Arizona that her wife wasn't going to let herself become a victim yet again. She wasn't going to play the sympathy card and bring their marital drama into the doors of the hospital. In a matter of seconds, when Callie realized that her wife's ring was attached to that other women's scrub top. Well, Arizona's scrub top. The look on her face as she turned around, blue eyes glistening with unshed tears of guilt, had said it all. What made matters worse was the look on Callie's face said it all too; her heart had been ripped from her chest to hear such venom in Arizona's voice and it obviously haunted her to the core. Days after the storm had passed and they were still trying to clear up the damage while Callie was still trying to keep her heart beating, her head above the raging waters._

_Arizona had pleaded with her that they could work through this, that it was a moment of insanity and she would do anything. Callie was still numb from it while Arizona was trying everything and had even gone to what she saw as the extreme and suggested couples therapy._

_But Callie made it clear to her wife that it was all just too much after too long and she refused the offer of therapy, opting for a quick and easy divorce instead. It seemed to Arizona that for Callie, she had already learned her lesson from an albeit short, but adulterous, marriage and wasn't going to make somebody stay who she thought didn't love her. And in Arizona's eyes, her wife was setting her free. She couldn't save her leg, but she could give Arizona the rest of her life to live as she pleased._

_Even after Arizona apologized and tried to make things right, Callie still remained set on her decision. Arizona knew it wasn't a vengeful decision, Callie told her that she just couldn't bring__herself to repair something that would ultimately break again because she wasn't certain she could come back from it the next time._

_Immediately after the divorce, Arizona had found out that Callie sold her shares to Cristina and resigned from the board. Callie had obviously waited until after the divorce so she didn't have to consult Arizona in her decision. When Arizona had approached Callie on the subject she had retorted that she felt she had no right being there, she didn't have the war wounds as Arizona had made it very clear. She kept the money she had put into the hospital, what was rightfully hers from her own funds before putting the rest from Mark and Arizona's part of the settlement into a trust fund for their daughter only to touch it for Sofia's needs. It wasn't her money, she didn't have the warrior wounds that deserved it; wasn't that what she was told? Who cares that regardless of lacking physical scars, her entire life was essentially ruined by it because she wasn't on the plane. As Arizona told her in plain English, she wasn't on the plane, so she didn't deserve anything, even sympathy and because of that, Callie didn't ask for anything from anybody._

_Arizona watched that while Callie remained pleasant and together at work, she'd noticeably become withdrawn from her friends, only spending time with her daughter. When it was Arizona's time with Sofia, Callie was almost impossible to contact._

_In keeping herself busy, away from everybody, Callie submerged herself in her research and, with the success of her TED speech, had been starting to attract attention from very prestigious institutions. Most notable was the Thomas Jefferson University, which had contacted Callie with a very tempting job offer that she disclosed to nobody. Except Callie didn't and wouldn't even flirt with the idea of leaving Seattle. As much as it was obvious with her actions, her reclusiveness that Callie wanted nothing more than to flee from her trapped life, having to see her Arizona almost daily, a big reminder of her losses, she still had obligations to there. Never would she ever think for one second to take their daughter across the country for her own selfish needs; Arizona knew this and it was never an issue or thought that crossed her mind, losing her daughter even with her__wife's... ex-wife's__brokenness that was obviously plaguing her. That wasn't Callie. So what if her career would stall out in Seattle? They shared a daughter and therefore Arizona's needs were Callie's needs and vice versa. So life went on as usual and Callie was living for her daughter, Arizona figured Callie thought she had nothing else in her life worth living for. But as Arizona knew too well, the life of solitude wasn't so bad. No life meant no drama and no drama meant no heartache. Well, heartache aside from the living reminder of her failures, but those were her own demons to bear. Callie made sure they were hers and hers alone and she wasn't letting anybody in._

"_First order of business, Thomas Jefferson University Hospital contacted us with an arrangement opportunity for one of our fellow surgeons. It would be a six-month stint with our surgeon going back and forth on their dime between our hospital and their own. It is a__wonderful learning opportunity and they're eager for us to agree because the surgeon already turned down a job offer from them. We're looking at what could be a great opportunity, giving the hospital some good publicity for the first time in too long." Jackson projected his voice to all members of the board present._

"_Who is the member of staff?" Derek questioned. As he waited for Avery to reply, Cristina interjected._

"_They want Torres." Cristina stared straight at Arizona. She wanted to see how the blonde reacted to the news. Callie hadn't told anyone about what happened that night, but Cristina had caught on rather quickly, being on the other side of an adulterous relationship herself, and when Callie sold her shares over without a second thought or explanation, it had only cemented the idea that Arizona had broken her friend once again._

_As Arizona let the news sink in, she tried to organize in her head how they would deal with Sofia for six months of Callie traveling back and forth. Her chain of thought was broken by a very excited Avery, who began tell the group the details._

"_Yes, they actually offered her a very prominent position. I mean, it's the nation's seventh best orthopedics program. She'd be trained on the most up-to-date technology, teaching some of the best and brightest students. I have no idea how we will be able to keep her once she goes and gets a taste of it. Also, the offer they put on the table completely blows any offer we can give her out of the water, we can't compete …" Avery looked up at the blunt laugh spilling from Cristina's lips interrupting him._

"_Don't worry about that. She's not going anywhere. It's not even an issue. She'll stay and pay for everyone else's mistakes. It's always going to be Callie putting her own ambitions on the back burner as it's been for too long now." Cristina instantly glared at Arizona. The boardroom went silent with the venom in her voice. The ball was in the blonde's court now and Cristina had just given an uppercut to the chin, backing her into a corner. It was up to her what move she would make next. Not that Cristina wanted to see her friend leave and take her goddaughter with her, but Callie was so unhappy and while nobody else might see it, she did. She saw it, she felt it, but she couldn't stand it any longer._

_And with the new information raging through her brain, Arizona was a mess. She couldn't lose her daughter. She'd already lost her wife. She also hated knowing that keeping Callie here was literally killing her ex-wife's soul. After calling her mom and crying for who knows how long over the phone, she made her decision. As it was, they were pros at making the transition work between them with Sofia. So what if they had to do it a country apart? What did Seattle hold for Callie but of ghosts past? Arizona couldn't save herself and she couldn't save her marriage, but she could give Callie what she needed. For the first time in over a year and a half, Arizona__would put Callie first regardless of what it would do to her. It wasn't her playing the martyr here; it was Arizona doing what was best for somebody else. Maybe a little bit of it was her trying to rectify what she'd done by having the affair, destroying her wife … ex-wife, but even so, she had to do something. What good would Callie be to her patients, to their daughter, if she only continued to live a partial existence? Arizona had to fully let her go. Keeping her in Seattle was purely selfish. They'd figure it out. There was no question there. Callie wasn't Callie anymore. All the light and spark that Arizona had fallen in love with had been extinguished and Arizona wanted … needed to give her something back._

_The board had been dismissed until the following week due to everybody's tight schedules, since discussing this with the surgeon in question was off the table today as Callie was in the OR on a very long procedure. This had bought Arizona time. She needed to talk to someone, the only person she knew who wouldn't judge._

"_Hi, Mom. Are you busy?" Arizona's voice was small and childlike, like a child who was about to tell the truth and was waiting to get punished._

"_Oh, hello, Dear. I was just finishing up the washing, so you have saved me. What can I do for you? Arizona, you sound sad, Baby." Barbara removed herself from the presence of her husband._

"_You know how I asked you not to ask what had happened with Callie?" Arizona's voice continued to get quieter._

"_Yes. I figured you would tell me in your own time. I didn't want to start any fights, so I didn't press the issue."_

_Taking a very deep breath, she blurted out. "It was me, Mom, I did it." Arizona sighed, wiping away the tears that gathered on her cheeks with the back of her hand. Choking back a sob, she continued. "I walked out, I broke promises. I let Callie down. I asked her never to leave and it was me who bailed again. I let both Callie and Sofia down, Mom." She couldn't stop the muffled sobbing from breaking through._

"_It's been a hard year. Sometimes trauma breaks the strongest relationships. You can't take on this blame alone. It takes two to make a marriage and break a marriage, honey. I love Callie and she'll always be my daughter because she saved my daughter's life, but she has play in this as well. You both let that plane crash win and really it's no one's fault." Barbara needed to calm her daughter down. She couldn't physically comfort her from across the country, but she had to try._

"_Or it takes one person destroying the best thing that ever happened to her. I … I cheated on Callie, Mom. I … this wasn't on Callie. This wasn't the stupid plane crash. This was me royally screwing up. Callie, she tried. She did. I hung her out to dry. I'm so sorry." Arizona was now openly, hysterically sobbing. It was the first time she had said it to anyone since telling Alex in the supply closet. Her own disappointment in herself was nothing compared to what she expected from her mother._

"_Oh."_

"_You can say it. I'm a disappointment. You raised me better than that. I am a failure. I … I let you all down."_

"_You made a mistake and one you've obviously paid dearly for, but you aren't a child any longer, Arizona. I did my job. I can only hope that was enough, but the decisions you make for you and your future are yours and yours alone, Honey." Barbara's voice was now a whisper itself as she tried to rein in her own feelings of betrayal. It wasn't her relationship, it wasn't her mistake, but she felt like her daughter had ripped out her own heart, too._

"_Do you still love me?"_

"_Oh, Arizona. Of course, Baby. Your dad, too. There's nothing you could do that could ever change that." Barbara stressed her point._

"_I need to fix this." Arizona cleared her throat._

"_Honey, you two aren't just separated. You got a divorce. There's really no going back here, only moving forward, being the best you two can be for Sofia."_

"_I know that. I do. Or I'm trying really hard to. I'm not the same person, I'm not who she married and she deserves more than this. They both do."_

"_So what are you going to do about it? You wouldn't be calling me if you were going to stick your head in the sand, so what is your plan here? Can I help?" Barbara questioned softly._

"_I need to ... Callie turned down a job offer. A really good job offer and I know it's because she won't take Sofia from me. It would make her career. She has nothing left here in Seattle and I need to make this work. I need to let her go, but I ... I just don't know how?" Arizona closed her eyes, trying to think about the next step._

"_Where is the job offer? Is it far? Will you still be able to be in contact with Sofia?"_

"_Well, you'll be in more contact with Sofia … it's at TJ." Arizona sighed. Ten miles up the road from her parents. Meaning Callie would also be ten miles up the road from her parents and she wasn't sure how much she liked that idea, but she wasn't sure why._

"_Well then, let me think about this. Have you had your dinner yet, dear? Have you made sure you have had enough fluids today? Go take a bath or something. Let me think about this. I have an idea, but I need to talk to your father. And no, I'm not telling him anything about what happened between you two. You know he doesn't like to meddle. I will call you back in 30 minutes, Baby." And with that, Arizona looked at her end of the phone as she heard the sound of her mother hanging up._


	2. The woman of my nightmares

**A/N: **Hello again my pretties. Here we are again with another posting for you, chapter 2. SURPRISE! (Cos it's earlier than expected) I apologize to the guys that read my normal weird stuff. I didn't make very clear that this was a canon fic; my first time writing canon, so please bear with us. We also understand chapter 1 was a little Arizona-centric which is why we decided to post sooner rather than later because of the confusion. There won't be centralized heavy on one or the other main character but there will be plenty of switch off back and forth for a while so another thing to bear with us about. There's a lot of bearing going on but never-fear, we promise some drama, some comedy, some comfort, a little angst, some romance, and a bit more of the comedy stuff on this rollercoaster ride ahead. We had loads of fun writing together and hope you enjoy reading as much as we enjoyed writing. This chapter would not be possible without the awesome letter Z whom painstakingly beta'd for us (two dialects, two ways of thinking, one story... the woman is a superhero). Gene and all her support that NEVER goes unnoticed and is always very welcomed and appreciated. And anybody else that put forth their powers of evil to help us in this endeavor. Thank you everybody for the reviews and alerts. Hope you enjoy. Sadie & Nic

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**Chapter Two : The Woman of my Nightmares**

**Don't Look Under The Bed**

"_I used to walk tall around here. I used to walk tall. Then, came George. He took off at least an inch, and Erica went and left me. That shaved off a few more. I got shorter. All that humiliation makes you shorter. So yeah, I am scared of getting hurt. Cos' one more personal disaster right now, would cut me off at the knees."_

Rolling over, she felt the coolness of damp material underneath her cheeks. Callie was semi-aware of the naked body lying next to hers who she didn't want to wake. Wiping at the tears, she settled down trying to make herself comfortable; to relax her mind into a state of dreamlessness. Except drifting off again she felt the dreams returning, mocking her once more reminding her of memories that six years had not yet tamed.

"_There will be people lining up for you."_

"_Want to give me some names."_

"_I think you'll know."_

"_Dear God, I need your guidance. I kissed a peds surgeon."_

"_You kissed a peds surgeon?"_

"_I never thought I'd end up with a woman God, but, I mean not until lately, but that's not the problem. The problem is the peds thing. She's, she's perky... and has butterflies on her scrub cap. But she's also hot ... really hot. So, help me get over the butterflies. Amen."_

Turning herself again, Callie pulled the sheet tighter around her body, gathering it around her legs as she did so, her subconscious trying to make her feel more secure. The soft sheet slipped from the naked skin, a light snort as the change in temperature hit causing goosebumps to the body lying next to her.

"_Do you know what I was doing before they brought over the cheque? I was counting in my head, trying to figure out how I was going to buy food for the rest of the week if my half was 75 bucks, because I don't have 75 bucks...because my father disowned me and has cleared out my bank account. I am broke, and I am exhausted Arizona. I'm working in the ER because I need the money. 6 people died on my watch today and I am fried. I wanted to stay in last night. I thought, I thought that last night would be the night for us. You know? Our night. But, you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant. I can't do that. I can't."_

"_I have spent the last month trying to convince myself that I don't need kids to be happy. Really trying, giving lectures to myself, saying it out loud to you and to Mark and turning myself inside out to want what you wanted. And then I stopped for a second, and I thought, did you ever try to imagine what it would be like to change for me? Because I don't think you did. What you did was you dismissed my dream... my dream... which says to me that you don't give a rat's ass if I'm happy. I never understood squat about who you are. And now I do, and I don't like it."_

"_Oh, really? Really, really? I'm supposed to change for you? Why, because we're in love? I mean, because you fall in love all the time... men, women..."_

"_When are you gonna forgive me for not being a good enough lesbian for you?"_

"_When you do something to convince me that you're falling in love with me and not with being in love. When you do something to convince me that I'm different than George O'Malley, Erica Hahn, Mark Sloan or the girl at the coffee cart. I mean, you have a huge heart, and I love that about you. But I don't trust you. Why would I?"_

"_I don't wanna have kids if it means I can't be with you."_

"_We'll have kids. We'll have all kinds of kids... I can't live without you and our 10 kids."_

She twisted again, the sheets now completely wrapped around her voiding the other body of any warmth. As the cold air hit it sent shivering alarms to the brain. Piercing blue eyes adjusted to the darkness as they looked upon the whimpering bundle under the green sheets. Unsure whether or not to wake the dreaming woman, an arm was placed gently over a curvy hip and bodies fit together perfectly with hope that she could feel the presence and a sense of calm would ease the nightmares away.

"_You are ruining Africa for me"._

"_No I'm not."_

"_You are."_

"_Okay fine, I don't want to go to Africa, but I do want to be with you."_

"_You stay here and be happy. And I'll go there and be happy."_

"_If you get on that plane and go without me we are done. Do you hear me? We are over."_

"_We are standing in the middle of an airport screaming at each other. We are already over."_

"_My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy. I'm not playing hard to get. I don't want to see you because I turned my life upside down for you and you walked away because for a week I was cranky. You're untrustworthy, so I don't want to see you. You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you. I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back in my life again you will hurt me again, so I don't want to see you. This isn't a ploy. I'm not pouting. I don't want you in my life. Get your crap out of my apartment."_

"_Promise me, you won't let them take my leg!"_

"_I promise."_

The whimpering grew to almost strangled cries. Callie felt strong arms around her this time not caring to be quiet and gentle but to instead wake her, pull her from her torture. She felt herself get untangled from the sheets as she was begging her subconscious to let her escape back to reality; she knew what was coming yet she could not open her eyes in time to make it stop. She never could.

"_She's not though, she's not my wife…I don't know who she is. Did this happen with Cristina? It's like you're looking at her but there's nothing inside. It's like she's just this shell all the Arizona's been scooped out and she's just this shell now and I want her back and I don't think I'll ever get her back if we cut off that leg so, I'm going to save it. I've made a plan to save it."_

"_Callie, please don't run."_

"_What?"_

"_It's all been awful and I've been awful, but I'm starting to feel like myself again."_

"_She's dying"_

"_It's the leg"_

"_It's the leg"_

"_Cut it off"_

Callie could tell that she was being spoken too, soothing words trying to wake her. It had been happening more often than she could remember in the six years since her marriage met its untimelyruin. Always the same, time and again, her brain not letting her escape, reliving it over and over again…haunting her.

"_Hey is that…is that Arizona's ring pinned to your scrub top?"_

"_You weren't on the plane Callie. You weren't in the woods and you DID NOT hear Meredith crying for Lexie and Mark moaning in pain, or hear me scream in pain. You weren't there and you keep acting like you were and you weren't and it wasn't your experience."_

"_I lost Mark, you almost died!"_

"_I Lost Mark, YOU almost died. YOU WEREN'T ON THE FRICKEN PLANE! You want it the street cred, the badge of honor, the warrior wounds. Then great, stick out your leg and I will go get a bone saw and we'll even the score…!"_

"_It always comes back to the leg."_

"_I trusted you more than anybody, more than anyone in my life and you decided to cut it off.."_

"_TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!"_

"_You didn't lose anything! I did, I DID"_

"_Apparently I lost you."_

A sob broke free, tearing Callie violently from her psyche. She turned into the waiting arms, trying desperately to hide the sadness from her eyes as she looked into the baby blues only inches from her face. She gave a small, weak smile as she felt lips lightly kiss the tip of her nose. She felt the warm breath leave the sexy mouth as the calming words whispered in the darkness made their way to her ears relaxing her senses.

"Well since we are both awake and Barbara doesn't bring Sofia back till later tomorrow I think it would be a great idea if we took full advantage of this_ naked when small eye's aren't here rule_ that you do love to enforce. What do you say?"

Callie could only make what sounded like a mumbled yes as she felt the weight upon her thighs and the soft lips lightly brush her neck before, they continued their descent.

**Hello, My Name is ...the real Slim Shady!**

"So, wanna talk about these dreams that are terrorizing_ our_ sleep? They've been escalating all week long." Callie pulled the sheet covering her nude body tighter around her frame as she reached for her coffee mug trying hard not to physically cringe at the question. Was it cold in here? She felt cold and the sheet was doing little to warm her sweat-coated body from the chill in the air. Trying to avoid the question a moment longer, she ran her fingers through her tousled hair, the knots more than just sleep but nightmare hair mixed with sex hair too. Primping wasn't working as her hand kept getting caught giving her nothing to occupy herself any longer. She knew very well she had to come clean because this was important and she refused to keep secrets. There'd be no breaking of promises, no secrets, no walls this time around._ This time around._ That scared the crap out of Callie. She knew these dreams were in part because things were getting romantically serious for the first time since she left Seattle.

Dating had always been just something to keep her occupied when Sofia was out of town, never getting in too deep because she was scared what too deep would do to her.

"I, uh, I … Sofia's coming home." Callie couldn't form the right words.

"I know, we discussed in depth what we were going to tell her." The pause brought about matching smug grins on both faces. "About us."

"I know. I know. It's just the memories become painfully real anytime Arizona is back in the picture. I'm terrified I'm going to get that call from my daughter telling me she wants to stay in Seattle with her Mama instead of returning home, to me. And it makes me bitter. And it makes me scared." Callie paused taking in a deep breath. Communication Calliope Torres. You promised communication so here it goes, she psyched herself. "And you scare me so they're worse than usual. I … I am scared. Every time I've done this in the past it's always ended so poorly and I'm not sure I can handle another serious heartbreak. I love you. I do. Please know that but I also need a little time to get used to everything; these wounds never healed. We never … Arizona kicked me out of Seattle so fast I don't think the plane had landed before we were boarding it. And I'm scared that it all comes down to me, that I'm tainted and you're going to figure it out and walk away from me too."

"I love you, Callie. I'm in this for good and bad, ex-wife baggage included. Although this," Tony pulled the sheet down exposing Callie's breasts admiring them before shaking from the daydream. "Before this." Tony stopped again and lent over to tenderly kiss the on show nipple and was immediately pleased by the response of a moan before regaining balance, making eye contact so that Callie heard and saw that every word was the truth. "We have been friends for years and I know you...the person you are and enough of your past, I want to be here if you will let me." Tony paused a moment, collecting thoughts. "Maybe … have you ever thought about tying up loose ends with her? Getting closure? I don't want this to affect us if I can help you get past it." Callie looked up at the sympathetic eyes staring back at her. It had been so long that she had felt a calming relief just from a simple look of love. "I want to help you in any way that I can."

"Just give me the time to work through them; it's the only closure I'm entitled to anyway. I think that once Sofia meets you and we can move forward from that, they'll calm down. She's a mind of her own and you are the first person in her life that I've loved aside from her. I guess aside from everything, I'm scared of her reaction. And it's probably amplifying these stupid fucking dreams." Callie admitted. "I love you, Tony. And as much as that scares me, it excites me too."

"Hey, we'll be fine. I'm pretty great, your kid is going to eat me up. And the crap with your ex-wife, this is her loss. Look at you, the whole package Callie, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. This I Love You hump? The scary shit? We've reached it, we're over it. Those dreams are only screwing with you because you have no faith in yourself but I'm pretty wonderful so have faith in me and I'll worry about the rest."

"You're full of yourself, you know that, right?" Callie laughed feeling lighter and less worried over her fears. They were only natural but Tony's faith in her made them a little easier to swallow.

**Not The Mama **

"I don't wanna go! I just got home and haven't seen you all summer. I wanna spend my day with _only _you, Mommy." Sofia stood in her mother's doorway arms crossed sporting a less than amusing scowl.

They'd been having this argument for two days and for two days Callie couldn't get her daughter to see this as a good thing. Sofia threw tantrums, tried to get herself in trouble and grounded in order to get this meeting canceled; she even faked feeling sick but Callie wasn't having any of it. She punished Sofia's antics with taking away television time, outright refusing to give in and ground her. She had her colleague give her a physical and only when she was threatened with the idea of having to get a shot for her fake illness did she recant her sick story. And as the tantrums were ignored it only fueled Sofia's attempts. Callie was certain Arizona didn't have to put up with this shit from their daughter with her dating life and she wasn't going to take it herself. She was allowed to date. She was allowed to be happy. Maybe it was her fault, she hadn't dated anybody with Sofia's knowledge thus far; maybe she should have introduced the idea years ago to warm Sofia up for a serious relationship and possibly more. But Callie wasn't going to cave, they were doing this.

"Sofia, please. It means a lot to me, you meeting Tony. Remember what I told you? That your Mama will never ever be replaced. I loved your Mama very much but Baby, Tony is very special to me and I want the two of you to meet. You know Mommy has never asked you something so important so please can you be the big girl that I know you are and finish getting dressed." Callie sighed as she watched her daughter exit the room in a full on temper tantrum stomp but not before she got her last words in, hitting Callie directly where intended, right in the heart.

"I've just got home from being with Mama and you're forcing me to forget her already. You're trying to replace her. I won't let you." Sofia slammed the door on the way to her room and grabbed her phone. She wasn't having this, she had been used to having to interfere with Mama's love life out in Seattle but here, with Mommy, she hadn't even realized there had been anyone. She just knew that her moms still loved each other but she also realized that if her mother was introducing her to this new person then it was serious. Sofia Torres had to step up her game and test her acting skills.

**Liar Liar Pants on Fire**

"Please can you get my Mama!" Sofia begged the woman, making certain to cry hard and loud on the telephone knowing that the voice on the other line was probably a scrub nurse. Somebody else answering Mama's cell could only be for that reasoning.

Young sobbing filled the quiet OR causing Arizona to look up at the nurse holding the phone.

She knew those tears; she knew them very well. "Sofia calm down, I'm in the middle of surgery and I need you to breathe and tell me what's going on. Are you hurt?"

"Yessss." Sofia sobbed into the speaker phone.

"What? Where are you hurt? Where's Mommy?" Arizona pleaded with her daughter for answers.

"It's not me."

"Then what's wrong Sofia?" Arizona took a deep breath before continuing. "Where's Mommy? Is she hurt? Where's Gramma? Sofia, what's going on?" Arizona started to panic so much that Cristina, assisting her in the surgery, nudged the peds surgeon aside taking over for a few moments until Arizona could calm down.

"Mommy's ... Mommy's ..." Sofia hiccuped through her sobs. "Mommy's getting married."

The words echoed through the quiet operating room. "What?" Arizona stuttered pushing Cristina aside and resuming on the young girl on the table.

"Mommy's getting married. She's ... she's getting married to a poo poo head. Tony. The poo poo head is Tony." Sofia cried harder.

A quick silence followed as Arizona's breath caught in her throat."Sofia, Mommy's allowed to get married. You want her happy don't you?" Arizona remained calm even if her heart was

shattering into a million pieces for her daughter ... and her own loss.

"No. She can't. She ... I need you, Mama." Sofia begged.

"Sweetie, you will be fine. I'm in surgery but I will call you when I get out and we'll talk about this, okay? This isn't the end of the world, baby. Go wash your face and read for a while and I'll call you back." Arizona tried to reason with her daughter knowing this was not the time or place for such a conversation.

"Please come. I need you. You have to come, Mama. You can't …" Sofia smiled into the phone through her tears. Her constant eavesdropping had finally come in handy. Nobody ever suspected her of this ability so neither her parents or grandparents went out of their way to converse out of her range. Without her device it wasn't an issue but just because she wasn't supposed to wear it at night didn't mean there weren't times she would put it in anyway especially close to her birthday or Christmas. She'd never heard about fun surprises or her holiday presents but here, this had been in her arsenal for quite a while. "You can't abandon me, Mama."

Arizona inhaled audibly. Sofia. Hit. The. Mark. Arizona's biggest fears. Wasn't this what she cried to her mother over and over about since the divorce? Wasn't this exactly what she feared she'd done all those years before?

Cristina looked from the obvious heart broken peds surgeon to the nurse holding the phone and back again before her mind was made up. Stripping off her gloves, she grabbed the phone taking it off speaker.

"Hey Little Doc, it's Aunt Cristina. Your mom and I will be there in three days. You just keep calm and we'll see you then."

Arizona shot a glare up in Cristina's direction but before she could object, Cristina hung up the phone.

"Cristina!" Arizona yelled as she clipped the sutures, finishing up on their patient. "You can't do that. Why did you tell her we'd be there? We have work and this is something she needs to work out with Callie. I can't go over there and tell my ex-wife she can't get remarried."

Arizona growled trying hard to reign in her anger and stop the scene being made in front of everybody in the OR.

"Yes we can." Cristina smiled.

"No, no we can't. Now I get to call_ my_ daughter back and make everything ten times worse than it already is for her. Thanks_ Dr. Yang_."

"Yes. We. Can. We own the hospital and because technically I'm still your boss as I own more of this hospital than you do and that's my goddaughter crying and needing us to come out there, we're going to go. You don't have to stop Callie from marrying somebody else and ruining your daughter's life for good. So what if Sofia gets another mama that's around her all the time and might take your role from you. She might not love her more than you."

Cristina dared Arizona to argue with her. She didn't often use her position on the board to get her way but when she did everybody knew they couldn't argue.

**Tigress Sofia and Her Pretty New Claws**

Sofia smiled as she put her mobile into her bag. Finishing tidying herself up, she quickly changed into her dress that Arizona had bought her along with the matching shoes. She was just finishing buckling the strap when she heard the doorbell ring. She rolled her eyes when she clearly heard the rambling Spanish come from her nervous mother.

Quietly moving to the crack of her door she watched as Callie straightened her clothes before she opened the front door and embraced the person who entered. Securing a sweet smile on her face she entered the living room with a small skip seeing her Mommy happy was great but it wasn't her Mama.

"Hello you must be Sofia. Aren't you pretty!" Tony spoke quietly, nerves apparent in the accented voice.

"Huh? What was that you...Mommy?" Sofia scrunched her eyes up and looked at her mother. Who scowled at her for being rude. "What, I didn't hear the mumble." Sofia softened her expression.

"Hi, you must be Sofia. Don't you look pretty." This time Tony didn't croak, speaking louder.

"You like it?" Sofia beamed doing a curtsy to show off her dress. "My_ mama_ bought it for me. She lives in Seattle but she's gonna move here one day so we can be a family again." She smirked at the stranger.

"Sofia Robbin!" Callie growled at her daughter. "You are out of line."_ I'm sorry._ She turned and mouthed to Tony who replied with a smile and short head shake telling her it was unnecessary.

"Your Mommy has told me so much about you, I feel like I already know you."

"Hmm it's funny Mommy has never mentioned you." Sofia continued smiling sweetly as Callie closed her eyes and rubbed her brow. Tony saw this and took Callie's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze telling Callie not to worry. This was the type of reaction they all expected.

"Seriously that is a beautiful dress you have on…and those shoes I can see your Mama has great fashion sense." Tony tried taking the compliment route again including her Mama in conversation. However Sofia had enough experience with Arizona's dating and knew that this was probably how their introduction was going to go. All conversations with adults revolved around what you had on, telling you how pretty you were, and this was just playing into her plan to make Tony as uncomfortable as possible.

"Thank you. My Mama is so_ awesome._ She bought it for me while I was with her this summer. It's beautiful, she really does have awesome taste. I'm sure my Mommy has mentioned her, she's a baby surgeon …she saves babies._ Nobody_ is as awesomer as her." Sofia threw a glare over her shoulder in Callie's direction before making her way over to her doll's house in the corner turning her back on and ending all conversation with adults.

"Tony, do you want to take a seat for a moment I just have a few more things to do before we leave. Sofia," She hollered over her shoulder in a tone of voice that was one not to be argued with. "Get Tony a can of soda please." Callie could see the uneasiness in the clear blue eyes, thinking that if Tony had something to concentrate on then the nervousness would ease. Callie offered a small smile as she watched Sofia spin and make her way into the kitchen.

"Remember, she doesn't bite and she'll love you like I do." Giving Tony a quick peck, Callie made her way to her room to finish getting her stuff together.

"So Sofia, did you have fun at your Mama's this summer? Your Mommy sure missed you. She talked about you non-stop. And your Mama too. Lots and lots. I'm actually a surgeon myself and am well aware of your Mama's reputation. She is a pretty awesome baby doctor." Sofia listened as well as she could Tony's voice just reaching her as she pulled the step over to the fridge and pulled out a can. "I think we can be friends, I'm not here to replace your Mama. I'm here because your Mommy is very special to me." Rolling her eyes Sofia looked at the can in her hands before smiling cheekily and shaking the can as best she could making as little sound possible. Walking over to Tony she handed the can over before going back to playing with her dolls house in the corner.

Callie was just picking her bag off her bed when she heard the gas escape from the can and the sound of it spraying everywhere. Hurrying to the door she witnessed Sofia giggling in the corner, Tony stood with drenched clothes.

"I'm really sorry, I dropped the can in the kitchen and I thought it would be okay." Sofia feigned innocence. "Oh look you're all wet and sticky. You better just go home and get changed." Sofia watched as Tony replicated the sweet smile she projected before looking at Callie.

"How about we just order in?" Tony stood shaking arms out to rid the majority of the liquid and all with a sweet and fake smile; Sofia's face fell flat, it looked as though getting rid of Tony was going to take a little more. "I still have some of my clothes here from when I stayed last week. Would it be alright to grab a shower?" Tony again smiled, a bit more relaxed, this time to try ease the panic seen on Callie's features before turning back to Sofia staring straight at her in almost a battle of wills. "Sofia. Why don't you tell your Mommy what kind of pizza you would like and we can just have a nice night in. Maybe watch a movie, get your favorite ice cream. It's my treat. Callie, you know my choice." Tony walked past Callie and gave her a kiss on the cheek and whispered that everything was fine.

Once Tony left the room Callie scowled at her daughter who just passed the look off.

"Mommy I would love mint choc chip...with sprinkles, oh chocolate and the rainbow ones." Sofia smiled sweetly and went back to playing with her dolls house. When she knew her mother couldn't see her face she let her smile melt, she had to step this up.


	3. Eeny Meeny Miny HO

**A/N **This has taken a little longer than we had hoped but we are back now. The response to this story has been more than we had expected and you are all very great. Thank you to those who have taken the time to read and to review. It's nice to read what people think and we love hearing from you. We just want to say that we know what we want to do in this story and have an end plan and a majority of it IS already written. This _is _a Callie and Arizona story, there's no doubt about that. And we can't give you all the answers straight away or it's not worth writing. It'd be very short, dull chapters and not worth reading. Everything will come together in the end so stick with us please and thank you again.

Thank you to Zoe who beta'd this for us and Gene you're both awesome. We know you both have been really busy and we appreciate all you do for us. Please we hope you enjoy. Sadie & Nic

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**Chapter 3: Eeny Meeny Miny HO **

**Summer Rain Was Pouring Down**

As her back hit the wall, she felt hands roaming above the material hungrily trying to find flesh. It was hurried, lips were sloppy and rushed. She started to feel trapped, her heart racing out of control, the wall not allowing her escape. Pulling herself away from the attacking mouth she managed to move her head to the side as she slid along the wall directing them to her door.

"Abby…" Arizona's neck automatically leaned into the embrace as she felt her skin reconnect with the lips. Closing her eyes she wanted to feel, but nothing as usual…just numb. "Abby … stop please, I think we should say goodnight." Abby stopped what she was doing to look into the sad blue eyes.

"Oh. I thought we were having fun?" Abby gave Arizona a teasingly, sexy smile.

"We were. We are …I'm just really tired and it's been a long day at the hospital." Arizona lied. She actually had the day off. It had been a couple of days since Sofia left and after her daughters surprise phone call she just wanted to try make her brain stop. She wanted to stop thinking, so when she got a call from Abby asking if she wanted to go out for a drink she thought it would be a good way to try and stop thinking about Callie.

"Do you want me to come in and help you relax…" Abby tried to move in for a kiss again but Arizona managed to find the handle of her door, twisting it hoping and praying that Karev was still there. As the door opened flying backwards and the supporting surface disappeared, Arizona felt herself falling into the surprised arms of her colleague who had came to investigate the scratching at the door.

"Robbins, I thought you were gone for the night?" Karev watched as Arizona gave him a look that could kill. "Oh well, while you're here I could really use your help with something?" Karev quicly spat out as he could read _help_ clearly in her eyes.

"Yeah…really! I'll be right there. Abby I'm sorry," Arizona hunched her shoulders in an apologetic expression. "Work issues, you know how it is."

"Oh okay, well you know where I'll be if you want to hook up." Abby leant over giving Arizona a final lingering kiss and whispered in her ear as she backed off. "Call me sometime, Sexy?"

As Arizona closed the door she rested her back against the door as it shut.

"You owe me!" Karev picked up his stuff and began shuffling it into his bag.

"You don't have to go, I'll just go into my room. I told you that it was fine to prepare for your presentation here. I know that Yang is driving you crazy just now." Arizona walked over to hang her jacket up.

"Dude it's fine, I've finished what I need to. Yang's getting ready for your flight tomorrow I suggest you wind down and some sleep too." Alex smiled at his mentor as he watched her face scrunch up in nerves from her impending flight. "You'll be fine." He squeezed her shoulder before leaving her standing in the room alone.

After locking up for the night, she moved into the bedroom taking a quick glance at the packed suitcase sitting in the corner ready for the next days journey. What was she doing? Was she really flying all the way to Pennsylvania for her daughter or was it the fact that Callie was moving on. How dare she…how dare she be annoyed that Callie was happy.

"I let you go…I _made _you go!" Arizona reminded herself as she stripped down to her underwear and climbed under her covers.

She tried to sleep. Squeezing her eyes shut, she counted sheep. She made pre-flight lists. She tried everything but sleep wouldn't come. Going to her fallback plan to get to sleep, she slid her hand between her legs but ... nothing causing her to quickly abanon her attempts; she had just been out with a beautiful woman. She had met Abby at a bar, and had gone out with her a few times. She was funny and sexy, had a habit of saying the most inappropriately dirty things…but she made Arizona laugh. It was nice to have the contact, the comfort in another persons embrace but Arizona felt nothing. She had spent the better part of an hour getting hot and heavy with the woman who definitely knew what she was doing... yet nothing, not a bit of arousal. It's scary how your brain can affect you, you would think a touch, a kiss can open the floodgates, but nothing. Arizona had been used to feeling nothing, ever since _her_. That was the last time she had managed release with another person and even then it wasn't anything that Boswell had done because Arizona used her, she had control. It was all Arizona. She made the first move, she topped her and then she left her lying there wanting more.

When Arizona started to date again and the time came that she needed some connection other than just physical, she found that she couldn't feel even when she did take control. Whether it be guilt or Karma as Arizona told herself, her head was just not in the game. She had lost count of the number of dates she had been on that at the end of the night had resulted in her getting off by her own hand. It was almost a pleasure-pain experience. She didn't know why she did it, maybe it was just to feel something, _anything_ at all.

It has to be said that when a person needs a lubricant there has to be something wrong because if you're truly in the right mind frame your body does all that is needed. In the beginning, she found she would just use her fingers with lubricant but she could keep going for hours and still nothing would give her release. She was at her wits end, she just needed to feel something and the first time she used her vibrator in this way it had been that the need was greater than the build up and found herself keeping the vibrations direct on her clit; it was painful and enjoyable in equal measures. She just wanted it quick, to feel...something. With the addition of two fingers pushed deep, no movement, her muscles tightened pulling them deeper. As the pulse from her clit began to throb from the vibrations she turned her fingers slowly lightly brushing the patch of soft silk that sent her crashing down, her body jolting in pleasure and pain. Tears fell but not from the pain, it was for the simple fact that she was not broken and that gave her hope.

When she had walked into her room that was what she was going to do, she needed to relax. All frustrated and full of tension, but looking at the suitcase reminded why she was going. Callie. That night she went to sleep with Callie very much in her mind. Her exhausted mind finally drifted quicker than she had in awhile at these thoughts. She was safe, where she wanted to be in Callie's arms. The sensation of ghosted fingertips traced up her arm, to her neck and then down her back. Lips played lightly on exposed skin, Arizona found herself softly moaning as she continued to feel Callies touch, remembering how it was. Hazily she brought her own hand to feel the lace material of her bra. Rolling her fingertips over the top she made connection with a painfully hard nipple. Shifting her body as she hissed, biting her lip as she felt the heat at her thighs.

Starting to stir, her moans intensified as she continued to be more aware of what she was thinking about. Callie's lips teasing her body, the cool air nipping at the wet areas left by the beautiful woman. Bringing her fingers slowly down to her waist she sucked in air as the tips made contact with the moisture as her hand disappeared under the rim.

"Oh God, Callie I need you!" Arizona shakily breathed out as she slid her fingers in to feel the soft flesh that instantly wanted more. Bringing her head back, arching into the pillow, fists clenching the sheets underneath trying to get the right angles.

"Oh baby, please...Callie." Her fingers dove deeper, thrusting in a steady rhythm making contact with her engorged clit. Starting to feel that pulse almost twitch sensation, that builds...intensifies with every thrust she started to feel herself come undone. She couldn't keep the movement going as her orgasm took hold, as she came down from the height she had just climbed Arizona sobbed, tears ran down her face and as her body released her hand she rolled over onto her side trying to take any comfort that the duvet could bring her.

"I made her go..."

**Polly Put the Kettle On...**

"Dr. Torres, the babysitter has dropped your daughter off and she's been taken to the cafeteria. His Royal Highness is feeding her sweets and sitting with her until you can join them." The small nurse stood at the door and spoke through her mask she was holding up at her mouth.

"Thank you Polly, just finishing. Dr. Fisher would you mind closing for me. Monitor the post-ops and let me know when Mrs. Fenton wakes up. I'll be in the cafeteria if anyone needs me urgently." Callie turned to her resident and watched as his eyes lit up at the opportunity she was giving to him. Polly held the door open for Callie as she made her way toward her to scrub out.

"Soooooo Dr. Torres." She teased. "I heard someone was being treated to a fancy pants dinner tonight." Polly smiled brightly at Callie who began to laugh.

"Yeah, being wined and dined, a girl could just get used to it … and maybe a little '_somethin' somethin' _later," Callie chuckled and raised her eyebrows as Polly faked a shocked face. "Just need to finish my shift. Barbara's going to sit in with Sofia tonight." Polly was Callie's personal PA. A few years ago Callie won the prestigious Sarish Dolowaward for her work with cartilage repair and regeneration. The treatment of cartilage injuries remains one of the most difficult challenges in medicine and the hospital gave Callie assistance in hopes to placate her needs here as she was sought after by even better hospitals. She was starting to need someone to do the less important tasks of her job and in came Polly her very own Physician's Assistant. The woman was easy to talk to and they often spoke in the OR and out eventually leading to a strong friendship. They were of similar ages, held the same taste in music, and her son was in the same class as Sofia so it was easy that their kids became best friends too.

"I must admit I'm jealous as hell. That's some set up you have there. I wish my ex's Mom would babysit as much as yours." Polly scoffed.

"I know, I love Barbara to bits. I don't think I would have ever been able to make this work here without her. Both of my in-laws, ex-in-laws are a blessing. Barb allows me to get on with my work here and she flies with Sofia back and forth between here and Seattle. She's not my mother and she has no blood ties to Sofia but yet she continues to be this shining light. Never any questions asked or judgements passed." Callie sighed as she turned the tap off and Polly threw her a towel. "She's going to pick Sofia from here at five thirty, she had an appointment to attend. I already spoke to the Chief and she said it's fine for Sof to hang around as long as she _behaves _this time."

"Yeah I think the Chief is pretty awesome, working mothers unite." Polly laughed. "Just wanted to say have a _goooooood_ night and try to have fun Dr. Torres, let your hair down and you can tell me all the good stuff in surgery tomorrow. Zac's back at school so I'm back on your rotation full-time."

Callie watched as Polly disappeared out of the scrub room. Looking at her watch she realized that ten minutes had passed, gathering the rest of her stuff together she left the room also.

**The King and I**

"Mommy!" Callie smiled as she saw her daughter bounding toward her arms out getting ready to leap. When she was close enough she jumped into her mothers arms and held on tight.

"How are you doing my little minion, has His Highness been feeding you sugar again?" Callie laughed as she saw the large brown eyes of her daughter looking at her, excitement very much present.

"Maybe a little." Sofia held her hand up pinching her fingers together showing her mother her version of a small amount. "We are going to have so much fun tonight. The teacher taught us a new song today and I'm gonna teach you." Sofia clapped her hands excitedly.

"Oh Baby, it will have to be another night. Gramma's coming to get you before my shift ends. Tony's taking me out tonight because we never got out the other night, remember? We discussed this. I'm going to go grab something quick for my lunch, do you want ice cream? Have you actually eaten real food yet?" Callie looked over to witness the last of a sugar donut coating far from innocent looking male lips.

"I had pasta shapes." Sofia watched as that answer was accepted by her mother as she turned toward the salad bar. Sofia slammed herself down on the bench unhappy at the news that her mother was ditching her for Tony.

"Cheer up Kid, give your mom a break. She's been really busy lately and deserves some free time. That's why I'm covering for her and unless something major happens she shall go to the ball … right?" He could see Sofia sitting there fuming that she did not have her mother's undivided attention, _again_. He was unaware that Callie was making her way back to the table until he heard both his pager and Callie's sound. Rolling his eyes at the annoying noise Sofia watched as he pulled out the little black box. She had seen her mother's one when it sat on her dresser but to be honest, paid it very little attention. It had no games on it so she didn't care.

"Ortho consult, I got it." Callie sang cheerfully, her excitement for seeing Tony tonight grew as it had been a few days since the awkward Sofia meeting, and because of both schedules, stolen glances were all they had managed. "Would you mind taking Sofia around to my office? The TV and some games are in there to keep her occupied. I'll get this one, since you're doing me a favor tonight." Callie smiled at her friend as she reached for the last doughnut he shoved it into his mouth greeting Callie with a sparkled sugar smile.

Once Sofia saw Callie had left. She smiled sweetly. "Your Majesty, what's that?" She pointed at the pager.

"It's a pager Princess Sof. It tells us where and when we are needed."

"How does it work?" She asked picking it up and looking intently at it; she of course knew what it was but how it worked was her real angle here.

"Well there are different codes, so if someone needs someone from Ortho then they send a message to this box and everyone else with an ortho code. We all have our own code so if someone wanted to contact just me they would enter my code and then a short message like 911 the pit. 911 means its urgent and the pit is the Emergency Room where traumas come in and need immediate attention..."

"So how do you know all the different people's codes, that would be really confusing!" Sofia acted daft. She was raised by Callie Torres and Arizona Robbins, there was no way she was anything but a brilliant child but daft got her what she wanted; pure manipulation was the name of her game.

"Oh, it can be really confusing trying to remember all the different ones but I know your mommy's off by heart. But the nurses keep a list at their station." Sofia smiled at this information as she watched what pocket the pager disappeared into.

"I'm ready to watch some TV now please ... piggy back ride for the princess, Your Majesty." Sofia giggle as she was scooped up and the two made their way from the cafeteria.

**911...What's your Emergency**

Sofia sat in her mother's office, she had lined herself up so that it looked as though she was watching the television but she was watching the nurses' station. Looking down into her lap she looked at the pager she had acquired from his pocket. Now all she needed was Polly to leave the desk so she could go find the list. There was an alarm from one of the rooms and Sofia watched as Polly took off down the hall, random people left the hall too. It was time to make her move. Running over to the desk she found the laminated sheet titled: Pager Codes. Taking down the code next to her mother's name on a piece of paper, she took down some of the abbreviated words like the 911 she had been told.

Getting herself settled back into the office, Sofia sent a '911 the pit' message to her mother and then began the coloring book her mother had laying around just for her in her office.. Twenty minutes passed when she heard her mother's voice.

"Do you know who paged me to the Pit? I got a 911 to go down there and no one's owning up to it." Callie watched as Polly shook her head, she almost growled as her pager went off again with the same 911 page, this time to OR 4.. Callie spun on her heels and marched off down the hall. Sofia smiled, this was definitely going to keep her mom busy and a busy Dr. Torres meant there'd be no ball for her tonight.

Sofia was sitting quietly, she knew that her Gramma would be here for her soon. Looking to the clock on the wall her attention was taken as her very pissed off mother came charging toward the nurses station with The Royal Asshole Himself, in her sights.

"Really, do you not know how to answer your fricken pager, I thought you were helping me out?" Callie growled as her pager went off again and she threw it at her colleague. "I'm done, not going on anymore wild goose chases around the fricken hospital...your turn pal!"

"Sorry Torres, I must have misplaced my pager." He patted down his pockets coming up empty. "Look give me yours for now." Looking down at his watch he noted the time. "It's thirty minutes till both of your shifts are finished, go I got this." Callie almost yelped as she wrapped her arms around him before taking off, uncharacteristically, giddily skipping in a very un-badass way, down the hall shouting thank you in her trail of excitement of her impending evening.

Sofia huffed, as she looked down at the pager she realised that she had turned it over. She smirked as she saw that there was two codes stuck to the back by tape. One was her mothers the other was Tony's. Typing in the code and then 911 the pit, Sofia smiled. This game had just gone into overtime.

**Sofia for the Win...**

Sitting charting, he was concentrating hard on his notes and didn't notice Callie standing at the desk with her face tripping her. After a minute, Callie slumped her body down on the chair next to him giving him the fright of his life. She laughed when the yelp left his mouth.

"Callie! What the fuck? Why are you not gone yet?" He tried to steady his heart rate back down to an acceptable level.

"Tony got paged to the pit; turns out that a HUGE trauma came in and now my date is elbows deep in some roofer's gut. I'm just up to get Sofia, I phoned Barbara and told her she didn't have to come. Looks like I have super fantastic plans of listening to a crazy cat dying in a oven all night!" Callie huffed.

"You don't have a cat?" He looked confused, it had been a long day and his head wasn't playing the game.

"My daughter doofus...she appears to have got her fathers vocal cords and his singing ability left a lot to be desired. Okay, I'm going to get my daughter before I never get to leave."

Sofia tried not to look happy that it was Callie taking her home and when the were passing the nurses station Sofia ran up to say her goodbyes.

"Your Majesty, you dropped this in Mommy's office, I found it under the chair." Sofia passed him his pager and gave him a sweet smile as Callie shook her head and snatched her own pager from the desk and walked away. "Goodnight Your Majesty!"

**Cristina and The Case Of The Carry-on Luggage**

"I have never been so mortified in my entire life." Arizona still sat head in her hands as she felt Cristina sit down next to her. She heard the glass slide along the table stopping as the cold glass hit the skin on the back of her hand. "Really Cristina why would you tell Sofia we were coming? No wonder I haven't flown since..."

"Oh my God, that was the funniest thing I've seen in ages. I seriously thought you were going to hit him with it." Cristina snickered as she took a drink from one of several glasses she had sat down on the table. Arizona looked up through squinted eyes showing that she did not find the same humor in it and downed the glass at her hands. "Though that man was an asshole; personally I would have hit him with it if I had one. Now drink up this will settle your nerves. Last time you were on one of these _'aaaaaaaaaaah' _" Cristina made a signal with her hands mocking the crash, pretty much the same way you would when feeding a child with the pretend aircraft spoon. Her hand continued onto her next glass as she downed that in one gulp.

"You really are twisted. You only had to remove your shoes and belt, that wasn't a hardship. I thought they didn't do that… I thought they had something that can scan you or something. It was embarrassing enough having to take it off but getting me to stand there balancing like a freak while everyone watched. That was just mean." Taking another glass and drinking the contents, Arizona looked over to Cristina whom started laughing again.

"You had to be wearing a pink shirt too because all I could see with you balancing there was a flamingo. It's your own fault Miss Peppy if you hadn't of tried to make a joke about carrying explosives in your leg then you wouldn't have had to go through the added swab checks. Now drink up because of your freak-out at security the plane will be boarding soon." Cristina took her third drink and drank it down without even a grimace as the alcohol burned her throat. Reaching over she took Arizona's third and fourth drinks and mixed them into the one glass. "Here drink this and then you'll need that last one to take the taste of it away." Cristina pointed to the last drink as her words began to slur. Watching as Arizona did what she was told she planted two hands on the table and began to lift herself before stopping and looking at Arizona quizzically. "Wait, have you ever walked on that thing drunk before…I can get you a luggage trolley because there's no way in hell I'm carrying your drunk ass."

"Oh Ha Ha, I'll have you know I'm an expert, had plenty of practice in walking mind numbingly drunk since I fucked up my life." Arizona drank the last of her drinks trying not to gag like one does at the endof nasty drinks…but she failed sticking out her tongue in disgust. "That was revolting, are you finally going to make your move with alcohol poisoning? I always thought that when you found out what I did to Callie you'd, I don't know…stab me with a scalpel." Arizona hiccuped as she looked at Cristina who was still mulling over the revelation that Arizona had drank to ease her sorrow.

Cristina was Callie's friend, she liked nothing more than winding the peppy peds surgeon up but she made Callie happy and she had a good working relationship with her so she was okay in her book. When Callie came to her and asked her to buy her shares from her and not to ask any questions, Cristina could see the hurt in her friends eyes and she never pushed the subject. Cristina was perceptive enough to have figured it out, and she knew Callie's past; she knew how much crap Callie had taken over her decision to remove the leg and she knew that the rumor mill was wrong about the golden couple just not being able to get over it. Maybe it was the fact that Owen had done it to her that she somehow knew, but she either way, she that Callie would only ever give Arizona up for one reason. Callie never did tell her and she kept the conversation with Arizona professional while everything was going on. When she made her dig in the boardroom about Callie she had intentionally done it to gauge Arizona response. She had wanted Arizona to fight for Callie, but the woman packed her off to Pennsylvania. At first she had thought it was so she could have her relationship with the home wrecker and she hated her, Cristina was losing one of her best friends. Eventually, watching Arizona hide within her work, she didn't seem to have a life out of the hospital. Removing herself from her emotions where the blonde was concerned she actually saw what Arizona had done, she had given Callie a reason to live and move on and she could see that it hurt her but she didn't think that she drank to numb herself.

"You did a stupidly bad thing Arizona, doesn't make you a bad person. What makes you a stupid person is that it's taken you this long plus the threat of Tony with his big manly man arms holding the love of your life to spur you into life again." Starting to walk away she didn't wait for Arizona who was trying to shuffle herself from between the table and chair.

"I'm doing this for Sofia _only, _Cristina…and Tony could be a woman, Sofia only said a name…So…so be quiet." Arizona managed to catch up with the woman as the both made their way to the boarding gate.

"Yeah, _sure _you are. You still love her Arizona you're just stupid, actually you're both just stupid. You're both bull headed, standing waving red at each other instead of actually having a grown up conversation. I locked Owen in with me and no matter how much it hurt he told me everything, we talked we got over it. Okay, we didn't last because I can't give him what he wanted, but we talked and we are still friends." Cristina stopped just before she reached the air attendant's desk and turned to face Arizona. "Look, we'll go if you have no feelings for Callie, that's fine, we are going to support your daughter. But maybe the two of you can finally talk to each other; if Callie is serious about this man then you have to make a decision."

"Oh my God Cristina, I haven't seen her in years…what can I say to her? Why did it have to be a man? I shouldn't be annoyed by that, I let her go. This is my punishment. I never deserved her. I've hurt her time after time. I can't do this, I can't see her. Everything is going to come rushing back, oh God I think I might hyperventilate…I can't get on the plane. What if it crashes and I don't survive this time and I never get to tell her I'm sorry." Drunkenly rambling, Arizona started to panic as Cristina grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the attendant's desk.

"Hello there... will there be alcohol on this flight and can I buy ear plugs?" Turning to catch Arizona shake her head and roll her eyes as the girl at the desk said yes to both, Cristina turned back around to face the girl with a slight smirk on her face.

"Now, does the leg go down as carry-on luggage?"


	4. Agent 666: Cristina Yang reporting for

A/N: Thank you again for all the reviews, we really love hearing from people. We love that we're keeping you on your toes with guessing but don't look so hard for answers, they'll come about soon enough. Also remember, they're fictional characters with fictional lives ... they don't need anymore drama added to their stories so keep the hateful attacks on fictional characters down to a minimum, yeah? Thank you. This is the last update until next week, we hope you enjoy and have a great weekend.

Thank you to my ever growing family of happy betas always keeping me in check. Get it... check? Haha, cuz they check my work. Haha. Okay, lame. ... Thank you our newest grammar junkie Shinata-Riyoko and as always Zoe & Gene.

Nic & Sadie

* * *

**Chapter 4 Agent 666: Cristina Yang Reporting For Duty...**

**Nobody. Calls. Me. Chicken.**

"Arizona! Will you _please _unlock the door? You'd better not be doing what I think you're doing." Cristina stood, banging her fist against the hardwood, panelled door. The door shook on its hinges, but did not open. Right now, she was glad, as the thought of having to watch the blonde say a prayer to the porcelain God of stupidity; well it wasn't really top of her list of priorities. "Look knock twice for dead, ten times for alive." Cristina snickered when there was just one big thud of something being thrown at the door in annoyance. "I'll take that as alive?"

Cristina threw herself on the bed, having a quick look around the room. "I can't believe they fucked up our booking. I'm phoning down to reception." Cristina yelled before picking up the phone and pressing 0 to connect directly to the front desk. "I know you wanted this; you did it on purpose because _you want me_. I know I'm hot, but the only thing getting into these very tight pants tonight is my little battery operated friend." Cristina laughed again as something else hit the door as she waited for someone to answer her call.

"Yes, good evening to you too. I'm hoping you can help me. I'm in room 265 ... yes the room is fine. No, no problems with the room itself, but we were supposed to get _two _rooms." Cristina rolled her eyes as she heard the rehearsed excuses leave the receptionist's mouth. Painting on a smile that forced her change in voice to more upbeat, she started talking again. She had found, through many hotel stays for various conferences, that staying firm but pleasant was the way to deal with people who couldn't see your less than amused stare. "Oh okay, I understand that you are overbooked, but I have the booking receipt right here and it clearly says that we have paid for two adjoiningrooms. This is your establishment's fault, and I will be expecting a full refund of the missing room's cost, as well as several discounts for _your_ mistake." Cristina listened to the apologies from the receptionist, while she heard the bathroom door unlock. She lowered her voice. "Thank you so much. Also please, could you call this room every thirty minutes starting at 4 A.M. through to 9 A.M. tomorrow morning for wake-up calls? Excellent, thank you very much." Cristina hung up, as she took in the dishevelled looking woman now holding herself steady against the doorframe.

"Why are you okay? You drank more than I did _and _had more on the plane." Arizona held her hand to her mouth, as she felt the remainder of her stomach contents still trying to escape. She knew that it wasn't just the alcohol. One part alcohol consumption, one part fear of flying, mix that together with the prospect of seeing Callie again, and you get one turbulent tsunami just waiting to take out everything in its path.

"Listen, obviously you're being a _wimp_, and now we can't get another room. They've double booked. So, I was just thinking that since you are a _chicken_," Cristina was enjoying the jabs; they were supposed to be encouraging in her twisted way, but Arizona might just be too far sick to get her underlying points. "Since you'd rather sit here and pout in the room, and that's not something I can or want to deal with, I thought I'd go stay at Callie's. She loves my company, and that way I get to test the water. I'll go in behind enemy lines and see what this new fiancé is like. I'll report back to you. I always thought I'd be an awesome spy...but don't think I'm taking a bullet for you, if Callie suspects anything, I'm telling her you put me up to it."

"You can't tell her I'm here!" She was already panicking and didn't need Cristina to make things worse. "Mom doesn't even know I'm here, if she did she wouldn't be able to not tell Callie. I'm not ready for her to know yet, I'm not ready." Arizona clearly looked petrified. Cristina actually did feel sorry for the other woman, but only for a second as she lay herself down next to Cristina.

"Ew, you smell like a hooker's thong!" Cristina rolled Arizona away from her, which resulted in the sound of a groan almost growl, as the motions of the bed caused her stomach to roll again. "Listen, relax, and get some sleep, I've asked reception not to disturb. It's nine o'clock here, so I'll just grab a taxi and get straight to Callie's and of course, straight to bed for me too, that flight has taken it out of me. I'll call you once you are refreshed in the morning." Cristina smirked.

Before Cristina grabbed her suitcase she moved over to Arizona and switched on the bedside table lamp, she noticed that Arizona was out as a drunken snore left her throat. Making her way to Arizona's phone she took down Callie's address, almost waking Arizona with her laughter as she repeated the door number 2469. Two for Sixty-nine? It didn't get any better than that.

"Priceless!"

**Don't It Always Seem To Go That You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone**

"Do you want me to go pick up Princess for you from Barb's. We can get pizza and beers…watch a bit of football that I taped earlier and then when the little princess is frolickingin her unicorn cave we can have some real fun?" Callie watched as the cocky grin was joined by a wiggle of his thick, but well sculpted eyebrows.

"While that could be a wonderful evening, Lover, the little tyke is actually staying at Barbara's tonight. After the failed date attempts of the last few days I needed a break and a drink so she's keeping her for a bit of relief for me. So I can totally see kicking your ass at pool being in our immediate future?" Callie picked up a cushion from the sofa and threw it at the well-built man.

As Callie felt the retaliating cushion hit the back of her head, she yelped when she heard the doorbell ring. Looking at each other, Callie tried to pull her frame up from her seated position, but instantly felt herself pulled back as both fought to get to the door first.

"Ow you perv, that was right on the boob!" Callie yelled while opening the door, coming face to face with Cristina. As she looked at the confused features on the other woman, Cristina quickly took in the sight of a man; a very handsome and sexy man wrapped in a very intimate embrace around her old friend. Callie couldn't stop the smile that graced her face and she launched forward removing her body from his arms and practically tackling the other woman, completely catching Cristina off guard.

"No touchie-touchie!" Cristina pulled away from Callie and began to straighten her clothes out before she picked up her suitcase and side stepped Callie and the stud. "Now, where is my room?"

"Cristina, what are you doing here?" Callie asked confused. "Seems nothing has changed though, I see you are as blatant as ever ... can't say I've missed that." Callie closed the door and moved into the kitchen grabbing a beer from the fridge and throwing it in the lone male's direction.

"What, do I not get offered?" Cristina asked showing her hands in the air.

"Here, do you want one, _Your Rudeness_?" Callie lifted another bottle from the fridge and began moving over toward her.

"Yeah right. Now, where you taking me tonight? I need proper alcohol." Cristina shook her head and turned up her nose. "But first..." Callie watched as Cristina made her way over to her sofa table and placed her cell down before she started rummaging around in her bag. Pulling out the charger she was about to connect the plug to the socket when Callie realized what she was doing.

"Cristina NO! Don't..." She screamed. "Faulty socket, it will blow the power in the whole damn apartment building! I'm _still_ waiting for the super to fix it." Callie explained a bit calmer.

"So why haven't you covered it up...sheesh!"

"Because there was no need to when everyone here, you know _invited _guests, all know about it. Anyway, just don't please, the last time it blew; the power was off for at least two hours. The stairs are a bitch and a half."

"Since my dear girl here has forgotten her manners. It's a pleasure to meet you, Cristina; Callie's spoken a lot about you. My names To…" The man had moved over and stuck a hand out waiting for a handshake before Cristina rudely cut him off mid-sentence.

"Was I talking to you? No, I don't think so!" _Like she needed an introduction. Of course she knew who this man, with his hands all over her friend, was and she wasn't about to entertain the thoughts that they were going to be buddy-buddy. No, this man was supposed to be__the enemy._

"CRISTINA! Did you leave _your _manners back in Seattle?" Callie hissed.

"No Callie, has it really been that long? I don't do manners. Now will you and Twinkle Toes here ... by the way that's a very manly beard to go with your pedicure. Is that shirt meant to be that tight or did your mommy put it in the wrong laundry setting? Okay, what was I saying? Oh yeah, drinks, yes? Or really should I just say, where?" Cristina watched, as the man seemed to be having a conversation with himself in his head before he spoke.

"Oooooh I like her, Queen of the Hornet's Nest. Let's take her with us, Babe. She should be bundles of fun. Let me just get my wallet, left it in the bedroom after the shower. Back in a moment." And with that he downed the rest of his bottle and disappeared through the door.

"Cristina, spill why are you really here? And without bothering to call me before you showed up, _uninvited?_" Callie looked at her suspiciously.

"Just ... you know, thought I'd come and take in the sights that Pennsylvania has to offer and visit my goddaughter. I take that responsibility very seriously!" Cristina replied with an unreadable shrug of the shoulders.

**They Paved Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot**

The entire taxi ride, Cristina watched his hands constantly make contact with something of Callie's. The three of them had to squeeze into the back, as the driver had dropped a cup of coffee on the front passenger seat; and because it had been so close to the end of his shift, he had apologized for the inconvenience, but told them had it been an issue that they could wait for another taxi. After watching the two climb in, Cristina moved to the other side so that Callie ended up in having to shift to the middle.

Cristina wished she had something to tie his flailing arms down with, in such a cramped place she wanted to say something, but for once bit her tongue. Callie didn't seem to be very welcoming of her usual rude demeanor, and she needed to do recon, not destroy any chance she had at getting on the inside with what people saw as her foul attitude. But when this guy spoke he seemed to emphasize everything with his hands, which would then result on them resting on Callie's thighs or arms, and more than once she caught his hands on Callie's chest. Cristina felt his complete disregard for personal space was completely out of order.

So glad when the taxi pulled up at the bar, Cristina practically launched herself out the door toward the bar. A blur of yellow as the door swung open, left Callie having to apologize to the driver and pay the fare.

"Ah my favorite couple, the good doctors. What would be the poison of choice for ya tonight then?" Cristina's attention carried over to the very loud New Yorker voice that bellowed from his position behind the bar.

Scanning the bar she noted the lack of people in the dimly lit space. Keeping her voice as low as she could, she spoke out of the corner of her mouth resulting in a laugh from her friend.

"Wow did he eat all the customers?" Callie ushered Cristina into the booth in the corner as she watched the two men shake hands and exchange pleasantries. "So, it must me nice that you found a new Mark?" Cristina instantly realized what she said as she saw the pain flicker across Callie's face.

"Yeah, he's a good guy. He's been a great support to me at work and with Sofia. He's a good role model for her." Callie smiled as she glanced over at him as she heard his playful laugh turn up a notch.

**My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard**

"I mean is it just fuck bunnies or is it serious?"

"Seriously? Seriously Cristina! That just came thundering out your mouth!" Callie looked back at her with a raised eyebrow in disbelief.

"I was just asking if it was serious between you and Tony, because I have a hundred dollars riding on you being back on the dong, and Meredith owes me." Cristina smiled widely as Callie finally caught up with everything Cristina had said.

Callie raised her eyebrows in Cristina's direction, confusion etched on her face. "Me and Tony?" _How did Cristina know about Tony?_ "Are he and I fuck bunnies or heading down the aisle, is that what you're asking about us?" She smiled nodding toward her PIC across the room.

"Yeah, what's the deal with you two? He's hot. I mean he's Mark and Derek in one _fine ass _man with a damn _fine ass." _Cristina held her hands up and framed his ass, inspecting it. "I'll give you that you have great taste in lookers, but is he husband material? You don't have great taste in spouses, so do I need to worry about my goddaughter? I don't need to worry about Tony, do I?" Cristina was her usual mix of serious and inappropriate.

"Well, _Tony _is a great lay, but besides being a great lay, there's some real potential for a solid future. And God is _Tony _great in bed. Why, are you jealous?" Callie couldn't help but laugh. "But please, we shouldn't talk about this in front of him," she nodded toward the tall man heading their way, "he gets squeamish when I start talking sex in front of people."

"Hey ladies, bottoms up... just the way I like it." He chuckled at his own joke, taking a seat next to Callie before handing both women a glass.

Winking in his direction, Callie batted her eyelashes and gave her sweetest smile. "So Cristina here was just asking if we were friends with benefits or if we were serious, _Tony Baby_?"

"We'll I don't know if my mistress has ever defined me other than just a number." He returned the wink, smiling seductively at Callie causing her to raise an eyebrow in response.

"Mistress? I didn't know we were letting anyone in on _that_, Baby." She leaned over and squeezed his upper thigh causing a red blush to creep up his cheeks. He was always game for teasing Callie, but she was a little too close to certain parts and squeezed just a little too tight causing a reaction neither wanted especially in public.

Clearing his throat, he narrowed in on Cristina, refusing to look over at Callie. "Come on, you've not given me any in hours, how about you just jump right on my lap and we can show your friend which one we really are, and what all the guys want."

"Oh get a room, you two are disgusting." Cristina rolled her eyes, but the meaning of guys did not go unnoticed. "So, to change the subject so I won't barf my good alcohol all over you two, how'd you meet?" She asked.

"Ortho department at the hospital. Callie's my boss. I work under her." He explained. "Dr. King, Ortho at your disposal. You can bow down now to me and I respond to, Your Majesty."

"You were King of Ortho until I came; now you're a lowly minion, Dear." Callie laughed as he pouted.

"Dr. King Ortho? Is that how you introduce yourself, really? King Ortho?" Cristina snickered.

"Yes, he actually does. He's a douche." Callie laughed.

"So Tony, you gonna marry our girl here?" Cristina watched as he spit his beer out at the question**.**

"That's none of your business, Cristina." Callie's voice took on a low growl. "How do you know about Tony anyway?" She knew her daughter had to be the culprit here, but her worry wasn't so much that Cristina knew, but that if Cristina knew, Arizona knew too. But they weren't married. For years now they hadn't answered to each other and she was certain Arizona hadn't stayed single in those years. No, not the woman that was married and screwing around, but she couldn't possibly remain unattached; so if Arizona was free to date or whatever, why was Callie so worried about her ex-wife being privy to her own dating life? Why? Because no matter how many years had gone by and how much distance separated them, silence spanning more than just a country apart, Callie's heart still hurt knowing that Arizona might realize that Callie was finally moving on, finally free of the confines of her past; their past.

Cristina shrugged ignoring the question that she hadn't prepared herself to answer. "So, what's your schedule like? Wanna play hookie tomorrow?" Cristina completely changed the subject. "What about you Tony, you up for showing this gal about?" She asked before contemplating her words and changing her mind. "You know actually, I think I'll just wait at the apartment until Sofia gets home and surprise her. Take her out maybe. I'll see if I can be bothered tomorrow." Cristina threw back a shot as another round was brought to the table.

"It might be good for Sofia to spend some time with someone else. Maybe her heat seeking missiles might disengage from ...Ow, what'd you kick me for, Brat?!" Callie rolled her eyes at his lack of subtlety, getting up from her seat she made her way to the bathroom.

"So Tony, tight lips over there isn't giving anything up." Cristina nodded in the direction Callie had taken off in. "You appreciate a fine bit of male ass by the look of you, don't you?" Staring straight at the man in an interrogational pose, he realised that he better bring his A-game. "So come on, be a stereotype and give me the goss." Cristina drew herself closer to the well-groomed Dr. King. "Give me the dirt you know you want to. I can tell your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but does Callie know she's dating a _gay_?"

"Well..." He looked at Cristina and she had to hold her laughter in as she watched the man's mannerisms change before her eyes. "I am 100% positive that Callie knows she's dating a _gay_." He smiled sweetly and Cristina was just in awe of the gayness that oozed from him. How on earth did she not realize this before?

"But sometimes you can't help who you fall for; gay; straight ... we all need a little lovin'." He straightened himself against the back of his chair. Cristina couldn't help but laugh at the expression on the man's face until her head clicked back into gear when she realised he had said. He watched in confusion as she began to gently bang her head on the table. "Erm...Cristina what are you doing sweetie?"

"Gay dong! Fuck, I _still_ win. Right? I still win because it's still penis. We had a wager back home that Callie would be back on the joystick." She threw her hands in the air in celebration "And gay dong still counts!" Cristina hushed as she saw Callie make her way back over to the table.

"What are you two up to?" Callie eyed both suspiciously.

"Oh, the good King here was just telling me the places I should visit while I'm here."

"Oh really...like?"

"Oh, can't remember wasn't really listening." Cristina smiled and stood up. "I'm hungry; can I interest anyone but this guy here, in some nuts?"

**This Used To Be A Funhouse But Now It's Full Of Evil Clowns**

"Where the hell have you been? You haven't answered the damn phone in two days, come back here or ... where have you been Cristina? I've been going crazy?" Arizona stormed over to the other woman, getting up in her face. Arizona was wound tighter than a virgin on her wedding night and Cristina was the perfect target.

"What not even a _hello Cristina? How are you this fine afternoon?"_ Sidestepping the raging blonde woman, Cristina sat herself down on the seat in the corner, before Arizona followed her and hit her on the back of the head. "Ow, what was that for?"

"The wake up calls you brat." Arizona went over and sat on the bed, she was emotionally drained and tired as hell because of Cristina's mischief and lack of communication, so she hadn't gotten a proper sleep. Pulling the eye mask that was perched on the top of her head she replaced it over her eyes and dramatically threw herself back onto the soft mattress.

"My phone battery died and Callie has a dead outlet and I forgot to plug it in after getting the rundown of her house rules. Why are you so uptight anyway? Are you taking lessons from your daughter? Should I call you, Drama Mama Queen?" Cristina teased.

"Oh shut up and tell me ... um, so how's...how's Callie? Have you met her ... her fian ...Tony? Is Callie happy?" Arizona asked timidly.

"Yeah, I met Tony; seriously Arizona the man is the definition of a candy shop. Could suck on that..." Cristina tried to keep herself from cracking, as Arizona was upright in a matter of seconds. Eye mask ripped from her face and blue eyes targeted on the woman who was currently trying to not return the eye contact with her. She knew she would crack if she did right now.

"So _he's _pretty, but why doesn't Sofia like him? Is he mean? Why does my daughter hate him so much?"

_Because, the one who her mommy's in bed with every night, he's not you._ Cristina decided it was best not to say such things as it was clear Arizona was already _still _a mess. "Beats me, I haven't seen him with the kid yet, but Tony is supposed to be coming over to pick Callie up for a date, so I guess I'll have front row seats. I think he's nice. Funny. Great looking. His ass is sculpted. It's _so _fine_. _Aside from his God-like body, they seem like a great fit." She shrugged apathetically trying to reel Arizona in on her line.

Arizona rolled her eyes, shaking her head. There were fears, and there were nightmares, and Tony just became both. But who was she to judge? So what if her ex-wife was marrying a man? She knew from even before dating Callie, that she was attracted to both men and women, and although it had caused her enough moments of distress in their relationship, it wasn't anything she ever thought would be an issue again. Callie was with her and that was that. Except Callie _wasn't _with her. They were divorced. For years they were divorced. And it burned her that Callie would end up in her forever with a man. But truth be told, she'd probably feel the same way if Callie found herself with a female lover too. She'd rationalize that had Callie returned to men, it was because no other woman would or could ever compare to Arizona both in bed and out, but being with another woman after Arizona, meant she wasn't the best Callie ever had. It was a fucking double-edged sword with a serrated blade.

"What's wrong Sunshine?"

"Nothing." Arizona mumbled, blinking tears from her eyes. _Why the hell did she come here? What was the point?_


	5. From Russia With Love

"_**Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then for the love of God ...tell a joke" - Joss Whedon**_

**AN: **And so it begins ... (insert dun dun dun music here)

All of you are amazing and we appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for sticking with us and we hope that you're enjoying reading this as much as we've enjoyed writing it. Thank you all for the reviews, you always brighten our day when we get them.

Thank you to the lovely Shinata-Riyoko who beta'd this longer chapter for us. Thank you to my Zoe who always listens to my crap.

Sadie and Nic

* * *

**Chapter Five From Russia With Love**

**Somebody Told Me You Had A Boyfriend That Looked Like A Girlfriend**

"Oh goodie, Tony's here!" Cristina heard the knock and jumped up to answer the door sarcastically clapping her hands as she made her way over.

"Cristina NO!" Callie raced for the door before Cristina could open it herself, but tripping over one of Sofia's toys, she fell flat. Flat, on her face.

"Hello?" The tall, redheaded, knockout of a woman stood before a fish-mouthed Cristina.

"Who are you?"

"Tonya Rusakov, but everybody calls me Tony. And you would be?"

"No fucking way! You're not Tony, I met Tony." Cristina stood shaking her head as she took in the words from the accented beauty.

"Last time I checked I was Tony." She replied with a knowing smirk, _this was fun_.

"You can't be Tony. You're Tony? But you're a woman. And you're sex on legs. Two legs."

Cristina continued holding onto the door, giving her no room to enter and Callie no room to join the conversation.

"Yang, watch what you say around Sofia, that is way past insensitive." Callie barked and with her ortho-strength behind her, she tore the door out of Cristina's hands trying to get between the two women. "I'm sorry, Cristina wasn't taught to play nice. Come in." She ushered the confused woman through the door.

"Ah, Cristina. That explains it, I've heard _all _about you. Sofia's godmother, right? The one that bought her permanent markers as a Christmas present and told her the world was her canvas, so she drew on every wall of Barbara's house?" Tony smiled, slipping her arm around Callie's waist after kissing her cheek.

"Callie wanted me to encourage her dreams like any good godmother would do; I was only doing what she asked." Cristina shrugged; even when the Colonel called to _thank _her for Cristina's _thoughtful _present, it didn't faze her, because she was a country away from the old man, and it wasn't like there'd ever be another wedding where she would have to run into him. His daughter was divorced from Cristina's only connection to the grumpy old man and _that_ ship had long sailed, and sank in _the perfect storm. _"So, if _you're_ Tony, who was the flaming fag, I took body shots off of earlier?" She asked.

"Cristina! _SERIOUSLY,_ you know I don't like that word. Now retract your fangs!" Callie was less than amused.

"Body shots, Callie?" Tony raised her eyebrow in a questioning motion, her eyes clearly spelling disappointment.

Sighing Callie kissed her girlfriend's cheek. "Cristina is kidding, Honey." She glared in her direction. "She's pissy because we let her think King was you. She's bitter because she lost a bet that I was going to return to men and even worse for her: that I'm not doing the dirty with a gay dong as she so eloquently puts it."

"Stupid, gossiping, gay man!" Cristina huffed. "So I'm out some money, whatever. I've got plenty."

Both Callie and Tony laughed because Toby King _was _a world-class gossip; the man couldn't keep it in if his life depended upon it, so anything Cristina told him was fair game to Callie. "Look, _be nice_, Yang. I need to grab my shoes and bag. I'll be right back." Callie slipped away as she heard Sofia.

"I'll get you some soda, Tony."

"NO!" Tony and Callie screamed in unison.

"What was that about?" Cristina questioned.

"Um, last time Sofia _accidentally dropped _the can and Tony ended up soaked in sticky cola."

Callie sent a knowing glare in her daughter's direction.

"_Accidentally_, huh Little Doc?" Cristina smiled; _accidentally _her ass.

**Sofia and Her Imaginary Friend**

It was another night that Sofia had to share and as an only child, Sofia _didn't _share. It wasn't that she didn't share well, she just didn't share. She didn't have to. She didn't even have to share her parents with each other and this new addition to her life,_ Tony_; she was making the young child's life a living hell. Or as much hell as a seven year old could have, considering her life for the most part was a dream other children read about in storybooks. Yes, Sofia had her Aunt Cris tonight, and she loved every moment she spent with the woman, but she wanted everybody's attention, Mommy's included. If Tony thought she was going to join her family unit, the redhead had another thing coming; Sofia wasn't going to share.

"Sofia, the phone is ringing and my cordless fell behind the bed, can you please answer that?" Callie yelled from her bedroom, where she was hopping around trying to get her heels on as fast as humanly possible. She was always, always late for her dates with Tony. If it wasn't something going wrong around the house, her daughter was ill, or something ridiculous was constantly causing her delay.

Sofia smiled sweetly, Cristina watching her goddaughter from her place on the couch. That look on Sofia's face could only be described as mischievous, and the young miss had her full attention while Tony dug through her purse looking for a business card Cristina asked about.

"Hello, Torres' Residence, how can I help you?" She answered with the good manners drilled into her by both moms.

"Mommy's busy; she's going out on a date. Which girl or boy may I ask is calling?"

Cristina's eyes grew wide and Tony stopped digging in her bag to listen to the conversation only a few feet away.

"Are you that pretty brown haired girl she went out with last week or the blonde from yesterday?"

The look of shock on both women sitting on the couch witnessing this phone call was priceless, and it took all of Sofia's self-control to continue on without cracking a smile and giving herself away.

Grabbing for a pen and notepad placed within reach of the phone, Sofia balanced the receiver on her shoulder like she'd seen her Gramma do lots of times. "Oh, the blonde from last week, I member you. It's me, Sofia. You took me to the park cuz you are the coolest. Mommy's busy; can I take a message for you?"

"Okay, thank you. I'll tell her you called." Sofia put down the phone, turning away from the women for a brief moment.

Cristina sat, watching her goddaughter hang up the house phone and then very sneakily shut her own cell phone that she had plastered to her side, in where she thought it was away from their view. She almost lost it with laughter and instead choked herself into a coughing frenzy before she could ruin Sofia's prank. She knew she should have stopped Sofia and probably punished her, but the look on Callie's girlfriend's face was priceless, and it was such a brilliant move on the seven year old's behalf, that she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She'd talk to her later but for now; she was going to let it slide.

"Who was it, Sof?" Callie exited the room ready for her date.

"Whoa Torres, you look like sex on heels. Somebody's getting laid tonight." Cristina interrupted before her goddaughter could answer.

"Cristina! Seriously!" Callie scolded, looking sideways at her daughter who was now playing quietly in her toy corner, seemingly ignoring Cristina's outburst.

Blushing, Callie looked toward her girlfriend sitting quietly on the couch. "Um, you ready?"

"Huh?" Tony looked up with emotion swirling in her eyes, that Callie couldn't identify.

"Are you ready?" She repeated.

"Oh yeah, we should go." She whispered, refusing to look at anybody but Callie.

Callie walked over to her daughter, bending over to kiss the top of her head. "Behave tonight, young lady. Do not stay up late just because your Aunt is here. Capiche?"

"Capiche! Have fun, Mommy." Sofia continued playing with her dolls. She felt oddly guilty when she saw the look on Tony's face and that made her uncomfortable. Usually her pranks were funny, but Tony didn't look as if she was laughing.

Cristina watched as a pang of jealousy appeared on Tony's face as Callie spoke to Sofia. She had been feeling sorry for the woman, but seeing the look on her face just annoyed her. Sofia was a child, who wasn't to say that if this woman ended up marrying Callie, Sofia would end up at a boarding school or something. She was not letting that happen to _her _Little Doc.

"Cristina! Since you've come and made yourself at home. How about you do some washing for me?" Callie smiled sweetly at her as she grunted acceptance. "Please don't add any softener though, there's some of Tony's stuff in there and she's allergic to it. Thanks Yang."

"Go, before I change my mind. Sofia, let's go and I'll show you how to work the washer."

**Like Mother, Like Daughter**

As much as Cristina loved the idea of her brilliant goddaughter causing havoc on Callie's new woman; Arizona had told her some of the stuff Sofia had done to her, but this, this was the first time she'd actually witnessed the mischief first hand, and as an adult, one that Sofia was supposed to look up to, she had to do something. Her being a rude asshole was one thing, Sofia knew better. But at the same time, she was still the cool one, and she wasn't going to ruin that image by scolding her goddaughter. That was a job for a mom and Cristina was NOT a mom.

"Why are we at a hotel?" Sofia skipped down the hall just a feet ahead of her godmother.

"Because." Cristina refused to give Sofia any clues.

"Because why?" Sofia left her voice linger in the air at the question.

"We're at a hotel because I want to be here." Cristina snapped. _This _is why she wasn't a parent; she had no patience.

"But why?" Sofia giggled when Cristina picked her up from behind, turning her around.

"Because I'm the ... adult, that's why." Cristina put Sofia back down on the carpeted floor. "Shit." Did she really just go the, '_Because I'm the mom, that's why',_ route? She'd been around children too much; this was not cool. "Just because, Sofia."

"I'm telling Mommy you cussed."

"Whatever Little Brat, we're here. Open the door." Cristina handed her the key card.

Arizona was waiting for them. Cristina texted her telling her that they were on their way. That Sofia was being a monster to Tony and Arizona needed to do something, because Callie was oblivious and Tony wasn't going to tell her. She heard the door open and before she could turn around, she heard squeals and was tackled from behind.

"Mama! You came!" Sofia hugged her tight.

"Of course Baby." Arizona turned around, taking her daughter over to the couch, sitting down, with Sofia standing in front of her.

"Good. It's about time." Sofia tapped her foot, hands on her hips in her scolding stance. She was the splitting image of Arizona Robbins with Callie's looks. "So, what are we going to do bout Tony, Mama?"

Shaking her head, Arizona sighed. "Nothing, Sofia."

"What?" Sofia screeched as if she didn't hear her mama correctly. And here was the Callie in her coming out.

"Mommy deserves to be happy. And your aunt says you're being disrespectful and rude to Tony. We didn't raise you this way, young lady. Mommy and I are never rude or mean to people. You know better, Sofia Robbin." Holding onto her daughter's upper arms, Arizona stared the young child down, daring her to argue. This was her serious face, even if she was lacking conviction behind her words.

"Aunt Cris is." Sofia wasn't going to take responsibility for her actions; she learned very well from her moms how to avoid it. You take everybody else down with you. "Aunt Cris says lots of mean things."

"Aunt Cristina isn't your mother." Arizona raised her voice, letting Sofia know she was serious.

"Listen to her Little Doc, it's why I'm not a parent. Bad role model!" Cristina shrugged, even if she had a short pang of guilt in her stomach. She never ever meant for her bad manners to rub off on her goddaughter, but at the same time, she didn't see how acting differently around a child was good for them. You treat them like you would anybody else, no special favors, because in the real world, nobody gets special favors.

Sofia stuck out her lower lip and as practiced, quivered it just enough to get sympathy. "But I don't like Tony." She squeezed out a few tears to make her point.

Changing her tactics, knowing she really couldn't defend Tony because _she _didn't like Tony, even if she didn't know Tony, Arizona went for the heart. "But you love Mommy."

"Do you?" Sofia looked up hopeful.

Choking momentarily on her answer, Arizona cleared her throat, taking those few moments to blink back tears, that the truth brought with them. "Do I what?"

"Love Mommy?" Sofia asked again.

"Sofia, we're, uh, we're not talking about me. We're talking about you acting like a big girl and giving Tony a chance." Arizona looked up, away from her daughter, to settle her thoughts. Clear her mind. But not before Cristina clearly caught the look of sadness and heartbreak in her eyes.

Still pouting, Sofia looked up with sad eyes. "But what if I never like Tony and they get married, Mama?"

Pulling her daughter onto the couch next to her, Arizona cupped her chubby cheeks. "Oh Sofia, Mommy's allowed to get married and if you only gave Tony a real chance …"

"To you?" Sofia perked up at the thought.

"What?"

"Why can't Mommy get married to you?"

Cristina smirked; damn this child was _good_.

Biting back her own tears, Arizona squeezed her eyes shut. Opening them again, she stared into brown eyes full of hope, and that crushed her soul. "Sofia, Mommy and I were married, it didn't work."

"Why?"

"It's complicated." That was the only answer Arizona was ever going to give.

"Why?"

"It just is …"

"Well maybe you can make it not complicated. You could fix it and then you could get married to Mommy." Sofia suggested as if things were that simple.

"Sofia, I don't even live here." Arizona was grasping at straws, looking for any excuse to give her daughter. That one sounded like shit, even to her.

"But you could stay here and then you would. I'm here, and Gramma and Pop-pop and … and Mommy's here."

If only children could solve the world with their simplistic ideals. If only adults just listened to them once in a while. Cristina was shaking her head, what was going through that thick blonde skull of Arizona's? It was _clear as day_ that this woman was far from over her ex-wife.

Changing tactics again, Arizona gave a weak smile. "Sofia, is Mommy happy with Tony?"

"Yes." She huffed. Sofia hadn't seen her mommy smile like that at anybody, ever. Only in the pictures her gramma gave her from when she was a baby, and it was her and mommy and mama all together.

"Don't you want Mommy happy?" Arizona asked knowing that their happiness meant the world to Sofia. It was a cruel way to go, feeding on her daughter's big heart, but it was her only option at this point.

"Yes." Sofia mumbled again.

"Please, for me, give Tony a chance?" Arizona was begging, not knowing what else to say.

Sofia mumbled again, nodding without making eye contact. She was mad. And hurt. Mama was supposed to save her. Mama was always supposed to save her.

"Will you least come over for dinner tomorrow?" Sofia pleaded, batting her eyelashes.

"I can't Sofia."

"Why?" Which was her favorite word in the English language.

"It's complicated."

Sofia didn't like that stupid word. _That _word was her least favorite word. Complicated was stupid. "Please, Mommy will be so happy to know you are here."

"NO!" Arizona yelled, clearing the frog from her throat, she looked at her daughter staring back at her with wide eyes. "I mean, later, but don't tell her yet. Soon. It'll be a surprise." Yeah, surprise, Arizona thought. She'll be so surprised she'll probably call the police.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Arizona cringed at the stupid promise she made. What was she going to do now?

"But um, let's keep it our little secret until I call Mommy, okay?"

"Cuz it's complicated?" She asked mockingly.

"Sofia, what did I just say about your rude beh..."

"Little Doc, why are you dancing? No time to be dancing, your mama's talking. Oh wait..." Cristina began to laugh when she realised what was going on. She hadn't seen it in such a long time, but god, how she really was the spitting image of her mommy. "Pee dance...Pee dance!" Cristina pointed toward Sofia, as Arizona brought her head back down to witness her daughter hopping around.

"Sofia the toilet's through that door, go quickly."

"So answer the question Long John Silver. You still love her don't you?" Cristina watched as Arizona closed her eyes. "Why are you doing this to yourself? You made a mistake Arizona, years ago and you've been punishing yourself ever since. I get it if you don't love her anymore, but every time the question comes up, you can't make yourself give an answer..."

"Oh peg legged-pirate jokes Cristina? Mature! _Real _mature. I don't, Cristina, now drop it. I do not love...I...Don't." Arizona couldn't finish the sentence without sobbing like a baby.

"Mmm hmm, really hit that home to me, wow!" Cristina's voice was drenched with sarcasm.

Cristina knew she had hit a sore point asking about Callie, Arizona had never had that reaction to her somewhat bad humoured jokes. After Callie left, she finally admitted she needed help and finally went to therapy. She could never do that when Callie was still around, she couldn't let Callie see her any weaker...it was after all, one of the things that got them in trouble, Arizona's failure to admit that things were not alright.

Part of her therapy was to come to terms with the loss of the leg. Whenever Arizona spoke to the therapist about what happened in the woods, she would always hide behind humour. The therapist got Arizona to use it to her advantage. The type of person Arizona was before the accident was a fun, wheelie wearing, kind-hearted person, who worked constantly with children. Children that didn't have a filter. Everybody had been skirting around the issue, whenever a kid would ask an awkward question _like they always_ would, Arizona would watch everyone squirm and get out of the immediate danger.

One day, when one of those questions came up, it was a young cancer patient. It was hard to notice under her scrubs, but when she had a particularly long, standing day like that one, she would find that she would limp. When he asked what was wrong with her leg, Arizona, as time went on, had become more comfortable when kids asked her about it. When she smiled and showed him, his eyes light up. He asked if she was a pirate, the joy and excitement she saw in that sick little boys face made her heart light up. _In Peds we have miracles and magic ..._She hadn't felt that in a while, she had been punishing herself for so long, embarrassed by it. When she smiled and leaned into whisper "Yes, but shhh, it can be our little secret." The boy almost shot out of bed, he was excited. That was the day that Arizona let go of the anger, she was still here to help this little boy and every other child.

"Okay, let's go another route. You just told your kid to lie to her mother." Cristina wasn't letting Arizona off the hook so easily.

"I know."

"Smooth move, Robbins."

Rubbing her hands over her face, she sighed. She was just digging and digging this hole. "I know, okay?"

"Please will you just call your ex and tell her you are in town. Make things easier all around. " Cristina pleaded, this was turning into a colossal mess.

"I'm not so sure her fiancé would like that very much. I'm sure he doesn't want her ex-wife showing up and raining on their parade." Of all the people in the world, lying to Cristina was the worst idea. She saw through all facades and lies, and only ignored the ones she chose to, but anything coming from Arizona was not something she chose to ignore.

"Whatever." Cristina rolled her eyes. "I'm going to get the kid back, before Callie comes home and thinks we're getting into trouble."

"Thank you." Arizona whispered, her emotions on the cusp of taking full control.

"Yeah, whatever." Cristina was irritated. At Callie and at Arizona. She knew from talks along the years that Callie hadn't moved on, even if she dated or screwed around here and there, and there was no way this Tony person had all of Callie's heart. No way. And Arizona? What serious relationship had she even tried over the years? She hopped around from woman to woman, never giving any of herself over but her body. That's how it had been since Callie left. Her body wasn't important, it was her heart that was, and she wasn't willing to give it to anybody else. Cristina didn't meddle, but for fuck's sake she was done watching them both fuck up their lives, her goddaughters, and because of that, her own.

"So, you know these pranks you've been pulling, kid?" Cristina made certain Sofia was strapped securely into the car before she confronted her. Sofia couldn't get away.

"Whatever do you mean, Aunt Cristina?" She first cringed, before pasting on her favorite innocent smile. "I'd never do such a thing."

"Cut the crap, kid. I've figured you out. You might have pulled the wool over your moms' eyes, but I see right through you." Cristina glanced in the rear-view mirror, smirking as she watched Sofia pale before her eyes.

"Are you gonna tell Mommy?" Sofia looked horrified.

"No. What I'm going to do is help you step up your game."

"Step up my game?" Sofia was confused.

Cristina smiled; this was going to be fun. She pulled out her phone and loaded youtube. "You're playing T-Ball in the Big Leagues, Little Doc. It's time you went professional. Now these are pranks!"

"Really?" Sofia's eyes lit up with glee as she read the title of the video...Shrink-wrap prank.

"Really! But if you get caught, you're all on your own. I'm not going down with you, deal?"

Sofia nodded, her grin bigger than her cheeks could handle. If Aunt Cris was in this, helping her, it wouldn't be long before her moms fell back in love and lived happily ever after, and the princess and maiden could find their happy ending.

**The Exorcist Strikes Again**

The silence was awkward; four sets of eyes watched each other waiting for a flinch. Tony sat wondering what the rest were thinking, Cristina was still trying to figure out if she liked the woman; she did kind of feel sorry for her. Tony seemed nice enough and she knew that, with everything that Callie had been through, for her to have opened her heart up again, it had to be for someone special. However, Sofia had a point. Callie was not over Arizona and Arizona was definitely not over Callie, their story did not have an ending. No matter how this played out, Cristina knew there had to be a full stop. And well, Barbara had liked her when she thought she was just another one of Callie's friends, but when the relationship came to light. Well of course she didn't like her, but she kept herself smiling at the woman. In her opinion, it should only be Arizona that was waiting on Callie.

"Gramma, can you tell Mommy that my tummy huuurts? I really don't feel..." all of a sudden Sofia stood up, threw her coloring book down and ran to her room.

Cristina looked at Barbara "I'll go make sure she's okay, you get Callie." Cristina made a ssh motion to Barbara who stood up and made her way toward Callie's room. Cristina watched, she could see Tony physically relax as the people she wanted to impress had left the room. Smirking she followed Sofia, and as she approached the slightly open door she could hear Sofia wretch. Scrunching her nose when she heard the noise, even though she knew it was faked, it still made her stomach churn as she turned back around shaking her head in disgust.

Sofia sat behind her door, looking into the mirror she'd positioned to allow her to see if anyone followed her. Smiling when she realized it was Cristina, she retrieved the pre-filled bag from behind her hiding place. Cristina quickly helped to place the bag up her sleeve, manoeuvring it so the contents did not escape until Sofia was ready. "You have it pinched, remember just let go when you're ready. I'll take care of the rest." Cristina gave the child a wink of her eye in comradery.

"Is Sofia still in her room?" Callie exited her bedroom with Barbara following.

"Yeah, she was hurling and I'm in no way signed up for that in my Godmother duties, it's written in the small, fine print." Cristina stared at Tony, who began to giggle. With all eyes on Tony, she suddenly felt very small.

"You laugh. She actually had a contract drawn up where all parties had to sign...Witnesses and everything." Callie told Tony straight faced, almost too serious as Tony was sure she was having her leg pulled.

"I take my Godly powers that be very seriously."

"Oh you are serious!"

"Number One on the list was that if anyone called her a fairy, she was revoking her divine presence. She's high maintenance." Callie shrugged. "Sofia, Sofia are you alright, Baby?" She called through the bedroom door.

"Just coming Mommy." Callie could hear the pathetic-ness in her daughter's voice and was mentally preparing herself for the guilt trip Sofia was about to give her. Sitting herself down next to Tony, she felt the tender touch of her girlfriend's hand on her knee. Watching as sweat covered face...splashed watered face entered the room Callie sucked in some air. "I take it I'm not allowed to go out again today?" Callie didn't mean to say that out loud, but this seemed to be a pattern for her daughter, ruining the date somehow, someway and it was getting annoying.

"No, Mommy. You go out with Tony. Have a nice time, I have Gramma and Aunt Cris here to look after me." Sofia moved over to behind the sofa her mother and Tony were sitting at. Slinking her arms around Callie's neck from behind, she gave her mother a cuddle. Surprising everyone, she then moved to Tony and copied the sentiment. As everyone was in shock and looking at each other, Sofia took her chance and as she straightened herself she was sick all down the back of Tony.

In all the commotion, Sofia stepped back and took in her handy work as Callie and Barbara rushed to Tony's aid. Green thick sludge dripped down Tony's back, thick chunks congealed in long red hair. Almost forgetting that she had to make an escape before she was caught, Sofia was snapped back to the present when she heard her aunt's voice. "Sofia, oh god are you okay...come one lets get you cleaned up." Cristina picked the child up and whisked her off to her room.

When the two reached the room, they gave each other a celebratory high five, before watching the commotion through the crack in the door.

"Now, you remembered to add the softener to the washing like _you _planned?" Cristina watched as Sofia smiled almost evilly. "That's my girl...Phase Two in progress."

Sofia sat between her gramma and aunt, watching closely as Tony squirmed in her seat. She bit the insides of her cheeks in a desperate attempt at refraining from laughing, while Cristina stared at the ceiling, as if waiting for the Lord Himself to make an appearance. Barbara eyed them suspiciously; something was up.

**My Oh My, You're Getting Under My Skin**

"Tony Dear, are you okay? You've got a rash climbing up your neck and down your arms." Barbara pointed out the bright red hives making themselves known on the pale doctor's skin.

Scratching at her throat, tears stinging her eyes, she nodded. "Yeah, I just ..." she clawed at her stomach, "I just really itch!"

"Baby, that doesn't look good, did you eat something you shouldn't have?" Callie asked examining the warming rash.

"No, everything I ate came from my own kitchen today, nothing could have been contaminated."

"She's allergic to shell fish and various fruits, anything in the onion family, sometimes, when we eat out no matter how hard we try, the restaurant screws up and her food still gets touched by things it shouldn't." Callie explained to a very concerned Barbara.

Pulling back her girlfriend's shirt, she peaked down seeing blazing red, bumpy skin staring back up at her. "Let me get you some medicine." She got up, walking towards the kitchen, when the open door to her laundry room caught her eye. She never left that open, it didn't have any air ducts, which meant it sucked the heat or air conditioning from the rest of the house. That room itself wasted tons of money on electricity, so she was vigilant about keeping it closed.

"Sofia, did you go into the laundry room?" She stopped mid-way, turning to talk to her daughter.

Sofia smiled sweetly, her best innocent look. "Yes Mommy. I saw how much clothes we needed to wash so Aunt Cristina helped me do them. I washed them and dried them myself, measured it out like the bottles said to and I putted them away myself though."

Slight panic crossed Callie's face. "Did you do my laundry too, baby?"

"Yes Mommy. I helped you. After Aunt Cris showed me a few days ago, I wanted to help you. Why do you look mad?" Sofia scrunched up her face, big fat crocodile tears falling down her cheeks.

"Did you put softener in the laundry Sofia?"

"Softener? What's that Mommy?" She feigned innocence. Of course she put softener in, how else would the second part of their plan work?

"The light blue bottle with the teddy on the front, did you add that to Mommy's laundry. Think hard, Sofia."

"Uhuh! You like the teddy in your clothes, Mommy. Are you mad at me?" She cried harder looking between Tony and her mom.

Tony growled, running from the room into Callie's attached bathroom, Callie following behind.

"What? What'd I do?" Sofia looked up at her gramma making the tears fall faster. "I was only trying to help Mommy."

After a few minutes, Tony and Callie reappeared from the bathroom. Tony was now changed, _again_, into a set of scrubs, the searing redness of her skin even more apparent. She mumbled her apologies, wished Sofia a speedy recovery, and left without looking at anybody in the room. Sofia stayed, sobbing into her gramma's arms until Callie squatted in front of them.

"I'm sorry Mommy, I was being a big girl." Sofia leaned forward, falling into her mom's arms.

"It's okay. Tony's allergic to fabric softener, you didn't know." Callie stroked her distraught daughter's head feeling completely torn. On one hand, she swore she had mentioned it, one of them had, but on the other hand, how could she be angry with her daughter for trying to help out? Everybody was upset and Callie couldn't make anybody feel better. She felt herself thrown back five years trying to satisfy everybody, take care of everybody, and desperately failing. She was so tired of feeling guilty. She was so tired of feeling like a failure.

After everybody left and Sofia was put to bed, Callie called her girlfriend to check on her. Tony wasn't_ as_ angry any longer and after getting meds into her system, the rash was almost all gone. She sounded tired, which was a side-affect so Callie kept it short. She apologized over and over again, promising just a night for the two of them the following day. Sofia was going to a slumber party and they'd have one of their own. It'd been a tumultuous time for them since Sofia returned from Seattle, and they needed some one-on-one time, Callie knew this. Tomorrow she'd make it up to Tony;_ nothing_ was going to get in the way.

**Busted**

"Give me your mother's number Sofia?" the tone dripping with anger. Sofia looked up at the tempered gray eyes that had zoned in on her. She bit her lip as she brought her mobile phone out of her pocket. Opening the phone book she bypassed mommy and went straight to mama. Pressing call, she delicately handed the woman her mobile, offering a small smile as the exchange was made.

"Good evening, would I be speaking to Sofia's mother? That's great, I'm Tessa's mother. I would like it if you could please come and pick up your daughter. Unfortunately, I can't have this sort of behavior in my house." Tessa's mom looked at Sofia and then looked to the scene of the crime.

"Um, okay?" Unsure why she was getting this phone call, but hearing the anger in the woman's voice, she pushed those thoughts aside. "May I ask what she has done?" Arizona closed her eyes, waiting to hear what her daughter had done this time.

"She played a few pranks tonight with clear plastic wrap. Three pranks, to be exact, but I let the wrapping of one of the other children to a chair go. The plastic wrap on the toilet seat was pushing it, as I did not enjoy cleaning that up, but I couldn't take it any more when she purposely endangered the other kids." Tessa's mother was cut off as Arizona tried to defend her daughter. Sofia was a brat sometimes, she had been the victim of her pranks on occasion, but she didn't believe that she would intentionally hurt people, they were childish, never nasty.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it, Sofia's pranks are playful."

"She stuck plastic wrap across the bottom of the door frame, hid and when everyone was settled jumped out scaring the other children causing a stampeded and Grant tripped on the plastic. He has carpet burns on his elbows and she's lucky that's all that happened." Sofia tried to keep her face straight as the older woman flailed her unused arm around, her voice getting higher as she reached the climax of events.

"Okay, I'm really sorry. Yes Sofia's behavior is unacceptable. Would you please text me your address and I'll come and get her and take her _home_." Arizona momentarily froze at that thought before remembering she was still on the phone. Clearing her throat she continued. "I'm very sorry, about my daughter and she will be punished for it. I'll be there soon."


	6. Your Life Has Been A Message In A Bottle

**A/N**: Just to address a few things that have come up in reviews. There have been a lot of guest reviews so we haven't been able to reply to you directly/personally. We totally understand that not everyone has to have an account, they just like to read/review and we accept any review but if you really have a problem, please do PM us and we will be glad to hear you out.

Next, **yes **this is nothing like Dystopia. I had a lot of freedom with it because it was AU while this is running from the canon storyline. I had been writing Dystopia for a year and a half and I wanted to try something different. Writing is about learning and I'm learning with this story and I appreciate your patience and understanding. We all have to start somewhere and for me, this type of canon is where I want to step out of my comfort zone and try something new.

Another point: We are trying to mash our own life knowledge together with our take on Callie and Arizona from what the writers of the show give us. That's always hard because it's so split, people interpret things differently, this is just **our **opinions. By all means tell us what you think, but please don't blast the characters just because you don't like them, that is just childish.

In addressing the mixed emotions when it comes to the pranking: I (Sadie) come from a split marriage; it happened when I was nine. We hated my step mom, and made her time with us horrible for no other reason than she was with my dad and we wanted our parents back together. I have 3 kids under the age of 9, the youngest being 3. They make themselves ill when they don't want to go to bed or out or do a chore. I get the 14 things that are wrong with them to try and avoid. They hide my car keys, they've hidden my house keys which trust me when your partner leaves for work in the morning and has locked you in and you're late for the school run...It's not fun. Yes, Sofia's behaviour is escalating but everything will come out. Children have no filter, it embarrasses the hell out me at times when my 8 yr old asks in her best stage whisper: why that lady is so fat, is she having 10 babies...or is it she just likes pie! She's not trying to be nasty, it's the way their brain works. In regards to Cristina: I also have the inappropriate friends who think they're doing right by me, but make matters worse. I also have a very kind MIL who actually likes me better than her own child and her encouragement while appreciated isn't always very appropriate either. (I'm loveable and a dork apparently...oh and I gave her grandchildren! )

We wanted to write a story, something that stirs emotions be it happy, sad or just blindly stupid and funny. Every story needs an antagonist or there just wouldn't be a story. Our story has 4, not one big baddie but 4 characters who all think they are doing what is best. Most of you are getting it, thank you for reading it and enjoying it. But that's the point, read and enjoy. It's time consuming and stressful to write a story to begin with but when reviews are just plain awful or attacking, it makes writers (like ourselves) feel it's not worth it to continue. We have loved, loved, loved writing this and appreciate all proper feedback whether _constructive criticism _or praise but please keep it in those categories or somewhere in between. Thank you very muchly.

X- Sadie and Nic

**Thank you's **as always go to our lovely friends. Zoe as always helps me out so much, StopBreathe was a big help as well. Gene throughout this story has gave us food for thought and Thank you to Shinata-Riyoko who beta'd this for us. You are all blessings behind computer screens.

**QUESTION FOR READERS-** Would you rather have longer chapters with less updates per week or more updates and shorter chapters? Our chapters are ranging from about 4000 words per chapter to this one which is well over 7000 words. Shorter chapters will be about 2000 words with more than 2 updates in a week.

* * *

**Chapter 6 Your Life Has Been A Message In A Bottle**

**I See A Red Door And I Want It Painted Black**

Standing in front of the shiny red door, Arizona motioned to knock on the door before freezing and composing herself. She wasn't calming herself for the good of having to deal with an uptight mother, but on the drive over she had already decided that she was going to use this as an excuse to finally try and talk to Callie, and knew exactly the reaction she would get off of Sofia. Arizona knew that Sofia got Tessa's mom to phone her because Sofia knew Callie would go mental. Blowing out some air to displace the messy curl that had fallen onto her cheek she finally knocked the door.

"Hi, can I help you?" The tall blonde stood at the door confused at who was in front of her. While usually she only dealt with Barbara, she'd spoken to Callie on a number of occasions over the phone and once, a passing of 'hello' on the playground, but this certainly wasn't the same woman she'd been expecting.

"Mama!" Sofia exclaimed and ran through the open door into Arizona's arms.

"You, young lady stand here." She pointed next to her before pasting on an awkward smile and looking up at the other mother. "Hi pleased to meet you I'm Sofia's mother." She knew by the look on the woman's face that there was confusion. "Her _other _mother." "I want to apologize for her behavior. Trust me when I tell you this is not the way she has been raised. I'm taking her home to Callie right now." Arizona took Sofia's sleepover bag from the woman, and apologized again while Sofia's eyes widened when she finally processed the words that had left her mother's lips.

Walking back to the car, Sofia finally broke the silence. "Mama, I thought you'd take me back to Gramma's, we can't go home cuz Mommy has _really_ important work. She'll be _really _upset if we bother her." Emphasizing her words, Sofia tried hard to encourage her mother to do anything but go home.

"You should have thought about that before you pulled those stunts, Sofia. Now cone of silence the entire ride home." Arizona held tight to her daughter's hand when she felt the slight shaking under her grip. Sofia was clearly upset and she needed to get to the bottom of this. "What on earth were you thinking? You could have really hurt someone. That's not like you, Baby." Arizona examined her daughter's features as she helped strap her in. "If you didn't want to disrupt Mommy, then why did you do such a thing?" Arizona stared straight into Sofia's eyes; she was biting her lip as though trying to keep the truth in. When she saw her eyes widen, she realised what was going on and her mood lifted slightly at Sofia's innocence. "Cone is lifted!" Arizona tried to keep her mouth from curling up as Sofia sucked in a huge gasp of air.

"Mama" She sighed before looking at her pleadingly. "Member the boy I told you about, he was at the party." Sofia couldn't make eye contact with her mother. "He had everybody saying mean things, Mama. And he pulled my hearing aid out when I wouldn't show him it."

"Oh..." Arizona sighed realizing that overdoing punishment only secured her daughter's fears, and still after all these years she was unable to really do much about it. Call it guilt or whatever you want; call her a bad mother, but sometimes you defended your child even when they were wrong. "You know we've told you to ignore him and Baby, certainly not take matters into your own hands." Sofia began to tear up and Arizona could see all the signs of this turning into Sofia crying and causing herself to have a fit. She wasn't going to get any more information out of her daughter tonight. "Now lets get us home," Arizona watched her daughter's eyes light up and she realized what she'd said. Her heart pulled at that thought. "I mean _your _home."

Arizona normally drove incredibly slowly when she had Sofia in the car, but this was taking the piss slightly, cars around her were not amused, but she needed time to figure out what she would say to Callie._ Hi, I've been in town for a while now, but I've been too scared to come and see you, but Sofia got in trouble and she called me because she knew I was in town and I told her to keep secrets from you._ Arizona _finally _started panicking, no matter how she went about this, things were about to get loud and very messy. While she missed Callie's Spanish rants, being the subject of said rants was not how she wanted to be reintroduced to them.

**The Prodigal Son Returns**

Sofia stood with her eyes pointed at the ground, kicking the top of her shoe waiting for Arizona to knock on her door. Just as she brought her fist down to touch the doorframe Callie's voice could be heard, that raspy laugh followed by her sexy almost a song voice.

"Tony, make sure you're naked by the time I get in there, you know the adult slumber party rules!" Callie grabbed for her discarded robe as she heard the knock at the door. Securing the robe's belt over her lacy negligee, she opened the door just as she finished her sentence. She was presented with two pairs of eyes. Looking down she saw small eyes with a look of guilt and annoyance in them compared to the bright sparkling blue ones with the shine of sadness in them staring right back at her.

"Arizona..." Callie's soft words caught in her throat as she took in the vision of her ex-wife in front of her, trying to get some moisture back, she took what seemed like a very obvious gulp. Arizona was just as beautiful, she gave a slight smile before her brain kicked into gear and all the heartache of the past came back with a one-two punch to the gut, contorting her smile into the snarl that left her mouth next. "Wha … what are you doing here?"

Callie looked between her ex-wife and daughter, her face contorted with confusion, surprise, shock, and then anger, but before any one emotion could take hold, embarrassment and mortification surged to new heights as a red blush quickly crept its way up her chest, coloring her cheeks.

"Callie Baby, come to bed, I bet I can get you to scream _Banana_ first. Who was at the door?" A slender redhead in a barely-there, very sheer, negligee appeared in the doorway to Callie's bedroom in clear view of the opened front door.

When Callie turned and saw her lover, realizing her dress or lack of dress more accurately, she threw the front door, slamming it shut on her daughter and ex-wife.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought they were already gone. Who was that?" Tony looked at the shock on her lover's face; she'd never seen Callie look so pale.

"My um … my … ex-wife." Callie choked out her reply.

Tony laughed, what an absurd joke. Callie didn't see or talk to her ex-wife; never mind the fact the woman was terrified to fly, so there was no way in hell that behind the heavy, steel door stood the woman in question. "You're kidding! Who was it really?"

"No. No I'm not. Go … put clothes on for Christ's sake." Callie growled angrily. "Oh my God, she saw … she saw you in … in that." She didn't mean to yell at her girlfriend, but her mind was all over the place. Arizona … Arizona Robbins was standing at her front door with her daughter and they … they both not only_ heard_ Callie, but they_ saw_ her lover in … in almost could clearly see everything her girlfriend had to share and more. Pert nipples straining against the fabric were clear as day to anybody within a ten mile radius and ... _Oh God, _it was more than obvious she wasn't wearing a shred of anything else _under_ the negligee. She rubbed her hands over her face; this was a dream, right? A fucking nightmare.

"I should leave." Tony could take a hint, and while she shouldn't worry about being there, it was_ her_ right, Callie was_ her_ lover, there was no place in this reunion for the redhead. "I'll be quick." She promised

"Please." Was all Callie could manage as panic rose with bile in her throat. Trying her best to compose herself, she reopened the door, both Arizona and Sofia standing wide-eyed in the same place she'd left them.

"She's here? Important work huh?" Sofia sneered, marching past Callie and into her apartment.

Callie stood back to let Arizona in as well, completely lacking for words._ Why are you here? How are you here? When did you get here? Why is Sofia not at her slumber party? Oh my God, what did you see? What did you hear? Why are you here, Arizona?_ But nothing would come out; she was stunned speechless. Her level of mortification matched that of the obvious distress she was feeling, the look of panic setting up camp on her face.

"Sofia, go to your room." Arizona ordered. She'd had enough of her daughter's attitude when it came to her own partners and the nasty tone her daughter spoke to Callie really annoyed her; this was already going to be loud and messy, and she didn't need her daughter making things worse by purposely pissing off her ex-wife.

"This is Mommy's house, you can't tell me …"

"GO NOW!" Arizona barked, the steely look in her eyes was not one you argued with.

"FINE!" Sofia yelled back. "I thought you were the cool one." She mumbled audibly as she stomped off, leaving her moms in a silent face off behind her.

They remained frozen in their spots, neither one saying a word. Separated by no more than ten feet, they just stood there staring at the other. Arizona's heart was trying to beat out of her chest and Callie had lost all feeling in every appendage of her body. Not even the slamming of Sofia's bedroom door brought them out of their stupor. It was a show down; who was going to crack under the pressure first. Callie stared at her with an intensity that should have been held only for the bedroom, while Arizona stood in an innocent posture awaiting her fate. It wasn't until Tony opened the bedroom door, tiptoeing toward the front door that either woman moved.

Both Callie and Arizona looked over at the woman trying desperately to get out, as if she was a teenager trying to sneak out before her boyfriend's dad could catch her and realize that she wasn't over doing Algebra homework. Biting her lip, looking guilty as hell, Tony swallowed her pride and held her head up as high. Well, as high as she could under the circumstances of Callie's ex-wife catching her in barely anything and possibly overhearing their dirty talk. The air was ridiculously thick with the stress of the moment and the way the other two were looking at each other, Tony couldn't help but feel at even more unease than the awkward situation allotted her. She couldn't pinpoint exactly the expression on her lover's face, but it wasn't one she'd ever seen before, and it wasn't exactly entirely anger; if she really dissected it, which she didn't want to do, she swore it was a look of longing. A look that, if later on she took the time to think about it, would probably break her heart.

"Um, you must be Dr Robbins." She walked toward the blonde woman, hand extended. "Sofia's mom, right? I'm Dr Tonya Rusakov, Tony." Tony already felt inferior in front of this woman, she didn't normally introduce her self as Doctor straight away, but here she felt she had too.

Arizona wasn't prepared for any of this, not _seeing_ Callie, not interrupting her … her sexual activities, and sure as hell not meeting her lover, her future spouse. Her lover who was a very attractive female redhead...A woman, female not male, and she wanted to murder Cristina. Cristina kept telling her it was a man or maybe Cristina never said. Didn't she? She wouldn't lead Arizona astray, right? "Oh yeah. Sofia's mama. Yeah, that's me." She shook the woman's hand, her palm as sweaty as the one loosely grasped in her own.

"Well, I should get going." She said, still shaking Arizona's hand, doing her best to avoid prolonged eye contact, neither woman sure of what to do or say next. It wasn't as if Callie was any help as she stood literally holding her breath at their introduction. Maybe she was waiting for blows to be thrown or something catty to be said, but it was obvious she didn't trust one of them to behave, but which one? And was she secretly rooting for one to beat the other? Which one? "It was nice meeting you." She pulled her hand from Arizona's and walked toward her lover. "I'll call you later, Sweetie." She whispered in Callie's ear, placing a small peck on her cheek. Catching her girlfriend's eye, Callie mouthed_ I'm sorry_ as the redhead smiled with understanding and let herself out.

"So, that was your …" Fiancée. Arizona couldn't say the word, fiancée.

"Tony. Yeah." Callie stood, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"She's nice. Pretty." Arizona shrugged; she didn't know what else to say. As if Callie would care what she thought in regards to _her_ girlfriend. As if Callie would care about anything she thought.

"She is." Callie's brain had still not caught up with everything that had just happened.

"So, hi? Surprise?" Arizona looked hopeful that any anger was now dispelled from awkwardness but Callie still look mortified.

Sighing deeply, Callie glanced toward the shut bedroom door, where her daughter presided, before returning her attention to the woman swaying awkwardly in front of her. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to rein everything in, she had a rush of emotions and wanted to explode, but knew this was not the time and place for it. It was as if she was being completely taken over, her body shaking with anger, her fists clenched tightly to her sides and she could feel the rapid beat of her heart against her chest; it was all very powerfully overwhelming, but Sofia would no doubt be trying to eavesdrop and she was not ready for a hundred and one questions from her daughter the next day. It was that thought that had her moving away from the hallway where her daughter's bedroom could be found and to the furthest corner of the condo, the kitchen. Composing herself Callie started the conversation as she saw Arizona's sudden shyness. "Do I ask why you are here, Arizona? Or why our daughter isn't at the slumber party she was dropped off at hours ago? Or why_ you_ have her, _here _in Pennsylvania? Or … Cristina!" Callie's brain notched into next gear as the shock of seeing her ex wife again took control of her mouth. Her thoughts on trying to keep this quiet were quickly becoming harder to achieve. "Did Cristina call you? Are you here because Cristina's meddling where she doesn't belong? This has to do with Tony, doesn't it? Did she call and tell you to come out here because of Tony? I knew she didn't like her. I mean Cristina's rude to everybody, but there was just something behind her usual less than chipper attitude. And you, what, Cristina calls and tattles on me, and you come out here, why to investigate? To have your say in_ my_ life? You … you lost that right years ago, Arizona Robbins." And here came the Spanish, the battle of Callie's brain over mouth had finally tipped, her mouth victorious once again. Throwing her arms in the air, Callie started pacing, yelling at Arizona, yelling about Arizona, just yelling and Arizona couldn't understand one damn word her ex-wife was saying, but Callie's body language her tense shoulders, her flailing arms, her defensive stance, it was all enough warning for her to keep her mouth shut until Callie was done.

Arizona was expecting this, expecting the far from warm welcome, but it still crushed her just a little, okay a lot, that seeing Callie for the first time in so many years was nothing but a disappointment all around.

It took forty-five minutes for a stalemate to be reached. The first twenty or so were of Callie marching around her apartment, ranting in Spanish, sending Arizona dirty looks between pauses. She straightened up her already immaculately clean kitchen. She drank two bottles of water, her throat parched from all her ranting, and she folded an entire load of laundry. Every time a piece of her girlfriend's clothing came up in the wash, she started cursing Cristina and Arizona all over again. When it occurred to her that she wasn't the one to have washed and dried this batch of laundry, that Sofia was trying to assert her maturity and help around that house with more chores without being asked, that's when Callie finally calmed down. And then it occurred to her that she also had to deal with a daughter that appeared to be in big trouble; why else would Arizona be here, why else would Sofia_ not_ be at her party/slumber party? _Did she make a mistake when reading the invitation?_ Her head was spinning with so many thoughts that she was trying to remember what the damn card had said. Nope, definitely mixed birthday party and then a slumber for just the girls when the main party was over. That was what it had said.

"Where do we start?" Exhausted and drained, Callie collapsed onto the couch across from where Arizona had taken a seat not long into the start of everything. She was no longer pissed off, well to the point of yelling; now she was so much more. Callie was scared of the woman across from her; she'd been gone going on six years and still just the sight of Arizona was enough to screw with her emotions.

Arizona swallowed the lump that had been growing in her throat since she picked up her daughter from the party._ Where do we start?_ Was there even a clear answer to that?

"Sofia?"

"Fine. We can start with Sofia." Callie rolled her eyes and shook her head; figures, that Arizona would avoid the hard questions.

"She was pulling some pretty nasty pranks at her party and she called me. Tessa's mom told her to call her mom." Arizona bit her lip leaving out obviously major details.

"So you flew all the way to Pennsylvania to pick her up instead of telling Tessa's mother to call me? How valiant of you, Arizona. Was it that you didn't trust me to properly punish her, or you just happened to have some free time on your hands and you put yourself on a plane for a five hour flight, overcoming your biggest fear in the world,_ just_ to be a little more hands on in your parenting? Now? After all this time?" Callie snapped. She wasn't going to stand for bullshit of any kind.

"I didn't ask to live a country away from my daughter Callie. You can't hold that against me. I do the freaking best I can." Arizona yelled back, her own temper barely restrained.

"Don't. _Don't you dare go there._" Callie warned, her finger pointing accusingly at the blonde. Arizona backed off immediately as she watched a mixture of pain and anger flash into her ex-wife's eyes.

"Truth?" Arizona waved her white flag.

A few bitter retorts were at the tip of Callie's tongue._ Truth? You finally found out what that was about? You gave up your family to avoid facing the truth, so I'm supposed to believe anything that comes out of your mouth now? You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you in the fucking face._ But none of thoughts found their way out of Callie's mouth, which was a good thing. Her bitterness hadn't waned any over the years and rightfully so considering they never addressed anything, as was their usual style. Instead of feeding the monster, Callie nodded, not trusting herself not to vocalize her thoughts.

Sighing, Arizona picked up the blanket next to her; she needed something to occupy her hands. "This isn't Cristina's fault. Well, not entirely."

Callie laughed bringing a small amount of relief to Arizona's nerves. "Not entirely doesn't help her situation very much. Cristina has never been shy about masterminding her little stunts, and I can't help but think this was just another in the long line of many."

"Yeah well she has a way of..."

"Being totally inappropriate?" Callie smiled, finishing Arizona's thought without a second thought to how it felt to_ still_ be so in sync with her ex-wife.

"Yeah." Arizona smiled, relaxing a little more. "Sofia called me."

"I know. That's what got us_ here_." Callie took the moment to calmly rub her temple, all the emotions in her head causing pain like clapping thunder; it came and went.

"No, Sofia called me a week or so back; she was hysterical. I couldn't calm her down, I was in the OR with Cristina." Arizona paused hoping Callie would put two and two together so that she wouldn't have to go any further.

Laughing again, Callie shook her head. "Cristina again?"

Arizona nodded still hoping her ex-wife would put the time-line together. She wasn't sure she could say what came next; it still broke her heart to just think it.

"Continue please. Why was Sofia hysterical?" All anger drained at the thought of her daughter's pain, whatever the reason may be.

"She was inconsolable over coming home to find out, to meet your… to meet Tony. She felt replaced, was afraid she was losing you. I tried to tell her to be happy for you, that you needed somebody in your life to take care of you since … anyway, but she wouldn't stop crying and Cristina stepped in and told her_ we_ were coming to Pennsylvania. I couldn't tell her no after that."

"Cristina has been here for _days_." Callie looked at Arizona with confusion.

"I know." Arizona answered quietly. Callie might not have been able to put two and two together with the time-line of events, but she sure as hell would figure out that if Arizona came with Cristina, that she too had been here for the duration of her visit.

"So tell me, Arizona, what the hell have you been doing for the past few days IN PENNSYLVANIA?" Callie's voice was rising in anger again. "And just what was your plan? Come in and tell me I can't live my life the way I see fit? Tell me how to raise my daughter? Obviously the cool mom would be able to give me pointers since she gets angelic Sofia, and isn't the one that gets the bratty seven year old on a daily basis. The cool mom would of course be able to tell me how to do my job since I'm obviously screwing up our child. Why else would you be here?"

Arizona looked uneasily in the direction of her daughter's room and back at her ex-wife; this wasn't an argument she wanted to have in front of Sofia. Yes Callie was far off base, but she had valid fears and Arizona knew that addressing them tonight would throw them into uncharted territory which would only have their backs up, which would only lead to even more screaming in the end. That was not why she was here._ But why was she here?_ She could have told Cristina to go alone. She could have dealt with Sofia over the phone. Arizona wasn't sure why she was here.

"I came with Cristina because … because I felt like I had little choice. I wasn't coming here to tell you how to live your life, I was going to show Sofia that this was just a new chapter in her life and while change sucks, it wasn't the end of the world and she would be fine. I trust your taste in people, I knew you weren't bringing someone in her life that was going to hurt her, and I was going to help her see that. You always think the worst of me Callie and I get it, you have every right to feel that way, but I wouldn't mind if you trusted me a bit too. Sofia wasn't ready for Tony in her life and I was going to help her adapt, okay?" Arizona wiped at the tears she didn't even know was falling. Taking a calming breath, Arizona looked hard at her shoes unable to look Callie in the eyes. "Contrary to popular belief, I just want you to be happy." She whispered. "I _know_ Sofia's tactics, I know how easily she could ruin this for you and you… you deserve this, Callie."

It was another standoff, both women lacking for words; both of them a storm of emotions. Callie was so angry, so so angry, but Arizona's words, the pain behind them, the reasoning for them, they dampened that burning anger. Now she just felt drained, her head felt like it would explode.

"You could have called, Arizona. You didn't have to fly out here. I know that wasn't easy for you." Callie looked everywhere but the sad blue eyes across from her. She'd been out here over five years now, and Arizona hadn't even come out when Barbara begged her daughter to come out for Christmas every single year. Callie knew a lot of Arizona's resistance had to do with her, but she also knew that her fear of planes only cemented her resistance altogether.

"Would you have answered?" It wasn't meant as a challenge or shot at Callie's inability to communicate with Arizona outside of written technology, it was an honest question.

Shame colored Callie's cheeks._ No. No she wouldn't have._

"I know all of this looks bad, but it was never my intention to have our daughter lie to you, I just wasn't ready to face you." Arizona was being honest.

"It's okay." Callie whispered. The pain of the reminder that Arizona hated her so much that she couldn't even live on the same coast as her; that came back ten-fold. "I'll, we can talk to her later about… about lying and how it's not good, and adults make mistakes, we_ all_ make mistakes."

Arizona nodded in agreement. Callie's lack of anger about the entire situation was scary, because it meant that she was hurting and that was never her intention, to hurt Callie ever again.

"How long are you here?" Callie asked.

"Another week."

"The perks of owning a hospital huh?" Callie teased trying desperately to ease some of the lingering tension in the room.

"One of the few." Arizona gave a small smile.

"While you're here, you should see Sofia as much as possible." Callie offered her olive branch.

"Thank you." They were being civil, a complete 180 from an hour ago, and both women knew it was just a cover for whatever they were feeling but couldn't tell each other. Could never tell each other.

"Have you seen your parents?" Sofia knew Arizona was in town, but Barbara would never keep that secret because it was too important to her to have her family, together. Their mother wanted nothing more than for her daughters to make up, somehow, to figure things out. She didn't see divorce as final, not when she was certain they still loved each other, but they'd lost faith in themselves, they'd lost faith in each other. All she wanted was for their happiness and she knew they'd never find it, not without each other. Barbara never hid her feelings on the matter so if she knew Arizona was here, she would have made her daughter suck it up and deal with things, see her ex-wife. Callie knew Arizona hadn't told her parents before she shook her head, shame now coloring her ex-wife's cheeks.

"Look, go home. You need to be with your family for a bit. I'll … I'll call you and give you Sofia's schedule tomorrow. I'll deal with the pranking issue too."

Family, Arizona's family was here, in this apartment. She needed to be_ here._ She didn't realize how much she needed it until she was here and she didn't want to leave. But it wasn't her home, and another woman already was filling her place. Nodding, not trusting her voice to crack, Arizona got to her feet, heading for the door with Callie a short distance behind.

"Um, about Sofia and the pranking." Arizona turned her head around, her body still facing the door. "I grounded her. No slumber parties for a month, no play-dates until you give her permission. Um, if you want that to include me..."

Callie smiled, quickly interrupting. "Moms don't count." She appreciated Arizona doling out the punishment even if her sudden appearance here complicated things. Complicated things, a lot.

"Thank you." She pulled open the door, quietly slipping out.

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"It was good to see you Callie." Arizona quickly shut the door behind her, not wanting to hear or_ not_ hear Callie's response.

"You too." Callie frowned. "You too."

Stopping at her daughter's bedroom door, Callie quietly opened it, peeking in to see her daughter passed out in bed. It was late now, too late to talk about what happened, so she let her sleep. Tomorrow they'd deal with things, tonight Callie just wanted to forget everything and disappear into the welcome darkness of slumber.

After sending off a text to her girlfriend, apologizing for her reaction early and thanking her for being understanding, Callie folded herself into bed. Tony responded asking if Callie wanted company, but as Tony wasn't the company Callie was craving, she didn't answer. She wasn't going to lie to her girlfriend, not when she wasn't even sure what was going on in her head. Closing her eyes and pulling up the blankets to cocoon around her, Callie let the tears come unhindered.

**Where's Waldo?**

Barbara came through the door, letting herself in like she always had done in the past, except being greeted by a cheerful welcome was not on the books today. Coming from her daughter's hotel room where she'd dropped Sofia off for one on one time with her Mama, Barbara grew concerned when Arizona had barely even cracked a smile at either of their company. If Callie was half as bad off as Arizona, and probably stewing in her emotions, Barbara was going to need some intervention. Her worries over Callie were only that much more after the numerous phone calls in question of her whereabouts and health. Both women were in a rut since their long in the making reunion only days before and neither were talking about it, to anybody, _still _ignoring the damn elephant in the room all these years later. No, Barbara didn't condone Arizona's delayed notification upon her visit to Pennsylvania, but she understood the unspoken fears on both sides, and her own hurt feelings would have to wait to be addressed until she had sorted out her daughters.

"Oh dear." She tutted at what she saw when coming into the very dark apartment where Callie sat on her couch watching daytime television, but not before she clearly caught what was on the television screen as it was quickly switched over. Add that to what looked to be sour cream being consumed directly from the plastic container and, "Gray sweats." She clucked her tongue again.

Gray sweats were _never _a good sign; they were Callie's depressed wardrobe. Every year on their anniversary, Callie slipped into a dark place, always wearing the same outfit and it seemed like Arizona's current presence in her life had the same effect as her absence. Barbara easily recognized the signs early on in Callie's move out here. They were the same clothes she wore during her self-pitying moments when Arizona had Sofia for the holidays, when Callie was PMSing far harder than usual, and when she felt fat or ugly. All women had those types of clothes in their wardrobe, but Barbara hated seeing them out of Callie's closet and on her body.

"I brought dinner." She placed the bag on the dining table and made her way into the room, opening closed curtains and letting the sun shine in as she approached Callie on the couch. "Thank God." She laughed when she realized the tub in Callie's lap was that of cottage cheese and her daughter was not directly eating sour cream and only sour cream.

"I'm not hungry." She shovelled another spoonful into her mouth. It was eat this or devour every ounce of junk food in her apartment, and then call for a grocery delivery to get more. So she ate cottage cheese like it was going out of business. And her stomach was starting to revolt at the thought of putting any more curds into it.

"Come. Eat. Now." Barbara turned off the television and pulled Callie up off of the couch by her arm.

"Why aren't you mad? She's been here all that time and hadn't even told you. _You_... her own mother!" She slumped herself down onto the chair at the table and watched as Barbara unloaded the Thai food from its bag.

"I never said I wasn't mad." Barbara answered sincerely.

"I'm mad." Barbara watched Callie's arms fold up over her chest in an almost protective manner. As though trying to keep her heart in her chest.

"Okay." She shrugged. This wasn't mad Callie. She could handle mad Callie. Sad Callie broke her heart and _this _was sad Callie.

"Why is she here?"

"She's not, she's in her hotel room."

"Barb!" Callie sighed when she wanted to yell, but not at Barbara. Never at Barbara. Even on the nights when she picked Sofia up being strung out on sugar like all grandparents did, Callie could never yell at her. She wanted to yell at Arizona, but that wasn't going to happen. Ever.

"Tony called me."

Callie shrugged avoiding eye contact and opening up her dumplings, quickly shoving them into her mouth before she was forced to answer.

"King _and _Polly, too. Nobody's seen you in days. You've called in sick at work and won't answer the door or phone."

She shrugged again, not really knowing if it was that she didn't care or that she didn't want to care.

"They're worried. I'm worried."

"They all have keys." Not that it would have worked because she also had the chain lock secured, but Barbara didn't need to know that. The only reason it wasn't when Barbara arrived was because Cristina was due over, and she had little choice but to let that woman in or face her wrath, and that wasn't something Callie had the strength to do. Cristina's texts were clear, she was on her way over sometime in the evening, and in no uncertain terms, she was coming in even if she had to beat the damn door down. And she could use a Cristina night where she wasn't grilled on every second of her life, what she was feeling, what she was thinking. Cristina wouldn't care; she didn't care. So Callie wouldn't mind an evening without the third degree. And then came Barbara and her fifteenth degree. Something she so didn't need tonight.

"You wanna talk about what's going on with you? Tony's up in arms trying to figure out if it was something _she _did. King ... well, King is being King and overreacting, I know that. But even Polly called, Callie." Barbara's voice was laced with real concern, and that only made Callie feel guilty. Guiltier.

"I'm processing." Callie's eye's concentrated on the design on the side of the carton, anything trying to keep her eye's away from Barbara.

"What are you processing? Want to talk about it?" Callie could actually _hear_ her head tilt, just in the tone she was using.

"No!" Callie snapped.

"You sure?"

"I'm dealing with it, okay?" What in the hell was Barbara getting at? This was getting old really fast. "I'll deal with it."

"Alone?" Which was never a good thing, Barbara knew this for a fact.

"What? No!" Callie shook her head. _Yes_. "Cristina's coming over later."

"Is that a good idea? Aren't you two sympathetic drinkers together?" Barbara pushed.

Callie pushed away from the table, jumping up at the insult. "I'm not an alcoholic, Barbara and I'm insulted you'd insinuate such a thing. I'm processing, okay? My ex-wife flies fifteen thousand million miles to come here, hides for days, and shows up unannounced, so I'm processing, okay?" Not anytime, in the past ten years, had she ever raised her voice to Barbara. "I don't know what to feel. I haven't seen her since she put me on the damn plane, okay? And she shows up and what am I supposed to feel? How would you feel if the woman you never got over, showed up? You hate her one second, want to strangle her and the next ... the next I want to forget everything and love her ... I never stopped, and so I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know how to feel what I'm feeling. I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know_. I don't know_. And a little space would be nice, okay? I just want everybody to leave me alone." Callie stormed off into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Barbara stood in silence; Callie had just turned into Sofia before her very eyes. Looking sadly at the door before she looked down and saw the mess Callie had left as she had vegetated in the lounge for god knows how long. Shaking her head she bent down and picked the cushions up from their discarded position on the floor, placing them back on the sofa. Stubbing her toe, Barbara looked down to see a DVD case sticking out from under the couch. Picking it up, she shook her head, sadness filling her. The cover of the case was a collage of photos from her daughters' wedding day, which meant the DVD that was supposed to be in the case was their wedding video, and she knew she could find _that _in the DVD player if she looked; she'd caught the tail end of white dresses dancing across the screen when she entered the apartment. Callie was reminiscing, which was fine to her, because it was obvious that she was going down memory lane. And she was voyaging to that painful place because she missed memory lane and in missing memory lane, Callie missed Arizona. She just couldn't admit it, even to herself, but Barbara knew better; she always did. Doing a quick scan of the place, she quickly finished tidying up, placing dirty dishes into the sink. Callie could deal with them later. Putting the left over cottage cheese and food into the fridge, she saw the bottle of tequila on the worktop. For a split second she thought about misplacing it, but decided that Callie would take real offence by that action.

One more quick look around the apartment, she reached Callie's bedroom door. Placing her ear lightly to it she could hear the muffled sobs. Knocking gentle before cracking the door ajar slightly, she looked sadly at the tousled hair thrown between pillows. "Callie Dear, I'll come back with Sofia tomorrow. No matter what happens dear, I will always love you as my own. You made sure my Arizona survived and for that I...well before I start bubbling like a baby I'm going to go. Bye Darling."

Callie waited until she heard the front door close before she turned onto her back looking at the ceiling and sighing, "I couldn't save my Arizona though!"

**I Wait In The Rain But I Don't Complain Because I Wait For You**

Hours later and a few drinks in, Cristina sat on the sofa reading through her emails. She was trying to keep focused on the list of heart surgeries she was losing out on, but her eyes kept flicking up to the pathetic mess of her friend who sat looking sorry for herself. Finally, Cristina cracked after the fourth unintentional sigh.

"Oh for god sake! Whatever is swirling around in that head of yours, spill before I change my mind."

Callie grabbed for another drink, choosing alcohol over words.

"You have ten seconds to put down that damn beer and talk to me." Cristina growled. "You look and sound like a kicked puppy, and you are ruining my stress-free, child-free, Arizona-free night, so get it out now before I pour this God damn beer over your head and slap it out of you."

Callie adjusted herself so that she was facing her. "I'm ... I don't know! Everybody's all up my ass about stuff. I can't get a break. It wasn't my fault we ended up here, so why do I have to fix it?"

"Wah wah wah wah, what are you five, pointing fingers? How about you tell me what's really going on so we can get on with our night of ignoring each other and drinking?" Cristina laughed when Callie shot her a glare.

"Fine. She can't just show up here and start interfering in my life. She gave that up when she screwed a woman she only knew for what _two_ days... She can't be here. This is my life. My home. I don't want her here." Callie looked sad and confused, her head and her heart having an epic battle.

"Yes you do." Cristina stated, as if it were as simple as that.

"No. NO I don't." Callie crossed her arms, but she couldn't even fool herself. "Yes I do. Damn it, I don't know. I have a life here without her. It took me years to move on. _Years_. And then I'm happy and finally in a good place and she shows up, and her being here, it screws with my head, okay?"

"Oh for fuck sake Callie, you haven't moved on so don't even bother lying to _me_ of all people! If this was a TV series I'm sure Ingrid Michaelson's music would be playing in the background as you mull over how shitty your life is...oh woe is me two people love me, one is everything I wanted. The other has a nasty habit of ripping my still beating heart from my chest but it continues to beat for her anyway because there is no getting over her. I think highly of you two ladies in a strictly platonic way of course, but you really need to figure it out together! Take your fingers out your asses and go talk like the adults you pretend you are. You have a daughter, my goddaughter that _you_ gave me responsibility over, and she can't keep living half-lives. Life isn't a TV series; you can't just wait for someone else to write your happy ending. You mend bones for a living Callie...bones take time to heal, cracks will always be there, but you take preventative measures to make sure they don't weaken or break again." Callie sat opened mouth at the rant that had left her friends mouth, she was right, but still, where did that come from?

Both women were interrupted when Callie's cell phone rang. The music started blaring out, filling the silence as the two women looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

Ingrid fricken Michaelson's voice mixed with a harmony of laughter filled the air.


	7. Gotta Stop Pretending

**AN: Thank you** as always for the wonderful reviews. We really do love hearing from you (yes we say that a lot but always from the bottom of our hearts is it true). Anyway, there's a warning for this chapter, the Rating of M finally does come into play for more than hard language or sexually suggestive scenes. You've been warned. =)

Tons of gratitude goes out to our huge family of helpers: Zoe. Gene. Stopbreathe. AND last but never least, our beta Shinata-Riyoko. They're the best!

Love and Hugs and Kisses,

Nic and Sadie

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Gotta Stop Pretending**

**Behind The Red Iron Curtain**

She sat outside OR-3, lying in wait and ready to pounce. Callie was avoiding her and she had no idea what else to do, who else to turn to. She had to talk to someone, and while King would never have been her first choice, because any information would be around the hospital within the hour, there was no other option; so here she was.

The board said King was doing a straightforward knee arthroscopy, which started twenty minutes ago. Tony had never really taken note of how long other operations outside of her field normally took to do until she became friends with Callie. Generally, the operation could take anywhere from thirty minutes to over an hour depending on the damage. Tony took great pride in the fact that her girlfriend had set the record of twenty-six minutes, and it annoyed her just how much Callie underestimated herself. When the green light outside the OR came on, she took note of the time.

The muffled sound from King laughing behind the OR door brought Tony back to focus as the it opened, and she saw Toby flirting with the anesthesiologist. He saw Tony sitting and smiled at her, quickly finishing his conversation, saying his goodbyes to his colleague.

"Not bad, thirty-two minutes. Callie's still got the crown though." Tony stood up, giving the man a shit eating grin.

"One day, Dr Rusakov, one day Callie Torres will be kicked off her throne. Did you see the ass on Victor ...he can put me under any day. Such a shame he wastes his time with boobs. I really don't see the attraction." Toby stared at Tony's chest and shook his head in mock disgust.

"I really have no idea how you manage to keep your love of the male anatomy under wraps here with the gossip nurses." Tony laughed at her friend.

"It's your fault Matchstick, you bring out the bitch in me. And you only need to show interest in the nurses here to avoid speculation; I'll flirt with anything. It's a game, a fun game. You should know; you were in my crosshairs for long enough before I realised it wasn't my pants you wanted in. Now I take it this isn't just a visit to rub in my face the fact that you're girlfriend is still Queen Bee of the hive." Toby looked at the sadness in his friend's eyes. "Okay Dr Rusakov, do you have time for a coffee? I would very much like a coffee and I have time before I need to check post ops. You, my dear, look as though you need to get something off your chest anyway. Let's go to my office, but if anyone sees you, I'm telling them we were having a hot and sweaty romp, and not that I was playing Dear Abby, okay?" He waited for her to crack a small smile. "I have a reputation to uphold after all." Toby held the door open and waited for Tony to enter.

"Thanks King...but who uses the word romp any more?" Tony walked past Toby and gave him a kiss on his scruffy, unshaven cheek.

King had a look out in the hall and saw a couple of nurses looking over whispering. He smirked, brought his finger to his mouth telling the women to 'sssh' before winking at them and closing the door. He held in his laughter as he could hear the hushed talk and giggling from outside. Looking over to the sofa he saw the defeated frame of Tony look up, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I'm losing her Toby, I can't win against _that _woman."

"Be careful honey, '_that woman'_ is still the mother of her daughter and you need to tread lightly there. So, tell me what's going on." Toby moved over to the coffee machine in the corner and made them both a coffee. There was a long pause as Tony reached for a tissue, wiping her eyes. He felt for her, they had been friends for three years now since Tony transferred back to the states and to _his _hospital. He cared for her, and knowing her big heart, it was hard for her to come to him, to talk poorly in any aspect about her lover. He knew her family had immigrated from Russia when she was a baby. Her parents had wanted to instill a lot of her Russian culture, so when she was with family she only spoke Russian. It had left her with an interesting mix of accents. She'd left the US shortly after med school having wanted to return to her roots and give something back. Working in the Central Clinical Hospital, the best hospital in Russia, where patients ranged from political, business, cultural and scientific elite of Russia she made a pretty pay check, but was disillusioned that while the hospital was "open to the public", its fees and charges was well beyond the means of most Russians. There was no chance for her to make a difference there, make changes in their regime, and that broke her heart. Her time in Russia had made her realize that, even though she was born there, the states were definitely home for her. Toby was already here when Callie started, he was self proclaimed King of Ortho, and when Callie had come, they had clashed a lot in the beginning few months. Fighting for surgeries or over the best approach. It wasn't until both had to work together on a particularly difficult and long hand surgery that the two of them found some common ground and bonded. The day ended with them drinking at the local bar. Their friendship flourished through a mutual appreciation for the others talents and they became a force to be reckoned with, individually as well as together. The two of them drew in many sports institutions who wanted the best and would pay handsomely for the them. Tony, Toby, and Callie, together, were a force to be reckoned with, but it seemed as if the threesome was falling apart at the seams. To be honest, he'd been waiting for Tony's visit since Callie's disappearing act, or more correctly, since Arizona Robbins magically appeared out of a puff of smoke and back into Callie's life. Taking the cups of coffee over to the couch and placing them on the table in front of them, he sunk down wrapping his arm around her shoulder for some comfort.

"You know more about Callie's history with Arizona. You know exactly what happened with them. Callie has only ever given me the abbreviated version. It's a taboo subject and I can't break through _those _walls." Tony shook her head. "I take it she told you that Arizona showed up?"

King nodded, waiting for Tony to get to the thick of things. This wasn't just about Callie's past, because Tony was supposed to have her future and that was what mattered now.

"I _knew _that Callie still had feelings for her, but she was so far out of the picture that I chose to ignore it. I know she loves me Toby. If I had any doubts, I wouldn't be here, but I also just _know _she loves her more." Tony sighed and rested her head on the back of the sofa. "She's ignoring me. If this wasn't about us, she'd let me in, even if superficially, but she won't because something's going on. What did I do? What can I do?"

"Firstly, Callie _does _love you. It's taken her a very long time to open that part of herself up to someone again. Callie wasn't looking for a relationship, you both became friends and that developed. So I have no doubt that she loves you, but honey, yes she will always love Arizona Robbins. They have a daughter together. They shared some of the most awful moments in their life together, and you can't forget that. What you need to do is think about it really carefully; can you be okay with that? She is always going to be there, she's Sofia's mother too, and that means she is part of the package. Forever." Toby rested his hand on Tony's lap in another sign of comfort. Tony shook her head and expelled a shaky breath.

"Sofia" She laughed bitterly. "She hates me. I mean _HATES_ in the 'I'm scared to stay over now because I think I'll wake up with her standing over me with a knife.' She's a brat who gets away with murder all the time, and poor Callie, she always seems to have to tell her things over and over again. She's spoiled and rude. I don't know how many times I've seen her ignore someone. I put up with it because it's Callie, and Callie's worth it and is _so damn _oblivious to what her daughter is doing. I don't want to start accusing Sofia because I know that Callie, well she's her daughter … but now with her ex here, it just seems to really have messed with Callie's head. She's mean, jumpy. Her temper is short with me. I mean, it's not only with me, but it was _never _with me before and now, now she's not answering my calls. It's like she's a totally different person, so if I even attempted to say anything about Sofia, I know it will explode in my face. Oh, and don't get me started on Cristina, that woman has the coldest stare known to man. I get the feeling she could actually give you a heart attack if she wanted too."

"I _love _that little evil one. She has spark..._and_ both hearing and lung issues." Tony looked at Toby with surprise, and then confusion, and _then _sadness that Callie hadn't told her. "Look, Callie doesn't talk about it unless the issue comes up, she probably didn't even realize that you didn't know. To be honest, Callie doesn't _see_ Sofia's problems as an issue to be discussed or warned about. They're part of her kid, she accepts them as that, end of story. It's personal for Cal, she will not ever let Sof's disabilities be anything more than a hindrance for her daughter's daily living. It's _very _p_ersonal _for her_._" Seeing the confusion in Tony's eyes, Toby realised he should explain as maybe Tony would realise that Sofia really was a sweet kid. "Look, when Callie was pregnant with Sofia they were in a really bad car crash, Callie nearly died..."

"Yeah, I knew about the car crash, but I didn't know she was pregnant at the time? Why would she leave that out?" Tony's confusion only increased.

"I take it you noticed _her_ scar then. She will only explain if asked, and never offers the information. She doesn't want people's pity, Sofia's alive and perfect in her eyes, and that's all that matters. I only know these things because, and well I like to pry. Anyway Sofia was delivered at just under twenty four weeks, the doctor in charge at the time never administered the steroids to mature her lungs. She was in really bad shape and wasn't breathing when delivered. Arizona saved her; you could say she breathed life back into their daughter. But you know the difficulty with preemies; if they survive, they can have all sorts of developmental disabilities. In Sofia's case, she has been really lucky, if there is such a thing when you're talking about disabilities, developmental or otherwise. The reason Callie has to repeat herself or shout is that the little madam won't keep her hearing aid in when she's in the house. You don't notice it either way because she always wears her hair over her ear. Callie got her a really discreet one because she gets teased at school." Toby watched as he saw shame pass over Tony's features.

"I thought all the coughing fits was just her trying to manipulate Callie. Oh god, I'm a monster, no wonder she doesn't like me." Tony shook her head feeling really bad that she thought Sofia had done it on purpose.

"You can't really blame Callie for not mentioning all of this, her ex-wife used her disability against Callie in the most awful ways so because of that, Sofia doesn't get that 'Get Out Of Jail Free Card'."

"What's Arizona Robbins' disability besides letting go of the best thing she ever had without a fight?" One thing Tony did know was that Arizona's loss was her gain, and she silently thanked that woman every day she had with Callie. It took plenty of time to get through Callie's walls, but the end result was worth it.

"We'll get to that, patience my young grasshopper." He smiled when a grin met Tony's lips as well. Toby could only be so serious for so long before he needed some type of comic relief, and they were _just _getting to the thick of things. "Anyway, I wouldn't worry about a murder in your sleep, but she isn't going to give up Callie all that easily. It's been just them for years. _You_ know you are the first person Callie's ever brought home. That will just take time."

"I've got time." She agreed. She'd give Sofia all the time in the world if it meant she still got Callie herself.

"And about Cristina … she's been through a lot with them too. Did you know she was on the plane crash with Arizona and Mark?" Toby paused for a moment as Tony shook her head in the negative. "It was a tight group, they all looked out for each other. If that wasn't enough, Callie and Cristina share a twisted history that makes little sense to the outsider and Cristina, in her warped way, is always going to look out for Callie." He tried explaining.

"See, this is what I'm talking about, I'm only told half stories. Callie only told me bits of what happened. I knew that Mark, Sofia's father died in _a _plane crash; never was I told there was more to it than that. I didn't even know Arizona was on the plane. I was privy to very little, I knew that something tragic happened to Arizona, which threatened the vain woman's comfortable lifestyle. She told me that Arizona cheated on her after that and then went out of her way to get Callie transferred here. How can she still love someone like that?" Tony shook her head in confusion.

"Arizona Robbins lost her leg in that crash and uses a prosthetic now. Callie promised her she'd do everything to keep the leg, but it was riddled with infection and it ended up life over limb, which to me there's no question, but Arizona didn't see it that way. It was all downhill after that. Callie stole her leg, she could never see things clearly, and the rest is history."

"Who wouldn't choose life over limb? That's ridiculous and purely narcissistic. It's stupid. And blaming Callie because she decided that her wife was more important than some silly leg? Who does this woman think she is?" Tony felt her blood pressure rising the angrier she got. Callie's story was so much deeper and conflicted than she ever let on and Arizona Robbins, in Tony's opinion, was completely and solely at fault. "She destroyed, Callie."

"Hello. Hello. Anybody home? Think McFly. Think." Toby knocked on Tony's forehead. Receiving a scowl from the red head. "You're a Trauma Surgeon, think about it that way, Rusakov. Trauma affects everyone differently and believe it or not, but Arizona wasn't the only one to go through trauma. Callie's may not be disfiguring, but its mentally been chipping away at her for years. She felt she was finally moving on, she has done her best to avoid her ex, but could you imagine what Callie's going through right now. She has been side swiped; she wasn't expecting this so you have to really think about what you want to do Rusakov. You're a Trauma surgeon. I believe that she was meant to find you for a reason. I know that you have helped her pick up her broken pieces. Callie's conflicted because Arizona went behind her back and got her transferred out here. Yes, they were divorced, but maybe, possibly on their way to, at the very least, working through things to be friends for their daughter's sake, once the pain settled down. Or so Callie thought. And then boom, she was sent away like an unruly child off to a boarding school, so Callie _doesn't want _to be in love with Arizona. She'll deny it, but she always will be; they have too much history that it can't just be erased." Toby's pager went off, he looked down pressing a few buttons and then put it back in his pocket.

"They're all a packaged deal, T. You take them all or you take none of them. The question here is are _you _part of that package too?"

Tony didn't like this, she didn't like what Toby was getting at; not at all.

Toby stood from his position next to her as his pager sounded again, "I'm sorry Tony, I really need to go, I haven't got use to this new pager yet, my last one wasn't working properly like somebody tinkered with it or something. Think about it, if you love her as much as I think you do, then do what's best for Callie." His heart squeezed as she looked up, tears glazing her eyes again. "Take as much time as you need, it's quiet in here if you want to stay." He bent down and kissed her head, squeezing her shoulder one last time.

And with that, King left, leaving Tony alone with her thoughts until she could take no more and broke down sobbing. Everything swirling around in her head was really beginning to weigh her down. She did love Callie. A lot. More than she ever wanted to because she, too, had her own history holding her back in her own ways, but King was right that she had to do what was best for Callie here. As much as this was about her, it was more about Callie and yeah, this sucked.

_If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, you're meant to be_... Tony knew that if she was going to do this, it had to be now. Looking at her watch, she saw she still had a few hours till her next surgery. She would go ask the chief for some personal time and she would go be the person Callie needed her to be. No matter how much her heart protested, she knew it was right.

**Don't Speak, I Know What Your Thinking**

She watched, in the course of a few short days, her girlfriend spiralling into depression. Callie was jumpy, reserved, and worst of all, sad. Her talk with Toby only confirmed this was for the best. For Callie. Not for her. She loved her girlfriend, a lot. Callie was the type of woman she could see herself growing old with; no, Callie_ was_ the woman she could see herself growing old with, but there was that pesky problem that wasn't going to go away. Arizona Robbins. Callie's ex-wife. The love of her girlfriend's life. The mother of Callie's daughter. She'd always be in the way. If not physically there, her place in Callie's heart was so strong, so solid, that Tony couldn't compete. Yes, Tony knew getting into this relationship that Callie had baggage, unpacked baggage, but the woman lived hundreds of miles away and Tony thought: 'Out of sight, Out of mind'. Boy was she never so wrong. Watching Callie fight her demons over her feelings for her ex-wife was just too much for Tony to deal with; She wasn't going to start a losing fight. Not one where she was the sole loser. If Arizona wasn't enough of a problem, Sofia was making things even harder. It was obvious, her hate for the new woman in Mommy's life; she had made it known every single time she was around Tony, and things were only escalating. She didn't blame the kid, couldn't blame her now that she knew and understood everything, but she also wasn't going to take the seven year olds abuse either. Sofia wasn't going to change her mind, her mind being that nobody, and she meant_ nobody_ was going to take her Mama's place. The kid loved her moms, that was for sure, and Tony was also sure there wasn't any room left in her tiny heart for anybody else.

"Hey." She quietly let herself into the apartment seeing Callie sitting on her couch in almost darkness. She had already told Tony she was busy tonight, but here she was, sitting alone in her apartment, crying. The lone light reflected off Callie's wet cheeks, illuminating the tears as they kept falling.

"What … what are you doing here?" Callie looked up at the surprise visitor; unintentional irritation crossed her face. She had told everybody she was busy tonight, she didn't want company, and she wanted to be alone. Sofia was with Arizona and Barbara until later, they were seeing a late movie, much later than Callie would have let her seven year old at the theater, but with Arizona in town, she let a lot slide, a lot more than usual. Barbara invited her to join, but Callie didn't want to be drilled by her … her mother. Toby offered a numbing night of drinking, which she also turned down. And Tony didn't even get the chance to propose evening plans; Callie shut her down before she could ask.

"I thought you were busy tonight." Tony sounded annoyed, but that's why she was here, because Callie was pulling away and she, Tony, was doing the right thing.

"I am." Callie wasn't going to lie; she was done with lies in her life. "I didn't want company, so I am busy with myself." Callie snapped.

"Okay, I can take a hint, Callie." She ignored the annoyance in her girlfriend's voice and made her way to sit next to her on the couch. "It's why I'm here."

"I'm having a really hard time, Tony. I don't want to take it out on you; I really just want to be alone. It's not you, I pr ... It's not you." Callie never said _that _word anymore.

"No you don't."

Callie rolled her eyes, she hated being told what she was feeling or what she wanted; Callie just hated being told anything about herself. That never went down well.

"If you wanted to be alone, you wouldn't be sitting here wishing you were with Arizona."

"What?" Callie's looked up at her girlfriend with a shocked confused look on her face. "You're crazy." Callie wasn't sure she wanted to be with Arizona; it was just that Arizona was currently on her mind. A lot. All the time actually. She didn't know what she wanted from her ex-wife. She didn't know what her ex-wife wanted from her either.

Tony looked at her seriously, there was so much pain in Callie's eyes, and she hated to add more to it, but this, this pain would end, and she'd be able to look back fondly; Tony wanted to give Callie that. She didn't want to leave her with unfinished business like she was dealing with at the moment.

"Maybe I'm jumping into this too fast. Let's talk about Sofia."

Callie shook her head, tears falling fast. "Sofia can, she_ will_ stop this. She'll be better." Callie had been waiting for Tony to reach wit's end with her daughter._ She'd_ reached wit's end with her daughter. Sofia's actions were deplorable and she didn't even know the half of it. Her daughter was rude, cold to Tony, cruel, and totally the exact opposite of the way she was raised. Callie didn't even know about the pranking, and it wasn't as if Tony was going to point it out, not now anyway. She knew Callie had a heart to heart with Sofia _and _Sofia's attitude, and that was enough.

"She doesn't like me. At all."

"Give her some more time, it's only been a couple of weeks." Callie begged.

"Your daughter is a great_ daughter_; she loves you both very much." Tony wasn't here to put Sofia down, but Sofia's actions and attitude did play a big enough part. Not enough alone to send her packing, but enough for every other factor in play to make it a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Callie smiled at the thought of how much Sofia did love her. And she loved her daughter very much,, but Sofia was her daughter and Callie was the adult and her daughter wasn't going to interfere with her love life … any longer. "I've spoken with her. Barbara has spoken with her too. We aren't letting this attitude thing slide, she really does know this."

"Oh Callie, this isn't just about Sofia's ill treatment of me." Tony wondered if Callie really knew how much Arizona was affecting her. How much she was still in love with her ex-wife. The pain, sadness, and confusion in Callie's eyes told her she didn't; those eyes were pleading with Tony to not give up on her.

"We'll both be better. I'm sorry I've been so out of it lately. Please." Callie begged.

"Sweetie …" Tony moved closer, pulling Callie into her arms.

"I love you." And Callie did, a lot. She never thought she'd let herself love another person again, but Tony got through her walls, most of them, and Callie loved her with all she could.

Tony smiled sweetly, brushing away the lingering tears on Callie's cheeks. "I don't doubt that, Sweetie. And I'm so in love with you, so, so much, but Callie, you aren't _in_ love with me."

Callie went to object, to give Tony every reason possible why she was wrong because she was, wasn't she? But her brain was working too slowly, the signals from brain to mouth were intercepted somewhere, somewhere further down and to the left and she couldn't form words.

Seeing the debate in Callie's eyes, Tony leaned in, capturing her lips. She'd never get over the feel of those lips upon hers; kissing Callie_ was_ one of those magic moments people made fun of on sitcoms. They didn't know any better because they'd never kissed Callie Torres. Tony was going to miss this, miss everything about Callie, but for a few more minutes, she took great pleasure in the moment. Breaking the kiss, the mutual kiss, Tony placed a few more quick kisses. She kissed the corners of Callie's mouth, that place right under Callie's ear that always had her moaning before Tony could even touch her, her cheeks, and finally a quick peck on her nose.

"You aren't in love with me because you are still in love with your ex-wife."

"Tony …"

"And it's okay, it really is. I knew what I was signing up for, Callie. _Mostly._ I'm not one of these people that believe that there is only one person for every person. The world is a big fucking place, and I believe you can love more than one person. It's all down to fate and timing. I love you the way you love Arizona. I can only wish that timing was in my corner, that I had met you before you met her. Things may have been different. But I will always love you, no matter what."

"Tony," Callie begged, "don't do this, please."

"After everything you two have been through, you are still in love with Arizona, and that says a lot. I'm not going to stand in the way."

They sat there in silence, both crying, staring into each other's eyes. The conflicting look in Callie's eyes almost had Tony backing off, telling her she was a fool, and they'd work it out, all three of them. Callie did love her and that could be enough. If only Callie wasn't_ in_ love with somebody else.

Sighing, Tony held tight to Callie's hand rubbing soothing patterns with her thumb. "You are going to be okay."

"What am I supposed to do without you? I need you." It wasn't just the relationship that had blossomed between the two of them, but they were friends, for a while now, _before_ everything, and Callie felt like she was losing her best friend all over again. Why did this keep happening? Why was she always on the receiving end of loss?

"Talk to Arizona."

Callie shook her head, "I can't."

Tony gave her a weak understanding smile. "You have to." Because as much as Callie needed Tony, and Tony needed Callie, Callie needed Arizona Robbins even more. Tony could only do so much, be so much, when it was obvious Arizona was what made Callie Torres whole.

"What about you?" Callie questioned timidly; she couldn't swallow losing her friend and girlfriend in the same night.

"Give me some time to get over you. To hate your ex-wife for a bit. I'll be back. I can't lose you; you are a part of me Callie. A very important part of me." Tony promised.

"As …?" Callie dared to ask, hopeful.

"Your friend."

Callie started crying again, it was relief, mixed with sadness and loss. She was losing her girlfriend, a woman she loved very much, but Tony wasn't going anywhere; she wasn't losing her friend. It hurt though, everything about this night hurt. "I'm sorry." Callie sobbed. She was sorry, but she wasn't sure if it was for pushing her girlfriend away, or for not dealing with things five years ago so this would have never had a chance to happen. Was she sorry for losing Tony over this or that Tony was right, about everything?

"Hey, hey." Tony pulled Callie back in for a hug. "I'm supposed to be the one crying and getting comforted here." She teased.

Callie couldn't help but laugh, hugging tight to her friend. God, what was she going to do? They sat that way, holding each other close for just a few more minutes, Tony memorizing everything about Callie, lingering just a few moments longer before she left. Not much later, Callie found herself lying on her bed, sobbing into her pillows and thinking hard about her next move. She found no comfort in her bed as the future held such little hope for her. What did it matter if she still loved Arizona; nothing had changed. Arizona hated Callie and now her girlfriend had just dumped her.

**I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt**

Callie knew what_ she_ had to do, and that was talk to her ex-wife. She was supposed to be out with her mom and their daughter, but Callie was hoping since the movie didn't start for another few hours, that she would catch Arizona before she left the hotel room. Barbara had picked Sofia up, so she wasn't worried that her daughter would be there to overhear this conversation, because Sofia_ couldn't_ be there to overhear it. Callie wasn't even certain_ she_ was ready to hear it.

Knocking, Arizona opened the door immediately looking slightly flustered and damn it, beautiful.

"Hi." Arizona smiled. "Sofia's at Mom's, I am just finishing up something for Karev, and then I'll go join them; are you … are you coming too?" Arizona asked hopeful, standing back from the door to invite Callie into the room.

Still stuck on how beautiful her ex-wife looked, Callie paused a moment to collect her thoughts. "I think we need to talk." Callie responded as she closed the hotel room behind her.

The look in Arizona's eyes were smoldering, watching closely Callie's every move as if she was ready to pounce. "Arizona?"

Arizona's lips were on her faster than she could question why. Soft lips assaulting her senses, the warmth of Arizona's mouth invading her entire being. They stood that way for what felt like an eternity, before Callie was passionately pressed up against the door, their mouths devouring each other without apology. Moans of approval, sighs of contentment the only sounds to be heard against the echoes of sucking flesh, of clashing teeth.

Callie leaned into the embrace, her hands without thought found themselves pulling at Arizona's hips; pulling her impossibly closer, into her body, molding to her, fitting perfectly. And Arizona couldn't stop, tasting Callie again was too much, too overpowering, so much better than her last memory.

Pulling back, out of breath, both women panting hard, desire reflected in their eyes, a silent agreement met. Now stumbling across the hotel room for the bed, shirts, items of clothing found their way across the room, landing on lamps, behind pieces of furniture. Neither spoke as hands fumbled with nerves, timidly touching bare flesh, kneading full breasts, flicking against taut nipples. Neither broke eye contact, staring deep into the others eyes.

Callie moaned as she pinched the pebbling nipple between her fingers; the feel of it hardening into full arousal under her touch was almost too much.

The moan was enough, Arizona leaned in, kissing Callie fully on the lips, slowly peeling the rest of her clothing off, taking extra time to run her fingers along Callie's newly exposed skin, fingernails digging deeply into the flesh of her backside as she pulled her in, needing to feel the heat of the body she'd dreamed about for too long. And then, she was pushing Callie back onto the bed, crawling up after her after discarding her own pants; now both women completely nude. Completely unapologetically naked, baring all for the other.

Wet heat covered Callie's thigh as Arizona's body slid against hers. Looking up, bright blue eyes sparkled back at her; need, love, and lust circling in them. Callie had dreamed of this, for so long she dreamed of that look in Arizona's eyes once again. Tangling her fingers in Arizona's hair, she pulled her down, kissing her with every part of her being, sucking Arizona's bottom lip between her own. She bit down before screaming out, as slim fingers danced through her wetness; Arizona taking full pleasure in the pain and arousal simultaneously.

"You're so wet. I've missed this." Arizona smiled, brushing gently against Callie's clit, producing another loud moan ripping from her lover.

"Oh God." Callie let go of Arizona's hair, now cupping her bare ass with both hands, pulling her flush against, skin against naked skin.

The brisk movement jolted Arizona forward, her fingers that were teasing Callie, tracing light patterns against her heated center, were now thrust deep inside, Callie immediately squeezing them, pulling her further into her tightness.

"Fuck..." She arched her back, Arizona using her wrist to continually fill Callie's wetness, her thumb pressing perfectly against the throbbing bundle of nerves begging for attention.

She couldn't keep her hands still; they were aching to touch Arizona, to fill Arizona, to show her everything she couldn't say. In one quick move, she went from squeezing tight muscles of Arizona's ass, to reaching around with her long arms, filling her from behind; both women now frantically fulfilling the others long overdue desires. The feel of Arizona again after all this time was enough to bring Callie teetering on the edge of both physical and emotional passionate release.

Supporting herself with her free hand, Arizona slightly hovered over Callie, breasts rubbing, panting, and sweat gliding them against each other.

"Calliope." She moaned. "Right there." She could feel Callie deep inside her; from her heart on down, and it was right where she belonged. Where she always belonged.

"Please."

They begged, pushing each other to the brink.

Feeling Callie's body tense, her fingers speeding up, Arizona leaned down, needing more connection, moaning into Callie's open mouth.

"Yes." She arched her back, biting down on Arizona's bottom lip again; riding out wave after wave of pleasure. She didn't see starbursts, her vision didn't fade out; she focused on the love in the eyes above her, the tears falling down porcelain cheeks. Overwhelmed, Callie's fingers pulled out, reaching for Arizona's clit and rubbing almost violently to bring her lover to the same place.

"I love you." Callie whispered as Arizona collapsed to the side of her body, both out of breath.

Neither spoke as they stared at each other, small smirks of satisfaction on their lips, love reflecting from their eyes.

Callie heard movement in the corner of the room, looking up she caught a glimpse of another woman.

"What's she doing here?" Callie started yelling; her heart was beating out of her chest, her mind was spinning in a hundred different directions.

Panicking, Callie grabbed the blanket for cover. Stuttering through her tears, she scooted away from Arizona. "What is she doing here, Arizona? Why … why is_ she_ here?" She was sobbing now, the look of guilt spreading across Arizona's features. God, she'd seen that look before. She was so stupid. So so stupid.

Callie sat up, violently choking on her tears. Looking around the empty room, she realized she was home, by herself, in bed._ Alone._ It was a dream. A nightmare. Arizona was still with their daughter, Lauren Boswell was a thing of the past;_ they_ were a thing of the past. Tony dumping her tonight, putting those stupid thoughts that she was still in love with her ex-wife into her mind was what this was all about. It was a dream. Fuck!

Untangling the sheets from her body, Callie heard the unmistakable sound of somebody at the door. Great, more unwanted company. The last person dumped her, was this one going to just shoot her through the heart and put her out of her misery?

"Coming." She hollered as she made a quick stop to wash the tears from her face before facing whomever was at her door.


	8. Banana

**AN:** Thank you lovely people for your interest in our little story. We can't thank you enough that you continue to read and review, it means a lot.

Thank you as always Zoe and Gene for their input in this chapter and the rest. And **Shinata-Riyoko** and her red pen to the rescue

**Sportsfan** needs her own call out here because without her support, attention to detail, and her brilliant ideas, the level of intimacy reached in this story would have fallen seriously flat. She not only helped with some confidence issues in writing such scenes, but further progressed the storyline along with her quick catches, insightful thoughts, and gentle prodding for more answers. Thank you, your help in this has made all the difference. - Nic and Sadie

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**Chapter 8 Ba-Ba Po-TAE-TOH-Oh-Oh Togari Noh Pocato Li Kani Malo Mani Kano Chi Ka-Ba-Ba, Ba-Ba-naNAAAAHHHHHHH!**

**It Was Dr. Torres In The Lounge With The Poisoned Lips**

"Hey?" Callie stepped back in surprise and confusion at the sight of her ex-wife at her door.

The actions, letting Arizona believe it to be a welcome, had her walking through the small space between Callie and the door, into her foyer. "Thanks."

Even with her confusion as to Arizona's presence and teetering on the edge from her disrupting dream, Callie's manners faltered none, her courteous hosting immediately taking over as Arizona shrugged off her coat. Without a second thought, Callie was hanging it in the item of clothing in her coat closet. "So … not to sound completely rude, but why are you here, Arizona? I thought you, Mom, and Sofia were going to the movies tonight." She wasn't trying to be rude but according to Barbara, tonight was movie night and she hadn't assumed that included her in the equation after she specifically told Barbara, 'no'.

"Yeah ... Um, Mom said to meet her here. She said … she said we were to act like adults and put our differences aside for our daughter for a family-style game-night. She insisted that the movies could wait. I just assumed you agreed by the way she acted as if it were nothing. Not that we really had a choice, but I didn't think, I thought you'd … damn it." Arizona sighed running her fingers through her hair in show of nerves. "She didn't tell you I was coming, did she? Or anything about this?"

"No. She told me she was bringing Sofia back after the movies,_ late_ tonight." Callie shook her head, rolling her eyes, clearly annoyed by the look on her face.

"Look, I can go if this is too much. Just have Mom call when she's gotten here. I'm sorry." Arizona bit her lip, trying hard not to cry at the thought of losing out on precious time with Sofia. And _any_ time with Callie. But she'd be the bigger person here, and she wasn't going to stay in a place she obviously wasn't wanted.

"No stay," she quickly argued. "It's … it's fine. We'll have a game night." Callie cleared her throat as emotions lodged themselves, stealing her voice and replacing it with that scratchy, husky voice she had when she was overwhelmed. She didn't want Arizona to think she was anything but calm and collect. "I guess that they shouldn't be too much longer. Do you want something to drink?" She led Arizona into the kitchen, stepping behind the breakfast bar in order to put space between them.

"I have water, ice tea …" Callie shut the fridge, realizing how bare it was and not wanting Arizona to think she was an unfit mother because of that. However, she wasn't supposed to have her daughter this evening and was planning on grocery shopping while Sofia was out with them. "Wine?" Callie opened the cabinet above the fridge where her alcohol was stored along side her small wine cooler, locking mechanism included. Callie was trying to keep her emotions at bay, her girlfriend had just broke things off with her, she was sad, but yet, Arizona was here and it seemed to numb the pain just being in her presence. It was confusing, her head and her heart were having a constant battle and she wasn't sure just which one was winning.

"Wine!" Arizona cringed as she answered a little too quickly, but the idea of something to dull her senses and give her a sense of confidence she was truly lacking, was a superb idea.

"White still?" Callie automatically began to unwrap the foil from around the cork and started to fiddle with the corkscrew. A mundane task, not much to think about: unwrap and uncork, but she remembered how Arizona would always lick the side of her glass because Callie always managed to drip the contents down the side when trying to pour. Her thoughts remained on Arizona delicately running her tongue up the side of the glass ..._arrrrgh no sexy thoughts_. Callie stopped for a moment trying to regain her composure. Arizona could sense how nervous she was and, without a thought, closed the gap between them and placed her hands over Callie's in a silent request that she would do it. Callie felt herself relax slightly as both women made proper eye contact for the first time since Arizona had unexpectedly shown up ... days ago.

"You never were any good at opening these, honestly, how do you survive?" Arizona jested and offered a small chuckle as she tried to ease some of the tension.

"Screw Caps." Callie laughed too. "I normally only buy screw caps, but it was a gift from Ton..." Callie quickly realized that she was about to mention her girlfriend...ex-girlfriend to her ex-wife. Not that it should matter, but somehow it did. Callie knew that Arizona knew about Tony, obviously since she interrupted them at the most awkward of moments, but it was still so … awkward, it shouldn't be...but it was. "It was a birthday gift and since I don't often drink white, it's really all I have to offer." She shrugged; avoiding eye contact once again in hopes Arizona didn't see through her lame answer. Callie was quite self-sufficient when it came to corks, she was even all those years ago, but something about Arizona made her look like a fifteen year old boy trying to figure out how to put a condom on for the first time. She always made Callie jumpy, antsy, and ridiculously aroused when it came to uncorking a bottle. Moving herself away from the closeness, she returned to the cabinet, fetching two glasses, and turning back to Arizona who had now removed the cork from the bottle. She pointed back toward the tall chairs at the high dining room table, offering Arizona a direction to turn.

"Do you want to take a seat?" Callie waited for Arizona to make her move with the wine over to the table before she made sure she was at the opposite side, creating an acceptable distance between them once again.

Arizona waited for Callie to place the glasses before she started to pour some wine. Offering Callie a soft smile, she picked up her glass and smelled the contents as she lightly swished the white liquid around its sides. "Mmmm smells delicious." Before she took a sip, licking her lips. Callie hadn't realized that she had been staring, and when Arizona's eyes caught the brown ones, she quickly shook herself back into step.

Jumping up Callie spoke quickly. "So, wanna play a round or two while we wait?" She managed to get her brain to kick into gear as she saw Arizona smile, realizing that she'd been caught. She was halfway to the game closet before Arizona spoke, or really before she caught what Arizona was saying.

"Are you trying to avoid awkward silence and even more awkward conversation, Calliope?" Arizona could not stop the edge in her voice sounding a little flirty as Callie gave a short uncomfortable snort.

"Just shuddup and play." Callie hid her blushing cheeks by quickly pulling off the lid to the Scrabble game that had been sitting first on a pile she'd brought back to the table. She quickly held it up, acting as if she was reading the instructions on the inside of the box.

"And you're reading the directions, why? Have the rules changed any in the past 100 years?" Arizona teased; she had caught sight of Callie's reddened cheeks before she could cover up her face with the cardboard box. It was so easy, _too easy_ to fall back into their old ways, and it beat the awkwardness that being around each other after five years brought with it. If a little inappropriate flirting was the answer, Arizona would be inappropriate.

"Pick your tiles." Callie shoved the bag of tiles in Arizona's direction, smirking while pulling out the board and setting it up.

Conversation was little as they both studied their pieces, carefully placing tiles on the board, forming words that wouldn't lead to arguments or discussions of definitions and proper usage. Medical terminology was avoided because it would easily turn into a debate about proper names, abbreviations, and end up in accusations of cheating. To say it was boring was an understatement. Callie was going to throw the board if either one of them played another stupid three-letter word. How many times could you use the words _and _or _dog_?

Pulling tiles again, Callie stifled a yawn and with Arizona quickly catching on to the 'fake cough, cover the mouth to hide the yawn' routine. It hadn't occurred to either of them that they were still alone in the apartment, but Arizona wanted to prolong her stay even if originally unwelcome, so she beefed up her game. Entertain Callie and keep her attention. She was enjoying herself just too much to give it up.

"Did you read the news today?" Arizona asked as they began the next game. Before she could continue, Callie's eyes lit up with interest and she jumped at the conversation.

"The Disney Princess debacle? Yes! The drama is unreal. If our seven year old daughter can figure out the difference between fiction and reality, understanding that while we are a color blind family that comes in all shapes and sizes, the media and entertainment world are not, and to take the stereotypes with a grain of salt, why can't these parents? Just let them enjoy their princess dreams. So because their child doesn't look like a Disney princess they can't play 'let's fricken pretend'? Since when are those stupid princesses role models we want for our children anyway? I say the further they are from something realistic, the better!" Callie's tirade was exactly what Arizona was hoping to achieve. They both understood that Disney wasn't ever going to get it right. There were thousands of different types of people in the world and there was no way in hell Disney would ever dare to put out a lesbian princess, but to them, that wasn't grounds for this new fad of suing Disney over damaging children's self-esteems. That was all on the parents for not instilling a sense of pride and identity in their children, not an entertainment source.

"Tell me about it." Arizona smiled as Disney princesses bled into the next conversation and then another one from there. Finally, they'd reached relaxed, thank you alcohol and common ground.

"I always get the X-tile. Trade with me!" Arizona whined and batted her eyelashes. It used to work too, back when they were married. She could convince Callie of almost anything, but she was also a pushover because if Callie gave into her wife, she knew it would be made up for with extra sexual favors later that night, but that wasn't an option here. But they'd already each had over half a bottle of wine, and this was their second game where Arizona was losing yet again and her inhibitions had gone out the window with the completion glass number three. Wine and the relaxed atmosphere made it feel like old times. They were laughing and teasing each other, and things felt normal, and Arizona almost forgot that they weren't married, that they were usually separated by an entire country; no, Arizona _did_ forget and for the first time in too long she felt great.

Looking down at the board, Callie realized that they had slipped into old habits as she took in the plethora of dirty words that had overtaken the playing surface.

Wet.

Toy.

Mount.

Hammer.

Fingers.

Lick.

Thrust.

Pound.

Poke.

Rub.

Tight.

Somewhere deep down she knew this was inappropriate, but a little further up that ladder, told her not to care. When was the last time this had happened? More than half a decade ago, and how long again until Callie would feel like she'd come home for the first time in too long? Feel safe and comforted just being in the same room with somebody. Feel … feel whole, finally _really _whole? Callie didn't care. She also didn't question why Tony had never made her feel this way. Tony and the lack of Tony being her girlfriend was the furthest thing from her mind at the very moment. Scanning the tiles left her eyes brightened as she saw spacing for the word she wanted. She started placing them out with an extra bounce to her game.

"Banana, that isn't a dirty word. You're a cheater!" Arizona instantly realized what she had said and looked startled as she made eye contact with Callie who had smiled warmly at the antics, before she realised that was her and Tony's safe word. Banana was _their _sex word and common sense took over as she pushed the board game slightly out of reach. She wasn't so far gone that she forgot the circumstances of their life, but she was far enough that Arizona's unconscious constant flirting could and would lead to more if she didn't stop it now. She might be unattached now, but she still remembered how much Arizona broke her. There would always be something about Arizona that made her heart beat faster and her sensibility go out the window so she wasn't go to test that theory.

"I think we've played enough, I'm getting bored." She changed the subject. They'd been at this for over two hours, so involved in the game and small talk that neither had realized Sofia and Barbara were MIA in all that time, and still even now.

Separate couches. Callie told herself as they made their way over to her family room. It was because she wanted Arizona to be able to stretch out and relax her leg, but it was also to put as much distance between them as possible without looking obvious. Her heart was still pounding and she was pretty sure she was sweating like a cheap whore in church.

"Hoodwinked!" Arizona managed to get out as she shook her head and muffled some laughter, she hadn't realised how loud she'd said it, but her brain had kicked into gear when she had been thinking about what could be taking her mother so long.

"What?" Callie choked, her eyes averting from where she had accidentally been staring at Arizona's chest to the ceiling. _Fuck_.

"Hoodwinked. You know, like we've been Ashton Kutchered?" Arizona lowered her voice as she looked onto the startled woman.

"Huh? Wait … who? What?" If it wasn't Arizona catching her roaming eyes then… what? Callie was confused; she'd been lost in a daydream. A _very _naughty daydream.

"Hoodwinked Callie. Deceived. By Mom and Dad. They aren't bringing Sofia over tonight; this was just one of their attempts at getting us to sit down in the same room together without our daughter as a buffer. So we've been punked. You know, that ridiculous show Mark used to make us watch all the time, the one with Ashton Kutcher as the host?" Arizona sighed. "I guess it's time. We can only put this off for so much longer."

Callie relaxed when she realized this had nothing to do with where her ... where _their _minds had been this evening and currently, but froze at the idea of what 'it's time' meant. "Sofia needs us to be civil, Cal. To have these moments where we don't want to run and hide from the other and actually be on the same coast at times, it was bound to happen eventually."

"I agree. I've missed …" Callie took a deep breath, inhaling deeply and exhaling long. "I have missed you. I'm sorry I've been less than welcoming since you got here."

"I'm sorry I came unannounced, and then hid from you before barging in on your life." Arizona watched Callie curl into a sort of fetal position of sorts, a sign of needing comfort from the new chill in the air.

"I guess if we talked, if I put more effort into being reachable and approachable, this all could have been avoided." Callie admitted her faults, no longer ashamed of her actions. Or at least no longer ashamed to admit her actions and her part in all of this. She still had shame and lots of it.

"This isn't only on you, but I appreciate that, thank you." Arizona's voice was quiet; she felt an odd mix of emotions coursing through her, not all she was ready to identify. She waited a beat and looked up at her ex-wife. "Callie?" The quietness of her voice was now a whisper.

"Hmmm?"

"I missed you too." She held her breath waiting for a reaction, any reaction from Callie. Feeling ten times lighter as a smiled graced her ex's face; Arizona returned the gesture.

**Lost In Translation**

"Wanna watch a movie? It's still early enough, and we both have wine left in our glasses, and there's another bottle in the chiller, and nobody's driving; it doesn't have to be a long one." Callie babbled on and on, giving excuse after excuse as to why Arizona should stay.

"Why Calliope Torres, are you actually enjoying my company and asking me to stay a bit longer?" She teased, the tension between them no longer there at all.

Callie started stuttering, biting her lip, a blush rising over her cheeks. Why did she feel like a teenage boy at a make out party with the girl he liked? "Yes." She spat out the single word with conviction instead of the nerves she was really feeling.

"Go grab the wines, Callie, and I'll pick something On-Demand. Do you have another blanket or throw? You always get cold watching evening TV."

It was just like old times all over again, without the sexual innuendos and tension that came with that. It was just right, and neither questioned it.

"No, I didn't think I was having company. I threw all the blankets in the laundry." Callie shrugged putting Arizona's wine glass and bottle within easy reach before placing her own on the coffee table.

Without another word, Arizona rolled her eyes in a display of nothing more than a teasing gesture, knowing very well that her ex probably over stuffed the washer, again, with all that she was washing. She pulled back the lone throw left in the house and waited for Callie to take the unspoken invitation. In their post-crash time together, this would never have happened, Arizona would never have opened herself up to Callie in this way. All Callie had ever known was that the throw in the lap was how Arizona had hid her deformity, her lack of leg, from herself and the world, but now, for Arizona it was just a comfort thing. Some people crossed their legs, some people twiddled their thumbs, and Arizona liked to have a blanket in her lap, give her hands something to fiddle with, her body a little extra warmth that she missed living by herself with nobody to cuddle.

Why did she choose a damn romantic comedy? Why? What on earth was she thinking when she decided to pick this damn movie? She wasn't, that's the problem. When she questioned why Callie had the silly movie saved and recorded on her DVR, the woman got so excited over a cameo that her _car _made, Arizona fed off of the enthusiasm and decided to humor her so she could beam with pride over a damn automobile. And now, here she was, staring at the television trying hard not to react to the sizzling heat that was soaring to record heights between her legs. Every time a love scene came on the screen, she could feel her cheeks beaming in redness and Callie sat looking almost unfazed, which only annoyed her to be the lone person feeling such arousal. What was she thinking? She felt as though she was watching with her mother trying not to let on that it was causing a reaction.

It brought back terrible memories of her childhood, her teen years to be exact. There was a sleepover with her girlfriend, except her parents had no idea they were anything but friends. Being stern parents, Arizona wasn't allowed to watch Rated-R movies without parental supervision even though her girlfriend's mom had given her the green light to do just that. So the Colonel sat with them while they watched Fear. Oh God, she could still remember how wet she was during the scene where Mark Wahlberg fingered Reese Witherspoon on the ferris wheel. And that wetness brought on total mortification with her father sitting just ten feet away. What made matters worse was that hours before they settled in to the movie, her and her girlfriend had gotten _that _far up in her bedroom, and now watching that same exact type of scene on the TV with her _dad _in the room was almost too much. She spent more time biting her lip and keeping herself from moaning as Angie's hand rubbed her upper thigh under the throw blanket. By the end of the movie, Arizona had to change both her panties and pajama pants, which in the end didn't matter much because the movie had turned them both on so much, they screwed each others brains out later after her parents went to bed. And watching this movie with Callie, she felt sixteen years old all over again and she wanted to screw Callie's brains out just the same.

As Callie laughed hard at the antics of one lover to get the other lover's attention, Arizona concentrated hard on paying attention and stopping the natural pull to scoot closer to Callie. It wasn't working. Callie would laugh and point or say nothing at all when intimate times came on, and both actions caused Arizona serious discomfort.

"Look, look!" She leaned over, pointing to the corner of the screen. "They filmed outside of the hospital. Used their own stand-ins, but our cars stayed in the lot. You can see the beginnings of my license plate ... do you see it?" Her bicep was brushing against Arizona's chest causing the woman to hold her breath.

"Arizona, you're not looking!" Callie grabbed the remote for the TV and paused as the camera panned back to the parking lot showing Callie's car again. "Look." She jumped up from the couch and started pointing out the car. "AAC4... see, it's my car." She threw herself back on the cushion with excitement and Arizona couldn't help but laugh.

"The woman that's been on TV for national news conferences is excited over her car being in a movie for two seconds?" Arizona teased.

"Hey!" Callie pouted. "Most of those were for local news, and it's not the same thing. My car was not shaking in fear threatening to throw up all over reporters, and this is a _movie_!"

"Okay, okay. I get it, your car is famous. I should ask it to sign some tire tracks or burnt rubber for me." She shook her head laughing at Callie.

"Fine." Callie huffed grabbing for the remote again and unpausing it.

"Oh, don't start that." Arizona grabbed back for the remote, Callie held it above her head and over to the side just out of Arizona's reach. "Let me have the damn thing."

"No. You're being mean." She remained pouting.

"Calliope Torres, give me the damn remote." Raising onto her knees, years of practice with her prosthetic that anyone witnessing the bickering would not have known, she leaned over Callie, struggling to reach the remote. She lunged at the flailing arm, landing herself directly across Callie's lap. Neither woman was able to move once they both realized the awkward position they were now in, unable to remove themselves from it without bringing attention to it and therefore making things even more awkward. It was freakin' _awkward_.

"Arizona..." Callie barely whispered, her voice caught in her throat. She heard the distinct tone of Callie's voice and needed to get up now. Struggling to get away, she tried balancing around Callie's shoulders, her knees shaking and giving out from the _strain_. They were now chest to chest, hearts beating in unison. It was as tacky as the romantic comedy they were just viewing, but neither could stop themselves, even knowing what was to come. Leaning forward, plump lips met her own and all she could do was moan into the kiss.

The remote dropped behind the couch, the sound of it smashing on the hard wood not registering on either's radar as they sunk further into each other. Callie's hands wrapping around Arizona's lower back only encouraged her to deepen their embrace, her own hands cupping heated cheeks as they continued to reacquaint themselves with their long lost perfect fit. Yeah, this was definitely from a cheesy romance, but neither cared, because next on the list of ridiculously impossible events from said cheesy romance would be partial nudity, and then full nudity, and then finally following that, the best, most wonderful, romantic, caring, loving sexual releases of their lives. So no matter how much they would laugh at such turn of events between people in a cheesy romance that had nothing in common, fell in love (_lust_) after only one date, and declared such love (_because the heart doesn't lie, ya know)_, they didn't mind fulfilling such careless and artificial practices of love (_patheticness_) because the end result was something they both needed here; they needed each other.

"Callie." The name tumbled from her lips like honey from a hive. It was perfect and natural and _shit. _

"Callie. Callie, stop." Arizona pulled back, throwing herself onto the couch next to Callie, not caring about subtlety this time.

They were both heaving, trying hard to catch their breaths. Confused and hurt, Callie scrubbed her hands over her face. What the fuck did she just do? _Damn it._

"What just happened?" Callie finally spoke. Was she asking about them kissing? Because she was pretty sure she knew what that was and why it happened. Or was she talking about Arizona's moment of clarity where she stopped it?

"You... Me..." She shook her head, trying to free her rational thoughts caught somewhere between her heart and brain, wishing they had stayed lost. "We can't. You and Tony. I can't do that. I can't be the reason. No. I can't, you're ... _fuck._" Arizona didn't stop to take a breath, rambling incoherently. "I fucked it up again. I keep doing this. Why? Why, where you are concerned, do I not have a lick of common sense? I didn't think. I should have left. I shouldn't have put you in this position. Tony. _Fuck._" Arizona wiped at the alarmingly growing tears painting her cheeks.

"Arizona, stop and listen to me." Callie tried to interrupt, but Arizona held her hand up shutting her down immediately.

"God ... I have to go. I can't ... I ... _fuck._" Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That was the sum of her thoughts. Fuck.

Before Callie could grab her arm to keep her on the couch, to explain, Arizona jumped up and took off for the door. "You're ... if I just screwed up your marriage, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do it twice. Tell ... tell Tony it was all my fault." She vanished behind the door, it slamming in her wake.

Two hours went by. Callie's cable box turned off who knows how long ago and she still hadn't moved. Arizona's rant went in one ear and out the other because all that mattered was the rejection. The stinging burn of rejection once again. And twice in one night. Did she have _tool_ tattooed on her forehead? Was she doomed to forever be unwanted, undesirable, unloveable?

Tears long gone, silence eating a hole in Callie's already fractured heart, she grabbed for the bottles of wine. Bottles, plural. And finished them both in quick, easy chugs. She didn't care any longer; she just didn't want to feel anymore.

**I Lost A Friend Somewhere Along In The Bitterness**

Even Cristina knew better than to put herself or her goddaughter in the middle of things any longer. Once Barbara put her foot down on the _childish_ pranking and threatened to rat them out to both Callie and Arizona, Cristina _tabled _anymore pranking ideas, but only because Barbara had a plan. And it was a good plan, or it was supposed to be, but something went terribly wrong. Barbara's ingenious idea backfired because Arizona now had it in her head that she was here only for Sofia's sake. Not to win back the woman who she should have never let go in the first place. This wasn't some relapse in her PTSD that she had long ago already dealt with, or some angry jealous feelings toward Tony because Callie had finally moved on. Arizona was headstrong on letting Callie marry this woman. She outright refused to listen to anyone. Barbara tried on numerous occasions to tell Arizona that there was no Tony anymore, but the moment _she who shall not be named_ was mentioned, or Callie, Arizona shut down.

"Since you are leaving in a few days, why don't we have a big family dinner tonight?" Barbara whispered to her daughter while Sofia was taking a well-needed nap.

Lighting up at the thought of her family getting together, something she longed for often in Seattle, Arizona immediately nodded with a huge smile.

"Good good." Barbara grinned in response. "Why don't you call your dad and Cristina?" She picked up her own phone.

"Who are you calling?" Arizona was already looking for her dad's cell phone number in her contact list.

"Callie." She said, so quietly, she was hoping that her daughter's thoughts were already on her dad and missing her words.

"What? No! You ... no." Arizona dropped her phone, arguing as softly spoken as possible before her mother could even get out her reasoning. "No. You said family."

"Callie is family. Need I remind you she's the mother of your daughter and I think of her..."

Growling and continuing her frantic whispering, Arizona shook her head angrily at her mother. "I don't care what _your _relationship with Callie is, you have made it very clear to me every time we talk how you feel about her, but it doesn't mean she's still my family. _You're _my family." Arizona was grasping at straws, she knew her own reasoning was never going to fly with her mother, but she had to try.

"Just because you two got divorced doesn't change my feelings for her and I don't appreciate the tone of voice you are using with me, Arizona Robbins." Barbara's voice cracked slightly as she felt her temper rise, as she tried to keep her voice under control. "I don't know what happened _again _between you two, but for crying out loud, think about Sofia for once. Both of you think about Sofia for once. Let her have a night with her mothers without bickering or ignoring each other. I know Callie's called here numerous times, so answer the phone and deal with it, both of you. I've had it up to here with your childish games. You wonder where Sofia learned it all from? You can't blame Cristina for this, this is all on you two."

"Blame Cristina for what?" The only _recent_ thing Arizona could think to blame Cristina for was that they were here, in Pennsylvania, disrupting everybody's life, but even that wasn't all on Cristina, because Arizona got on the plane. If only she hadn't gotten on _the _plane, things would be so different and she wouldn't be in so much pain.

"That's not important, Arizona. What's important is these immature games you both are playing. Callie's called you a number of times since..."

"Since you tried to play matchmaker and put us in a room together without our daughter to occupy our time?" Arizona interrupted her mother, finally having a reason to confront her, even if in hushed tones and angry whispers.

"Yes, I did set that up, but can you blame me? You two are ridiculous. _Ridiculous!_" She threw her arms up and clamped her jaw shut as she raised her voice higher than she had wanted too; she needed to calm herself before calling her daughter out. "How many years has it been and you two _still_ haven't talked? So I was trying to give you the opportunity to clear the air, can you blame me? I'm so tired of being the middleman here, Arizona. I love my time with Sofia, but did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe your dad and I want to make our own plans whenever we want, but I'm tied to _your _damn custody schedule instead." Shock covered her face. "Oh dear, look at me, you've upset me so much I cursed. Arizona Robbins, I don't curse and now I'm even angrier with you." She managed to speak confidently even in the low voice she was using.

She wanted to laugh, crack a smile even, but she knew better. Her mother was so flustered that she'd said damn and she wasn't going to rock that boat. Instead she was going to be honest.

"I kissed Callie." She admitted.

"And?" Now Barbara wanted to smile, but the distraught look on Arizona's face told her now wasn't the time. Score one for Barbara Robbins.

"And I _kissed _Callie." Arizona stressed her voice just above a whisper, but still silent enough as to not disturb her daughter.

"Did she kiss you back?" Barbara asked.

"Why does it matter if she kissed me back?"

"Just humor your old mother, won't you please?" Sometimes her daughter was so oblivious to the obvious that Barbara wanted to hit her over the head with a two by four. That's what she needed, somebody to hit her over the head.

"Yes." Arizona huffed.

"Did she stop it?"

"No." Arizona's guilt was waxing at just the thoughts of what she'd done.

"Then what's the problem?" Barbara asked with an innocence that annoyed her daughter.

_What was the problem? Was she serious? _"Tony!" Arizona barked quickly looking over her shoulder to make certain Sofia was still asleep. The steady rise and fall of her chest added to the tight cuddle she had on her toy confirmed she hadn't woken her up.. "Tony's the problem. She basically cheated on Tony because of _me_!" She lowered her voice again.

While it was obvious Arizona knew nothing, Barbara did and her daughter's valiance was commendable, or it would be if there was reason for it. But since Arizona was avoiding Callie by any and every means possible, she was unaware that it was needed. Laughing Barbara couldn't help it. "Did you hold a gun to her head?" She asked in a snicker.

"No!" Arizona shook her head.

"Did you tie her up?" She raised her eyebrows, puckered her lips, and waited for Arizona to get her mind out of the gutter where it had momentarily gone before she answered.

"No." She folded her arms across her chest and glared at her mother.

"Then what Callie did was by her own free will? Is that what you're saying?" Her mom challenged her.

"But _I _kissed her." And as guilty as she felt, she'd do it again. She'd risk _everything _to do it again.

"And she kissed you back. Seems to me it was mutual. You should have learned by now Arizona, you can't control Callie. She does what she wants. You've tried and you've failed. You sent her here to save her, maybe give you two back some semblance of a working relationship, but because you never gave her your reasons, because you went behind her back and never told her why, you lost her. You can control Arizona Robbins and sometimes I even doubt that."

"What's that mean?" Arizona growled at her mother for her insinuations.

"It means, Arizona, that Callie kissed you back because she wanted to, not because you forced her to, so why don't you think about _that _instead of psycho-analyzing every other minute moment. I knew you going to therapy wasn't a good idea. Yes it helped you get past everything, but it gave you another reason to avoid the big picture because you constantly pick apart the little pictures that make it up. It means that if you answered your phone for your ex-wife, maybe you'd two finally sort things out. I can't do everything for you, I put you two in a room together, what do you want me to do next? Lock you two in a room without an easy exit? DO something, Arizona. I'm ... I'm washing my hands of you two. If you want me in your lives, figure it out. I won't enable either of you any longer. Just ... just do something." Barbara's voice cracked as she reached the end of her rope and her ability to remain quiet any longer. Her body was shaking from the overload of emotions and she was just done. "Call me when you decide to get your heads out of your behinds, both of you." She reached the door looking considerably proud of herself. Turning around she glared at her daughter, jutted her chin out, and uncharacteristically told her daughter off. "You are both ... you're both, you're assholes." She smirked at the courage it took to say such a thing and walked out of the door. When the door closed she paused for a minute, she knew fine well that she couldn't abandon them and certainly not Sofia, but Arizona didn't know that and maybe that loss of security might help kick start her daughter into action.

Arizona stood watching as the door slammed shut, had she just stepped into an alternative universe where her mother actually grew a pair? Looking over at the bed, Sofia was _still _sound asleep, thank the Gods. Shaking her head, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell. Scrolling the numbers her thumb hovered over the number she wanted, she had made a decision. This wasn't fair on anyone. She had dragged everyone through her dirt. Pressing the call button, she waited for the line to connect.

"Hey. I'm going to go back to Seattle early." She couldn't bring herself to say home because it wasn't. "Do you want me to sign out of the hotel room or leave it up to you? I know you've been mostly staying with Callie, but I didn't want to put you out."

Hanging up the phone, she collected her things, waking her daughter up, and preparing herself to once again enter the lion's den.


	9. Burned out flames

**A/N **Thank you so much to everyone taking the time to read our story. Thank you to those who have reviewed, added the story to alert etc it means a lot that you are enjoying this.

This story would not be possible without the support of our friends who keep us going, inspiration and their opinions. Thank you to Zoe, Gene and Stopbreathe who have continued to be our sound board. An extra special **thank you** to Sandi, your help in sounding these chapters out and input has been greatly appreciated. And finally our lovely Beta Shinata-Riyoko who has a look and makes sure we are making sense.

Its getting quite deep, so please stick with us. We hope you enjoy. All mistakes even though looked for sometimes escape please forgive us and enjoy

Sadie & Nic :)

* * *

**Chapter 9: Burned Out Flames Should Never Reignite…But I Thought You Might**

**Just To End Up Right Back Here On The Floor**

_She's better off without me, she had moved on. I moved her out here to give her back her life… If I stay right now, I break her again. _Arizona's mind was a hurricane of emotions as they had endured the painstakingly slow elevator ride up to the apartment. _I love her, I have to let her go…but I, we need to stop this silly avoidance. Grow up Arizona! You can do this. You can see her with someone else; you have to make this work._

"Mommy, we're home." Sofia came bounding through the door, pulling her less than happy mother behind her. Sofia had pleaded that she came up and said goodbye to Mommy too. Goodbye was going to be the first thing she had said to Callie in days. The kiss, the guilt had made her run out of the apartment with her tail between her legs. Her father had joined in with the lecture after her mother's blow out. He'd told her that she knew how it felt to be ignored and he had raised her better than this game she was playing. She knew herself that they had both acted like children, but still, his disappointment was easier to swallow than hearing the disappointment from Callie, the renewed rejection.

"You're home early? Have you been annoying Grandpop again?" Callie chuckled before she caught on to the sullen look Arizona was sporting and knew. That look, every time they'd ever said goodbye, Arizona had worn that look. Callie knew that she couldn't let that happen without saying what was on her mind.

"Mama's going back to Seattle." Sofia never said home. Seattle wasn't home for the small girl even when she was there. Home was here, in Pennsylvania and Sofia made it clear, often, that home was where she was so Arizona needed to move home.

"Already?" Callie's voice took on a sad undertone. In patches while Arizona was here, they had actually managed to get on, again she had hoped that they could finally let go of the past and move onto a future where they could at least be in the same room as each other. She'd been ignored for days since that kiss and had not been allowed to explain or try to fix things. Cristina, when she'd been interrogated to how long they were staying for, had said that they were here for another few days.

"She's going back to save babies, Mommy." Sofia answered for Arizona who still had yet to really look at Callie. What she needed to say to Callie was still scaring the crap out of her as she wasn't sure what reaction she would be presented with. "Wait, Wait Mama. I made you something to take back with you. Be right back." Sofia raced out of the room before anyone was able to say anything to her.

Callie cocked an eyebrow in disbelief, her blood hit boiling point in seconds, yet again Arizona was leaving, avoiding so she didn't have to deal with Callie. Yeah, okay she probably did need to go home because of the unexpected vacation that they'd taken probably caused messy schedules back in Seattle, but why so suddenly. "To save babies, is that what you told our daughter… Oh that's right! When I get too much for you, guess what Arizona bails yet again! At least this time you're physically leaving as opposed to sending me a world away."

"What? No. Not now Callie, that's not what this, is." Arizona's own temper rose with the sarcasm that dripped from Callie's tongue.

"When then, Arizona? When? When you get back to Seattle and refuse to take my phone calls?" Callie's blood felt like lava, that's the best description of it… any moment wanting to erupt.

"Oh it takes an ignorer to know one, Callie." This wasn't what either of them wanted, they didn't want a slagging match, but it was quickly going to turn into one if it wasn't for the fact they both heard the tiny thumping feet of their daughter returning.

"Tony dumped me!" Callie didn't mean to blurt it, but her daughter coming back and the threat of Arizona leaving before she had the chance to say anything spurred her mouth into action before her brain had time to think. When she saw the guilt in Arizona's eyes, she realised she'd taken it the wrong way…the last thing she was going to say to Arizona, because she could see if it wasn't for Sofia being there she would have ran in that moment.

"Here it is!" Sofia ran back out and shoved the box into Arizona's arms. "Open it when you get back to Seattle. And when you come home again, bring it with you, okay? Okay? Okay?" She was jumping and running wildly about consumed by childish excitement that panic crossed Callie's face as she could see the signs.

"Sofia, you need to calm…" But it was too late; their daughter started wheezing within moments. It wasn't that she wasn't allowed to exert energy, but she had gone through enough therapy to know to stretch her lungs and practice proper breathing. In all the excitement and running, she had simply forgotten.

"Go get on your machine, Baby. I'll call you when I land." Arizona kissed her daughter, hugging her as tight as she could without causing more discomfort. "I love you."

Callie felt her mouth drop, even after she'd blurted out that Tony was out of the picture. Arizona was still getting on that plane.

"I love you, Bye." Sofia frowned, wiping tears from her cheeks before disappearing into her bedroom. She was an old pro and didn't need either mom to help her.

"Sofia, I'm walking Mama to her rental car. I'll be right back. Just stay on your bed and breathe. You know the routine, Baby." Callie yelled as panic now crossed Arizona's features. She had decided that she didn't want to have this conversation face to face; she wasn't ready. She would definitely tell Callie why she had to go back to Seattle when she was out of range of Callie's infamous rage.

"I got her." Cristina yelled from Sofia's room where she'd been taking a nap until the bouncing child had bulldozed through.

"No Callie, its fine. You don't have to walk me out." _Please. Please don't_. "I'll let you guys know when I land." Arizona tried to argue.

"I'm walking you to your car. Aside from the wait for the elevator taking sometimes ten minutes to make it up here, the ride down can be just as long and _I have something I need to say_."

**Danger, Danger High Voltage!**

"Aunt Cris." She mumbled, Sofia's eyes grew wide and she started to almost dance in urgency when she heard the front door shut. Tears streaming down around her facemask as she tried to remain calm and not make things worse.

"I know, Little Doc. I know." Cristina shook her head. "Just breathe." This wasn't in the plan; their plan failed. She frowned.

"Please do something." The plea came out mumbled from obstruction of the mask, making Sofia sound even more pathetic.

Cristina's eyes grew bright; she'd promised Barbara no more pranks. This wasn't a prank though, this was one last chance. One last chance that these two stubborn headed idiots would get their heads out of their asses and finally talk. If this didn't make them do it, nothing else would, they would have no way to avoid each other. She only hoped they wouldn't murder each other in the process because she heard the tone in Callie's voice.

"Do you have back-up batteries in that thing?" Sofia nodded, holding up her hand she held up five fingers. "Five hours?" Cristina asked and she nodded again. "Unplug yourself from the wall and follow me." Cristina picked up the machine and hurriedly carried it out, placing it on the table next to the front door. "Now stand here and peek out of the door. Tell me when they get on the elevator." Cristina ordered.

"Ay-ay, Agent Heart." Sofia saluted her godmother with a grin behind the mask.

While Sofia was expertly peering out of the door without being caught, Cristina was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. She remembered seeing exactly what she was looking for in Sofia's room when she had taken a nap. She had cursed the amount of things as she tried to pull plugs out to make space for her phone charger, and now they were a blessing. "Hurry. Hurry." Sofia pulled her mask down to whisper loudly.

Smiling like the Cheshire Cat, Cristina returned with a six way outlet under her arm, the coffee maker already filled with water, balanced in one hand, an iron in the other. "The door's opening for them." Sofia whined.

Squatting, she quickly plugged the outlet extension into the faulty main socket, then added the iron and coffee machine turning them on high, placing the iron in the safe upright position. Nothing happened, looking around quickly she spotted the vacuum and added that, turning it on. Again, there was nothing. "Ah _fuck_! So much for don't touch... _boom_ Cristina!" Cristina mocked Callie's previous warning, adding a little Cristina flair though trying to look around the room quickly she started to curse under her breath.

"The door is shut!" Sofia growled. Cristina launched herself in a desperate attempt pulled the dryer plug from the wall and added that to the mix scuttling back to turn the thing up high.

The lights flashed twice, there was the sound of a small explosion and everything went dark. Both Cristina and Sofia sunk to the floor in relief, sweat dripping from Cristina's brow as Sofia tried to settle her breathing again.

"Well Little Doc, it's been nice knowing ya." Cristina offered a cheeky grin as she lazily lifted her hand up waiting for the small handed high five.

**I've Been Waiting For This Silence All Night Long. It's Just A Matter Of Time.**

Callie was going to apologize, that's what the point of walking Arizona out was all about. The kiss from a few days before, Arizona believing she'd pushed Callie to cheat. It wasn't fair for her to think that, that's why Callie had tried to call and explain. She had been so caught off guard with Arizona's reaction and the fact that it had felt right. She wanted it to go further and then Arizona's reaction just hit home that she hated her. Love was a fucked up thing; you could love someone to pieces, but still hate them. You could love somebody to pieces, but it wouldn't matter when they still hated you. When she had thought about Arizona's reaction she had understood that her own hesitancy in coming clean about Tony had caused her to run. She finally could admit to herself that she liked that Arizona cared so much over being responsible for "Callie's fall from grace." Because, this at least showed Callie just how much her ex still cared about her. She couldn't let her leave with the guilt of that balancing on her shoulders. She wanted them to at least be friends if they could be nothing more.

As the doors closed them into the small box, preparing to descend down twenty-four floors, Callie could only stare straight ahead as she felt Arizona fidget with her jacket next to her. Why was this so hard, both of them knew they wanted to say something, but yet they stood playing chicken, neither one willing to start. Callie stood there thinking about if Arizona was guilty, angry or hurt over their kiss. Arizona stood there not wanting to admit what her sudden need to return to Seattle was. _This is how they got here, their refusal to actually talk to the other. _

Callie released a shaky breath as she tried to force her mouth to open; it had a habit of opening when she didn't want it to. But with Arizona, she could never say what she wanted to. Arizona's flight was in an hour, she knew she would never be late for a flight; she always liked to be punctual. _Do it Callie…just say something_. She chastised herself as she felt the elevator begin to move.

"I'm so sorry I broke up your relationship, this is why I need to go right now. It feels like I always end up hurting you. I knew you'd tell her because you're honorable like that and I knew, I know you need some time to fix things with her before…" Arizona's voice was so quiet, and broken.

"Arizona? Why should you allow me to fix things with Tony, I was never allowed that with…" Callie looked over to Arizona as both felt the elevator shake, grabbing at anything they were completely unprepared for what happened next.

Darkness surrounded them; the force from the mechanisms grinding to a stop left Callie flat on her ass with Arizona's body sitting uncomfortably in her lap. The noise, followed by complete darkness and screams had them both holding on tight to the other as images of the elevator crashing twenty four floors below, bringing them to a fiery death.

"Are we alive?" Arizona started feeling around, her fingers unintentionally grazing Callie's chest in the process.

"Yeah, we're um, we're fine" Callie laughed as she realised what they must have looked like, squealing like slaughtered pigs. When she felt her ex's hand come to rest where her fingers were just teasing, she became really uncomfortable. "But um, would you mind not groping me in the dark? If you wanted a sexy send-off, we could have just used my bed in the apartment." Callie teased. After the fright, Callie thought they both could do with the comic relief.

"Oh right. Sorry!" Arizona pulled her hand back as though she'd just been burned. She was embarrassed, it was dark and she didn't know where her hand had landed.

"Also, do you mind getting off me? My back kinda hurts and your bony ass is digging into my leg." Tactlessly, Callie dumped Arizona off her lap onto the floor. It had nothing to do with her being sore or Arizona's less than bony ass, but the close proximity of their bodies was just ringing danger in her ears as it echoed the same game's night hormones.

Scoffing, Arizona pouted. An act that was completely void, because of the darkness. "My ass is not bony!" Darkness hid the smiles and playfulness.

When Callie didn't respond, Arizona's stress levels snapped. "What the hell just happened?" Arizona barked sounding angrier than she really was.

"Shit." Callie laughed rubbing her forehead.

"What? What's so funny?"

"We're stuck." She laughed, her answer short and far from sweet.

"What does that mean? We're stuck?" Arizona asked.

"It means we're stuck? As in not moving?" Callie's voice lacked the teasing sarcasm Arizona expected.

"Okay for like for five minutes? Because five minutes, that's funny."

Callie remained silent trying to absorb the reality of their situation.

"But by your silence I'm thinking what's funny is_ me_ thinking five minutes. How long, Callie? This isn't funny; I have a flight to catch. Stop laughing. Stop it." Arizona was rambling and to Callie,_ that_ was funny. She missed Arizona's rambles.

"When's your flight?"

"I take off in a little over an hour." Her voice held optimism.

"You might as well make yourself comfortable; my bet is that you won't be flying out of here anytime soon." Callie closed her eyes praying for patience. "The elevator is stopped!" Callie finished condescendingly.

"Thanks Obvious Joe." Arizona snapped back. What the hell just happened with their moods? "You know what? Let's just not talk to each other, since it's apparently a hardship for you."

Dim lights came on; barely illuminating the small space. The pair could now see each other, but chose to concentrate on anything else except the other. Arizona had a quick feel of her pockets looking for her phone, when she hit the car keys she remembered that she had left her phone in her rental car. She hadn't put her watch on either. There she sat fizzing, no sense of time and adamant that she was not talking to Callie.

_Why could they not just talk to each other!_

**And I'm Ready To Suffer And I'm Ready To Hope**

"I'm sorry you missed your flight." Callie finally broke the silence, her voice apologetic.

"Do you have your phone?" Arizona's spirit raised at the idea of calling out for help. During their silence, Arizona tried the elevator phone not once, not twice, but five times before giving up hope. The damn thing's cord was so frayed, she wondered the last time it was ever in use. And every time she picked it up, Callie smirked in her corner only fuelling Arizona on each time.

"No, I left my phone back in the apartment."

"Then how do you know I missed my flight?" Her voice was still snappy.

"I know it's kinda archaic and practically a fossil, actually this one_ is_ a Fossil, but I can read my watch." Callie gasped, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Arizona couldn't help but smile; that was funny. Her _fossil_ was a Fossil. If that wasn't the perfect shift in moods, she didn't know what was. "You're still wearing that old thing?" She teased.

"It's a good watch." Callie shrugged. And one of the only things she had left from Arizona. Her 'special' necklace went the way of her wedding band to a pawnshop without looking back as both were just painful reminders of love lost, but she kept the watch Arizona bought her after Sofia was born. Surgeons needed good watches, and Arizona made certain Callie had the best since her previous watch had been destroyed or lost in the car accident. Not that her previous watch was bad, but this one was the cream of the crop, and Arizona had gotten it engraved._ There's Always Time ..._ Callie held tight to those words, and even though every day she struggled to believe them, she still found they held truth. Especially now.

"How long do you think we'll be in here?" Arizona asked, hoping that Callie had an answer; an answer_ she_ wanted to hear. Watching as Callie pulled herself off the floor, the panic hit as she felt the elevator dip as Callie jumped.

"Callie...stop it, it's not funny!" Arizona's voice was laced with dread.

Callie looked around at her and smirked before she jumped one more time making contact with her target, the maintenance hatch on the ceiling. The sudden influx of air swirling around hot bodies felt great as Callie smiled and sat back down at her original position.

"Last time I was stuck for almost five hours, and it's only been about an hour, trust me it gets a lot hotter than this." Five hours. She wasn't certain, no matter what she had to say to Arizona, that she could last five hours with her. This wasn't fun any longer, she wanted to get everything out, but she didn't know where to start, and was this small space a good place to release their demons? Callie leaned against the cool fake wood panelling of the elevator wall, closing her eyes as her head tipped back, up towards the ceiling and dimmed lights. She blinked several times trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks at any second.

Arizona sat observing the other woman. She'd aged, beautifully, but she'd still aged nonetheless and without Arizona by her side, and that saddened her. They were supposed to be forever and here they were, Arizona avoiding Callie; Callie avoiding Arizona. So they were blessed ... cursed with a few hours to talk; maybe they should utilize this time without Sofia, without a safe space for either of them. They were both vulnerable here and maybe that's what they needed all along, a place to have such a luxury.

"Callie, talk to me. Please." Arizona begged from her spot merely feet away. It's not that Arizona herself wanted to hash out the past, but at the same time, her visit to Pennsylvania had reminded her just how much she missed Callie even more than as an intimate partner, but as a friend. She missed sharing her day, her conquests in the OR, even her failures with the woman next to her. And if hashing out the past gave her back her friendship with her ex-wife, she'd deal with the fall out to get to the prize.

"You have ignored me for days, what do you want me to say to that? That I'm sorry you freaked out because you didn't have any control? That I'm sorry that's the way it's always been with us?" She didn't look at Arizona, instead just squeezing her eyes shut she stayed still as a statue.

"I'm already carrying the scarlet letter, I panicked, Callie. I didn't want to give you that burden too." Arizona answered honestly.

"It wasn't_ your_ choice to make, Arizona. You can't control everything in _my_ life."

"What? Callie, that's not, I didn't want you to cheat on your fiancee. I was protecting you." Arizona's voice quivered as she spoke the single word that haunted her more than anything else._ Fiancee._

"Fiancee?"

"Tony. You and Tony."

Callie laughed. Who the hell told Arizona that they were engaged? And where the hell did they get such an idea? Callie was done with the title of wife and Tony knew that getting involved with her._ If_ things got that far, they would tackle it as it unfolded, but they were both quite content in a long term, no labels attached relationship. "There is no, Callie and Tony. She broke things off with me days ago, _before_ we kissed Arizona. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I needed to tell you, but you blocked me off." She wasn't even bitter about Tony, she felt guilty for _not_ feeling broken. Callie loved Tony, but maybe Tony was right, she wasn't _in_ love with her.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, just know I kissed you back Arizona. I wanted to kiss you." Callie shook her head. "It's for the best, Sofia wasn't warming up to her and she took things too far this early in, I can only imagine what she'd do if we'd gotten even more serious. At the end of the day, I'll put my own happiness on hold for her."

Arizona understood what Callie was saying. Her daughter was kind of a monster when it came to her dates and had scared more than one of them away, and it would always be Sofia she picked over anyone anyway. Trying to make light of things, Arizona smiled remembering green vomit. "Once Sofia was so set on scaring off one of my dates, that she mixed peanut butter with split pea soup and pretended to vomit it all over my date's silk shirt. I didn't realize that it was a prank until she was back with you and I found the soup can and peanut butter jar under her bed. To be honest, I think some vomit was actually mixed in with the concoction because she held it in her mouth before spitting it up, and the way she was heaving was not an act. Nobody can heave that hard without bringing something up. Serves her right, but it is kinda _evil _genius."

Callie laughed actually opening her eyes to look at Arizona.

"What? That's not funny. Her dry cleaning bill was twice that of dinner, a movie, and a babysitter. Most expensive first date I've ever had." Arizona huffed.

"No. I'm not laughing at you. Well, I am but, Tony ..." Callie was laughing so hard she had to hold her stomach. "Tony met the green vomit fate too. I ... I couldn't figure out what the hell that child ate that was green and chunky, but oh my god, it makes so much sense. Brilliant little brat."

"That she is. Her favorite sabotage was the shaken can of coke. At least three dates were ruined by that one. Took me_ forever_ to catch on. I just thought she was a clumsy kid and I didn't want to make her feel bad about it." They were sharing, this was good. They were even talking about dating other people._ Friendly terms._

"That happened the night Sof met Tony, except Tony spoiled it and changed into spare clothes and still spent the evening. I figured she'd shaken the can because I never heard it hit the kitchen tiling, but I wasn't going to press the issue because she was so unhappy with Tony, I had to pick my battles." This was nice and Callie could feel herself relaxing.

"Sofia hides my legs." Arizona blurted out, trying to keep her laughing under control, as she thought about it.

"What?" Callie laughed.

"She hides my legs when she doesn't want me going out. When I go into the shower, she is the queen at making them disappear and I can never find them in time. Mom helps out. I've yet to prove that, but I don't doubt it." Arizona knew it was bad, but she always found it funny and that only encouraged their daughter. "Last time she used them to build a blanket and pillow fort." Callie couldn't stop the snort of laughter as she imagined Barbara helping.

"We're doomed to forever be single, aren't we? It's like she only wants ..." Callie stopped talking; it was like Sofia only wanted_ them_ together. It made sense,_ lots_ of sense because most fights with their daughter about Tony ended with Sofia slyly throwing Arizona in her face.

"Sofia wants her moms together." Arizona whispered into the deadly silence with hope lacing her words._ Maybe_ she did too, but she couldn't stop the divorce all those years ago and so much time had passed now that she felt pretty hopeless. "We need to talk, Callie. We need to be able to talk to each other. Why is it so hard for us to do that...we know we have to, yet we both mess it up?"

"Love is messy and makes you do incredibly stupid things, even when you think you're doing the right thing. You're right...no more running. We've got nowhere left to run..." Callie held her hands up showing that they were in their own little cell.

_Crap_. They were opening a can of worms she wasn't sure she wanted to get into, but was it really this can of worms or all proceeding cans of worms this particular one would open? "Maybe you're right._ Maybe we_ are in the past and_ we_ need to stay there." Callie refused to look at the other woman, refused to open her eyes. It felt as though they were on a merry-go-round, they were constantly fighting their feelings, just when one decided they would jump off the other wanted to get back on and vice versa.

She could hear the pain in Arizona's voice pleading with her for closure, but she also wasn't sure she wanted to give it to Arizona. She never got such a luxury so why should she give it to the woman that stole her future from them? The woman that hated her so much she sent her 2900 miles away, across the country, so she didn't have to see Callie ever again. The kind of hate Arizona harbored for the woman that cut her leg off, in nothing but love, was so strong that she couldn't even look at Callie and that was something Callie just couldn't forget, she didn't think she could forgive that.

"We have a daughter, Callie."

"It's funny you remember her when it's convenient for you." Callie laughed bitterly.

"That's not fair." Arizona snapped, quickly reigning in her anger. "That's not fair." Her voice softened. "I love Sofia."

"I know. I know." Callie rubbed her hands over her face, her voice muffled by her palms. Swallowing a few times, she turned her head facing the woman of both her dreams and nightmares. It was her turn to notice that Arizona had aged, but so had she. They both sported the already deepening stress lines outlining their lips except, while Callie found her own to only be reminders of her age, her not so easy past, Arizona's only added to her striking beauty. She hated the butterflies just looking at her ex-wife gave her. She hated that her ex-wife had any emotional hold over her at all. "I'm sorry." She whispered, feeling guilty for lashing out with immaturity. A yelling match in a broken elevator where they were trapped for the foreseeable future was not going to be of any good to either of them.

"I asked you why you wouldn't talk to me. Aside from the obvious, but I know you, you don't hold grudges. It's not in you, but with me, you … we're raising a daughter through technological communications, that's not healthy for her or for us."

Callie looked down at her hands balled in tight fists in her lap. Flexing her fingers, she counted briefly to ten in her head before speaking calmly. "I was giving you what you wanted, a clean break from ..." her voice dropped a few octaves, tears tickled the back of her throat. "From me."

Arizona remained quiet, confused was an understatement. Even through the divorce, they'd remained friendly. The bitterness her indiscretions had caused were put aside for the sake of their child. They didn't socialize, but they were civil, treating each other with mutual respect, so this new revelation came out of left field.

When her ex-wife didn't answer, Callie looked up again, only to see the confusion etched on Arizona's face, except she also remained silent waiting out the response she was certain would break her heart all over again.

"We have a child together, what makes you think I would ever want that?" Arizona watched grief wash over Callie's face. Reaching out, she put a hand on her ex-wife's thigh. "Callie, we have a past together, and granted not all of it needs to make the history books, but erasing you from what was the best years of my life is not something I ever, ever, _ever _wanted. We were making it work. What happened? You hit Pennsylvania and went cold and incommunicado almost immediately, I thought this job, a new start was what you needed."

Callie scoffed, rolling her eyes and scooting further away from Arizona's touch. How dare her ex-wife act not only sentimental, but act as if she was completely oblivious to her actions that landed Callie in Pennsylvania.

"_Care to explain why __Thomas __Jefferson called to confirm my transfer to their hospital? And why the board voted on breaking my contract without my knowledge or opinion on the matter?" Callie marched up to her ex-wife who was surrounded by both interns and residents, but not caring if she was causing a scene._

"_Can we talk about this later when I drop Sofia off? I'm kind of busy." Arizona skirted out of her ex-wife's reach moving slightly behind Karev in hopes he could buffer the anger boiling visibly on the surface of Callie's face._

"_No!" She yelled, the group of other doctors parting like the red sea and disappearing before Arizona could grab ano__ther __one as a shield. Even Karev jumped and ran like a scared rat. "You … you don't get say over my life anymore Arizona. You don't get that right any longer. You lost that when a stupid leg was more important than your life and your wife."_

_Holding up her hands in a sign of surrender, Arizona stepped back. "Whoa, whoa. This isn't about me, Calliope. Can we please talk about this in private, isn't there enough gossip going around about us?"_

"_And __whose__ fault is that, Dr. Robbins?" Callie barked. She was so high strung after her conversation with __Thomas __Jefferson that she was on full attack mode. They expected her to start in a month. In two weeks time, her contract at Grey was up and all of this went on behind her back. She was livid and as Arizona retreated toward a quieter, more private place, Callie followed nowhere near done giving Arizona an earful._

"_Please calm down, Callie." Arizona begged, shutting the door behind the steaming mad brunette woman with murder in her eyes._

"_Calm down? Calm down? You … you … how could you?" Callie took a deep breath, tears pricking her eyes. "We share custody, 50/50. Nothing happens with Sofia unless we go before the judge again and … and if I leave, I lose my daughter, you know that. You know if I take a job across the country, Sofia stays here with you. It's in our custody agreement. We agreed all decisions were made based in the best interest of her welfare; not mine, not yours, but hers. I am not leaving my daughter. I've already lost you, I will not lose her too."_

"_So she'll go with you." Arizona's voice cracked with the pain of the reality she'd been learning hard to accept. She realized that keeping Sofia away from Callie would harm her ex-wife even more than their divorce, and while she didn't want to give up her daughter, miss out on a single moment of her life, she knew it was in her daughter's best interest to give Callie majority custody. It would be holidays and summers for her here on out, and she'd grow to accept that. She had to do this._

"_What?" Callie stopped pacing and turned to face Arizona as her ex-wife collapsed brokenly into the chair closest to her._

"_Sofia will go to Pennsylvania with you. We will rework our custody agreement. I'm … I'm not giving her up, I just..." Arizona paused, unable to admit to Callie that this was her olive branch. She couldn't explain that she knew by keeping Callie in Seattle, where she had nothing and nobody, that she was slowly disappearing from the amazing woman, amazing doctor into a lifeless person who nobody recognized any longer. This opportunity was something Callie shouldn't turn down just because she felt obligated to make good on the promises she made when she asked Arizona to be Sofia's mama. If they didn't have a daughter together, Arizona was certain Callie would have packed up after the divorce and left. Without Mark or Webber or … or her, Callie had nobody left in Seattle, aside from a few friendships she'd let go to the wayside, because she just didn't have it in her any longer to try to hold relationships together when they were going to ultimately fail and break her even more. Arizona was giving Callie back her life, a place to start over without being reminded every single day of her past, their mistakes. She was letting Callie go._

"_I don't understand." Because Callie didn't. After the storm settled, after all the screaming and accusations were done being exchanged, and Callie refused to take any steps in fixing a marriage she saw as hopeless, Arizona's main concern was their daughter. Sofia coming out of this as unharmed as possible was her main goal, her driving force in an amicable divorce because she had no other choice. Fighting Callie was useless because adultery was grounds for an immediate divorce where she'd have limited say in just about anything. Sofia wasn't even officially and legally hers when they started divorce proceedings, but Callie made sure to give Arizona her rights to their daughter; full rights even with the reasoning behind why they were in court in the first place. Yes, Arizona had some say allotted by the law, but since there wasn't three-parent adoption in Washington before Marks' death, they were limited and that would include very limited visitations, if any at all,__ and all that depended on the judge on the bench. If they were a pro-family, anti-equality judge, Arizona would never see her daughter again.__ The year following Mark's death gave them no time to seek full parental rights for Arizona, not that she was in the right frame of mind to ask for them with her constant descent down the rabbit hole she'd been stuck spira__l__ling aimlessly in. But Callie made sure to make them happen and Arizona didn't question it. She didn't argue or fight any other step as long as she secured her place in her daughter's life, legally. Not that she thought Callie would be vindictive and keep their daughter away, but she needed the legalese for her own state of mind._

"_You'll go to Pennsylvania with Sofia and I'll, I'll get her on holidays, most of the summer when she's not in camp. A week here or there before she starts school." Arizona tried hard to remain stoic; if Callie thought she had doubts, she wouldn't think twice about staying in Seattle because through it all, her ex-wife's heart, though broken, shattered, was still in the right place._

"_Why is it so important to you that I go to Pennsylvania? We made a shared custody agreement for a reason."_

"_Just go to Pennsylvania, Calliope. My parents said you could bunk with them until you found a place. Mom's in heaven with the thought of Sofia being around for her to spoil. It's the job of a lifetime." Arizona yelled. She didn't mean to, but she was losing her cool and if they fought over this much longer, she'd cave and beg Callie to stay. She'd beg Callie not to take her daughter __2900 __miles away from her and she'd beg Callie to throw their divorce out of the window and try. Stay and try to fix things because she was different, losing Callie changed her. She was broken without her wife. She was lost and needed Callie to make her whole. So she yelled at Callie and pretended to be angry._

"_But Sofia ..." Callie looked wounded and hurt._

"_This isn't about Sofia. Go to freaking Pennsylvania, Callie. Just go. I don't want you here." Arizona screamed, tears streaking down her cheeks, she was visibly shaking._

_The venom in her ex-wife's voice shook her to the core, her point very clear to Callie. Arizona couldn't even look at her. Arizona hated her so much she'd give up precious time with her daughter in order to never have to see Callie again. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. Until today she was sure her heart couldn't break any more, but she was wrong because it just shattered into a thousand more little pieces._

The memories burned into her mind broke her again and again, and Callie just couldn't forget them no matter how hard she tried. Arizona sent her to Pennsylvania because she hated her and Callie couldn't talk to her because the pain, even almost six years later, had lessened none.

"Talk to me, please. Sofia's going to catch on, if she hasn't already, and I've tried hard to rectify my mistakes, Callie. I'm terrified every day she's going to figure out that I destroyed her family and hate me for it so I'm begging you, please."

It was Callie's turn to be confused. Rectify her mistakes? Yes, she didn't argue the divorce or cause any real problems, but what had Arizona done to rectify her … her … her affair? "If you didn't want Sofia so affected by everything, maybe you should have thought about that before you sent us a country away so you wouldn't have to see my face again. Maybe you should have thought about that before she would wonder why she had to travel with her Gramma between Mommy's and Mama's because her Mama couldn't face the woman she hated with every ounce of her being."

"I … uh, what? What are you talking about? I don't hate you. I … I, Pennsylvania was my way of making things right!" Arizona argued.

Callie laughed bitterly again. "Yeah, tell me another one. You couldn't bear to see me around and remind you I fucked up your life. You couldn't stand to be on the same fucking coast as me even, so you sent me here to make _your _life easier."

"No. No Callie. No. That's not it at all." Arizona scooted the four feet between them, grabbing at Callie's hands, begging her to look at her. "No Callie. I don't hate you. God, I was giving you your own fresh start. This was about you. I ruined your life in Seattle; I couldn't bear to watch you continue to disappear any longer. Look at me Cal, please."

Tears angrily fell down Callie's cheeks, disbelief apparent in her eyes. "So you sent me to Pennsylvania because it was the career of a lifetime, where I could start over … alone? Everything I had left was in Seattle. Everyone I had left and you thought it was in my best interest to what ..."

"Mom. Mom was in Pennsylvania. And the Colonel. They were going to take care of you. They did. They do. I couldn't … I wasn't allowed any longer, _I lost that right_. I was the reason you needed somebody to take care of you, but they didn't do anything wrong and you'd let them. You did let them. I destroyed your sense of security in Seattle, and giving you a dream job, giving you space from me, giving up time with my daughter to right my wrongs with you and making sure you'd be cared for was what Pennsylvania was about. You hadn't seen friends in Seattle in six months after our divorce. Bailey didn't even know we'd sold both apartments in the building and moved separately across town from each other because you stopped sharing anything about yourself with anybody. You needed a clean slate from me. It wasn't because I hated you, I didn't and I don't. It took months for me to stop crying over losing you two. I'd sit in the on-call room in the ortho wing because I swore the sheets and pillows still smelled like you and it was all I had. I sent you away Callie, but only to save you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you thought otherwise. I am. Please believe me." She was squeezing Callie's hands in her own, but they'd relaxed from the fists they began as, weakened by Arizona's words; her belief in Arizona's reasoning. A silent storm of tears ragged down Callie's cheeks, Arizona's own emotions mirroring those of her ex-wife's. Over five years Callie had been carrying the false truths that had put an even bigger wedge in their already fragile existence. For over five years Arizona had believed Callie hated her just as much as her ex-wife believed it true in reverse. Over five years of a repair in at least friendship wasted because as normal, they lacked the ability to communicate, thinking they could fix things for the other without their input. Isn't their lack of communication, their lack of including the other in decisions, in everything because they had to handle it on their own, isn't that what got them where they were today?

Unable to watch Callie break apart any longer, Arizona pulled her broken ex-wife into her arms, situating them until they clung onto each other, riding out the storm of tears.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know and, and I'm sorry." Callie hiccuped into Arizona's neck.

"Me too. It's my fault too. I should have told you." Arizona squeezed harder, the feeling of Callie in her arms breaking down years of walls she'd put up to keep anybody else out. "God, how did we get here, Callie? We were supposed to be the ones that made it. We were so good at overcoming the odds; they were always against us, but we knew that and still didn't care."

Callie pulled back, moving until they were both sitting back against the wall, still slightly tangled, but far enough apart to start talking … start really and finally talking. "We don't talk Arizona; we try to fix the other. We were meant to be a couple, but we never acted like one. On the outside to everyone else we were great, but we never communicated properly. Our baby issue was forgotten about because of the shooting. We never talked about Africa properly because of what Mark and I did. And then the car crash happened, and we diluted that with the wedding. You know, I thought about it constantly, I had lots of different reasons in my head about what happened, but I just kept coming back to you wanted to hurt me. You wanted to destroy me. The way I'd destroyed your life." Callie answered calmly, her voice void of bitterness.

"Callie." The devastation left Arizona's throat shakily.

"No, Arizona. I get it now. I've had years to think about it. You were hurting, but you jumped her at the first chance you got. At the time you told me you lost control; it's not an excuse Arizona. You're always in control, our whole relationship has been you in control…until I took the control out of your hands and cut off your damn leg. You were bitter, pissed that I took that decision from you. But you were clearly in control when you decided to kiss a woman you'd only knew two days. Screw her in an on-call room. All without a second thought about me, or our daughter. I had a screaming match with Hunt because I was going to do everything possible to save your leg. I told him I knew I would lose you if I cut off that leg. I tried Arizona, but you're a surgeon, put on your big girl pants and take some responsibility. You know better than anyone you have to make split second decisions. Sofia had lost her father, I wasn't going to let her lose her mother too…I knew I'd lose you, I knew. I_ fucking_ knew it. But you gave me false hope, because everything seemed to be getting better. I didn't want to rock the boat and you didn't want to talk about it. So yes that's on me, thinking that you were starting to get yourself back." Callie started hyperventilating as she got angrier and angrier as her voice escalated, her fears coming to a head. Years of emotions and thoughts all fought to be heard.

**Apple, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie, Who's Not Ready, Holler I**

Cristina was going crazy. She'd checked under every bed, in every closet, but Sofia's game of hide and seek was by far the best the kid had ever played. "Olly olly oxen free." She kept hollering over and over again except the brat wouldn't come out of hiding. Cristina knew she didn't often wear her hearing aid at home so maybe Sofia couldn't hear her? Except after checking the container she held it in, it was empty which meant the kid_ had_ to have the damn thing in.

"Yo, Little Doc, come out. You win. Come on..." Cristina begged.

"Sofia!"

"This isn't funny, I'm done playing, get your little butt out here."

"Olly. Olly. Oxen. Free." She growled. "That means come out, Kid. You win!" She was losing her temper at an alarming rate.

"Sofia, you are in so much trouble..." She heard the front door open and watched the little girl come inside without looking up at her aunt.

"You weren't supposed to leave the apartment, Sofia. How was I supposed to find you outside?" She asked and Sofia only shrugged.

"Sofia, what's wrong?" Cristina watched her wipe away at her cheeks, trying to hide the tears. "Sofia, where were you? Were you at the elevator?" She watched her goddaughter nod and her stomach fell to the floor.


	10. Caught In The Chaos Of Life

**AN**: Thank you as always goes out to **SportsFan** and **Zoe** for dealing with our endless panicking and constantly bringing us back down to earth. We really appreciate EVERYTHING they've done for us; this story wouldn't be what it is without you. We hope you know that. Thank you, thank you. Thank you **Shinata-Riyoko** for working hard on our very poor grammar and punctuation, you probably deserve an award for our over AND underuse of commas and apostrophes.

Thank you goes out to everybody that takes the time to read and review, it really helps us in tweaking out future chapters and making certain we aren't missing anything. You guys are pretty great, you should remember that.

We apologize for the lateness of this chapter, one of us lost her mojo but it seems to be back and we can pull together and really give you guys the best we have. We will be trying to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, we just have a few kinks to work out and it'll be out ASAP. Things are getting deep but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and possibly sooner rather than later. We love you!

Nic and Sadie. Sadie and Nic.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Caught In The Chaos Of Life**

**I Become Afraid Of the Darkness In My Heart, Hurricane**

"I want Gramma." Sofia started crying uncontrollably. "I want to go to Gramma's. I hate it here. I hate them both." Cristina watched as the small child threw herself onto her cushions in the corner of the sitting room that housed her toys. Crossing her arms, trying to show nothing but anger, except her small sad eyes became waterfalls the harder she tried.

"What happened? What did you hear, Sofia?" They were playing a game of hide-and-seek, this new shift in moods was unexpected and a complete surprise for Cristina, so it only could mean that Sofia had overheard something that she shouldn't have been aware of in the first place. Moving over to the small child, she kneeled in front of her, her own heart breaking at the state her goddaughter was in.

"Mommy." She sucked in a deep breath trying to stretch her lungs. "She ... she lied to me." Sofia collapsed into Cristina's arms, her world caving in around her. "Mommy said they divorced cuz they wanted different things, but they didn't. Mama _kissed someone else_. She didn't love us. _She didn't want us_." She cried so hard she was again gasping for oxygen.

_Crap._ Cristina shook her head. "Did you hear this from the hall?" She didn't know what to say to make it better and if Sofia was upset over lying, Cristina was not going to make it worse by continuing to do so. "Your mama loves you very much, Little Doc."

"Well, I don't love her. I want Gramma. I _only _love Gramma." She hung onto her aunt and cried. She didn't want to hear it, she just wanted her gramma to make it better.

"Thanks, Little Doc. I'm truly hurt." Cristina mocked a painful expression trying to bring Sofia out of her current distraught state.

"Don't tease me. It's not funny. I love you too but only you and Gramma." She wiped at her eyes giving her godmother a stern look.

"Okay. Okay. Look, you go get your stuff together, pack an overnight bag. Does Barbara … uh, your Gramma have a machine there for you with meds?" Cristina asked.

"Uhuh."

"Okay, go pack. I'll be right back to get you. We are going to have to take the stairs slow and easy for you. Can you go get a flashlight from where your mommy keeps them?" Cristina watched as Sofia nodded and then she waited until the small child was in her room before marching out of the apartment towards the elevator. Waiting outside, she could clearly hear the two women at each other's throats. Even if Sofia hadn't used her hearing aid to help her in eavesdropping, what they were saying, screaming, was clear as day.

**We Drank Champagne And Danced All Night, Under Electric Candle Light**

What had started off as calm, took on an uncontrollable hurricane of emotions. A life of its own. There was no other way but to scream and shout because they didn't hear each other any other way. They needed to feel each other and this was what was left; shattering revelations coming to light, emotions they needed to get of their chests.

"I've been thinking, have you ever properly loved me or have I always been a control issue for you? This time apart has made me see things clearly, I mean _I've really thought about everything_. You have always done what suited you. God, the only reason you even proposed to me was because you were trying to get my attention away from Mark. Trying to outdo Mark. You always were trying to outdo Mark, but newsflash Arizona, I chose you. Mark was never in the running."

"Oh, so he wasn't in the running when you'd screwed him as soon as my ass was in Africa or did you even wait for me to land, were you fucking him after I boarded the plane to Africa? Had I even taken off? I think you'll find he was sure on your radar then." Arizona scoffed as she managed to sneak that into the conversation finally after all this time. Which just made Callie raise her voice higher and the temperature in the small space increased again.

"YOU left me, broke up with me in a freaking airport because I got pissy for a few days. The fact was, I would have followed you there, followed you _anywhere_; I left MY life behind for YOU. Nobody ever was in the _running_ because it was always _just _you, Arizona." Callie took a deep breath trying to sort her head because Arizona threw her off bringing up Africa. "_I chose you! _But that never mattered to you because you never cared to see it. _You _had to control everything and you proposed and then _you _almost killed us all. But I have never once thrown the car crash in your face Arizona, and it was your fault. Not fucking once." She wiped away the tears blinding her. "IT WAS YOUR FAULT!" She finished screaming.

"You didn't have your seatbelt on…" Arizona screamed back, her temper completely out of control with Callie's accusations. It was one thing that she had always blamed herself for it. She had always known that she hadn't watched the road as well as she should have been doing. She never forgot that, ever. But hearing it from Callie's mouth made it even more real and even more painful.

"And you weren't meant to be on the FRICKEN plane Arizona; you were pissed at Karev. You couldn't control Nick being terminal and _my _inability to fix him. You took out your anger on Alex. The guy that you had been building up all these years, you made him this great guy, your best friend,_ your_ savior, and yet you couldn't handle that_ you _couldn't control what his decision would be. You couldn't control the fact that he was picking Hopkins, over you." She could barely breathe, pounding her fists against her thighs, tears streaming down her cheeks, her heart beating erratically as her temper flared and flared. "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE PLANE! You said that _I_ wanted the glory of surviving the plane crash that _I_ didn't lose anything. Well newsflash: _I_ lost _my _wife and _my _best friend in those woods. I lost my whole damn family and we would have lost our damn hospital too, I was just trying to do right by everyone. _I was the only one trying to do anything._ Do you want me to remind you who's fault it was why the hospital's insurance was null and void ... cuz you weren't supposed to be on the plane!" Callie screamed so loud her voice cracked, her throat burning from the bile of truth. Sobbing herself into a coughing fit, Callie tipped her head back, closing her eyes, squeezing them tight until the storm passed over. Breathing deep, she counted to ten, opening her eyes again to see Arizona looking back over her with shock and the recognition of her words on her face. Taking another deep breath she lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "We got in this mess because we don't talk, Arizona. We never have properly been able to talk. Everything has always been skimmed over and I take my share of responsibility for that." Arizona said nothing as she waited for Callie to completely calm down. She couldn't say anything. How was it even possible? The things Callie said were true to point, and she couldn't argue with that.

"I have forgiven you for what you _said _that night, for the sake of our daughter. I saw the shock on your face at what came out, but there was also that split second of complete hatred for me all over your face. And I don't think I'll ever forget that look in your eyes, but even worse Arizona, you screwed her, you cheated on me; you tore apart our family for a few minutes of pleasure or whatever that was for you. I ... I _just don't know _if I could ever forgive that. I've never been given reason to anyway so it never mattered." Callie's temper softened when she got that off her chest, looking at Arizona, she realised that being stuck in the small space with her had already taken it's toll on her, and everything they were saying was only making things worse.

Arizona went to scoot further away from Callie, unable to be any closer to her, she just needed space. Callie's honesty, the truth behind her words burned Arizona with ultimate disgrace. When she grimaced from pain, Callie's heart broke. Sitting on the hard floor was uncomfortable for somebody with two working legs, add that to Arizona having walked all over with Sofia in the morning and not having taken much care of herself, Callie knew she was in sheer pain. She might have conflicting feelings for her ex-wife, but she had a heart still, and it still beat for Arizona.

"That's how we got here, why we're here at all. We don't speak to each other. I don't even know if we know how or if we ever did." Callie repeated feeling as though a weight had been lifted, finally saying everything that had been stirring in the pit of her stomach for years, and though it did not take away the pain, it at least eased some of the pressure. She deflated slightly like a bottle of fizzy pop, release the lid slightly letting out some of the gas stops it exploding. She was calm again because of it, and when Arizona's physical pain broke through her own tumultuous storm of emotional despair, she automatically clicked into old times.

"Hey, while you two are having world war three in there, do me a favor and don't kill each other. I don't want to have to explain to your daughter why her moms are dead." Cristina hollered through the metal doors. "And while you're at it, keep your damn voices down, the entire floor can hear you two bickering like fools." She was so angry that if she could, she'd give them a piece of her mind, but with Sofia just down the hall she was going to protect her goddaughter and not make matters worse. She knew they needed to get it out, clear the air, and it was partly her fault that they were in there. Only partly, since she put most of the blame on their own shoulders for not having dealt with any of this until now. She was the mastermind that trapped them in there, but she just wanted what Sofia wanted; for them to be happy again. Damn that kid planting ideas in her head. She wasn't the hopeless romantic type. Sometimes marriages just didn't work and she should have left well enough alone. But saying no to Sofia was easier said than done. It was easier to walk away from her own marriage than it was to say no to her goddaughter in general. It just didn't happen, and now she had to put the pieces of her goddaughter back together because of it.

They both sat staring at each other, not saying a word, both feeling equally chastised. Callie was humiliated because she lived there and Arizona was humiliated because they were causing a scene. They never could control their emotions where the other one was concerned.

**Cause Looking For Heaven, Found The Devil In Me**

"Look, you're sore, here let me." It didn't occur to her that it was inappropriate, and she had no right to touch her because Callie began to reach for Arizona's leg, but when she quickly pulled away from the touch, Callie looked defeated. Understanding flew out the window or elevator escape hatch to be exact.

"I didn't do it to be cruel Callie..." Arizona looked ashamed as she realised she subconsciously, but automatically pulled away from Callie. She understood that Callie's rant, although it hurt, was the same as what happened that night...a storm of built up emotions exploding with nowhere else to go but directly through the others heart. "Let me try to explain this time please. The danger is that I'm worried that I'll just push you further away again, but Callie I really need you to listen and I realize that this situation is mean because you can't get away, but we really need to figure this out, if not for us then at least for Sofia. You're right we don't talk and we sure as hell don't listen to each other when we do, because we're past the point of understanding when _talking_ happens. But we can't continue to avoid each other or when we are in the same room this explosion happens." Where Callie was a mess, Arizona took the calm route because she knew they needed to clarify things without blame. Well, unwarranted blame at the very least. They both shouldered enough of the real blame and didn't need extra emotionally spurred feelings that had little place except to escalate things to an unhealthy level.

"I know, I'm sorry. I guess I've been holding that in longer than I thought. What I thought is that I'd never get to say it, so I guess having the chance..." Callie shrugged avoiding eye contact and staring at the floor under her legs. "I'm sorry I blew up on you."

"It's okay. Well, it's understandable, but it's my time to talk now. I just need you to hear me out, okay?" Arizona gave a weak smile, nodding her head in hopes to get Callie to agree. "Please let me say what I need to without you getting on the defensive. We never let each other say what we needed to, we either avoided issues or explode ... which is a rational reaction considering, but we won't solve anything that way."

"I'm listening." Callie sat quietly giving Arizona the floor.

"I didn't and couldn't understand the reason why I did what I did. It's taken me awhile, a lot of therapy and a lot of loss to figure it out."

"What?" Callie laughed. "You? You went to therapy?" Arizona looked ashamed. It wasn't for the fact she went to therapy. She was ashamed that it had taken her so long to have done it. She was ashamed because that pesky what-if still lingered in her mind and often. What-if she'd gone before they broke ... what-if?

"Everyday. Everyday I look down and see a constant reminder of what I've lost." Arizona caught Callie's further discomfort as she saw _her _now shift more out of reach. "Callie." She said gently. "Look at me please." She waited until Callie could look at her. "It's not the leg. Everyday comes and it's here to remind me that ... that I _have _another day, because of you. I wasn't able to thank you for that because it took me so long, too long to realize that. Another day with Sofia is more than I should have had if you ... if you hadn't ..." She couldn't finish the thought. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Arizona worked quickly to center herself, to push the irrational and irrelevant pain aside. "The past is behind us, it's something I can never change, but I don't want to let it hold me back any longer. I don't want it to hold _us _back any longer. I admit, the truth is, when Sofia told me about you going to marry Tony, I thought my heart was going to disintegrate. It did some maybe. It made me realize that I can't lose you. It snapped me back." Arizona watched Callie struggle to keep her thoughts internalized and realized she needed to hear what Callie had to say. She'd only hurt both of them by making her keep it inside no matter how much it would hurt to hear it. "What? What are you thinking?" She pushed.

"My first thoughts?" Callie laughed bitterly as Arizona nodded in response. "Too little, too late. I ... I don't see how it mattered, you losing me, when you'd already lost me." It wasn't accusatory, it was sadness. Truthful sadness.

Arizona sighed, nodding in agreement. "I pushed you away because I loved you so damn much, but come on Callie, look at everything. I continued to break you. I needed to let you go, give you something since I took so much away from you already. You had become a ghost, walking the halls, barely a shadow of your former self because of me. And me? I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the monster looking back. I didn't know who I'd become." Arizona still had some run-ins with that monster, it was nothing she couldn't handle any longer, but the shame of who she was, and who she had turned into was still a very powerful emotion. Callie watched the storm of emotions in Arizona's eyes. The honesty behind her words were nothing but truth and that much Callie could tell. She could also tell that Arizona wasn't done, just collecting her thoughts so she nodded when they made eye contact in a show of support and Arizona went on. "My therapist suggested for me to write you a letter, to explain to you the reasons I sent you _here_; well, what got us to_ that_ point; the divorce in general; everything. But I never sent it, I guess I looked at it and saw me luring you back, and I couldn't do that to you. I know I've hurt you just as much by not sending it, but if I was ever going to tell you, I needed it to be face to face." Arizona looked down at her prosthetic, rolling up her trouser leg; she removed it and let the air get to her limb. "So here goes nothing..." She whispered as she expelled some air.

"That night, Callie, I had been clinging to any memory of who I was before the crash. I thought I was angry at you. I guess I was angry with you, but there was so much more to it, to everything. I was angry because you broke a promise to me; a promise I knew you could never keep because life is out of your control sometimes. I was angry because my head was telling me you were only staying with me out of guilt, you cut off my leg. I felt like I was spiralling out of control, Callie. At first the flirting was nice, it was innocent. _Please_ believe me, it was innocent, like when you would flirt with Ted down in films. It was harmless. I felt so awkward all the time, but she looked at me and saw me for who I felt I used to be, sexy, and desirable. She never knew the whole me, so yes I found the attention to be... to be exhilarating. I had become so numb and she made me feel like who I was before. I could forget about the damn leg; it wasn't an issue. It was nice being the one at the center of attention and it not being about the leg, the crash, or the hospital. Yes, completely selfish of me. I know this now, but then you were so wrapped up in everything else going on, I just needed to feel..."

"What, something other than a pity fuck? Is that what you thought of me when I touched you? When I tried to kiss you, you just thought it wasn't because I loved you, I just felt sorry for you?"

"This isn't working. You're not listening. Just ... let me start over, okay?" She waited for an answer, a nod, a verbal response. She needed to make certain Callie was going to be involved in this conversation and not just a presence in the room.

Callie squeezed her eyes shut, tears escaping the closed lids. Taking deep breath after deep breath, she finally responded. First opening her mouth, but nothing coming out, following it up with a quick, chaste nod.

"Yes I loved you from the moment I set eyes on you; I wanted nothing but you. You are the one thing I have never wanted control over and I love that. Believe me. Please sit there and listen knowing that my love for you never waned even in the worst of the worst, even in _my _worst. Maybe some of the bitterness you harbor for me can be put aside if you know that's the truth. I promise, okay?" When Callie could only laugh, a rather humorless laugh over a bitterness laced one, Arizona realized her words. "Poor choice of words, I know."

"No, it's fine. I just find promises being made between us to hold little value anymore. And they don't often come out of my mouth either." Callie admitted. She didn't ever say those words, to anybody. They were dangerous and she was terrified of the fallout from ever using them again. "I'll stop. Just ... just keep going.

"I'm not passing blame here, I take full responsibility for my actions. The therapist told me about how, in all trauma cases, there will always be a trigger. I'm not using it as an excuse, I'm just trying to explain. Control Callie, you were right earlier. Control is my trigger. It's such a major part of who I was in_ a lot_ of my life, not all of it, just a lot. But I felt like I had lost it all. Laur...She gave me permission to lose control and that triggered me. I realised in that moment that I could take control back. I made that decision...I wanted to feel like me again. That moment was the worst decision I'd ever made, but in the heat of the moment, I couldn't think past my own selfishness."

"So she made you feel something other than the hate I made you feel?" Callie's voice was almost a whisper.

"No, God Callie, no! I felt numb. And when I wasn't feeling numb, I felt nothing, but guilt. I was so filled with shame, all the time, and then we fought, and the poison, it came like a freight train, I couldn't stop it. It was out, I was angry. I blamed you. Ever since the crash I could see the darkness growing in my head and I kept trying to ignore it, be who I used to be. One decision fucked up my life, I blamed you, but the truth of it was I made the decision to get on the plane and I couldn't take responsibility for my actions. I did this to us, I didn't want to hurt you anymore so I let you go. I was in a dark place and I was searching for just a glimpse of who I used to be. The thing was, I was changing before the plane crash. You...our life together has changed me, I never saw that until I had lost you. I never thought I wanted children until I realised that I couldn't live without you. I never stopped loving you, but I knew if we had stayed together and just carried on the way we were, we would have destroyed everything we fell in love with the other about. The time apart, it was horrible, but needed." Arizona looked quickly into Callie's eyes, which were listening intently. As she tried to calm her breathing again, her fingers twisted the material of her shirt. Her hands needed something to take her mind off the pain that was burning from her scar. "I'm scared Callie, I'm scared because I left it too long. It was never meant to have been this long." Arizona sat quietly, waiting for her judge and jury to return with its decision. If they wanted something more for their daughter than the lame attempt at making up for her losses without giving her solid ground to stand on, this was it.

**When I'm Weak, I Am Stronger Now**

"I wasn't innocent."

"What?" Arizona wasn't expecting that.

"I know I wasn't innocent, Arizona. I knew that, but you gave me little chance to take responsibility for that. We ... we didn't talk and things started looking up. I thought, I didn't want to rock that damn boat again. I didn't want to set us back because I was terrified going back, we'd never find out way out again. I knew things weren't right, everyone else in the accident had found their peace so to speak, but you _never_ talked about it and I didn't push you enough in that respect. I pushed you for sex...for that physical aspect when you needed my help emotionally. I just wanted my Arizona back, but I didn't help you try to find her again. I thought we were better, I thought that because we had rekindled intimately, that everything was better. Maybe I knew better, I did, if I look back on things, but I was… I was so scared Arizona. My world was in shambles and I needed something to hold onto as well. I needed some peace of mind, but I never wanted you to feel as though I was only there because I had done that to you. I thought that if we could love each other again, have sex again, that it meant you loved me again and you didn't hate me anymore. I was too busy trying to fix everything around me that I never realised just how much I should have been fixing my wife. Maybe I was afraid that I couldn't fix you. When I tried to begin with ... well, that's how we ended up here. I couldn't fix you. But selfishly, I thought we were good or on our way to it, and that's my fault for not seeing it. Maybe if I had then we wouldn't be in this position." Callie looked down at her hands. "If we are going to try and move forward then we need to talk, we can't try and fix the other anymore or ... or the past. We have to make decisions together, as a family."

Arizona nodded enthusiastically. She was in. This was her chance, finally. "I'd like that." She whispered as emotions choked her.

Callie smiled wildly, she let a shaky gust of air dispel as she tried to keep her tears from falling. Relieved, after pent up years of anger and hatred, although not gone completely, had started to release its tight grip on her heart. "Hi. I'm Calliope Torres. But my friends call me, Callie. Ortho, currently stuck in an elevator. Pleased to meet you." Callie laughed as she saw Arizona's wide eyes sparkle in a way she never thought she'd ever see again, as she jokingly stuck her hand out waiting for Arizona to take it.

"Arizona Robbins, Peds. I have one leg, also stuck in an elevator and I really need to pee!"

They both laughed hard, the stress in the room evaporating with each passing second. Arizona smiled and then she realised she had to come clean about the reason she was flying back to Seattle. "Callie, in the name of full disclosure, I have something to admit." Callie looked at her suspiciously.

**If You Close Your Eyes Does It Almost Feels Like Nothing Changed At All?**

"Dr Torres?" A booming male voice interrupted them, bringing them from their conversation into the present. "Are you in there? Your daughter stopped by the office with _that_ rude woman, says you got yourself trapped again." The man on the other side of the steel doors chuckled at Callie's very audible growl.

"For what I pay to live in this building, you'd think they could fix this faulty wire problem." Callie yelled through the door to John, the maintenance man.

"Floor by floor, Dr T. Forty-one floors takes a while, and the old building complicates things. It'll get fixed." He told her this every time, and every time it did nothing to abate her annoyance over it all.

Sighing, Callie shook her head. "I know but this is my..."

"Seventh time this year." He laughed again. "The missus figures with your luck, you'll hit fifteen before the year is out."

"Oh goodie!" Callie clapped sarcastically, her mind now fully on focusing on their exit and no longer on the tail end of their conversation.

Arizona couldn't help but laugh. "At least being a surgeon has taught you to hold your bladder?"

Everybody was finding humor in her seriously bad luck and Callie couldn't help but find it too. "Me, yes. Sofia? Not so much. One time I had to down an entire cup of hot coffee and then carefully balance her to pee in it." She shook her head at the memory. "At least I always carry wipes on me."

"Holy shit, that's where she learned it from!" Arizona smiled at her own memory, even if it wasn't really something to smile at, although now she at least understood that her daughter wasn't as twisted and demented as she thought. Oh, she was still twisted and demented, but the idea wasn't all her own.

"What?" Callie barely heard the mumble, but the smile spreading across Arizona's face caught her attention.

"Trust me, you don't want to know. Just know it's why I _still _have baby locks on my cabinet doors and Sofia's NOT allowed to offer my dates drinks any longer. And we don't carry apple juice AT ALL."

"Oh gross! _Your _daughter has issues." Callie caught on quickly, completely grossed out.

"Why is she my daughter when she's bad? I wasn't even certain it happened until you mentioned her ability to urinate in a glass. I mean, we were pretty sure, but who does that stuff?" Arizona asked humor lacing her voice.

"I didn't teach her any of this stuff. You let her hang out with Karev and Yang too much, I'm blaming you."

"Fair enough." Because Arizona couldn't deny that those two hadn't taught her daughter some seriously bad things. More than once she had to punish Karev for teaching her daughter some pretty foul language and that was the best of the worst of it.

"You two want out today or are you going to continue trading war stories?" John peeked his head between the doors he'd just pried open.

Looking up, Callie realized they were between floors when the elevator stopped. They hadn't gotten far, she could still see the number on the side of the entrance with a large 24, but being between floors meant they had to climb out. Arizona was still massaging her leg, and climbing out, crawling to get herself back up on her feet was not going to be easy. "You don't happen to have a ladder with you by chance?" Callie asked hopeful, Arizona too realizing their predicament and panicking at the thought.

"It's twenty-four flights down, Dr T, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you'd be stuck between floors." John thought hard on a plan. "How about one of you hoists the other up and we'll both pull the last of you out?"

Arizona cringed, there was no way she could balance enough to trust herself with Callie's weight and she would not be able to crawl once she was through the threshold.

"Come here." Callie stood up and waited for Arizona to get to her feet.

"You know what? I'm good. I mean I already missed my flight so I'm good just waiting for the power to come back on." Arizona shrugged with disinterest. She was embarrassed enough with the thought of having to try and crawl in front of just Callie, never mind the maintenance man. Through the years, she had managed to master a few awkward things that came with having an above the knee stub. Crawling had been one of the first things she had learnt to do, but she knew that there was no way she would be able to, considering the pain that was radiating from the area right now. Nope she would just wait. Arizona sat back down with a slight plop and avoided eye contact with the two others.

"Really...So you're just going to sit there? You said you needed to pee?"

"Mmm hmm, I was kidding about needing the toilet. I was just trying to be funny?" Arizona crossed her arms in a sign of determination.

"Oh, okay then...funny! Haha. I guess if you are going to wait, I'll wait with you. It gets rather lonely in here by yourself." Callie sat down herself too. "So John, do you have anything to drink up there? I'm so thirsty..." Callie smirked when Arizona's eyes made contact with hers.

"Callie! Don't you dare."

"Aw Sweetie, you have been sitting there for hours are you sure you don't want to move, get a nice ice cold beverage. Some water maybe. I could run the tap for a while, get it _nice _and cold and _wet.._." John smirked, reaching down and tossing Callie the bottle of water that he had on him. He hadn't opened it yet, which was lucky for Callie, because the more she had to work with the more chance she could make Arizona uncomfortable. The downside was, even if she couldn't make Arizona move, she was going to have to leave her because _she _had to pee and couldn't wait much longer. "Would you like some?" Callie offered the bottle to her, making sure some water tipped out. "Oooooops!" Callie smirked as the sound of running water sounded five times louder in the small space.

"Callie, you're not funny!" Arizona pleaded with her ex like a petulant child. Callie knew that even Arizona was going to have a hard time holding on, yes both were good with bladder control in a surgery setting, but Callie wasn't playing fair. "You're getting water everywhere."

"Well, you better get up then?" Callie stood up, extending a hand for Arizona to take.

"Look, two options: you stay in here and end up peeing yourself in front of John ...a grown woman!" Callie overemphasized shaking her head like you would with a naughty child. "Or, you let me lift you up and then you help me out. Unless you just want to wait in the elevator by yourself...This tiny metal box, dangling twenty-three and a half floors up with only the flickering emergency lights to keep you sane." Callie smiled as Arizona begrudgingly gave her her hand.

"So how do you want to do this, because I won't...well my leg is too sore to put any pressure on it right now." Arizona shyly asked, she had been working on her issues with her residual limb with the therapist. She wasn't going to let it define her, she wasn't to be embarrassed by it. But with Callie, all her insecurities came rushing back, and she felt like she was needing to ask for help, like she was weak and she needed to be honest no matter how she felt. This was important.

"Oh, right. Well how about I just, you know!" Callie stood with her arms reaching up trying to mimic a lifting motion. "If I can lift you enough then John can get a good grip of your arms, a little pull and push for you and some pull for me, and we should be out of here." Callie stood looking up at the opening, both of them would definitely be able to slide through.

Arizona copied Callie's current pose. Looking up at the smiling man who was lying on the floor with his arms dangling in, she let a shaky breath out. Not that she was scared, but her and Callie were about to touch. Arizona tried to stop the inappropriate thoughts flushing her system, but the more she fought the thoughts, the more she felt the heat building. They had just spent the best part of three hours fighting with each other, hurting each other, yet the passion for the other woman never waned.

Callie moved over behind Arizona, she hesitated as she figured out where the best position to put her hands was. Arizona hid the flinch, when she felt Callie's touch, with a fake cough. Callie's body was in tight behind Arizona and she was trying everything not to melt, not to just push backward and grind. She almost lost it when she felt Callie's breath at her neck.

"Okay, are you ready?" Callie felt Arizona nod, and she had shut her eyes. Taking in the smell of Arizona's perfume, her hair, it was soothing. "On the count of three, bend your knees and I need you to jump I'll push you up." When she felt the hair brush against her face again, when Arizona nodded, she began. "One...two...three..."

"WAhh Nooo! Callie no, not working...not working!" Arizona panicked as she fell forward. Her hands flat on the wooden panels, trying to stop her falling completely until Callie could ease her down. "You're at the wrong side. I think...If you come around the front you'll be able to use your body to support my weight."

"Right, got you!" Callie nervously sucked in some air and slid herself between Arizona and the wall. Placing her hands on Arizona's waist, she again readied herself. She placed her back against the wall and set her stance. Looking at each other they counted down with just the movement of their heads. With ease Callie lifted Arizona this time, her body helping hold the weight as she made contact with John's outstretched hands. When he started to pull her up, he hesitated for what was a moment. To Callie though, it seemed like forever, as Arizona's crotch was right at face level. She bit her lip as she could almost taste that sweetness that she had longed to have again. As Arizona was pulled from view, Callie rested her head against the elevator wall trying to compose herself.

Two pairs of arms finally appeared from the opening along with a holler of her name, bringing her to face about. Callie looked up and accepted them. Her feet pushing against the frame trying to help the climb out. Finally free, she rolled onto her back and looked up to the ceiling, she started to laugh.

"Is this the bit in the movie when the elevator goes crashing to the ground?" Callie looked over to Arizona who was smiling back at her goofiness.

"Come on, let's get back to the apartment and get a cold drink and a potty break."

"Oh my God, you don't still say that do you?" Callie playfully laughed as Arizona squinted.

"I _still _work with children, Callie!" Was her reply as she stuck her tongue out. Both women's shoulders had lost a few _metaphorical elephants, _they both felt lighter on the walk back to the apartment leaving John to do his job, and them to finish theirs.


	11. Cuz Whe A Bunny Bee

**AN: **This is a competition of sorts for you guys. Name EVERY song of the scene-cap titles AND main chapter title and you'll get your own cameo in this story. Unless you have a really screwed up mind like one of us that went crazy with this chapter when it came to scene names, we'll go with the person with the closest number right first if you can't figure them all out. Be sure to leave us a way to contact you OR your name or we'll never be able to fulfill our end of the bargain. Google WILL NOT help. Just something fun to keep you on your toes and amuse us in the process. (Sorry, being an anonymous type site, a cameo is the best we can do, it's lame but it's fun) **Sadie is refusing any knowledge of what these songs are, _she_ knows though she just won't admit the awesomeness she used to cry listening to one of them.**

Oh, and this chapter? SO not work safe. I'm serious, it's a good read for being closed off by yourself but not in a room of people. I wouldn't recommend at work so don't say we didn't warn you. And we really suggest that you don't read this during a meeting, that will not go over well either. Imagine having to read whatever it is you are reading aloud to the "entire class."

Our EVER GROWING section of thank-yous. Our family of support and encouragement grows by the chapters because you guys are the best bunch of people we could ever want in our lives. Thank you to Shinata-Riyoko, this was a bitch to beta- WE KNOW and we're ultimately so very sorry. It was over 10,000 words. You have permission to murder us if we do this to you again. To SportsFan: You will never know how ETERNALLY grateful we are to you for all of your help and insight and encouragement. Trace: thank you so much for your input and taking family time to help us out. To Zoe for being our Queen Bee. To Gene for having to give up her cameo because she knows exactly where the songs came from and she's not allowed to guess. To My Mom and Dad for always supporting me. This award is for them too. Actually it's for us all, we couldn't have done any of this without you. (I might have consumed a little too much sugar at lunch.)

On that note: This is Sadie and Nic signing off. Goodnight and Good luck!

* * *

**Chapter 11: Cuz when a bunny bee sees our enemies he reports to the Queen of the bunny bees and she sends out the bee bee bees to zing zing zing 'em. Then the enemies flee from the bees bees bees and Queen is pleased with the victories and she decrees the bunny bees should sing: Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz. Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz!**

**You Taste Like Glitter Mixed With Rock and Roll**

Arizona's exit was the most heat either of them had felt in years and neither had played the martyr card, refraining from intimate relations while pining over their lost love. So here they were, sitting on the couch, barely inches apart, trying to figure out where to go next. Arizona looked intently at the note Cristina left on the coffee table telling them she'd taken Sofia to Barbara's and they'd be back later.

"I hate to ask, but I really don't want to leave until Sofia gets back so that I can say goodbye and it was hot as hell in that elevator, so would you mind if I freshened up a bit?" Arizona asked timidly.

"What?" Callie asked as innocently as possible being pulled from thoughts that were actually _far_ from innocent at the moment. She was currently undressing Arizona with her mind and was interrupted _just _before she had Arizona's bra in a pile with the other clothes on the far corner of the floor. Blushing as those thoughts still assaulted her brain, Arizona repeated herself giving Callie a confused look. "Yeah, sure. You can use my bathroom for that. Cristina's stuff is all over the guest bathroom as you've already witnessed." Standing up, she reached out a hand as she watched a grimace of pain cross Arizona's features as she helped her up. Without another word they made their way through the bedroom, toward the bathroom, neither letting go of the light touching of hands. Callie noticed that Arizona's limp was more noticeable; hours stuck sitting on the floor had taken its toll. Callie knew that the shower was most likely to help ease the burn. The heat in the elevator would have caused swelling and therefore, the chaffing of her prosthetic. She had already protested to her offer to help, so this was the next best thing she could do for her.

Halfway to the bathroom, Arizona came to a halt and started laughing uncontrollably. "Calliope Torres has pink bed sheets? Are you kidding me? Do you really have pink sheets?" She stared at the unmade bed of bright, almost tie dye, pink.

"No!" Callie protested, but there was really no use when they were _right_ there. "Well, yes. But Sofia did the laundry and they _used_ to be white. Dry clean only AND the separating of darks and lights went right over her head. One of my red dresses and the bed sheets got the worst of it. Sofia can now fit the dress and pink tie dye is the new black?" Callie joked.

"You have pink sheets, who would have thought that would ever happen?" Arizona laughed, still focused on the idea that her ex-wife had pink bed sheets.

"You're paying an awful lot of attention to them, Arizona Robbins. Interested in intimately getting to know those sheets? I can leave you alone..." Callie choked on her tongue at the look Arizona was giving her. It was a joke. She meant it as Arizona and the sheets, but the smoldering look in Arizona's eyes caught her off guard.

"No. Don't go..." She whispered looking up at Callie, wrapping her hand around her forearm in an attempt to keep her from leaving.

Did Arizona further her reach in for her, did she reach for Arizona? That would forever remain a mystery. And one neither would quest to solve, because it didn't matter. All that mattered was how fast they discarded their clothes, jumping into bed, taking no time in simple pleasures. What was important here was completely bare, heated skin against the same. Wetness sliding between bodies in quick arousal. Fingers kneading deep into naked flesh. And those lips, neither ever wanted to forget the perfection made when mouths met, only meant for the other to taste.

Having moved to the bed, Callie traced her hands down Arizona's back, cupping her ass, before moving down muscular thighs. This was better than any dream. Being in Arizona's arms was intoxicating; there was no better high in life.

But the tension grew so thick, a bone-saw was needed to cut through it, as Arizona pushed Callie off of her, scooting back from the other woman. Callie looked wounded.

"What, what were you doing?" Arizona stuttered.

"Touching you?" Callie answered in question, looking completely confused.

"Touching me where?"

Callie didn't understand and only looked at Arizona with that confusion. There were reasons Callie didn't understand and that only seemed to anger Arizona even more.

"Damn it, Callie, where were your hands?" Arizona growled.

"On your …" The passion sizzled out leaving Callie empty all over again.

"Legs." Arizona barked, not letting Callie finish.

"So?" Callie couldn't help but wonder why it was any deal at all, big or small.

"So there are parts of me that are off limits!"

And that sobered Callie up. "Really Arizona?" She shook her head. "Over five years later and I _still _can't have all of you? God, I'm so stupid!"

"Has your sex with _complete _people made you forget there's not all of me to have?" Arizona snapped.

"That's not fair! You… you can't use them against me. We are divorced. That's a low blow and it's not fair."

Realizing she was picking an irrelevant fight, Arizona changed tactics to the truth of the matter. "What's not fair is you touching me where I don't want to be touched!"

Callie shook her head, taking a calming breath she counted to ten. "I don't see you as Arizona Robbins, one leg. I never did. In bed. Out of bed, you are just you, perfect the way you are." Callie hated that they were back here, again.

"I was perfect until …" Arizona slapped her hand over her mouth. No! Those words were not going to leave her lips. NO!

"Until I cut off your leg." Callie finished for her in a whisper before her anger came spiralling forth. "Did I cut out your heart with it, Arizona? Is that what happened? According to you, before I was there out obligation so please, tell me my excuse this time. I'm dying to know what it is I'm thinking."

Arizona said nothing, ashamed this was the path she had chosen to clear the air.

"Other people can touch you, have you, but me. I know you haven't been celibate over the years, hell, your wandering hands are why we're _here _in the first place, so what is it about me?" Callie was on a roll.

"I love you. I always did and always will, but I can't go back to this unhealthy place. I don't even think it's about you being enough of a person with your lack of leg, this is about me not being enough for you. I never was. I was a nice interim for you. I was good for your ego, taming the hospital whore. I can't do this, I want all of you, missing limbs and all, because that's what makes you whole." Arizona's insecurities pushed Callie's right to the surface, exploding in a frenzy of fear and misunderstandings. "I'm such an idiot. Always did push you. Did you ever love me? Because the first chance you got, you threw me aside. I wasn't easy to love, I get that, but neither… neither were you. But I never stopped. This is my fault. I pushed and pushed and pushed you away. But I didn't know what to do. You couldn't look at me without seeing the woman that cut off your leg and ruined your life. I tried. I can't do this. I can't go back to feeling this way." Callie was crying, she'd moved away from Arizona's naked body, still able to feel the heat even with the distance between them. She just wanted to disappear; she didn't want Arizona to see her this way, to know she still had the ability to cut Callie off at the knees. Panic and anxiety filled Callie until she was sucking in deep breaths of air, trying to breathe; her knees pulled tight up into her chest as she sobbed.

"Then or now?" Arizona finally found the courage to speak.

"What?" Callie looked behind her, the desperation in those three words bringing her out of her manic attack.

"Then or now? What is it about you then or now that makes this so hard? Which answer do you want?" Arizona felt helpless watching Callie fall apart, knowing she was the reason behind it, again. But she wasn't going to lose her. She couldn't and that meant being honest. Talking. Communicating. Being vulnerable.

Callie said nothing. She wasn't sure she wanted answers, because how much lower could she possibly fall? Wasn't putting herself here, back in this situation, opening herself up to the one person born with the ability to completely destroy her, letting that person once again call the shots with never her interest at heart, wasn't that rock bottom already?

"Six years ago, all I could see was the woman that cut off my leg. I was afraid to let her love me, let you love me because if you couldn't, you not only took my leg, but my heart too. So I pushed you away. I didn't want to risk it. Boswell was… it doesn't matter any longer because she did the job for me."

Callie sobbed harder at the mention of her name. Both of their hearts just shattering.

"Cheating on you, Callie was the biggest mistake of my life and I couldn't admit it because I was too proud. I am so sorry. I broke both of our hearts and I never ever meant to hurt you." Arizona eased herself slightly closer to Callie, wanting nothing more than to take her in her arms and make the pain stop, but they had to finish this or they'd never stop hurting each other. She couldn't go back to the silence between them, if anything, they were going to walk away from this as friends. If she couldn't have her wife back, she was going to have her friend back.

"But you did. You destroyed me." Callie admitted. She never let Arizona know just how bad it was, because Callie wasn't ever going to let Arizona in again; never let her have any ability to hurt her again. So Callie held her head up high, she refused counselling because that would only reopen the door to her heart, and she sealed that shit shut. With industrial strength construction worker's glue.

The words echoed in the room. "I know." Arizona whispered.

"I can't go back to that place, Arizona. I can't worry that you're always looking elsewhere for something better, someone not me, someone that didn't cut off your leg."

"I won't. I wouldn't." Arizona argued.

"But you won't even let me touch you!" Callie screamed, her fuse blowing.

"Because I'm afraid." Arizona screamed back admitting her own vulnerability.

Silence followed as both women calmed down, screaming and yelling wasn't going to get them anywhere right now, again.

"I don't care about the leg." Callie was telling the truth. It was just another part of the woman she loved.

"But I do." Arizona moved to sit on the edge of the bed, inches apart from Callie. "I do, because I'm terrified that you… that it will remind you of who I was and what I did." Arizona looked up, catching the confusion in Callie's eyes.

"What?"

"My leg got us here. Not the leg, but it's a damn obvious reminder. It brought out the worst in us. It's a physical wound of that. And I need you to trust me and that…" Arizona motioned down to her residual limb and, although her anger and disgust at it had vanished years ago, it's meaning in the here and now still brought pain along with it. "That just screams, my wife cheated on me. You can't get away from it, Callie."

"Wounds heal." Callie whispered. Lord, she knew how hard it was for them to heal, but they did and she knew the leg was just an analogy for them anyway.

"And they leave awful scars, blatant reminders behind."

"Those scars can make you stronger, Arizona." There was a confidence in Callie's voice that'd been lacking for far too long. "I forgive you." She looked deep into Arizona's eyes willing the other woman to believe her words.

Broken and defeated, Arizona closed her eyes succumbing to her own tears. "But you left me."

"Yeah, I did, because you walked away first, and I was tired of chasing you. I came out here, I healed myself, and I forgave you." As the words came out, she realized after all this time denying it, she really had forgiven Arizona. It was just that seeing her again brought all those bitter feelings to the surface, but they were irrelevant because in the end, at the end of the day, she had no reason any longer to do anything but forgive her ex-wife. She didn't know any different, it's the way she was raised. "Your leg, it's just who you are. The only reminder I see when I look at it, is that life is fragile, and everything you love can be taken from you in the blink of an eye, so laugh too hard, cry, dance, live and love. Love with everything you have in you, because you can't take things for granted. I forgave you, but can you say the same of me?" Callie asked honestly. While she could move on from Arizona's decisions, the drastic changes it brought about in her life, Arizona could never escape, not a single moment in her day, the decisions Callie had to make. Was forgiveness even an option for her?

Arizona nodded, her tears falling too hard to form words.

"Really? Because all this, our divorce, your disability, it was my call. I knew cutting off your leg was probably goodbye, but I took a chance anyway."

"If you had to do it all over again, would you, knowing we'd end up like this?" Arizona needed to know.

"Yes." Callie didn't have to think twice.

"Why?"

"Because I loved you too much to let you die. You deserved a chance to live, even without me." Daring the gods or Arizona or herself, Callie didn't know, but she placed a gentle hand on Arizona's upper leg.

Arizona looked down; the sincerity of the touch didn't go unnoticed. Looking up, she placed her own hand over Callie's. "I don't like living without you." She admitted.

"Do you love me?" _Did you stop?_

Arizona nodded, if only Callie knew just how much. Callie risked Arizona's love to save her life and Arizona risked losing Callie forever to save hers. Double. Edged. Sword.

Callie hated being vulnerable. She hated being weak. She hated that Arizona brought out both of those in her, and what she hated most of all was the doubts making themselves known deep inside. "I don't know what to do or where to go from here, Arizona. We are so bad for each other." It's not that she didn't want this, but that she was terrified of this.

Arizona squeezed Callie's hand, still on her leg. "Then let's work on being good for each other."

"How?" Callie wiped at her tears. "I just don't see how…"

Arizona looked at her saying nothing. It all fell into place. They were done talking and it was time to put their words into actions. They both needed more, needed proof, needed hope. Taking Callie's hand, she laid her back down on the bed, covering her body with her own. Reaching for Callie's hand, she reached behind, placing it on her upper thigh. Callie's hand shook. Pressing down, her heated center coming into contact with Callie's, nails dug deep into her thigh as Callie's body arched under the pleasurable contact.

Callie didn't know of anything else that existed outside of them. Wounds healed over time, they slowly turned to scar tissue. Hardening, thickening of the once open, exposed, raw, vulnerability. Sometimes the poison of the infection trapping inside, spreading recklessly throughout the host, but more often, the only lasting memory, the only remaining reminder is the scar. But while the damage is done, we don't have to hold onto it. We can beat the beast. They beat the beast. Poison, that for so long coursed through their bodies, was no longer in control. It was no longer even there, any evidence of it.

Slowly connecting, words no longer needed. They'd said all that needed to be spoken now, heard the truth of words so long in the lacking, tore down walls built of more than mortar but secured with titanium, and most importantly, the longest in the making, they opened themselves up to love and to be loved. By each other. Fully. Completely. Uninhibitedly. Unhindered.

Arizona felt a heel massaging the muscle of her calf, spurring her on. Callie's hands roamed tacky skin, unable to settle in one place. Pulling at her shoulders, a desperate grip, brown eyes boring into her own, and void of pain, but instead filled with a love Arizona never let herself dream of being on the receiving end of again.

Lowering herself flush against Callie, they moved in tandem with each other. Wet, slick heat riding against the same arousal. Their connection, one of a whole entity, completing the missing pieces of the other.

This wasn't a dream. It hurt too good to be a dream. And as Arizona rode harder, their swollen extended clits bringing each other to the brink, tears found their way down Callie's cheeks. Arizona's mingling with them.

Speed wasn't a factor, release not their goal. They were simply two people reconnecting, their act one of pure love for the other.

Callie broke first, sobs escaping with her heart's release of bitterness and pain. Her peaking seeking a deeper connection, a stronger bond. A scar to seal everything else behind. Gripping tightly to the muscular thighs above her, she used her hips, urging Arizona's completion with her own body, safely bringing her into the place of no return.

When they could handle no more, they remained in each other's arms, fingertips tracing patterns on heated flesh, hearts racing against the others. The silence, once full of uncertainty, vulnerability, and fear, was now filled with trust and immeasurable love.

Rolling Arizona to the side, sleepy blue eyes looked up at Callie with unspoken questioning. Before she could voice her thoughts, Callie's mouth began placing warm kisses all over Arizona's body. Behind Arizona's ear, nipping gently at the flesh evoking strangled moans, much louder than before. That was about making love, this was about _showing _love. Capturing a deep pink, pebbled nipple between her lips, Callie gently bit down, strangled moans turning into throaty releases of arousal and pleasure. She was in control here, Arizona helpless in her hands. But helpless didn't come with the hopelessness it had for so long; it was about trust. Giving and receiving.

Clenching and unclenching her fists, Arizona's strangled moans of anticipation grew as Callie descended down her body. Her legs shook dramatically with built up arousal as Callie's attention returned back to Arizona's chest, sucking first one pert nipple into her mouth into her mouth, and then the other, switching back and forth, unable to decide which one to give her full attention. Callie's fingers traced swirling patterns down Arizona's stomach, stopping only to momentarily cup Arizona's heated wetness, her hips jerking off the bed at the touch before continuing her voyage down, cupping Arizona's ass.

Kneeling now before Arizona's spread legs, Callie held her as if she were a chalice ready to be sipped like the finest of wines. Biting down one last time, sucking hard on the nipple, Arizona's hands tangled in Callie's hair pushing her to further her trek below. Short heated kisses upon her skin turned into a wet trail, Callie's tongue homing in on its beacon. Spreading out onto her stomach, Callie lifted Arizona from below, slowly trailing her tongue from top to bottom and back up, three times, with just the lightest of pressure. With Arizona's unadulterated moans urging her on, Callie settled comfortably between spread legs, but it wasn't enough. Scooting forward even more, Callie shifted, using her upper body to wedge herself firmly under Arizona's legs, tossing them over her shoulders in the process. Within seconds of Arizona's thighs hitting her head, Callie dove in, gripping tight to flexing muscles as she feasted. Trembling thighs, Arizona's throaty moans, the slightest pulling of Callie's hair was a table set for a queen, and Callie's tongue plunged deep into Arizona's wet depths, satisfied as the moans gave way to broken pleas, begging Callie for more.

Looking up, Callie couldn't help but smirk, her reaction to the sight above was to pull Arizona's clit deep into her mouth, sucking and nibbling, flicking rhythmically at the throbbing nerve. Keeping her eyes on Arizona's own reactions, she watched her uninhibitedly pulling at her own nipples, pinching and rolling them between her fingers. It was a moment of victory for Callie; Arizona was a goner. Years ago, almost another lifetime for the pair, the first time Callie witnessed Arizona so lost in the throes of passion that she played with herself while Callie pleasured her, it had become a defining moment for them. They'd been together for months and Arizona had never dared such a thing, it was _hot_. Later when Callie questioned her, she admitted with slight embarrassment that only when she was truly comfortable with her partner, with no fear of judgement did she full let herself go like that. Letting herself go meant being completely, uninhibitedly enjoying every aspect of intimacy and giving that to her lover.

As Arizona's head thrashed, her eyes squeezed shut, silent gasping screams now replacing any and all sounds, Callie realized how close her lover was to falling. Unable to look away from the scene before her, captivated by Arizona's raw need, Callie continued her attention of Arizona's clit, working two fingers deep inside. Within moments, Arizona was already squeezing tight, her hips rising in a desperate attempt to deepen Callie's touch.

"Oh Callie. Callie. Callie." Arizona cried out as her entire body tensed, vibrating in trembles, before shaking uncontrollably as the waves rolled over. She was pulling at her nipples, strangled cries erupting from her open mouth, tears rolling down the sides of her face, her hips frozen inches off the bed before collapsing completely melting into the mattress. Chills cooling the fire of her flesh as she could only moan.

**I Know What You Mean, I Felt The Same Way Too; I Wanna Get Back Home Again, Just As Much As You**

Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months could have come and gone, but Arizona lost all concept of time, waiting for feeling to return to her limbs, her heart to stop racing, her brain to return from it's now putty state.

Finally feeling weight upon her thighs, Arizona opened her eyes to see Callie with the biggest, smug grin pasted on her face staring back at her. She was propped up just slightly, lying with her arms spread over Arizona's thighs, her clasped hands elevating her chin and head above her body.

"What?"

"Nothing." Callie just couldn't contain her smile; satisfaction emanated from every pore.

Blushing, Arizona bit her bottom lip trying to find the right words, but fell short. Callie watched the change in her eyes; there was confusion, with a bit of sadness, fighting with the distinct look of contentment.

"You don't, we don't have to talk about this." Callie cleared her throat, fighting back down her own inner demons as she spoke the words that held no truth behind them.

Arizona shook her head, tears now welling in her eyes. "Isn't that our biggest problem?"

_I thought it was that you slept around on me._ The retort died on her tongue as she looked up. It was the past, and the only reason bitterness now held any hold on her was because they'd dredged up the past and Callie once again had to grieve. Or for the first time, grieve. She'd never given herself that chance and now, after what they'd just shared, her reminder of her loss, Callie was at a loss on how to rein it all back in.

"Come here." Arizona reached down, gently pulling Callie.

Letting herself be pulled into Arizona's arms, tears fell against her will as she curled into a ball. Vulnerability didn't bring shame with it, for either of them. It was a time for both of them to completely drop false pretenses with themselves, with each other, with the rest of the world and embrace what made them both strong and weak.

Callie cried hard, shedding the pain of the past and giving freedom to them both. It was a moment to celebrate how far they'd come, but they first needed to know where they were going.

"What next?" Timidly, Arizona journeyed down the path of no return.

"I live in Pennsylvania." Callie whispered.

"And I live in Washington." Arizona shrugged knowing that wasn't a big deal at all because ...

"You don't do long distance relationships." Callie sniffed.

Arizona chuckled lightly, shifting until they were eye to eye. "I already have one with my daughter." She said easily.

Callie closed her eyes, tears falling again with the guilt that statement brought.

"Hey. Hey. That wasn't a cut at you. I'm just pointing out that I too have grown. That idea is not off the table, okay. If you'd let me ..." She explained before getting cut off.

Cautiously, Callie opened her eyes, "Do we have to decide now?" She asked before Arizona could finish. They still had a lot to discuss, to think about separately too.

"No, not now." Arizona wrapped her lover further into her arms as they settled silently into each other into the bed. "We'll talk about that later, but we have things to really talk about later, okay?" She kissed Callie's forehead as they drifted off to sleep.

**How I Wish That We Could Fly Away, Oh Ramie**

They must have slept for a couple of hours as Arizona turned over and realized the power to the building was back on again. The blinking light from the alarm clock next to Callie's bed read that it was 2:09 a.m. although she _knew_ that wasn't the case, but that did mean they had at least two hours and ten minutes of sleep at the very least. Two hours and ten wonderful minutes of sleep.

Briefly looking to her side, she saw Callie still sound asleep in what Arizona always felt was the most uncomfortable position, her head falling off of the pillow, mouth wide open, her back firmly against the mattress, but her hips edging slightly onto her side. The woman had slept that way for years and it always made Arizona's bones hurt just looking at her. But aside from the hurt in her bones, her heart too felt serious pain. It was a feeling she'd lacked understanding for so long. Arizona Robbins' heart was full. The brokenness that had plagued her was now well on it's way to mending, compliments of one Callie Torres. And what hurt her heart the most, was that over five years ago, had she just stepped out of her pity-party for a few minutes and accepted Callie's numerous attempts, that maybe they would have survived the storm that night. Maybe they would have had a chance regardless of every storm that they had found themselves in the middle of since the plane crashed in the woods and Arizona returned barely a memory of herself. She had never given Callie the chance to fix her; at least not the parts of her that mattered most in the end. Arizona had laid down unrealistic demands that never had any chance of being met. She fought back ten times harder than Callie pushed and Callie had pushed with all she had in her. And once Arizona had lost control, because in her reality, the end was the culmination of a year without it, something that she felt was the only thing that made her who she was, she grasped at every opportunity to take it back. She had thought her Achilles heel had destroyed her, because for certain it had been her downfall. And a far fall that was too. But she just got back up. Maybe it took some time, too much time, but Arizona got back up.

And here she was, lying again with the one woman that would forever hold her heart. Arizona was so full, she was overflowing. And so scared she was panicking inside and they'd yet even tackled what was interrupted in the elevator. She'd yet to come fully clean, but she would after the panic died down. Except she wasn't going to succumb to that; right now she was going to go grab a shower before their daughter happened to return and catch them. Not that either had anything to hide; this wasn't a mistake or regret, but it also wasn't something to bring up to their child before they even discussed what it all meant between them. And even once it had been sorted out, there was no way in hell Sofia was going to get hurt because of them, so that meant they had to have more than just a plan of action; they had to be ready to commit to a future. Okay, Arizona _was _ready to commit to a solid future with Callie, again. She'd faced her fears and triumphed and Callie was the reward. In her opinion. But they needed to talk and sort things out. They lived on separate coasts with separate lives. They had a lot to go through because somebody was going to have to give up more than the other, and as their past is witness of, that wasn't always easy; sometimes for them, it's a deal breaker. Giving up here, regardless of it even being an offer, a solid want, was going to cause strife. She wasn't certain how it was going to be viewed, a plea, a manipulation, a very real plan of action? But she was ready to tackle that and ready for the outcome.

Arizona thought for another few minutes, staring intensely at the sleeping form next to her. Maybe it wouldn't be such a deal breaker for her, but what might be for Callie, was having to ask Arizona to come home. It came down to that, Callie needed to need her to come home. Because home for her was not an address registered in her name, not where she made her bed or her mail went; home for Arizona Robbins was where her family was, which is why for five years now, her heart had just been barely afloat, drifting out at sea. Cheesy. She was getting cheesy and she loved that Callie could bring out that side of her. She leaned down and placed a light kiss on Callie's chin before scooting out and heading for the shower.

**Run, Run, Run, Otis Lee**

Callie opened her eyes once she heard the shower for a full five minutes. She knew Arizona never took short showers, especially since the accident, which required a lot more time _in _the shower, so that gave her plenty of time. Plenty of time to get changed, make herself look like she didn't just have sex, and to sneak the fuck out of her own house. Juvenile, she knew, chicken, pathetic, but she just couldn't face Arizona right now. Not when her mind was going crazy and not a single thought would settle enough for her to figure things out. She never was good at sorting her own head by herself; that was Mark's job. From torturing her ex-husband with the most ridiculous hospital jobs, to picking her up when Erica fled to putting her back together when Arizona bailed, Mark was Callie's right hand man. Years later, Toby had filled that vacant spot she was certain she was never going to fill again. And god did she need Toby right now. At least Arizona didn't need to worry about them fucking, which was always Callie's fall back when things went south. She fucked to get people out of her head, she fucked to let them back; oh god, she just fucked Arizona. What did she do? Throwing on the last of her clothes, she quickly pulled her hair back into a ponytail and ran for the door.

"Well well well, lookie who just screwed her ex-wife." Toby answered the door with a knowing smirk.

"What?" Callie scoffed.

"You didn't even wash your face." He gasped, and then laughed when she covered her mouth in horror. "Go clean up, I'll get the coffee." He sung as he sidestepped to let her by and jumped back further when she went to hug him. "Oh hell no honey, wash your damn hands too. I know EXACTLY where they've been." He laughed as she stormed off.

Watching the sheepish woman slink back into the room and dump her sullen frame on the sofa across from where he was sitting, Toby perked up and scooted forward to the edge of seat, looking excitedly at her, as he waited for the gossip. When nothing came forth willingly, Toby huffed. "Callie, come on, you obviously came over here in the middle of the morning to talk to me, so talk or I'm leaving your ass there and going back to my comfortable bed." He waited another couple of minutes, looking at the dumbstruck woman, before he overemphasised getting to his feet.

"Middle of the morning? It's past dinnertime!" Callie looked at him as if he had two heads.

"Middle of _my _morning, okay? I've only been up for a matter of hours therefore it's still morning in my book. Now are you going to talk to me or continue to deflect and I'm going to go back to bed?" He started to get up knowing he only had to act the part, not _be _the part.

"Wait...please!" Callie finally moved, picking up the coffee he had placed on the table before her. Taking a sip, she almost spat it back out as she wasn't expecting the taste. "What the hell is in that shit?" Callie wiped the cream from her top lip.

"Oh it's an Irish Coffee! Its lovely." Toby took a drink of his and quickly shook his head and sucked his lip in. "Hmmm okay, might have put a little too much whisky in it, but I thought we deserved the extra shot. We're celebrating, aren't we? So keep drinking, you'll soon not be able to taste it." Toby took another drink of the liquid, which resulted with the same reaction as the first taste. "So?" Slurping another gulp of the hot liquid before putting it in front of him, he crossed his legs. "So you slept with _The Ex _did you? Come on, spill all the naughty details, I have to live vicariously through your sex life as mine is completely lacking, so come on Callie, tell me don't make me beg." Toby's big blue eyes pleading with the woman to give him something.

"Oh God Toby! What have I gone and done? This is so messed up." All Toby could see was wide eyes, coloured with panic, as she held her trembling hand over her mouth.

"I was expecting it, to be honest Callie. I knew you would. You were always drawn to her. You have a habit of doing things in the spur of the moment. Normally it's something that will come hurtling from your mouth...but this, you sleeping with Arizona, is not a shock to me. What's a shock is your reaction. Was it angry 'break your va-jay-jay' sex?" Toby bit his lip, trying to keep his laughter in. Callie's eyes shot even wider, he didn't think possible, but they did..._bunny in the headlights._

"NO! God, why do I even talk to you?"

"Because you love me. Now stop delaying and spill, what's got you so wound up? It can't be just that you slept with her. Was it bad? After all this time, you realized she was bad in the sack, but love was blinding you so you didn't see it before? Oh my, does she have some new kinks that you didn't know about? Did she want you to dangle from the ceiling while she spanked you?" He smirked, rolling out into full laughter as the horror on her face became overwhelming.

"Oh My God. What is your problem? Did your mother drop you on your fucking head one too many times? The sex was fine. It was good." She shook her head and smiled thinking about it. "It was the best sex I've ever had, but it's always been that way with her. But that's not the point. I don't know Toby. It's everything. We got stuck in the damn elevator together, just us. And we fought like crazy. I said some things that have been annoying me for years, we got out some stuff that we needed too. The elevator was stuck between floors, and she wouldn't get up off the floor, and so I was joking with her, and we just, I don't know it just felt like us, old us. And it was easy. I told her to get up and when she refused, I told her she didn't want John seeing her pee the floor." Callie had gone into a full Spanish ramble until she stopped in horror when her own words soaked into her brain.

"Callie? What's wrong?" Toby looked confused as she looked mortified.

"Oh fuck, it was a joke! I can't believe I was so stupid. She never said. How could I be so insensitive? Toby, what have I done?" Callie looked as though she was going to burst into tears again.

"Well if you tell me what it is that has you nearly hyperventilating, then I can give it my best girlfriend speech." Toby smiled as he tried to find out what had Callie completely gravitate from her story.

"Back at the beginning, after the crash. She had tried to make it to the toilet by herself, and when I found her, she was sitting on the floor. She hadn't made it in time and it all came back to me doing that to her. I cut off her leg. And now I'm an insensitive jerk because I just teased her about peeing the god damn floor!" Callie began to hit her clenched fist against her forehead in frustration.

"Callie stop!" Toby grabbed Callie's hands and stopped her, looking straight into her eyes. "Did Arizona say anything about your less than stellar moment?"

"No." She shook her head.

"But she had no problem telling you every other thing you'd done wrong while you two were in the elevator, right?" He pointed out the obvious.

"She was pretty clear on her feelings."

"Callie, take a deep breath. Think about it. Maybe, just maybe, she's over it? Maybe she doesn't automatically assume everything that comes out of your mouth is with evil intent. Maybe she knows there was a joke in there, and maybe it was very distasteful on your behalf, but she knows there was no harm. She works with kids, I'm sure she's heard worse over the years. Stop beating yourself up over things you can't control. Now will you please get out of this pity-party bullshit and tell me the juicy-_moist_ gossip already?"

"You're a pain in my ass." Callie laughed at his sincerity.

"I want sex, now give it to me! Now."

Callie blushed, the memory of Arizona right in front of her face, burned into her retinas, was as fresh as if it had happened only moments ago. Watching the blush, Toby prodded further. "What? What? What's got you all hot and bothered? Did you fuck her against the elevator wall? Share! Share!"

"You are such a pervert. No I didn't fuck her in the elevator. For crying out loud, Toby, I was helping her lift up out of the elevator." She blushed even harder. "_TOBY HER GROIN WAS RIGHT IN MY FACE_! And yes, maybe I just wanted to fuck her right then and there. Lust clouded my judgement, but it felt so good being in her arms again. Everything just melted and, oh god, how I missed the feeling of her skin under my fingertips. Then she freaked because I touched her leg...Which believe me was a complete mood killer, except we talked. Like, genuinely talked, about fears and feelings and opened doors I thought were sealed shut. Arizona never shared anything before, maybe time has healed that part of her. Maybe time has healed that part of both of us." Callie took a break to take another drink of the strong coffee, she didn't like it much, but it was wet and her throat was drier than the Sahara Desert. "It wasn't angry or rushed. There was no 'va-jay-jay breaking' as you so eloquently put it. We made love, I was lost in the moment, lost in her touch. It felt right, we fit together perfectly. I never thought I would ever feel like that again." Callie wiped tears from her cheeks as she watched as Toby gave her a sympathetic smile, he knew that she never felt that with Tony.

"So you didn't fuck her in the elevator?" Toby looked on confused trying to add a little light to what he knew was going to be a heavy conversation.

"Yes, I mean no. I mean arghhh. Damn it. No, we weren't in the elevator. Pay attention. Your little head is clouding your ability to really listen to what I'm saying with your big head. We were _out _of the elevator. She wanted to go for a shower and was teasing me about my pink sheets, compliments of Sofia's hazardous washing habits. I made a dumbass comment about wanting to be left alone with them and things just progressed from there. We made love and it was great, and everything felt right and awesome and like nothing was ever wrong with us. And then, as I was...enjoying myself making her feel everything she had missed about me, when I was finished, all I could think that we just fucked everything up. I couldn't shake that feeling. We, we can't be doing this. We barely talked before and now let's add this hot pink elephant to the mix. Its just, I don't know...What am I doing? I can forget she cheated, I can. I've moved past that, but we, she lives in Seattle for fucks sake, and I live here, and we can't forget Sofia in this mess. And she doesn't even love me. We sure as hell don't trust each other. What did we just do? How can I look at her without her being able to read it all over my face? She's going to know. She's going to know that I am still in love with her, after everything, through everything, and then she's going to go home and my heart, what's left of it, is just going to disappear. She's going to go home and leave me again. I can't do that. I can't stand back and watch the rest of my world walk out of the door... but it's Arizona, you know? I can't ... I can't do this."

Toby got up from his position and joined the now sobbing woman, taking her in his arms, he sat silent for a few moments just letting Callie let out whatever it was that was terrifying her. When he felt her sobbing calm and he felt her breathing relax in his embrace, he kissed her forehead, before tipping her chin upwards so that she was looking into her eyes. He could see the battle she was fighting just beneath. Her love for Arizona versus that dark shadow of infidelity even if she didn't want to admit it. Her fear of letting Arizona in again. Her fear of asking anything of the woman that would ultimately break her. Callie was, in simple terms, afraid...

"Callie, I know you're scared. I know this frightens you. You knew that, in your heart, you will always love Arizona, and the fact that you have clearly stayed away from your ex up until now shows me that you couldn't trust yourself. I know you. You talk to me about everything, I know this isn't just about her leaving. What's really going on?"

"I'm scared to let her back into my life. I'm scared to ask her back into my life. I'm scared... we can't do this a country apart, but if I ask her to move here, and if she says no... I don't think I can handle that. And then there's the simple part, I knew the last time I let Arizona Robbins back in my life, that I was a hundred per cent certain she would break me. Arizona can destroy me, it's taken me how many years just to get back into some sort of relationship? I love Tony, but she never had all of my heart, I would never open myself up to that again. Arizona though, she has my heart no matter what. I didn't want to go, she made me go. I needed time to be angry with her, she took that away and replaced it with hate, and she broke my trust, Toby. She broke it. But here I am, wanting to trust her anyway. Am I a fool? I feel like a fool!"

Toby took her hands, kissing her knuckles, nibbling on the last one until he got a smile out of her. "That's my girl! I love your smile, you know that, right? It's one of the most beautiful things about you. Aside from your heart and your personality and your killer body for an old lady!"

"Hey!" She couldn't help but smile. "You're older than me."

"I aged with grace and beauty thank you very much. Callie-Sweetie, you gave her your body, and you already gave her your heart. They both go hand in hand for you where that woman is concerned. You now just have to trust _yourself_ that you are doing the right thing. When's the last time you trusted _Callie_?" He asked.

"Do you regret marrying Arizona Robbins?" He pushed harder when she started shutting down.

"No." She barely whispered.

"Even after she broke your heart?"

"No."

"I can't hear you. What'd you say?"

"No. I don't regret Arizona." She pushed herself to admit aloud.

"You two have a beautiful daughter together and, while a tumultuous past, one that has helped form you into my best friend. A woman I love very dearly, a mommy that Sofia loves more than the world, and hell, it's helped..." he finished off with a mumble.

"What?" She laughed hearing him even under his breath.

"It's made you the best ortho surgeon I've ever met." He repeated, feeling better, seeing the true glimmer of hope back in her eyes. "But I'm still better, just remember that. I'll deny ever saying it." He knew she just needed some reminding. Some time to get it off her chest. And some time to cool down. Toby was that friend, giving her what she needed, but then kicking her out and sending her on her way.

"Thank you so much." Callie held on tight as she cuddled him. She was starting to zone out, lost in the embrace until she caught the time on the clock above his mantle. "Fuck, I ran out. She was in the shower. Fuck. She's going to kill me. Fuck and shit."

"Get out of my house and go home. I was about to send you there anyway. Go." He stood up shooing her out the door. "Go! Thank me later with a hot stud-muffin to play house with." He laughed, picking up her mug and downing the _really _strong alcohol with a touch of coffee, but smiling at the burn. Just what he needed to start his day off from work. That and a good shower with thoughts of a stud-muffin to play house with. Feeling the twitch between his legs, he skipped to the shower.

**Then The Enemy Flees From The Bee Bee Bees ...**

Arizona stormed around Callie's bedroom throwing clothes, making the bed, and then unmaking it again in a show of anger and frustration. Over and over again she did this. To say she was pissed was an understatement. She was LIVID! How dare Callie do this to her. She fucking took off. Without so much as even a note. And she left Arizona there, in her own damn house, in the bedroom where they'd just made love, just found each other again. Except when she came out of the shower, Callie was gone. Her purse, her phone, everything. And to make matters worse, her clothes smelled like stale elevator air with a hint of arousal, and there was no way in hell she was putting them back on. But she wasn't going to put on Callie's clothes either. Sofia's weren't even in question and that left Cristina's luggage, but Arizona was too pissed to rummage through the less than neat suitcase for something she even wanted to wear. So that left her here, pacing, in her damn towel, waiting for Callie to return. _If _Callie even returned. And she better return, because she had things to say to her ex-wife. Lots of things. She had, no she _needed_, to explain things, but Callie bailed. Callie bailed this time, and for the first time, she knew exactly what it felt like to be on the receiving end. And it sucked. A lot. But as mad as she was, she was still going to say her piece. And make her peace. Callie wasn't getting away without hearing what Arizona had to say. And while she didn't know exactly what it was that she was going to say, she did know she was going to murder her ex-wife for making her feel this way. She was one hundred percent certain of that.

Hearing the door open, Arizona smirked. Dropping her towel, she was going to first show Callie what she had given up, remind her in _full disclosure _just what she'd _never _touch again.

"HOLY SHIT!" Cristina came through the bedroom door, her first instinct to cover her eyes, but instead her parenting survival instinct took over and she shoved Sofia out of the bedroom door before she could cross the threshold.

"My eyes. My eyes. Somebody get me some bleach." She moaned, body blocking the door as Arizona scrambled desperately to cover herself again.

"Oh. My. God. I thought you were Calliope." Arizona squeaked, completely mortified.

"I sure as hell hope that's not how you planned on greeting me. And never again. I think you scarred me for you ever get any sun? My retinas might have burned off from your full moon's glare." Cristina exaggeratingly wailed, waiting until Arizona had her towel securely wrapped around her before letting Sofia back in, who was fighting desperately behind her to enter the room and find out what all the growling and fuss was about.

"Oh gross, Mama!" She shook her head at her mom's lack of dress. "Where's Mommy?" Sofia huffed, crossing her arms.

"I don't know." Arizona looked down at her feet feeling immeasurable anger and shame.

"Why don't you have clothes on?" Sofia asked looking intently at her mother for answers. "_In Mommy's house?"_

"I uh, I was getting a shower." She was quick to answer.

Cristina chuckled. "Yeah, a shower my ass!"

"Cristina!"

"Hey, if it looks like a dinosaur and sounds like a dinosaur, I'm not going to call it a flipping donkey." She laughed as a pillow sailed through the air and out the door, past her head. "You throw like a girl."

"This is _not _the time, Cristina. Please." Arizona begged.

"Whatever. I'm just telling you that I'm not stupid." Cristina pointed out.

"Cristina!"

"Fine. Fine. Look, Little Doc here wants to talk to you guys. When's Callie getting back?" Cristina gently pushed her goddaughter toward her mother, feeling the young girl struggle back against her hand, as she hugged tight to her gruffy bear.

Sadness filled Arizona's face as she shrugged. "I don't know." She whispered.

"This really can't wait, I guess you can start without her." She pushed Sofia again toward Arizona, motioning for them both to the bed. "I should find somewhere else to be..."

Arizona looked up concerned, the look on Cristina's face worrisome. "I uh, I broke Callie's bottle of spa salt scrub in the shower. Could you?" She realized she might need Cristina's assistance in the near future as her daughter refused to come any closer than the far side of the bed, obviously upset with her.

"Yeah, sure." Cristina shrugged indifferently before disappearing.

Deafening silence filled the room at her departure until the shower started where Cristina was cleaning up her mess.

"Are you going to talk to me or do I have to read your mind?" Arizona teased hoping to get some footing on what was going on with her daughter.

"NO!" She crossed her arms, facing away from her mama. "I hate you." She choked on the words, making them as unbelievable to her mother as they were to her. She _wanted _to hate her moms, needed to, but it wasn't in her DNA to and that hurt just as much.

"Sofia, you don't mean that!" She didn't sound like she meant it, but it still hurt Arizona's heart more than anything she'd ever encountered in her entire life. Those three words were ones no parent ever wanted to hear. "I love you, so much."

"No you don't. You are a big fat liar."

"Sofia Robbin, if you have a problem with me, we are going to talk without calling each other names." She chastised. It didn't matter how upset they got at each other, Sofia knew better.

"You... you... you _kissed _someone else. You _kissed _her." Sofia emphasized kiss every time it came out of her mouth. It took Arizona no time at all to understand exactly what her daughter meant. _Cuz kissing means you love each other for ever and ever and ever._

Arizona sighed, shaking her head and holding back the tears threatening to spill. This is why Cristina came to the elevator; not because she was concerned that Callie's neighbors could hear them, but because _their _daughter _had _heard them. "Come here." She watched her daughter shake her head and pull further back. It broke her heart but she knew the whys of it all and she couldn't say she blamed her. Sofia needed Arizona to come after her this time even if only closing the gap of a few inches. Those inches represented a monster of hurt. Reaching for Sofia's arm, she pulled her squirming daughter in closer. "Baby, please listen to me." She begged.

"Why?" Big, fat tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why didn't you love us enough?"

"Oh Sofia, I have never, ever stopped loving you. YOU are my entire world." She squeezed her daughter as tight as she could. "You always have been and you always will be." What was she supposed to tell her daughter anyway? That she didn't think of her or her wife when she made the worst possible decision of her entire life? That it wasn't until after, that she realized she'd lost her entire family and for what? For nothing!

"You _kissed _somebody else, Mama. You _kissed _her." Sofia sobbed harder, curling into Arizona's embrace. "That's why _we _don't get our happy ever after cuz _you _kissed someone, Mama." Her world was leveled by one simple word. Kissed. For Sofia, any ounce of trust was eliminated because to her, kissing meant forever.

"Baby, sometimes we do bad things, but it doesn't make us bad people. Even when you play pranks on our dates and even when they're really, super mean. We always love you, even if you are wrong." Arizona tried to explain, but instead proceeded to make things worse as her daughter started sobbing even harder.

"I only wanted you and mommy to be my family. I only wanted the princess and maiden to be happy ever after."

"Oh Sofia!" Arizona pulled her in even closer. "Do you know what makes Mommy and me happy?" She waited a beat until Sofia shook her head. "You. You do. You are our entire world and we'd be so unhappy if you weren't here."

"But you hate each other. You hate Mommy. And Mommy hates you."

Callie tiptoed silently through the door, easing it shut with a soft click. Relieved to hear the shower, she pulled off her shoes, making her way to her bedroom. She was going to slip back into bed and Arizona would be none the wiser. Counting her blessings, she walked through her bedroom door and froze.

"We don't hate each other, Baby." Arizona looked up at the new arrival, pain in her eyes before they turned into a stone-cold glare. "Do we, Calliope? Or is your new name, David Copperfield, 'now you see her, now you don't'?" She growled. Forgetting her daughter's presence and easily slipping back into old times. "Dine and dash, that's your new thing? What'd you come back for, forget your manners on your way out when you walked out with my dignity in your pocket?"

"Um, hi?" Callie nervously bit her lip, fully scared of the look of disdain on her ex-wife's face, regardless of it being warranted or not, and the look of pure heartbreak on her daughter's face, for what, she had no idea.

**There's No One Here To Guide Us, But We Have The Strength Inside Us...**


	12. It's not a love, it's not a love

**A/N **Thank yous always go to Shinata-Riyoko, Sportsfan, & Trace. Your input always is appreciated and we thank you for always taking the time to help us out. To Zoe, dude, you're just awesome! :P

I apologise to anyone who saw the stupid childish nonsense that some immature person decided to waste time by spamming my review page hopefully that will now be sorted.

This will be the last update for over a week as we're taking a family vacation. See you next month! Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 12: It's Not A Love, It's Not A Love, It's Not A Love Song**

**Learn from the past ...**

Sofia looked between her parents and didn't believe a word that had been said. The angry look on her mama's face and the guilty one on her mommy's said it all. "You do. You hate Mommy cuz she cut off your leg." She cried. She'd heard enough, she didn't understand it all, but what she did grasp from things told past and present, was that her mommy cut off her mama's leg to save her life and that her mama kissed another woman because of it. That's all Sofia needed.

"Sofia, that all happened a long time ago..." She didn't get to finish, Sofia taking full control of the conversation.

"You hate being broken. I heard you, you hate it! All you ever do was lie to me! You lied to me all these times." She screamed, tearing herself from her mama's arms and throwing herself into her other mom's embrace. Callie moved quickly and quietly onto the bed where they were huddled together. She saw the look in her daughter's eyes and knew things were only going to escalate at an alarming rate.

"Sofia, Mama is talking to you and you need to show her respect and listen to what she has to say." Callie tried to remain diplomatic. She felt for her daughter, having been in the same place years before, but she also felt for Arizona, hearing the pain in their daughter's voice and being the cause of it, Callie knew, was breaking Arizona up. She wanted to embrace Sofia, to make the pain go away, but they had to stand a united front here and there'd be no playing one parent against the other.

"Sofia!" Arizona was at wits end and near tears. Moving closer to her daughter, she looked intently into her eyes, hoping Sofia could see how genuine she was being. "Mommy saved my life and for that I am eternally grateful because I get to watch _you _grow up. I get to be your mama every day of the year because I'm still alive." She tried explaining, running her hand up and down Sofia's back in a soothing manner as the young child sat square between both moms. She wasn't pulling away from her touch and Arizona took heart in that.

Scooting her daughter aside, Callie climbed into bed with them situating Sofia directly in the center, giving her little room to jump off and flee before hearing them out. Letting Arizona have the floor, Callie gave her a sympathetic look that wasn't met with the annoyance she'd expected. Instead, she returned the look with a slight nod before taking her daughter's hands in her own. "Baby..."

"You wanted to die so you weren't different." She sobbed, her parents not understanding where all of this was coming from.

"Sofia, when bad things happen, sometimes we get so sad that we don't see things very clearly." Callie tried to help, stepping up to show Arizona support. Every time Arizona opened her mouth to speak, Sofia went off on another emotionally charged tangent and maybe, in order to get her to listen, she needed to explain things. At least to the best of her ability and own understanding without alienating either of them.

"No. NO." She turned to face her mama, her face beet red, big fat tears streaming down her cheeks. "You tell me being different is special and you love me so much cuz I'm so special. But you hate being different. Do you hate me cuz I am? Do you wish you never saved me cuz if I died I wouldn't be different. I ... I wish I had died!" She shot forward, trying to make a run for the door after saying her piece except Arizona was even faster, jumping up after her, grabbing her daughter by the waist and spinning them both back around and onto the bed.

"Hold it right there, Young Lady." Arizona plopped her further up on the bed, against the headboard. "You don't get to say those things and run off without hearing me out." She blinked several times to clear the lingering tears.

"I heard you. I know. I know." She started yelling, slamming her tiny fists onto her thighs in a loss of temper.

Callie sighed, leaning back further onto the headboard herself. She finally understood what this entire outbreak was about and it broke her heart. Their daughter was eavesdropping on their elevator meltdown. For fucks sake, any other time she refused to wear her hearing aid at home, but today of all days she chose to do so.

**... Set vivid detailed goals for the future ...**

Reaching out, she wrapped her hand around Arizona's forearm, tugging her gently onto the center of the bed. One of them next to Sofia, one of them in front of her. It was at that moment, a head popped into bedroom. "I'd like to join my family." Barbara wiped at the falling tears. She'd heard enough and all three of them needed an ally in this screwed up situation. Sitting on the couch, waiting for Cristina and Sofia, Callie missed her when she snuck through the door and into the bedroom. Arizona too, didn't know of her presence in the apartment.

Both women nodded in agreement, realizing they needed all the help they could get and, as they were all emotionally charged and invested in this, maybe a clear fourth party could help keep them calm.

Settling in next to her granddaughter, the women waited while Sofia caught her breath.

"Arizona, do you remember circle of truth?" Arizona cringed at her mother at the recollection of her childhood; she hated that circle of truth, but only because she never wanted to hurt anybody by saying what was hurting her. She liked keeping it inside if it saved her parents or brother getting hurt because she was hurt. But she knew it was the best idea, then and now. It cleared the air and they moved on together, as a family. Barbara waited a moment until all eyes were on her; looking at her granddaughter, she continued. "Okay, we all sit in a circle so we can see each other properly, and we all have a chance to say what we want to the other without judgement, and then you get to tell your side of the story. What's said in the circle stays in the circle and is not brought up again, that's what we used to do when your Mama and her brother used to be upset with each other."

Sofia studied the expression on her mama's face and laughed. If her mama looked that uncomfortable, this was going to be fun.

"Now I'm going to begin. I'm very disappointed in you Sofia. You know better than to eavesdrop. You only heard very little of the story and stuff that you shouldn't know because what happened between your moms doesn't mean they love you any less. I want your eavesdropping and pranking to end here and now. Do we have an understanding?" Barbara looked intently at her granddaughter waiting for confirmation.

"Yes ma'am."

"No more hiding your mama's legs when you don't want her going out on a date?" She raised her eyebrows waiting for Sofia to respond after throwing her under the bus, but it had to be said and it had to be finished.

Both older women smiled as they watched Sofia's secrets come out. "Oh, you two aren't off the hook. What the heck do you think you were doing screaming at each other in an elevator? You've had years to figure this stuff out and you decide the perfect time to hear each other was raising your voices at the top of your lungs like toddlers fighting for a toy? You should be embarrassed. _I'm _embarrassed for you." She wagged her fingers at them, both feeling fully chastised and like small children.

Feeling confident, Sofia looked up at Arizona. Her big brown eyes wide with fear. "Do you hate me because I'm broken too? Cuz I don't understand, Mama."

"Oh baby. I do not now nor have I ever hated you. You are my entire world."

"You hate you."

"I did, but I don't now, Sofia. I made a very bad mistake because I was so sad. I hurt you and mommy and I never meant to do that. I didn't know how to live being different, but do you know what? ... You taught me how to live again." Arizona leaned forward and wiped tears from her daughter's cheeks. "Baby, you're my hero."

Sofia's eyes lit up and she started smiling. That simple confession was enough to grab her attention, turning her sullen mood slightly around. "How am I your hero?"

"Do you remember the first time you were told you couldn't run the mile in school because your lungs were too weak and your gym teacher told you to sit it out? But you wouldn't accept that so you walked it? You weren't going to let your disabilities define you and because of that, I decided that too. I'm so proud of you and everything you've worked to overcome, and not a day goes by that I'm not thankful that you are here, in my life; that you're my daughter. I don't wish you had died and you are nowhere near broken. You're perfect. You. Are. Perfect. And you're my hero. And I don't hate me because my daughter taught me how to love myself again."

"Do you hate Mommy?" She asked honestly.

"Oh god no, Sofia."

"Do you love her?" She grinned sheepishly.

"And that's probably our cue to head to bed." Barbara tutted, slipping off of the bed.

Crossing her arms into a pout, Sofia crawled into Callie's lap, situating herself into their favorite position, knowing very well she was playing her mom. "I don't wanna."

"Now!" Barbara clapped. "Skip to it."

Looking up and then back to her mama, Sofia hung her head. She didn't want to leave them because she knew when she woke up they'd all be living apart again, and even if this wasn't the greatest of moments, it was still a _'them' _moment. "Fine." She answered timidly.

"Are we okay, you and me?" Arizona asked, a tremor in her voice.

"Did you really kiss someone else?" She asked honestly.

"Yes Baby, I did."

"Did you love her?"

"No." She answered her daughter quickly and confidently. It wasn't a conversation she ever wanted to have with her daughter, but all three of them needed to hear the truths.

"But you love me?" She asked timidly.

"Always and forever." She wanted to reach out and hug her daughter, but Sofia was still hurt enough that she had to make the step. Arizona didn't want to scare off her daughter. "And Sofia, to answer your question. I will always love your mommy 'til the day I die. We both made mistakes, but you don't stop loving your princess, ever, okay?" Arizona waited until Sofia nodded in understanding. It wasn't the answer the child wanted; she knew Sofia wanted a fairy tale, the maiden expresses her undying love for the princess and they all lived happily ever after declaration, but it would do. Especially when the maiden and the princess still had a chance at finding the happiness they lost. "You're not mad at Mommy for protecting me and lying to you, are you?" She wanted to make sure she hadn't gotten Callie in too much trouble, even if they both were to blame, Callie was only trying to keep things in harmony between everybody.

Sofia tipped her head back and looked up at Callie. Love and sadness radiated from her eyes, a silent connection only the two of them shared. "Nope." She decided with conviction. After hugging and kissing both moms she stopped at the door. "We protect the people we love." She winked and ran out. "Papa told me that." You could hear her yell from the hallway with laughter in her voice.

Barbara remained in the threshold of the door, laughing and shaking her head. "So, before you leave the circle, care to explain why you've been helping Sofia prank us both, Mom?" Arizona smiled as she watched her mother turn sheet white.

"Oh, I'm already out of your circle, Honey. I have to put my grandbaby to bed. You two stay in here, talk. Nobody leaves until the air is clear, do I make myself clear?" She gave them the look daring either woman to argue.

"Yes ma'am." They replied in unison as she disappeared. Silence followed her departure, neither knowing where to begin.

**... And live in the only moment of time over which you have any control, now!**

"Oh Arizona?" Barbara popped her head back in the room. "In the spirit of the circle of truth and no holds bar honesty, maybe you should talk about your Pennsylvania condo."

Shocked, Arizona didn't know what to say, but… "How?"

"Oh, your property tax bill accidentally came to the house and your father opened it before he realized it wasn't addressed to him. We've known for a while now." She answered honestly.

"Why didn't you say anything until now?" Arizona felt guilt and relief at her parents already knowing, and a bit of fear now that it was out in the open for Callie too.

"Oh Arizona, we knew you'd tell us in time. We were just waiting for you to come home." She smiled warmly and non-accusatory. "Behave, no yelling."

Callie sat up straighter against the headboard waiting to see what Arizona said or did next. They both obviously had a lot of explaining to do, but she didn't know where to begin.

"Before we start, I ... can I grab a shower?" Callie played with the pillow fringe under her fingers looking past Arizona's angry stare, at the wall behind her head. "I'll be really fast." She promised.

"NO!" Arizona yelled, laughing at the shocked look on Callie's face. "I mean, no. Cristina's still hiding in there."

Callie laughed awkwardly.

"Cristina, come on out." She yelled only to be greeted with silence.

"Cristina?"

"No, I'm not entering the circle of truth and you can't make me." The lock on the door clicked into place.

"Afraid we'll find out you blew up my apartment circuits?" Callie yelled watching Arizona's head fall back as she cracked up with laughter.

"Are you kidding me?"

"On my way out I might have taken a nose dive tripping over a power strip that had more than a few appliances plugged into it." Callie explained while gauging Arizona's mood just a bit more.

"What appliances?" Arizona was still laughing, hard and deep.

"A coffee pot. An iron. My clothes dryer."

Arizona was laughing so hard she was holding her stomach, a painful expression on her face. Without notice, the door swung open, Cristina marching out. "It was genius. GENIUS!" She roared. "And it worked, you two fools are talking to each other, aren't you? Even with your inappropriate moment in front of Sofia because still, all these years later, you don't know when you _should _hold your tongue and when you shouldn't? But you're still talking and I'm a genius!" She stood with her hands on her hips waiting for an answer after chastising them.

Both women took a few seconds for the David Copperfield moment to set in. It wasn't the first time they'd done such and thing and it probably wasn't going to be the last time, but they were more aware of the things they said in front of their daughter now because of it, because Cristina pointed it out. Their daughter had enough problems and she didn't need her parents demeaning each other in front of her. Quickly changing the subject to a lighter note, "If we're _talking _about things, Yang, let's talk about split pea soup while you're in the circle." Callie joined in Arizona's laughter as Cristina hightailed it out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind herself.

Their laughter continued for a few more minutes, until it dying down brought back the deafening silence.

"So, the shower?" Callie tried joking again.

"Why, you gonna sneak out the window?" Arizona snapped feeling no remorse for her anger now that they were alone.

"Twenty-four floors is a long drop and my parachute is in Sofia's bedroom." She joked again, but was greeted with very angry, sad eyes instead.

"I know, I'm sorry." She whispered sadly.

"Callie, do you know how much that hurt?" Arizona questioned moving from sitting awkwardly in front of Callie to also lean against the headboard. It wasn't as easy to have a face to face in that position, but the other way was killing her back and this way, at least they could start the scary stuff without the evil glare down they were known for giving each other.

"I know. I do and I really am sorry." She paused gathering the courage needed to finish her thoughts. "I got scared." She admitted.

"Okay. I can accept that."

"What?" Callie whipped her head around confused by Arizona's easy acceptance.

"I can accept that, Callie." She repeated.

"Why are you being so complacent with me? I'm not made of glass, I'm not going to shatter. Yell at me for it. Tell me I'm an idiot or a bitch or whatever, but the Arizona Robbins I know doesn't take my shit lying down, or at least the last Arizona Robbins I knew didn't. Not in the end, at least not when it mattered most, I guess." She took a moment to collect her thoughts. "I spent hours in that elevator telling you everything you ever did wrong, never telling you what you did right, never letting you believe you were anything but a horrible wife and you took it. Lying down. I wasn't a fucking saint, Arizona." Her voice rose and rose and rose, panic replacing any anger. Arizona's lack of emotion where she was concerned scared her. To Callie all it screamed in its silence was: _I don't care enough to get angry at you_. And when you don't care enough, you surely don't love enough.

Arizona snickered trying to dispel Callie's panic, but only further sending her spiralling down. "I don't think you were even close to the perfect wife, Callie. But you were my wife and I was very proud of that. I know you made mistakes, a lot of them, but none of them caused our divorce and in the big picture, because of that reason alone, they have no place in the here and now." Arizona explained calmly and rationally.

"I need you to get angry." Callie barely whispered the plea.

"Why?" Arizona turned to look at her ex-wife. That made very little sense.

"I need you to get angry with me. I left you in my own apartment. While you were in the shower. After we had sex. I need you to be angry with me before we can go any further. Please." She begged staring at the ceiling feeling completely foolish. "Yell at me, do something."

"Callie." Arizona remained calm. "I don't need to yell at you; you explained what happened and that's that."

"Please." She continued begging.

"I don't need to yell at you." She raised her voice in frustration. "I don't need to tell you what you did wrong because I'm sure by now you know what you did wrong and where we went wrong. Me bringing it up will only hurt any progress and I'm ... I'm over it all. I don't harbor any hurt feelings because, where you weren't given the chance to grieve, I got that and more. Clearly you learned from our less than stellar past about at least being open and honest because yeah, you took off and made me think the worst, but you came back and you were honest. _That _above all matters most to me." Arizona watched in confusion as Callie silently cried, still not accepting her answers as fact.

"Callie, my loss of temper escalated our already growing problems. We might have been able to overcome my straying had I not followed it up with everything I said that night.

And I learned, if I have something to say, to be clear and think it through. I'm learning to be rational and lead with my head. Can you understand that? I am done pointing out what we did, I want to talk about what we are going to do. I want to talk about your fears and move forward, not back. " Arizona gave Callie the floor, hopefully setting an air of calm to their tumultuous affair.

Understanding Arizona's lack of emotional outburst meant nothing other than a matured woman before her, Callie wiped at the free-falling tears, trying to get a handle on her own emotions. "I'm afraid of you." She answered quietly, but honestly. Daring to look up, she saw a painful sadness flash in Arizona's eyes before she nodded in response to continue.

"I don't, I _can't _handle you hurting me again. And if we put aside my feelings on the matter, I know Sofia wouldn't be able to handle us giving it a go and then, if pattern holds true and the past continues its nasty circle we seem to get stuck in, then if we don't make it, that alone would destroy her."

"Can we tackle one of those things at a time?" Arizona asked. She felt destroyed at the truth behind Callie's words, but she respected it.

"Sofia ..." Callie began.

"No, you. I want to talk about _you,_ because if I can't get you on board, I can't expect to convince you that we will not hurt our daughter if that's the last thing we do, okay?" Arizona stood her ground.

"How are you so sure Sofia's not going to get hurt in this? She already has." Callie questioned.

Calmly, Arizona took Callie's hands in her own. "Because _we've _come a long way. Because Sofia's _still _our number one priority. Because where I was five years ago was a very selfish place and I've grown, you've grown. I think we're ready to tackle things together, a united front, a family." Arizona said her honest peace; her hopes and dreams were out on the table.

"Is that what you want?" She asked clearly and confidently.

"And need."

Callie nodded, affirming Arizona's feelings.

"Are you at the point where the past can be just that, the past? I'm not asking you to forget Callie, but to _trust _me that I won't make the same mistakes. I'm sorry I destroyed our family..."

"No. No you don't get to say that ... I wasn't innocent. I did things too!" Callie interjected.

"I know you weren't, Callie. But that doesn't matter to me, not anymore. It shouldn't after all this time. I already said, I got a chance to grieve and to assign blame and finally accept blame. You weren't given that luxury so I get the place you are at, but I'm asking if you can get past it so we can move on." Arizona was just slightly starting to lose her cool.

"I don't know how we can move on." She answered honestly, but her words were unclear of their true meaning. _This _was her fear.

"You don't know if you can get past what I did?" Arizona choked back the tears.

"You live in Seattle, Arizona. My life is here. I run a department. I _never _wanted to run a department, not after failing as Chief Resident. But I'm good at it and I enjoy it." She explained, panic crawling in, as Arizona simply remained quiet with a small smile on her face. "And my parents are here ... _your _parents." She quickly corrected herself not wanting to upset Arizona for taking _ownership_ of her parents from her. "And aside from their support system, I don't ... I can't leave them. They're getting up there in age and somebody needs to keep an eye on them." Getting painfully quiet, Callie chanced another glance at her ex before she swallowed her pride. "I can't move back to Seattle. And ... and I can't ask you to give up your life and move here." She let out the breath she was holding, _be one hundred per cent honest._

"Ask me."

"What?" Callie snorted, chuckling uncomfortably.

"Ask me. Ask me to move here."

"Your mom mentioned a condo here..." She wasn't ready to take such a leap when she was still working on baby steps. "In Pennsylvania."

"She did." Arizona nodded more than ready to explain. More than ready to take that leap blindly and freely. "Pennsylvania was a new start, and in my head, it was what we needed, time apart to see what we needed from each other. That was, after we healed and dealt with the lingering issues. It was _always _my intention to follow you out here eventually, but I needed to give you space and time to find the bad ass Callie that I had help in destroying, letting you find the pieces I had severed from you until you were unable to do anything but crawl."

"Again, Arizona this is why we get into these situations. Why did you not tell me what you were thinking? That wasn't a decision you should have made yourself. We were getting on in Seattle, I knew what I had to do for my daughter." Callie tried not to raise her voice, but she was so frustrated. It annoyed her that, yet again, secrets had been kept from the other, but she could actually see that Arizona had meant well in the thick of things. But it just highlighted to her that they really needed this confrontation, no matter what wounds rose to the surface. They could finally close them once and for all.

"I know and I'm sorry. Coming here has made me realise that I have missed so much. I've missed hearing about your day in the OR. Even how excited you were when your damn car starred in a movie." Taking a deep breath, Arizona looked at Callie, making sure she was listening, also trying to gauge what Callie's reaction was going to be. "I want to go back to Seattle to start the ball moving, so to speak, to return here. I'm not expecting us to be anything Callie, but I realise that we can do this now. Our mistakes are long in the past and not so inflamed and angry. Yes we still need to work on things, but we can now do it without wanting to kill each other. Right?" Arizona watched a small grin grace Callie's face.

"Time heals and all that." Arizona gave a little laugh, trying to make the next sentence fall from her mouth. "Yes, I have a condo here. I bought it less than a year after you came out here, it was always my intention to move here to be closer to Sofia, but things with us got so screwed up because of my lack of communication..." Arizona caught the raised eyebrow from Callie and she laughed louder this time. "Yeah okay, _our _lack of communication." She corrected herself. Callie was serious about taking equal blame and wasn't going to let her get away with bearing the weight on her shoulders alone any longer. And Arizona was okay with that. She saw it as a big improvement on both their parts.

"Anyway, the couple that is renting from me, their lease is up in a couple of months and they are moving to a bigger place, they need more than two bedrooms for their growing family. It's perfect for _my _family though. But I need _you _to ask me to move here. I need you to want it too. I can't step on your toes."

"Sofia would be out of this world ecstatic if you moved here."

"That wasn't what I asked, Callie." Arizona's heart was racing. She'd come clean and Callie, while she didn't seem upset, she wasn't acting very agreeable either. What if she didn't want this too? What if she saw them finding their even ground enough to continue to do this, move forward, on separate coasts.

"What if it doesn't work?" Callie answered honestly.

"How are we going to know until we _try_?" Which was the truth of the matter, they had to try.

"I'd enjoy your return, if we could ... I miss you and I'd, it'd be nice to have you around." But she couldn't ask.

"Callie!" Arizona let out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm afraid to ask you to ... I'm afraid, Arizona." She answered quietly. "And what would that even mean? I'm scared that we won't have what we had..."

"NO! We will be nothing like what we were...We will be better because we will talk about everything, every decision from now on has to be talked about, no matter how we think the other one will react. Can we try? _This, _it means we get a clean slate out here to figure things out, one step at a time. It means both of us giving things up to get there. You, the pain of the past, and me, Seattle. But to me, both of them seem worth it."

"We'll need ground rules." Callie still didn't give her a straight answer.

"Okay."

"And I get to set them. I ... you can add what you wish, but I need ... I need to stop feeling like a pushover. I know I've put you in that position before, but if I don't take charge of something I'm going to feel useless. Pathetic. And I know that hurts you, me admitting that, but you wanted the honesty."

"I want the honesty." Arizona agreed.

"Firstly, I don't want to get Sofia's hopes up, there is a lot to work out between us. She can't get hurt in the mix until we are one hundred per cent certain of where we are going, what we are doing. Okay?" Callie knew Arizona would agree, they both would do everything in their power to protect their daughter, that much was clear.

"I can agree to that, _but _if things don't work out, I'm staying and we're going to remain civil and raise our daughter together, as adults. No more of this silent treatment!" Arizona made her own point clear. This ignoring each other, both of them, was done.

"So what's next then?" Callie asked.

"I'm going to go back to Seattle so that I can smooth things over with the board that I'll be doing my board responsibilities from Pennsylvania. It's time to give the reins over to Karev. I've been training him for years and he's ready. I'm secure in that knowledge that he will do a stellar job."

"Why don't you just give up your seat?" Callie asked, as if it were a simple answer.

"Not that I don't trust Bailey to run the hospital the way it should be, because she makes a great Chief, but Grey-Sloan will always hold a special place in my heart. I lost a lot there, but I found you and it's important to me. Mark needs to make sure his hospital doesn't fall to the wayside." She shrugged feeling slightly embarrassed by her revelations. "_It's important to me_." She repeated. Jumping off the bed, Arizona searched for her pants, gathering them off of a lampshade in the corner. She had pulled on a pair of Callie's shorts and a tank top after Cristina walked in on her naked and exposed, so eventually had to find the remaining clothes to at least take back some of the dignity she'd lost in Cristina, her mother, _and _her daughter knowing what she'd been doing. Well, at least two of the three knew what she was doing, but eventually, once they had the sex talk with Sofia, she'd figure out what her mama's state of undress meant that day.

Searching her pockets, she came up with a rather wrinkled envelope grasped in her hand. She took a deep breath before turning back to Callie, each step forward gaining confidence. "Here." She handed it over, Callie's brows furrowing as she studied the crumbled paper in her hand.

"What's this?"

"I think it'll explain better. It took me four years to write it so I've had a lot of time to think and ... just read it, okay?" Arizona sounded weak, unsure of herself.

Callie smoothed out the wrinkles, the envelope on her thigh. It was heavy, but she didn't know if that was because it carried years of guilt along with it, or that is was truly heavy. "Is this the letter your therapist ...?" Arizona nodded before Callie could finish her thought. "I'm in, Arizona. You don't have to do this."

"I want to. I kinda need to. It explains more than I ever could, at least right now."

"It's not going to change my mind ... the past is the past, you said so yourself." Callie tried to confirm her position. Watching Arizona squirm made Callie unsettled. Putting the envelope aside on her nightstand, "I'm sorry, but I'll read it later, okay?" She nodded, waiting for Arizona to agree too. "I have a feeling it will be emotional and my brain can't handle anymore tonight."

"Okay." She smiled starting to find her clothes around the room. "It's been a long day, care to turn this into a film night and possibly a game night with the three nosy-bodies outside?"

"I think that's a good idea. Your flight?" Callie dared ask.

"Can wait until later. Tonight is family night."

Throwing open the door, Barbara sauntered her way into the room.

"MOM!" Arizona screeched, grabbing for her shirt as she was, once again, nude.

"Oh, that's nothing I haven't seen before, Arizona Robbins. I used to powder that rear end. And spank it, too." Barbara dug deep into the purse on her shoulder, completely unfazed by her daughter's state of undress. "Here." She threw a business card onto the bed. "His name is Jay James. He's a relationship therapist. Call him." She ordered.

"We're not a couple, Mom!" Arizona argued.

"It's relationship therapy, Arizona Robbins. You two have a relationship, a very weak one at that. You need his guidance before you can figure out what kind of relationship you are going to have. Stop arguing with me, Mother knows best!" She turned on her heel. "Go to him. Tell him Barbie sent you." And with that she sauntered back out of the room leaving both women speechless in her wake.

"Barbie?" Arizona broke the silence.

"Why on earth does your mother have a couples therapist card on her?"

"You have met my father, right? ... More worrisome is why on earth does he call her Barbie?"

"Barbie?" They both said in unison before laughter filled the room depleting any leftover tension from the air.

**Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control, NOW!**


	13. You Had My Heart, You Had My Soul

**AN: ****Thank you for your patience. We've had a really busy September and meant to have this out much earlier but you know how it is having 2 writers, trying to coordinate writing schedules around our families, and then one of us might have had a temper tantrum because she (hint: Nic) wasn't happy with something in the chapter and spent a week sorting it out after already making you wait too long. Sorry again and we hope you enjoy. Thank you SR for being a beta beast. Trace for talking one of us down the edge. And everybody for their reviews. -Nic & Sadie**

**Please forgive any mistakes that may have managed to escape we try but they do manage to sneak in there. Thanks again**

* * *

**Chapter 13: You Had My Heart, You Had My Soul. You Had It All - Didn't You****?**

**You Have Taken Away The Trust, You're The Ghost Haunting Through Her Heart**

As she lurked behind the white sterile wall of the hospital corridor, just out of view, she found herself stalking the blonde as she tried to find her way. She didn't look out of place, being a surgeon who walked halls like these on a daily basis, Arizona only stopped to ask someone twice for information about her destination. Actually, Arizona had walked straight past her in her search for Callie and she hadn't even noticed the woman whose heart she'd destroyed by just showing her face again; she cursed to herself maybe it was the fact she was fully clothed.

Tony felt her heart sink just a little more when she spotted the smile that graced Callie's face when she realised Arizona was there. Did she ever make Callie's smile that wide and glow that bright? She smirked slightly when she caught King's eye roll as Callie introduced him, no doubt as just a mere mortal in the realms of her awesomeness. Tony smiled, she knew how Callie would always project herself to be a rockstar, but deep inside all the insecurities simmered away…Arizona being the cause of it all to boil to the top.

She had been avoiding Callie around the hospital; she had just wanted to clear her head a little. She loved that Callie seemed so happy, but she still couldn't let go of the fact that it wasn't her that was making her that way, and she wasn't ready to be around it yet.

She would always laugh at those pathetic people that couldn't let go, pining over lost loves, and yet here she was hiding around the corner of the Ortho Department trying to eavesdrop in on a conversation that did not concern her. She knew it was wrong, but her lurking gave her opportunity as she overheard that Arizona had wanted to come and get Callie instead of meeting her at the therapist's office. _Looks like they are giving it a shot, _it was a strange feeling for her, she wanted the best for Callie, obviously she thought she was the best, but she knew if she didn't let Callie try again with Arizona, get her truly out her system so to speak, then they would never make it as a couple themselves, _if they had a chance._ And damn it, Tony wanted that chance. So she risked it all. Again she felt herself involuntary growl as Callie gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before directing Arizona to her office to wait while she finished. It was only a quick kiss, but one that made Tony's skin crawl with jealousy. She was sure Arizona would screw up on her own, but waiting was going to kill her. Watching the door close Tony smiled, she had something she wanted to get off her chest.

**And Will We Ever End Up Together? No, I Think Not, It's Never To Become For I Am Not The One**

Arizona made herself home in Callie's office. Taking in the décor of the room that was very typically Callie Torres. Behind the large wooden desk there was a large painting on canvas, she smiled when she recognised it. Callie had a print of it back in Seattle, but this was most definitely an original. She would always comment on the way the paint strokes made the salsa dancers looked like they were moving. Red dresses flowing, would always make her hear the music in her head, brighten her mood no matter what kind of day it was.

Callie was a great dancer, she loved it and you could always see the passion she had for it. Arizona was caught in the memory of the pair dancing and she never realised the extra presence in the room until she heard the door lock.

"You know, you really did break her?"

With her back still to the door, Arizona froze unsure of the presence until she caught the slight accent. It was caring and threatening in one mix of emotions. "Excuse me?" Arizona turned to face Tony. She took in her appearance more closely this time. The taller woman stood intimidatingly in front of the only exit. Her sleek straight shoulder length red hair shone in the artificial light. The woman was very pretty; Arizona couldn't deny that her ex did have very good taste, but she couldn't hate her, because she had got them into this situation and not Tony.

Arizona felt herself flinch slightly as she took one step closer; Tony's eyes sparkled with thought and emotion. "The more intense our relationship became, the more apparent it became that you'd always be the brick wall that I'd never be able to scale." Tony paused as she shook her head slightly and let out a pained laugh. "But I thought you were too self-absorbed to realise that Callie was _it_. She _is_it_._ I'm pretty sure she was _my _it; but I was never hers while you still loomed over her head. And because of that, because of you, she'll be the one I let get away, 'cause I am letting her get away because it seems I have little choice. But you. Why? You, you don't deserve her. I get that you've been through a lot, you have lost lots, but you also threw Callie away like she was yesterday's garbage. You don't do that to the people you _claim _to love. You just don't hurt the people you love that way."

Arizona felt herself physically gulp as Tony was now loitering above her. Tony watched the panic appear in the blonde's eyes, it was actually reassuring that she was able to say something and be heard. "You are going to destroy her this time, but at least this time she will have somebody there to pick up the pieces because you, Arizona Robbins, don't know any better. Your radar consists of what revolves around _you _and that's never included Callie or her feelings, has it?" Tony waited for Arizona's rebuttal, but nothing came. The blonde woman sat there, a slight nod in response, shame masking her face. It wasn't the response Tony was expecting, not from a woman she'd known or at least heard about to ever take things lying down. It was unnerving.

"You know when you hurt her again…Let's just say I know people who can make you disappear." Tony purred making sure she kept the smile that was threatening to appear hidden; she wasn't a violent person and she had no ties to anyone who could do those things, but having the accent help with her threat. She wanted to see if this _idiot _in her eyes was going to fight for Callie. She knew from Callie, unintentionally of course, that Arizona wouldn't stand for a telling off, but the verbal fight she was expecting never came as she just looked at the ground and took a deep breath. Tony's bubble deflated a little as the silence dragged on.

Unable to stand on her own two feet both literally and figuratively, Arizona sat on the couch, her shoulders slumped, her posture defeated. "I'm truly sorry, Tony." Arizona looked up from her seated position at the other woman, pain reflected in her eyes and Tony felt her stance soften at the other woman's vulnerability. A vulnerability she not expected from the woman that would always be the villain in her own eyes.

Arizona lowered her eyes to the ground again before she spoke, she hated that look of sympathy, and certainly from someone she felt shouldn't give her. "I didn't mean for this, you know. I didn't want to wait for Callie to be happy and then do this. I wanted her to be happy because it was something I obviously lost the power to do. I've never stopped loving her, but I hurt her deeply and I didn't know where to go from that point." Arizona shook her head, she wasn't allowed to feel shame over this anymore because it would only hold her back, hold them back in their own healing process, but shame was a hard emotion to kick. Taking a deep breath, Arizona paused looking down again, when she heard the chair legs scratch across the floor. She tried to hold her head up high and dared to look the most recent heart she'd broken, in the eye. Tony had now taken a seat and was intently listening to her with understanding and what looked like compassion in her eyes.

"It's taken me a long time to get _me _back, I mean, I can't even say that it is me. It's a healthier version of me, and I took too long not getting help. I thought I was strong enough. I didn't want to admit I was weak, everyone already looked at me as the amputee, the disabled person, that woman that _used _to be Arizona Robbins. I never wanted my wife to do that too, and yet my actions forced her to do just that."

She felt rage sitting there listening to Arizona, but it was less at the woman sitting in front of her and more at herself. She _had _to hate this woman because this woman had stolen Callie from her, but how could she? Arizona wasn't fighting back, she was truly opening up and ... apologizing. She wanted a fight. _God _how she'd be able to deal with this better if only Arizona Robbins fought back. She was supposed to fight back ... but instead Tony found herself and her anger melting. "Admitting you need help doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong, you are strong enough to say that you need help. In my opinion anyway." Tony spoke gently, she understood that it was easier to talk to a stranger sometimes and if she was truly going to give Callie up without a fight ... that thought burned her, but if she was going to do it, maybe after the bitterness passed, being _just_ friends wasn't such a bad thing. That might be the only tie she would ever have with Callie and she wasn't willing to give it up even if that meant Arizona Robbins had to be part of the package too…

"I know that now, but back then I was bitter and angry, and nasty was my defense mechanism. I made Callie go to meetings for the survivors and then I used it against her. Telling her she wasn't a victim and should stop acting like one. The fact was, I _made _her one. Have you ever said something you know is not right, but you can't stop it before it leaves your mouth? It was months that I put her through that. I finally saw what I was doing and tried, I tried to act like I was good. Burying everything and building a false facade of the person I used to be. The cracks were showing and I did nothing, I have no excuse for what I did to Callie...It was the biggest mistake of my life that followed another then another." Arizona shuffled slightly, moving in the seat, as she felt uncomfortable for having sat so long. Although really, her discomfort was in the ease at which she found herself talking to a woman she barely knew. A woman that had shared the most intimate moments with _her _lover. And that thought brought with it, slight comfort mixed with disbelief, and ultimately pain. Pain so obvious that she couldn't stop the tears from forming and then cascading down her cheeks. She shifted uncomfortably, looking everywhere but at the other woman in the room, suddenly feeling trapped, but when she went to move when a hand grasped her fisted ones with a gentle grip and comforting squeeze. She didn't know how to react especially when this woman had just threatened her life. The level of comfort she was feeling here was confusing and she needed it more than she could admit. After first freezing and almost pulling away, Arizona took a deep breath, leaning into the friendly embrace of hands. It was more foreign, the comforting gesture, than she cared to admit.

"I got better, I admitted I needed help, but I could never fix myself with Callie around. I couldn't let her see me so broken. I let things get away from me: Callie, time…I was scared and yes, when I heard about you, it was like a lightening bolt. Please believe me, I know you have no reason to, but it was never my intention to break you up. I just realised, that I couldn't not have Callie in my life anymore."

"For the record I don't like you!" Arizona nodded, she knew the woman wouldn't and she had no right asking for her understanding. "But I don't _know you. _This you, I've heard all about two versions of you...maybe third time will be the charm. I love Callie, she's my best friend and I'm telling you I will _always _be there for her. So if you hurt her again, lets just say a missing leg will be the least of your worries." With the obvious change of tactic from when to if in that threat, the two women looked at each other as they heard the door handle turn and then the door rattle as someone tried to get in.

"Arizona? Arizona why is the door locked? We have therapy in twenty minutes and we need to leave _now. _Are you okay? Arizona?" Callie's panicked voice was heard as the door rattled some more. To everybody in the room, it was obvious that Callie was worried over the locked door, but more importantly, in general, genuinely concerned for Arizona. Now only Arizona knew that Callie's concerns stemmed from their impending therapy session, because they were both so wounded and walked away from each appointment with what they felt was more on their plate than they could handle, but the reasoning didn't matter because the elephant sitting on Tony's chest was all about how much Callie cared for Arizona. After everything, even if the other two women couldn't see it yet, Callie loved Arizona.

Conflicted, Tony didn't know what to do and where to go. She would always protect Callie, but at the same time, _did _Callie need protecting where Arizona was concerned anymore? Still, she had to at least make Arizona _think_ there was a threat even though Tony herself knew that there was none, on either side. She came in here with one intention and was leaving with another. Maintain what she was given and accept that was all it would ever be. Arizona just didn't need to know that. Not right now. "I will give you and Callie space to work things out, but trust me if you hurt her again." With that Tony got up and made her way to the door unlocking and pulling in open. Watching as Callie fell through the threshold, she smiled brightly and walked out of the office and down the corridor. "Hey Callie."

Callie was left with her mouth open gulping like a fish out of water, looking back and forth from her seated ex-wife to the direction her ex-girlfriend took off in.

**So you walk into my office and you're feeling kind of low. You're depressed, confused, and anxious, you've got no place to go. Well, I'm the one to talk to, I'm the man who understands. You just take a hundred fifty bucks and pop it in my hands. And hit the couch, hit the couch...**

"Uh huh, and how does that make you feel, Arizona?" The emotionless eyes stared steely into Arizona's. She was hurt, of course she was at what came out of Callie's mouth, but she'd heard a variation of it in the elevator so the blow wasn't as devastating. What was devastating was that Callie had admitted that she couldn't trust her.

"And how can I trust you? You...you could just do all this to get me back...to hurt me like I hurt you. Make me think you want me back? What's not to say that you and Tony...I mean she's already threatened me with the Russian Mafia..."

"Seriously, Arizona is that what you think of me. That I would resort to something so low? That I'd do such an evil thing? That I would hurt _our _daughter in _that _way just to hurt you? If that is the case, then I don't think I want to see if we can be involved in a relationship anymore...and Tony, she doesn't even know anyone in the Mafia. She's lived here in the states since she was a baby; she's messing with you."

"Ladies, please can you keep your voices down. I want you to get whatever off your chest in a safe environment, but there is a daycare next door and I don't think they'll appreciate the two banshees screaming at each other." The sarcastic tone never bode well with the two women.

"We've not been screaming at each other we're merely talking." Callie straightened on her seat as Arizona laughed.

"This is a rather refined conversation." Arizona looked at Callie sheepishly as her ex bit her lip. She knew fine well that both of them had taken the volume higher than ten.

"Listening to you today, we've made great progress from our first couple of sessions. From what I've heard from you both, _trust _seems to be a big issue on both parts. Callie, you don't trust Arizona not to run away from things and more recently the infidelity which can be seen as an emotional flee of sense. Arizona, you don't trust Callie, because you're worried that you can't be enough for her and that she once broke a promise to you. I need you both to work on that...I would like if you could come back next session and tell me everything you do trust each other with…" He was cut off when both women spoke in tandem.

"_SOFIA_!" both women looked at each other and offered a smile, the tension in the room relaxed with the mention of _their _daughter.

Jay was smiling on the inside; he didn't let the two women see his reaction to their unity. They found common ground; things could definitely be worked on. "Alright then, Callie you need to read Arizona's letter. You can't keep putting it off. I would like you to read it because I want you to be open and talk about its contents in the safe environment we've made here. Can you do that for me...for you both?"

Callie nodded, as she looked to the floor, ashamed that it had taken her so long to open that darn letter that sat against her lamp, taunting her for being chicken. She really wasn't sure what she was going to read.

**You will live in happiness too, Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety Do**

Callie handed over the washcloth, grabbing another one for herself. Arizona wasn't laughing, so Callie was trying very hard not to as well, but with the foamy substance dripping down her face, it was almost impossible. She was a hot mess, in every way.

"It's not funny, Calliope!" Arizona growled.

"I'm not laughing." She swore, holding up her hands and fighting the urge.

"You're laughing inside and that still counts." Arizona whined. "This is out of control, _she's _out of control!"

"It's not like we've spent much time correcting these antics in the past; we're kinda to blame that she didn't take us seriously when we _finally_ put the kibosh on it." Callie snickered as she watched Arizona smear white foam further across her face. It wasn't cleaning well.

"Calliope!" She grabbed Callie's washcloth out of her hands, giving her face another go after wetting it. "What is this stuff anyway?"

Spying what she presumed was now an empty shaving cream can on the toilet, Callie laughed again. "It's shaving cream, you aren't going to die from it."

She huffed, feeling chastised for her feelings. "Why aren't you angry? You should be angry. Sofia was told to cut it out with the pranks, be angry." Arizona growled.

"Oh, I'm angry. I just bought that can!" She smiled an evil grin. "But I was thinking..." She trailed off trying to collect her thoughts.

Arizona caught on rather quickly. "It's payback time, isn't it?" She finished Callie's thought. She'd been doing that a lot lately; as if they were back in the _zone,_ but Arizona wasn't going to point that out. Things were still so new, again. And fresh. And still raw between them. But she found an odd comfort in her old annoying habit of finishing Callie's sentences. Even during their many phone calls while Arizona was still in Seattle, this seemed to be the norm. And what a wonderful norm it was to have again.

"Oh yeah, payback!" She nodded. "I know that we really shouldn't because it could only encourage her to further continue this shit, but if we make it _really _good, _really _scare her, maybe, just maybe, we might scare her into stopping this once and for all."

"So, you must have something brewing, but is it going to be enough? She got us both with shaving cream to the face in one swift kick. And are we just going to teach her that pranking is acceptable outside of April Fool's Day? I don't want to send her the wrong idea."

"I don't have anything as of yet, but it'll come to me." Callie grabbed for another towel, cleaning herself off while she thought hard of their next step. "But it really is time to teach her a lesson, Arizona. I want pranking to come to an end, even on April Fool's Day. I think using this as a scare-tactic is our only hope. Maybe it's not the best thing, using a prank to stop her from pranking, but ... I'm out of ideas. Punishing her hasn't stopped it because we're covered in shaving cream. Sometimes you've got to join them."

"Are we going to bring Cristina in on this? She might..."

Callie cut her off with a look. "Oh hell no, Arizona. I think it's time to get them both back, once and for all. A lesson of all lessons."

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and both parents knew their lack of discipline for Sofia's pranking would be more effective than any punishment they could dish out. Sofia needed a taste of her own medicine and while they weren't sure how yet, they would figure it out. All in due time.

"Movie time!" Arizona was the first to join her daughter in the family room. Plopping down on the couch, she cuddled into the corner, enjoying the scene of her daughter squirming before her.

"Movie time? But..." Sofia wasn't really going to question her mom's easy-going mood, but she just got them both with shaving cream.

First, Sofia waited until she was certain both moms were sound asleep on their respective couches after watching mindless daytime television in an attempt to de-stress after their appointment. Once they were out, Sofia filled her mom's hand with shaving cream. The priceless and never failing feather to the nose, hand smacking the face went off with a hitch and Sofia almost died laughing when shaving cream went everywhere. The look on her mom's face was worth it as her eyes grew wide with shock, spitting out the white foamy substance followed by a blood curdling scream; a mix of rage, surprise, and panic. The scream was so startling that her mama panicked from a dead sleep, trapping herself in the blanket around her, causing her to roll off of the couch. That in itself was great, but she played right into Sofia's finale by rolling face first into a pie of shaving cream waiting below. It was her best prank to date as it killed two birds with one stone. She wasn't even sure it would work, the second part of her plan, but it was priceless and Sofia was damn proud of herself. She was even willing to take her punishment like a champ, but this complacent mom thing was very unwelcome.

"But what? Don't you want to watch a movie?" Arizona bit her tongue as Sofia eyed her suspiciously.

"Willy Wonka?" Sofia continued to give odd looks waiting for the other shoe to drop. Adding Willy Wonka into the mix she was sure would push them over the edge. They _both _hated that movie and she loved it. She loved it so much that she had ruined at least two DVDs each at both parent's houses from over-watching and her grandfather had banned the movie from even being mentioned in his presence.

"Sounds good." Callie plopped on the other end of the couch giving a little space between herself and Arizona. There were still very awkward moments when neither of them knew exactly what to say or do with each other. What was pushing it too far, and what was being insulting by holding back too much. She figured that putting Sofia between them was a safe thing at the moment. Especially since things had gotten slightly heated at the relationship therapy appointment from earlier in the day, and both of their prides and feelings were a little wounded. "Sof, go get a snack, I'll bring up the movie."

Sofia squealed, racing for the pantry for either something sweet or salty, processed food that Callie hated keeping in her house, but before she reached her destination, both moms yelled out at the same time. "Fruit."

Smiling behind their backs, she took great pleasure in the fact that they were parenting together and able to be in the same room for long periods of time without killing each other. It had only been a few months of having what she felt was a real family for the first time in her memory, but it was a great few months. Sofia was even certain that when everybody was in town together, the guest room where her mama was supposed to sleep, remained empty at night, both moms holed up in the master bedroom, together. It was a few visits after they sorted things out, and the visits were becoming more frequent when she found that they were sleeping together after a nightmare one night. First, Sofia stopped by the guest room as it was the closest to her own room and she needed immediate comfort, only to find it empty. Tears streaming down her little cheeks, she was terrified at her mama's disappearance until she entered her mom's bedroom, finding two lumps under the covers, cuddled together. Her own nightmare forgotten as this dream was a much better thought so she returned to her room, smile pasted on her face at the new knowledge that her moms were sharing a bed. But she'd never dare point out that she knew; the waters were still too murky.

"Wash it first." Callie hollered when she heard Sofia walking back without hearing the sink turn on in the kitchen. Turning her system over to the DVD player, she didn't even have to get up off of the couch knowing that Willy Wonka was already in her damn machine. She didn't even have to get off of the couch to check, she knew. Sofia watched Willy Wonka any chance she was given.

"Ready?" Callie asked looked between Sofia sitting with a bowl full of berries in her lap and Arizona looking as if she was ready to fall back asleep knowing the doom of Willy Wonka would surely bore her there.

"Where's the doctor tonight?" Sofia asked, both women rolling their eyes.

"You know me and Mommy are both doctors too, right?" Arizona asked wondering why Cristina was always _the doctor_ and they weren't anything special.

"I know, but she's an important doctor. She works on hearts!" Sofia grinned when both moms huffed and growled. She was just repeating the stuff her aunt had told her to in order to annoy her moms. She enjoyed pushing their buttons.

"Excuse me, Little Miss. Did I hear you correctly in saying that me and Mommy aren't important doctors? I saved your life..." Arizona started lecturing.

"And Mommy saved yours." Sofia added her two cents silencing her mama. It was still a slightly sticky subject and one they did _not _discuss in front of their daughter. "I know you two are important. I was teasing, don't have a cow, Dude."

"Don't have a cow, dude? Where did you hear that?" Callie asked.

"The doctor." She smiled at the mutual groan.

"Aunt Cristina is out with Toby." Callie answered her daughter's original question hoping to change the subject from getting out of control. They were not having the '_my penis is bigger than Aunt Cristina's' _conversation with their daughter.

"Oh. Why's she always come out here with Mama if she never spends time with us?"

"Because Mama hates to fly and they made a deal, Mama won't recommend Dr. Kepner to head up her department if your aunt flew out with her every time she came. For moral support." Callie explained. While she knew Cristina wasn't Kepner's biggest fan, her role on the board would make certain that April never got that position and Callie knew this. She figured that Cristina came out to keep an eye on them, keeping them in line. Her friend wanted them to get their happily ever after and would make any excuse to see that happened, but Callie wasn't going to point that out. Let them all feign ignorance because Cristina would deny it until the cows came home, and they all liked the little family they had rebuilt, all of them together.

"Oh." Sofia shrugged, snuggling in between her moms. She was certainly okay with just _them _time, but she did miss seeing her godmother too. If only she could convince Aunt Cristina to move out to Pennsylvania too, she'd be a happy camper.

The movie was half over and both mothers were beyond bored, but family time was important so they set their minds to pretending they were enjoying themselves and kept trekking on. "Let me have some berries, Sof." Arizona grabbed the bowl that her daughter had been hoarding. "You ate all the blueberries, Brat!"

Sofia grinned big, her teeth and tongue dyed a nice shade of purple. "You're gonna turn into a blueberry one of these days, Sofia." Callie lectured as they dug through the bowl of berries for blue, but coming up short. "Seriously Sofia, there was at least a pound of blueberries in that mix. You ate them all."

"Yup." She stuck her blue tongue out at her moms and went back to watching her movie.

"_Given good manners you will go far. You will live in happiness too, like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo." _Sofia sung along with the movie, gleefully cheering as Violet was rolled off to the juicers.

Callie grinned so big her cheeks hurt. Taking her phone out, she secretly texted Arizona from next to her thigh, out of sight of their daughter's wandering eyes.

Arizona groaned as her phone vibrated, pulling it out from her back pocket.

"Who texted you, Mama?" Sofia paused to look at Arizona whose smile was even bigger than that of Callie after reading the screen.

"Um ..." Arizona thought for a moment. "It was my bank. Telling me that the problem with my account was under review and to look for a deposit any time now. _It's about time._" She winked over her daughter's head whose attention was now back on the screen.

When the credits rolled across the screen, both mothers let out a sigh of relief. Not only did that cue that their Willy Wonka induced hell was now over, but that it was bedtime for their darling daughter. Before waking Sleeping Beauty from where she'd crawled onto the floor to watch the end of the film, they slipped out of the tv room and made their way to the kitchen.

"You really think this plan will work?" Arizona asked as she watched Callie sorting through her baking cabinet.

"Perfectly!" She silently cheered as she found the bottle. "Can you go grab her Burt's Bees lotion from her night stand. The emptier bottle please, I don't want to waste an entire bottle for this."

"I don't know, Callie." Arizona put the bottle on the counter. "This could be pretty dangerous, what if she has a bad reaction?"

"It's organic. I made it."

"You made it?" Arizona scoffed. "What are you, Super Mom or something?"

"Pinterest addiction. My addiction runs far worse than I care to admit. There should be a support-group for it, I swear." Callie laughed with Arizona. "I use it in her paints, her play doh, and when she wanted to go out as The Hulk for Halloween last year. Completely, one hundred percent safe. You can eat it, your skin can absorb it, and if it gets in your eyes, you have no worries." She explained while she finished up the setup for the prank.

"Can you shake it?" Callie asked bending over to put the remainder of her stash away.

Arizona smirked taking a few steps in, grabbing Callie's hips as she was bent at the waist, and started to literally shake it.

Taking a few moments to enjoy the feel of Arizona up against her, pressed intimately in all the right places, Callie worked herself backwards before turning herself around, her arms circling around Arizona. Daring more, she leaned in for a quick peck that immediately got out of control. Arizona backed her into the counter, her hands now tangled in Callie's hair as they both deepened the kiss.

Moaning loud enough to break the trance, Callie pulled back. "Mmm, what brought that about?" She asked timidly.

Since their joint counseling session, things between them looked dank for the foreseeable future. They kept bringing up the most painful stuff and every time they thought they were both on the same page, more wounds were torn open once again only to start bleeding out even faster. They had years of issues to address and those issues seemed to put new barriers between them each session. Callie wasn't ready to admit defeat, she really wanted to work toward something more with Arizona that didn't involve just co-parenting and the occasional "sexy sleepover" when neither of them could control their raging hormones, but things seemed so bleak as they continued to figure out their roles in each other's lives. They knew what they wanted the end result to be, a solid family unit, them together as more than just Sofia's mom Callie and her mom Arizona, but Callie and Arizona, Sofia's moms. But it was also an uphill battle that was going to take time. Therapy was their battleground, a combat zone where progress was proving more painful than anything else Arizona reaching out like this was a new development and one she accepted with open arms.

Knowing this conversation could go one of two ways, Arizona opted for the easier one. They had other things to deal with and maybe later in privacy where they wouldn't be interrupted, they could get deeper, but for now, a simple answer was necessary. "You said to shake it, you should have probably specified what you wanted me to shake because if you're going to bend over and show me your ass and tell me to shake it, I'm going to shake it." She smiled when Callie chuckled at her.

"You're a hot mess. Shake the lotion bottle. I'm going to get Sofia and meet you in the bedroom." She separated herself from Arizona because had she stayed even a few more moments, she'd probably finish _shaking it._

"Sofia Baby. It's bedtime. Wake-up." Callie gently stroked her daughter's hair. Half mooned eyes looked up at her before falling back into a deep sleep; not even a moan out of her.

After ten minutes of sweet talking and poking, Callie gave up on trying to wake their daughter. She gathered her into her arms and made for the bedroom. After removing her hearing aid, they stripped their daughter, trying very hard not to let their own excitement wake Sofia from her deep slumber.

"What on God's green earth are you doing?" Sofia asked in her sternest voice.

Both women panicked as they had the lotion squirted into their gloved hands ready to lather her up.

"Um ... well ... we're putting on your night cream, Baby. You know so you because you and you put it on every night when you and sleep and ..." Arizona started stuttering until Callie elbowed her in her side.

"She's still sleeping. Look at her eyes." She whispered, motioning with the same elbow that Sofia was indeed still sound asleep."

"I hate that. I hate when she talks in her sleep. It freaks me out. One time she started an entire conversation with her dolly in her sleep. Telling her she knew what I was doing in the other room and they had to be quiet because I needed to finish. She was so loud and it was so real that it scared me and I injured myself. Was the very last time I ever ... when she was home." Arizona wiped her hand across her forehead to remove the fallen bangs. Callie had to bite her tongue as a colorful streak appeared across her skin. There were always casualties in war and she figured better Arizona than her.

"Just what the hell were you doing, Arizona?" Callie teased.

"I uh, I was ... it was a _really _long day and I was pleasuring myself, okay? Please don't try to tell me you've haven't done it because I caught you, on _more _than one occasion." Arizona smiled a flirty grin. She was trying to be funny and it would have been funny except the last time she caught Callie masturbating it was right before she finally decided enough was enough and her wife asked for a divorce. They lived together for a few months after the affair; if you could call that living together since Callie made certain they were on opposing schedules, never home together. Toward the end, Arizona walked in on Callie physically relieving all of the tension she carried around with her. They were both so wound up and for a few minutes they let lust cloud their judgement until Callie found her footing again, pushing Arizona off and fleeing the shower and then apartment as fast as she could without looking back. She left Arizona, almost fully clothed, barely topless, standing in the shower, her world caving in on her. When Callie finally found the courage to return home, she brought divorce papers along with her and moved out that night. So what should have been fun teasing was just a sore memory for both of them.

"Just put her night lotion on." Callie ordered quietly, ignoring the elephant in the room that the last comment brought with it. Shaking the bitter thoughts from her head, she started to lather up Sofia from head to toe. "When did she put her black sheets on the bed?" Callie asked changing the subject.

"She didn't. I did. I didn't want this staining her white sheets and if she woke up and saw it all over white sheets, she's smart enough to figure it out." Arizona explained. "Holy fuck look how dark she is." Arizona remarked as she watched her daughter's tan skin turn into a crayon.

"You're brilliant." She smiled when Arizona smiled in response. "Let's get her pjs on and get out of here before she decides to wake up and ruin it"

**There's something wild about you, child. That's so contagious. Let's be outrageous. Let's misbehave**.

Cuddling on the couch, Callie and Arizona had reached a common truce for the night having worked together for the good of their daughter. Well, the _good_ was probably a far fetch, but maybe this would teach Sofia a lesson once and for all. It seemed more and more they found common ground through their daughter and having that, they could work through whatever else was thrown at them. Callie still hadn't been able to open the letter Arizona gave her; she wasn't ready and today when their relationship counselor asked her to do it, she finally agreed it was time. Callie told Arizona that she would do it tonight, but not whilst the blonde was in the room. Grudgingly, Arizona said she would sleep in the guest room, she supported her decision even if it was driving Arizona a bit bonkers, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to see Callie's reaction to it or not. Callie remained firm that whatever the letter had to hold wouldn't change where they were going; she just wasn't ready to face the emotions that the letter would surely bring to the surface with it. She had wanted to be stronger, she wanted _them _to be stronger, but she understood that while they were both in counseling, it was definitely a supported environment to keep them both grounded.

The door flew open tearing each woman from their chain of thought causing both of them to jump apart like they were doing something wrong.

"North of the Island, there lives an old dear train. A little tram engine. TOBY is his name." Cristina swayed side to side as Toby tried desperately to hold her up in his own drunken state, staggering into the doorframe as he tried to protect the un-equilibrated woman, who continued to bounce off of every surface possible.

"LOOOOOOOOOOOK ROBBINS! I lost a shoooooooeeeeee!" Cristina stood looking at her barefoot as her arms flailed around before rigidly pointing her finger to over emphasise the missing item, giggling manically to herself. "Do you remember the last time I lost my shoe? You know, looking back it kinda was a bit dumb because you lost your left leg, well you didn't lose it did you, you kinda know what happened to it!" Cristina motioned a chopping action with her hand and moved toward Callie making growling noises. "It wouldn't have bothered you as much if you'd lost a shoe, now would it?" Cristina hiccupped as Callie raised her voice louder than she intended in saying her friends name in shock, she looked over toward Arizona expecting to see anything, but the amusement in her eyes.

"He's quaint and old fashioned, but careful and wise." She bellowed out as he finally managed to get her into the TV room, dropping her on the couch next to Callie and Arizona.

"She's plastered. Threw up in the can on the way over." Toby scratched his head, that didn't sound right. "Can. NO. Can. NO. The can. NO. The yellow thing. That thing that drives and is yellow. I think that's where the shoe is?"

"Toby, oh Toby. The world's much nicer when we see you. Toby, dear Toby. There's still lots that you can do." Cristina continued to sing her voice much lower after both moms growled for her to shut up and not wake Sofia up.

"Are you singing Thomas the Tank Engine? What is wrong with you?" Arizona queried, squinting her eyes in confusion as Callie laughed at her friend singing toddler songs.

"But nobody rides him nowadays..."

"She's been telling everybody I'm old and 'unridden' since we ended the night." Toby growled. "It's the last time I talk to anyone, I was just trying to get a word in anyway. The twisted woman has issues, I have no idea why they allow her to cut!"

"Yeah well I AM THE BEST and I speakith the truthith." She laughed hard. "Sofia and I watch it sometimes. What is wrong with _you_?" She poked Arizona in the ribs. "You know what's wrong with you?" She continued before Arizona could respond.

"My cue to leave, I've had enough abuse tonight. Bitch can dole it out with the best of 'em. I've gotta get another can cuz the driver was maaaaaaaaad and peeled away when we got out." Toby swayed his way to the door.

"Toby, stay, sleep on the couch." Callie ordered.

"Where's she gonna sleep?" He pointed at Cristina, who had begun to drift off into a drunken slumber, but his acknowledgement of her set her off again.

"You know what's wrong with you?" Cristina asked again. "You need somebody to take the stick out of your ass."

Arizona sighed, drunk Cristina, while fun, was blunt and honest. More so than her normal blunt and honest. This wasn't Arizona's first tango with the she-demon, the nonsense that came from a drunk Cristina stopped being hurtful years before, but mostly because as well as she could dole it out, she could take it just as well and it gave Arizona plenty of opportunity to get her own jabs in. They both cleared the air through alcohol.

"I mean, you're hot. You're intelligent, though I'd never tell you if I wasn't drunk. If I were into girls, I'd do you in a heartbeat. But you're so uptight, Robbins. Torres, pull the stick out of her ass and fill her with something else or I might just do it myself."

Arizona's face went from shock to amusement. Her grin causing bewilderment to cross Callie's face.

"Cristina, why don't we get you into bed. First let's get Toby settled, can you sit over on the chair." She was smiling so big and Callie still wasn't catching on. Quickly setting off, she gathered stuff to make his bed, nobody moving to help. "Down, sleep it off." Arizona pointed once everything was settled; Toby obeying without arguing.

"Mmmm Callie, is she this bossy in the bedroom, Meoooowww!?" Callie laughed when she saw her best friend try to make cat claw impressions towards Arizona as the blonde forced him down on the sofa asserting her authority.

"Don't worry King, she just has a way with controlling misbehaving children." Callie smirked when she received a feeble attempt at a stuck out tongue.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Cristina whined.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about that." Arizona almost choked on her words as she caught the look on her ex-wife's face when she finally caught on to her plan. She finally remembered that she was going to stay in the guest room and given all the nonsense that just came out of Cristina's mouth, Callie was enjoying the fact that her ex was going to mess with woman. Callie was also enjoying the fact that Arizona was taking full control of this prankster _and _that without a word spoken, she could read Arizona's mind and know exactly what was going to go down. It reminded her that they still had it.

"I'm not sleeping with youuuuuu, Robbins. You might be hotttttttttt, but I'm not drunk nuff to dive in the muff." Cristina slurred following them into the bedroom. "Get it, nuff-muff. I rhymed!" She hiccuped.

"Clever one you are." Arizona's voice echoed with laughter that went unnoticed by the drunk.

"Why are you putting me in your bed? Oh god, are we sleeping together?"

"I'll keep my hands to myself, I promise." Arizona scooted into bed as Callie folded her drunk friend into the opposite side, under the covers.

"You are pretty hot, Robbins. For a girl." Cristina muttered as she relaxed into the bed. "Maybe one day. If I were that way inclined."

"So you keep saying. Now shuddup and go to sleep." Arizona closed her eyes when Cristina rolled over and started spooning her. This was going to be harder for her than she expected, but so worth it in the end. Smiling to herself as she heard the drunken snore take over, she nudged her to test how deep her sleep was. Knowing that she was out for the count, Arizona set about making sure her plan worked.

_Cristina looked everywhere, but it was gone. It was nowhere in sight and she was starting to panic._

"_Where's ...?" Meredith's words were mumbled under Cristina's panic._

"_I lost my leg." She looked down seeing only one foot._

"_But where's?" Meredith's incessant questioning was getting on her nerves._

"_I lost a leg." Cristina shook her head trying to remember the last place she saw it. They'd just operated, it had to be somewhere. Her leg didn't just get up and walk away ... did it?_

"_Cristina ... is this what you are looking for?" Meredith asked holding up something for Cristina._

"_I don't know. Left or right?!" She didn't look up. "I only have one leg." Cristina finally glanced up seeing Meredith holding onto her leg. Grabbing it back with enough force that her friend fell backwards._

"_Oh god." Cristina moaned stroking the length of her leg in the joy that it was found. "You're so soft and smooth and mine and I never want to lose you."_

A pounding feeling took complete control of Cristina's entire state of being as she was viciously thrown into reality.

"What the fuck?" She winced trying to open her eyes. _What was she holding?_

"Um, Cristina. I'd rather you go back to stroking something else, I can't really feel you touching my prosthetic and I was enjoying where your hands were only a few hours ago." Arizona purred next to her as Cristina opened her eyes again seeing Arizona's prosthetic come into clear view; Arizona's prosthetic that she was hugging tightly.


	14. Lets open our eyes to a brand new day

**AN: **Well our lovelies, we have a bit of a hard one for you at the beginning but it will cheer up, so please no worries. Thank you just never seems enough to the people that take the time to read this, myself and Nic are very appreciative of it. It's nice that people are enjoying something you've created.

I have to thank Shinata Riyoko who has been brilliant she's been really busy at the moment yet she always gets these chapters back to us in less than a day. You're awesome. Thank you to my Zoe she keeps my brain from running, don't know what I'd do without her and even though she will not like this but Thank you to Nic for doing this with me its been great fun hoping we can do something else together.

We hope you forgive us for any mistakes that have escaped and hope you continue to enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 14: Let's open our eyes, to the brand new day, its a brand new day**

**Everyday, live it like it's your last one. Ever kiss, kiss it like it's your first love**

Dear Calliope,

It's been awhile since I've heard your voice because you're avoiding me. Actually it's been 117 days. I know because I am counting. But I get that and even understand you, but this can't go on forever, right? You are going to have to talk to me. We have a child, you can't give me the silent treatment forever. I guess since you aren't talking to me, this letter is an even better idea than just clearing the air. My therapist suggested I write to you, explain things. Yes, you read that right, I'm in therapy. You can close your mouth now, you're letting flies in.

Did you at least smile? I miss your smile. Will you ever smile again or did I ultimately break you forever?

I'm very early in this therapy thing so I have a lot of feelings and I don't know what to do with them. Please keep that in mind and bear with me, I'm not sure where this is going to go, but the more I think about it, the more I know that I have to write it. It's not always going to be pretty and I'll apologize now, but my ... _our _inability to really talk to each other has gotten us here and if we have any hopes of reconciling, we need to hear each other out.

I still hold onto hope.

139 days. I haven't held a conversation with you in 139 days. You've said maybe a total of 100 words since you boarded the plane for Pennsylvania. You can't still be mad at me, can you? I'm mad at you. We are mothers, Calliope. We share a child and you can't even talk to me. I'll give you credit with sending constant updates along with so many photos, I have had to seek another hard drive in order to store them, but that's not enough, Calliope! It's not enough! I miss you, okay? But I'm not giving up. _You _gave up too quickly on this marriage. I screwed up, okay? I, Arizona Robbins, screwed up. But how many times did you screw up and I just turn a blind eye? I started this letter with hope and I'm not giving that up, you can't make me.

I didn't send you to Pennsylvania to hurt you. I already had hurt you, I wanted to heal you. The distance was supposed to give us both the space to find ourselves again, but instead it's just made the void in my heart even bigger. That stupid saying you don't know what you have until it's gone? I knew what I had and I blew it, and I'm sorry. You being gone just makes it all the more real what I lost. Every passing day I mourn over you. I mourn over our marriage. I mourn. Will there ever come a day that I don't wake up with the weight of the world on my chest? Talk to me, Calliope. Talk to me, I'm begging you.

It's been exactly half of a year since I've seen you aside from a few brief moments onscreen when you're fleeing from my sight. Are you hiding or _are you hiding from me?_ That question will remain until I talk to you, I guess. Until you talk to me. You will talk to me again, right? I guess since I still (hope) I have your attention, I'll talk for a bit. You can't interrupt me if you aren't speaking to me. That was a joke, please say you smiled. You know you were always cutting me off. Most times I was annoyed, but now I look back at those moments with fond memories. I used to find it disrespectful, but really it was your great enthusiasm for life. I miss that. You just couldn't wait to share, whatever was in your head. Maybe it wasn't always the nicest thing, cutting me off, but I'd rather you cut me off than this silence. I'm starting to lose my mind in this silence. Once upon a time, without saying a word, you could light up my dark. You always did say it best when you said nothing at all. The look on your face told me a million 'I love yous'. I never questioned your love for me; there was a truth in your eyes that said more than words ever needed. Once upon a time, I had it all. And then I cheated on my wife. But it didn't start there, it only ended there. Our story ended before it ever truly began. There'd be no happily ever for us. And I am to blame. It doesn't matter why. Maybe it does, but not today. Today I am admitting that I messed us up, or I pushed our already fragile existence over the edge. I'm taking that blame. Look, I'm losing my mind. I've gone cheesy. If you don't talk to me soon, I'm going to end up in a padded room for Christ's sake.

Damn it, Callie, answer your damn phone. What if I was dying? I hung up on my mother because of you. You just ... you make me so mad sometimes. If I wanted to hear from my mother, I would have called her. Getting her to call me on _your _behalf is ... it's simply enraging. If only you'd fucking talk to me. 200 damn days of your silence is making me nuts. You didn't talk to me then, you won't talk to me now. Don't you see this is a toxic circle we're both stuck in? Maybe if you had tried talking to me then, maybe I wouldn't have felt so alone. Maybe I would have thought I had an ally instead of you placating me. You had to be so strong. I needed you to be weak too. I needed you to give some of that back to me; I'd lost it all. I _was _angry at you, with you. I _was _awful to live with. And you expected me to just accept things as they were without getting to grieve. I never saw you grieving, you just carried on like nothing had happened. Why didn't you let me see you grieve? I'm so mad at you.

Two hundred and fifty days and I still haven't even put my toe in the waters of opening up to you. The entire point of this letter. I keep trying, but I get so angry when I open this to write to you. The silence between us is deafening. That's my fault. I admit it. I'm taking my share of the blame. I don't do that. I don't admit such things. But for you, I'd do anything. For you ... I'd do anything. I always would. I gave up dreams and made new ones because I couldn't imagine a life without you, Callie. I never wanted to be a mother. Maybe it was part selfish. I wanted to sleep in on Saturday mornings and have sex on the dining room table. I wanted freedoms allotted to couples without children. And then the other part was fear. I was screwed up long before you ever came into the picture. I've suffered depression longer than most people realize, but only because I've never, until therapy, been able to admit that even to you, even to myself. I didn't want to screw up a child. I was terrified of being a mother. What if I said the wrong thing? Did the wrong thing? What if they spent their entire adult life in therapy trying to undo the damage I did? But I threw all of that away because you wanted children. Did that even penetrate your thick skull? How easily I gave up and jumped into motherhood? For you. Yes, it ended up being the best decision I've ever made. Sofia is the light of my life. I've never looked back. At least where she's concerned I never looked back. Speaking of back, I came back from Africa for you. I let Mark into my life for you. ... Into my heart. And that angers me too. If I hadn't, if he hadn't ... god damn it Callie, I lost Mark because of you. He was a good doctor and colleague, and I could deal with him as an acquaintance, but then I had to go and fall in love with him. He became the big brother I thought I'd never have again. He was my daughter's father and a good one at that. No, a great one. But you always knew he would be and I'm sorry I doubted you. And he was. And he was a great friend. I never wanted him to be my friend. And I miss him. I miss Mark. Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out had he stuck around. Would I have let things get so bad? Would you have seen what you were blinded to because you had nobody to point it out? We both had a good thing in Mark, didn't we? He'd never have let me abuse you the way I did. He'd never have let you take it. He'd have bashed our thick heads together and told us to figure it out. He'd have held us both accountable. I'm sorry you lost your best friend. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you did. And I'm sorry I never let you grieve over him and told you, made you feel that you had no right to do such a thing. I'm sorry. Please tell me you won't let Sofia forget him? I know how you hold onto pain, bury it deep down and avoid it, especially when you never were given the chance to do anything with it and I know you'd never purposely hurt Sofia, but don't forget him. For both of your sakes. He was a good man, a good father, and a good friend. While I never wanted Mark, I got so much more than I could have ever asked for.

327 days...

329 days... ...

332 days... ... ...

350 days. I can't, Callie. I don't know where to begin. Or to end. Or what to say. I want to say so much. And I have nothing to say that will save you any pain because that ship has sailed. Are you at least happy? I want you to be happy. I know you didn't think I was happy, but you made me so happy. You and Sofia both. What can I say that will change the past? Or the future? They're both set in stone, aren't they? I can't do or say anything that won't remind you of the pain I caused. I can only hope one day your bitterness will find itself on empty. That you run out of the hatred I'm certain you feel for me and maybe find it in your heart to forgive me. To talk to me. I don't know what to say. I have so much I want to say.

Callie, Today marks a year from the day I put you on a plane to lose you forever. I guess I did that sleeping with Lauren, putting you on a plane only cemented how gone you truly are. I've been writing this letter for a long time, but I've yet to open up to you and maybe because I kept hoping you'd call, and I could hear your voice and you'd hear me out in return. But I've given up on that so it's time for me to put it all out. I cheated on you to hurt you. I needed you to hurt as much as I was hurting because I couldn't tell you. You weren't talking to me, I wasn't talking to you; we were merely existing together, barely giving each other halves. We reached for each other in physicality, but that is where it began and ended. You craved touch to pacify your own guilt and I returned the sentiment to falsely heal the gaping hole in my world barely held together with bubble gum. It hurt me that you _needed_ to reconnect physically so much that the stress in our home made it almost impossible to breathe. And instead of addressing that, I failed in my own promises to you. I let a year of hurts pile up until I was so deep under that I couldn't see another way out. It's been so long now that I can see things clearly and I know that while we were both very wrong, we didn't know any other way because we never made ourselves strong enough apart to be strong enough together. We could have been so strong together had we both just talked. We used to talk. Once upon a time we overcame barriers of silence. But that lead us to our first break-up, and maybe we were both so burnt by that, somewhere in our crazy heads we decided it best to keep conversations from the hard stuff. Were we protecting ourselves? Were we protecting each other? It burned us both in the end to the point of no return.

This is the last addition to this letter. I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to mail this to you. I regret a lot of things throughout the years. I wasn't happy but to no fault of anybody but myself, I didn't love myself and you know what they say, if you can't love you then who will?

I can openly admit this now, I have depression. It's not something to be ashamed of and it happens to the best of us. It's no longer taboo and it's something I can admit without blinding pain. It has built up with my inability to admit that there was anything wrong with me, I say me because I did this, this was me. It's like a car crash, you know the hit is coming, and everything around you is happening in slow motion, but your brain is still going at a hundred and there isn't a darn thing to stop it.

I thought I had it under control. I thought if I could project happiness on the outside, then the inside had to follow, right? I was wrong.

I can't remember the last time I had a full night's uninterrupted sleep when not on call. My brain drives in 6th gear at 200 miles an hour. It's always switched on. I feel inadequate; I have no self-esteem and have so many times, I wished that you had just let the infection kill me. The trouble I have caused you. Thoughts of death...I mean I'm here, alive and before you worry about me doing something (would you worry?) suicide is not on my mind. Just because I'm depressed doesn't mean I'm suicidal. I couldn't do it, but yes death is on my mind because I think a lot about how better your and Sofia's life would have been without me. I would have still been a loving wife, loving mother and not the slut you think I am now.

I hated you for breaking that promise. I hate myself for blaming you for breaking a promise I knew logically was out of your hands, but yeah that's where my brain went. My therapist tells me that she calls them garbage truck moments...I must say I laughed at the time, as in my head I had visions of a little garbage truck driving over my shoulder to stop at my ear and throw garbage bags in, ridiculous right?

Anyway, she said that people who suffer depression varies from person to person and varies in severity. Sometimes obsessing over things, the 'what if's'. Sometimes it can be viewed as a midlife crisis, a straight laced business man who now wants a motorcycle and tattoos, while someone else begins to think of a past love that, well 'what if'. In every case, the individual acts totally out of character.

I was so obsessed with who I used to be, trying to fix myself. The brain can torture you, always replaying the worst, you look for escapes. My escape? Well, that lead to our destruction. I wasn't happy with who I'd become. I hurt you deeply and then I tried to help, I thought the best thing was getting you away from me, giving you space so I couldn't hurt you again while I self destructed...and look how well that helped.

I was asked about leaving Seattle. Move away, start again, because only bad things happened to me in Seattle. Leaving Seattle would give me the fresh start I needed on my journey to heal. My answer to her was: 'No, I can't'.

She asked me to explain why I couldn't...well that's easy. Seattle was the place I met you, where I kissed you without a second thought. Where we danced just for the hell of it. Where we said our "I love you'". Where Sofia was born, where she took her first step. The first time she spoke. Where we said our I do's in-front of our family and friends...where our memories are...because no matter how bad the bad was, there was always the good that outshone it, I just couldn't see through the veil of darkness.

She asked me if I would ever leave Seattle.

My answer was yes, but only if it was coming home to you and Sofia. I hope one day I can and we can make better memories.

I will love you always,

Arizona

**Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow and when it's time, you'll know**

As she wiped the remnants of the tears from the trails they had made down her cheek to pool at her mouth, Callie returned her eyes to the top of the letter to begin the torture again. Since she went into her room without Arizona, she had read the letter over and over again, the noises of the world beginning to wake outside her window made her look up at her clock. She must have looked a picture of scariness as dark, smudged, night before makeup painted her face. She was heartbroken, reading how messed up her ex-wife was, and the thing that stung deeply was that she hadn't helped what had happened. She was angry and betrayed, and with hindsight she had wished she had done a hell of a lot of things differently. She hadn't seen the signs. If she hadn't been so wrapped up in everything else, then maybe she would have seen it.

Looking back with clarity, less emotion and anger, she knew there was just so much that wasn't right with them. Before the leg issue... Maybe they shouldn't have gotten married. They lost each other, forgot who they were, they changed each other so much that they didn't even realise it. She wasn't sure about a lot of things right now, but she knew, in her heart, that she loved Arizona deeply.

She was a different person now; she was successful in her own field, sought after. She was more mature this time with the way she handled her relationship, so why was this so hard to give it another go? The love had never left, it just had hurt jumping on it...with snow spikes on. Arizona had changed, she was getting to know her again...they were both getting to know each other again.

Callie dropped the letter as she heard the commotion come from the guest room, placing the letter down on the nightstand; she made her way over to her bedroom door to watch the show.

**"Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."**

"Robbins?" Cristina raised her voice as the panic set in, she opened one eye, quickly shutting it again as Arizona's prosthetic came into view.

"I'm still pretty tired, but if you wanna go again…?" Wiping her eyes, when she heard Arizona's voice laced with humour very loudly fill the quiet. Cristina took another look at the prosthetic and then the Blonde lying next to her, noses nearly touching as they faced each other with their heads on the pillow.

Cristina's eyes shot open in shock as she watched Arizona bat her eyelids at her. Taking in Arizona's appearance, it looked as though she wasn't wearing anything. Connecting all the dots in Cristina's mind..._Drunk...stupidly Drunk...in bed with a lesbian...extremely stupidly drunk...in bed with a fricken muff diving Lesbian..._her mouth fell open as she almost threw the fake limb across the room in horror, wriggling manically, trying to get away from the Blonde in the tangled bed sheets as quickly as possible. Once she was out of the bed she grabbed a pillow and began to back away, almost as though she was backing away and trying to protect herself from a dangerous animal.

"Oh Cristina, come back to bed...that thing you do with your tongue…" Arizona never even got to finish as Cristina turned on her heels and scuttled very quickly gripping the pillow in front of her chest. Meeting Callie on the way out of the room, she stopped only slightly to look at her friend, her mouth wide and then shut as though she was going to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. Raising a finger, she opened her mouth again. "Say Nothing!"

When she caught the smirk from Callie, she moved her head looking straightforward, trying to block Callie's laughter out. That laughter that seemed to rumble to life mocking her.

"I'm going to sleep in little doc's room!"

Callie watched as Cristina disappeared through to her daughter's room. It wasn't until she was halfway down the hall that she realized she was still fully clothed, her bra and panties intact. "Very funny assholes. You got me, haha." She yelled sarcastically before disappearing.

Looking back to Arizona whose wide grin matched her amusement, she watched as the bed covers were moved in a silent welcome. She took in the view of Arizona in her vest top and sweats; she had moved the straps of her top to make it look like she had been naked. Callie smiled when Arizona patted the empty space next to her.

"I think she was pretty freaked out. You should have seen her face when she woke up holding my leg." Arizona giggled as Callie got into the bed and settled into Arizona's embrace.

They lay still and peacefully for ten minutes just listening to each other's breathing. Arizona fit perfectly around Callie, and she was just beginning to fall asleep when she heard Callie's quiet voice.

"I've missed us. I want to find us again. I think we can come back stronger this time, we've both had the time to heal and I'm willing to try...I'm willing to try." Callie felt her heart warm as Arizona's embrace only got tighter.

"That's all we can do...try." Arizona closed her eyes as the smile formed, this was the first time in a long time she found herself so settled she could fall asleep.

**Never run from the enemy, tackle them**

Buried deep under her covers, her head under her pillow, Sofia began to stir. She could hear the snores and grunts come from her floor, partly the reason she was awake so early. Why was Aunt Cristina cuddling a pillow on her floor?

Getting out of her bed as carefully as she could, to not wake the sleeping noisemaker, Sofia grabbed her oversized robe, huddling deep into it until only her head stuck out. She stumbled her way out into the hall as she made her way toward the front door, dancing to herself when she saw her National Geographic Little Kids Magazine, which her Pops had subscribed to for her.

"Oh YAY! Baby Otters!" Sofia was so focused on the front cover of the magazine through hazy eyes, that she was oblivious to anything else going on around her. She squealed happily, not realising that Toby was on the couch. The noise startled him and he looked up through blurred eyes. The shift in the leather alerted Sofia to the other person in the room. "Good morning your Majesty, too many grapes?"

King mumbled as the colorfulSofia blur moved past the couch. He continued to follow, his eyes clearing the longer he looked. When she was about to disappear, he yawned and rolled over to face the back of the sofa. A few seconds later he turned around so fast that he nearly fell off the edge, looking confused as to what he thought he had just seen.

Putting her magazine on her counter, she went to get washed and brush her teeth before anybody else woke up and ruined her reading time. Hygiene came first in her family, before anything else.

A bloody scream erupted from the bathroom, echoing off of every wall in the apartment causing both Toby and Cristina to scramble, running at full speed toward the source of the noise where Sofia was found in complete horror, pinching her cheeks, still screaming.

Toby, quickly realizing the extent of what he'd previously seen, remained in the doorway as Cristina raced to the young girl's side in panic. He could barely contain himself as the realization of what was going on took over. He could kiss Callie and Arizona.

"Oh my god! Little Doc why are you blue? You're blue...like a fricken blueberry. What did you do!?" Cristina was freaking out as the little girl threw herself into her arms.

"I'm a blueberry." Sofia sobbed. "I ... I ... I ate too many blueburrssss." Her words were muffled into Cristina's neck as she held on tight, scared out of her mind. "Don't juice me." She sobbed so hard, she slobbered all over her aunt's neck.

"Gross. You're getting me all wet." Cristina pulled back, the mirror now in her line of vision and seeing the proof clearly marked on her own body. It was kind of priceless, both of them falling victim in one swift kick, and she couldn't help but be proud of her little protégés.

"Don't juice me, Aunt Cristina. Please. I'll be good. I'll never eat no more blueberries ever again. Please, don't let Mommies juice me neither." Sofia wiped at her tears, smudging her bright blue face.

Meanwhile Callie and Arizona had been listening, cuddled in each other's arms at the horrifying exchange taking place in the next room. They didn't expect tears and they felt shame for having made their daughter cry, but it was perfect, both recipients and their freak-outs. Hearing Sofia beg her aunt over and over again, they decided to end her misery; Callie leading the way toward the bathroom as Arizona followed shortly after, once Callie threw her the leg Cristina had tossed across the room after her panic.

Standing next to Toby in the doorway, the three huddled together as Sofia looked up at their arrival.

"Don't juice me!" She cried.

"Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo. We've got another puzzle for you. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-da-dee. If you are wise, you'll listen to me. Pranking's fine when it's once in a while. April first is the acceptable style. But it's annoying and completely wrong. Pranking and pranking all day long. The way that you do. Oompa loompa do-ba-dee-da. Listen to your mothers, you will go far. You will live in happiness too. Like the oompa loompa do-ba-de-doo." Both women sang their rehearsed song, smiling as their daughter came to realize what they'd done. Sofia balled her fists by her side, biting her cheek trying hard not to smile at the dorkiness of her moms. She'd been had and they were brilliant. She was a proud daughter, even if they'd scared the poop out of her.

"I'm taking your badass card and burning it." Toby shoved Callie's shoulder after their song ended. "What happened to you? This carefree Callie is..."

"Happy. Completely happy." Callie smiled looking between Arizona and Sofia. And she was, for the first time in a very long time, Callie was really happy.

"I like her." Cristina shrugged acting indifferent. She liked this Arizona too, but admitting that was far off.

"Hello?! Is anybody going to help me? I'm all blue!" She tapped her foot, hands on her hips, waiting for an answer.

"Nope, it's all you kid. Nobody was there to hold me when I woke up holding your mom. Take your little blueberry self into the shower." Cristina pointed.

"You woke up holding Mama?" Sofia questioned, an amused look on her face.

"You could say Cristina had me spread eagle." Arizona winced in pain as Callie's elbow came into contact with her side.

"Arizona! Sofia!"

"What's spread eagle, Mommy?"

Toby roared in laughter, Cristina was not amused, Callie feigned anger, and Arizona pulled away from the door, stripping her daughter and turning on the showerhead. "It's something you do during exercise. Shower. Now." She picked her up and plopped her in the tub.

"You two must be proud of yourselves. Out-pranking the masters is a difficult thing." Cristina headed for the coffee maker as the other three settled in to wait for their morning shot of hello to be brewed.

"What can we say, we learned from the best." Callie grinned, her smile widening even more as Arizona grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together.

**Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out. Honestly I wanna see you be brave**

"So Callie? Last session I asked if you could read the letter Arizona gave you?" He watched the panic shift to the front in both women's eyes. They hadn't spoken about it. Callie hadn't told Arizona she had and Arizona didn't push Callie. They both had been so preoccupied with working together to get Yang and their daughter back; that they had totally forgot about the worries of the next session coming up.

Jay sat up straight in his chair taking in the two women sitting before him. This was different; he kept his smile to himself. The distance, okay the crater in the distance, in previous sessions had been steadily decreasing, but today both women sat next to each other. Their hands at their sides, as they tried to subtly keep contact. It was good; he didn't know these women before he had started work with them, but he could see that the love was there even through the shouting and words thrown to hurt.

Tears streamed down Callie's cheeks, her head hung slightly as she tried desperately to compose herself. It haunted her. Every word on the page was like a little dagger in the heart. Arizona hadn't meant for the letter to cause so much pain, but it did because with Callie's clarity came the grief she'd been unwilling to let herself feel. "Yes, I did read the letter…" Callie watched as James lowered his brows in an indication to continue. "Arizona" Callie turned to face her, taking the shaking hand in hers. She offered a small smile in return when she felt Arizona relax to her touch with a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "I would like to apologise, I'm sorry that I kept throwing your trying back in your face, it wasn't fair. We took vows, and yes I know you broke them, but I broke them too. Through the good and bad...I disappeared, I blocked you out and didn't see the bigger picture. I didn't see that you weren't yourself, I had blinders on when it came to us. I'm sorry I turned my back on you instead of trying to sort things out. I'm sorry I let my anger and hurt get the best of me. So I'm asking you, can we forget about the past and move forward. I'm so tired of fighting the past." Callie looked into Arizona's tear laced eyes, when she sucked in a breath and tried to nod, the movement of her head dislodged the tears and the floodgates opened.

Arizona went to respond, but she choked on her own tears, shaking her head in the negative to collect her thoughts, Callie froze, panicking at Arizona's quick denial. "I didn't ... you don't ... I ... are ...?" She was stuttering, trying to figure out where to go now that Arizona didn't want to continue forward.

"No, no Callie." But her response was lost under Callie's stammering fear-driven speech. If you could call it a speech.

"But you said, and I thought, and we were getting there, and I don't get it. You said you wanted this. I know I'm not easy to be with, but you ... and I ... and we and I just assumed. Oh god, that's my problem. I always assume things. I figured and damn it..." Callie tried to pull back from Arizona's hands, but the blonde only squeezed tighter refusing to let go.

"Calliope Torres, stop right now." Arizona's voice was commanding. "I didn't say no."

"You didn't?" Callie's voice, uncertain and scared.

"No, god no. I, this is what I want. You are what I want. Us is what I want. I'm so sorry that we took this long to find this path again. I'm sorry for everything. Callie, _you _are what I want. You and Sofia. I didn't say no." She repeated. "I want this."

"You do?" She asked timidly.

"Yes. We just have to promise things and keep them this time around. Real promises. Based on mutual trust and love, and not fear." She ended quietly.

Love. Something neither woman had been able to say. Neither woman could admit since they started trying again. It was fear. Nothing more. Nothing less. Neither had ever stopped loving the other. Neither ever wanted to. But to love the other meant there would be pain, and in the world of Callie and Arizona, that pain was always to the extreme and they were scared. The sheer enormity of the word was beyond frightening.

Before Callie could respond, Arizona kept going, her own fear tramping any room for Callie to break her heart with a response not in kind. "And we need to talk. Not just talk, but communicate. Listen to each other. _Really _listen. It's not going to happen overnight, but..."

"But if we take things slowly and see where they go, we can do this, Arizona." Callie blinked several times. "Because I love you and I want this too."

Jay smiled. After weeks and weeks of going back and forth, his office being more like the frontlines of world war two than a vacation in the Alps, they'd reached Normandy. He was impressed. Granted he didn't think that they'd actually get here, but now that they were, he was impressed. "Well Ladies this is fantastic, but there's one thing I need you to do?" Both women eyed him suspiciously.

"I want you to take sex out of your relationship…" Jay saw the look of sheer panic from Callie and smiled, holding his hand up in surrender. "Just for the time being, you both used sex in the past both against each other and to bury things, so I want you to take that away. Arizona's letter has brought up obvious issues you both have been skirting around, so tackle them, together, but tackle them without falling into bed together to avoid them or _fix _them."

While Arizona couldn't disagree with him, she wasn't exactly thrilled about the prospect of no sex. Part of what made coming out to Pennsylvania less traumatic was the thought that when she landed, Callie would screw her brains out and make her forget all the fears that the plane ride brought with it. It was for healing ... and selfish needs too.

"For how long?" Arizona's was the surprising voice that asked the question.

"I'll tell you at our next session. In life you don't get instant satisfaction, you get slog. You can't fill the void with anything but self-actualization. That's your homework for next time. Now ladies your time for today is up. I'll see you in… let's say a month?" He got up and moved toward the door trying to keep a professional front on as he saw the shock continue on the women's faces. Hustling them out, he quickly shut and locked the door. Counting backwards from ten, he got to seven before they both growled.

"A month?" Callie bellowed.

"A month." Arizona agreed despondently. "That's four visits out here!"

"And that's tentative. He said we'd talk about it next session." Callie frowned as they made their way to the elevator holding tight to Arizona's hand.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Arizona asked feeling lost. Not that sex was all the time, but damn it, for when it was, it was out of this world amazing. It made the pain worth it because the pleasure was that much greater. "Wanna play a game? Sofia's with Mom for the night and Cristina's ... I don't know."

"Scrabble?" Callie smirked feeling naughty. Sex was off the table, but teasing wasn't. She was in a mood, a carefree, great mood. And she wanted to do something with it even if she couldn't _do _something with it.

Pouting, Arizona shrugged not catching on. "Scrabble works. I'm going to pass on the alcohol though, no use getting drunk if I can't do dirty things to you without feeling embarrassed."

"I'm pretty sure when Cristina and Toby caught us on the kitchen floor, you were embarrassed, and you were pretty drunk."

"Yeah well, every time Cristina eats carrots in my presence, I kinda wanna die. She doesn't believe me that they fell on the floor during our race to get me naked. She swears we were sexually experimenting with food. According to her, nobody gets horny making a salad. She won't let me explain that your drunk ass waltzed into the kitchen in your birthday suit telling me I had an hour to do whatever I wanted, safe word out the window. Not that I'd tell her that exactly anyway but still." Arizona wished she hadn't mentioned it as she felt herself throbbing at the memories.

"Best hour ever."

* * *

**Nic's Notes. **

Oooh, I like that. Nic's Notes. It sounds professional.

Enough of that. As Sadie said above, thank you to everybody that has taken the time to read this. We admit there were some bumpy reviewer moments and we apologize that anybody had to witness the sadness of the fandom reaching its ugly heights. It's a good show and we love the pairing and are looking forward to seeing them striped bare this season.

In saying that, we're bringing this to a close with the greatest possibility of that being the next chapter but it's been a pleasure to write with Sadie and for our wonderful readers. Writing with Sadie has taught me a lot and I am really grateful that she took the time to work with me. We've had loads of fun. None of this would have been able to happen had it not been for Gene, Sportsfan, Zoe, Sportsfan, Trace, and Shinata-Riyoko. Between your constant support and enthusiasm and ass-kickings, along with great help, we have been blessed with such a great circle of friends. Okay, enough of the sappy. Enjoy.


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